The Zoo, Part 1

The friend Dudley decided to take along on the trip was Dennis. It's a shame that he didn't choose Malcolm. After what happened to Piers he's gotten quite a bit more pleasant. He still hangs around with Dudley and the other Vapids, but he's no longer following their lead and bullying people.

Probably why Dudley didn't bring him. Afterall, he does enjoy making Harry and I miserable whenever he can.

Once we get there though, dumb and dumber mostly forget about our presences. Their focus is mostly on the animals, other than occasionally comparing them to us.

Still though, even we have fun. At one point Dudley and Dennis get some ice cream, but after paying for it Dudley suddenly decides that he wants a different flavor. Thus Harry and I are given the ice cream to share.

I look around surreptitiously to make sure nobody is paying attention to us, then whisper a little chant.

"Ice cream, ice cream, it's so good. But just like trouble, it's better in double!" And suddenly I'm holding two ice creams. I hand one to Harry and he gives me a grin.

I don't necessarily need to say anything to use my power, but it helps me to focus on what I want to happen. Image is important for the end result.

Except for explosions. Those I can mostly do on instinct.

Harry and I share a nod, our plans for the trip already made, then we separate.

Harry follows the Dursleys and Dennis to the Reptile exhibit, while I head to the area that they've been avoiding.

The exhibits that house large cats.

There I see many kinds of cats. Lions, leopards, Hyenas. And finally, I come across a sizeable crowd surrounding a single cage.

On the bars is a large sign with a warning.

*DO NOT ATTEMPT TO APPROACH THE CAGE. MAN EATER*

As I fail to push through the crowd, I notice that the other side of the cage is strangely void of tourists. Backing up, I make my way around.

There I see why nobody is around. The tiger is right next to the bars on this side.

Apparently it was trying to avoid all the people staring at it, while the people didn't want to ACTUALLY see the man eating tiger.

I look at the giant cowering cat, failing to hide its body underneath the ferns in its enclosure. I speak.

"Wow, you're a lot more of a scaredy-cat than I thought you would be."

Hearing my voice, the cat looks up. Its mouth opens, presumably to roar or growl at me. Maybe a hiss thrown in for good measure. But what actually happens has my jaw drop.

"Are you kidding? How would you react if a giant crowd suddenly showed up and started making all kinds of racket while you were taking a nap?" The tiger responds with a perfectly reasonable response.

Our eyes meet and we simply stare at each other for a moment. Then the tiger rapidly starts to backpedal, but when the crowd on the other side of the cage starts to grow more excited, it simply squeezes itself into as small a ball as it can.

"Ah! A talking human!" It shivers as it stares at me.

I feel a tick mark appear on my head and I scowl at it. "Hey! Why're you the one acting surprised!? I should be the one shouting: "Ah! A talking cat!" Don't steal my lines!"

Somehow the tiger manages to look affronted. "How dare you! I'll have you know that tigers have been able to talk since time immeasurable! It is you humans who haven't been able to speak. At least until now."

I massage the bridge of my nose between two fingers. I get the feeling that this argument would drag on for a long time. And as tempted as I am to get into a debate about which species could talk first, really tempted... I shake my head. 'No! Maybe some other time.'

"Whatever. Anyways, you said something about cowering because that crowd showed up while you were sleeping?"

They growl. "I am not cowering, I am simply... biding my time. Yes, once they get bored and leave, then I will show my majestic form." They puff out their chest in pride. "After all, I am a majestic tiger! The privilege of laying eyes upon this wondrous body of mine should be reserved for the few, not the many."

I raise an eyebrow. "You don't talk to other tigers much do you?" I make an exaggerated gesture of looking around then act surprised. "Oh wait..."

They deflate quickly and look down to the side. "Well it's not like I have any say in the matter." They sullenly mutter.

A huge grin splits my face and a gleam appears in my eye. "So if you had the chance to leave the zoo without repercussion and never return, would you take it?"

The tiger looks at me, confused. "Sure, I guess. As long as I'm not being woken from my naps. "

"Well then, how would you like to come with me?"

They stare at me, dumbfounded.

"Think about it, I get you out of here, and not only will you get to sleep as long as you like, but you'll also have someone you can talk to!"

"Well... I suppose it wouldn't be the worst thing. Ok, I accept." They still look a bit uncertain, but oh well. Them having no confidence in their decisions isn't my problem.

I stretch my hand to the bars of the cage. "Now Mr. Tiger, take my hand and be free!"

"How dare you! I'm a woman!"

"...Ok."