Am I Unworthy to Be With You?

{Even after two hundred years, I searched in vain.}

….

Sharen held the small book in his hand as he walked out of the room he had been before. Shar stayed behind. Looking at the little book, Sharen felt a sense of satisfaction—and intrigue. He'd searched—and everyone had searched equally—for years yet he had never found any clue to where the artefact could be.

Now that he had the book—even though it didn't outright spell out the location of the cursed artefact—he could find the history behind it and from there, be able to gather more information. It was a chance that he hadn't thought he'd have.

On one hand he felt angered that Shar had used dark magic to destroy the animals in Samak and then cast a spell on him in order to drive him to seek help. According to her, she had been waiting to offer the 'service' in exchange for finding Goramel.

'Goramel has the other half of the book.' Sharen found himself anticipating his meeting with the man. However, he felt too tired to even read the first page of the book so he put it away. With a thought he called the system. Surprise came at him when he saw the various messages that the system threw at him all at once.

**congratulations on breaking through into the green core. You have received 500 magical points**

**You have received 2000 magical points for killing two Shattered Knights**

Sharen was shocked to see that he could also gain magical points by killing the Knights. It seemed the system also had a slight hate for the Knights. His joy was doubled when he realised he still had magical points available to spend. He had worried about how he'd fare if he ever encountered another fight.

It was evening already and the air was still cold, sweeping through the area the house was located at. Sharen stood by the small barricade that served as a gate, leaning over it as he looked over the large expanse of land. The light from the house illuminated the surrounding.

His mind travelled.

….

Narene dropped her cup of water on the table when she noticed that Sharen was still leaning against the barricade. It was cold outside yet he only had a layer of cloth on. She frowned, standing to her feet.

She eyed him for a while before making the decision to go over. When she arrived by his side, he glanced at her for a brief second then looked away again. She noticed that his body was tensed. She sighed. "It's cold."

"I have a lot on my mind." Sharen said with a melancholic voice.

Narene nodded but then asked. "Will we return to the village?"

A part of her wanted to return to Samak yet a part of her—the bigger part—wanted to stay away. She didn't want to see her father. Looking at his tear filled face as she was dragged away by the Knights made her heart throb. She didn't want to feel that way again. She had chosen her path. She had chosen magic over him.

Sharen shook his head. "No. If we return, the Knights might get to us again and it would be bad."

"So," she said, wiping her chin. "Where will we go next? We can't stay with Shar forever."

"Shokhi," Sharen said turning to her. "We might need to get some supplies there and hunt for a while."

Narene found herself smiling when she heard that name. She said, "They say that Shokhi city has the finest soldiers and swordsmen."

"Too bad the Holy Emperor doesn't need swords and men."

"Regardless," Narene shook her head. "It might help me improve my sword fighting."

With a sigh, Sharen turned from her and she felt that pang again. "I'm sorry. This wasn't how your apprenticeship should have been like."

"It's fine," Narene said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I learnt a lot from our little fight together."

Sharen's tensed jaw and slight shift made Narene remove her hand from his shoulder. She felt slightly…rejected. The way he would flinch when her skin brushed against his, the way he'd look away from her every time, the way he would ignore her all made her feel like she wasn't good enough.

It wasn't supposed to but somehow it saddened her. She said, "Can I ask you a question?"

Sharen nodded.

"You kissed me one time and after that you seem repulsed by my presence." She fixed her eyes on him and they shone like burning torches. "Am I that bad? Am I unworthy to be with you?"

Sharen turned to her and she could see the look of discomfort in his eyes. He shook his head, reaching out with shaky hands to touch hers. "You don't repulse me, Narene and you are more than worthy."

"Then why do you treat me this way?" she asked, eyeing her hand which he held firmly.

"Because," Sharen said through gritted teeth as if the very act of speaking was draining his magical energy. "I am under a spell. Shar cast a spell on me and whenever I see you, I feel lust. I can't live like this and I can't look at you that way.

"I want my feelings to be straight and honest."

Narene pulled her hand from his grip. "I understand."

She turned away from him, heading back to the room they'd been given by Shar. "I'll go to bed now. If you need anything just wake me."

Sharen nodded.

All the time Narene felt her heart beating at her. What had she expected when she had asked Sharen that question? Did she expect anything from him? She shook her head, considering that it was only normal.

Even if Shar had cast a spell on him—and she believed she had—was it an excuse to not want her? Narene hit her head as the thoughts became unbearable. "You idiot, Narene. He's your master. You shouldn't be thinking of such things."

Yet the feeling was there. She jumped into bed with a slightly heavy heart. They'd probably leave for Shokhi the next day and she wanted to catch as much sleep as she could.