My Hope

5 Years Later

Every year, I am like this. Wondering around, nowhere to go. After what happened 5 years ago, I lost all my memories. All I know is that I was crushed by a moving van while I cross the road. I saw my body soaking with my own blood and after that, I started to wander around. I can't remember who I am, who my parents are or where do I usually live. I also started to see ghosts, just like me and I'm glad that someone accompanies me.

She's also a ghost that's tied to a restaurant. She told me that ghosts that wander here still have something that needed to be done. Hers is when her mother that owns the restaurant, found the money that she kept, she will be leaving and going to the afterlife.

If I still need to do something I should remember it, but why do I don't remember it? Am I the only ghost around here that doesn't remember anything?

"Hey! Just chill girl, you'll find your way someday." Kath said, my ghost friend. She's always worried because I've been wondering for 5 years and still no clue about who I really am. But every year I kept on going to the same places that I don't know if it has a connection with my life. The park, university, a treehouse, and a house.

"Snap it and just relax for a minute!" Kath poked my forehead. I overthink a lot, I force myself into remembering something and I always forgot to relax for a bit. Yes, ghosts still have feelings and such. There are things that a ghost can do just like when we were alive except that people can't see, feel us and we can't touch things unless people offer them to our ghosts.

Kath offers me a roasted beef, I'm confused why is she offering me that. "What? Ghosts can eat, but we don't feel hunger. Besides, this is a lot. My mom kept on offering me food." I looked to her mother and saw Kath's ashes with a candle and the food beside it.

Sometimes I wish someone would do that for me, but sadly no one does. Maybe I live alone and doesn't have a family when I was still alive. It's sad to think about that, but I keep on pushing myself to think positive. Someone might not know that I'm already dead.

"I just need to remember who I am," I said while I eat the beef. I guess I'll try to wonder again and hoping to find something that I could remember about who I am. I suddenly stood up without talking. "Woah! You're leaving again?" Kath asked me. "well I have nothing to do, so yes. I'll wonder again." I smiled at her and then left her. I've spent 5 years wandering around, and I shouldn't stop there. I should keep on going until I remember everything.

I keep on walking and walking until I went back to the same park I've been to every year. Whenever I wonder, I always end up here. A park, near the lake and near the back entrance of a university. Since I'm already here, I just look around hoping to see something that would help me bring back my memories... or I guess someone.

A guy just caught my attention, he was just sitting, sad and alone on a bench while holding a pink anemone flower. But I got confused while I stare at him, how did I know that kind of flower. As I walk towards him, I suddenly saw a vision. A vision of a purple anemone flower and a book. For 5 years, this is the first time that happened to me. Seeing a vision, that's must be a clue.

The guy suddenly stood up and walks away, leaving the flower on the bench. I think I should follow him, he might lead me to somewhere else that could help me. As I walk, I suddenly lost him. I don't know why I lost him, I just ended up in a house. A house that I went to every year when I wonder. I'm really confused about how I get here, but I saw a lady went out of the house. I just stared at her, she seems sad, like she lost something in her life. Maybe if I have a mother, she would be like this. Sad and lost.

After a few hours of wondering, I went back to Kath's with a confused look. "Are you okay? Did something happened?" Kath asked me as I sat beside her. "I don't know. I saw visions of a flower and a book and..." Kath suddenly cut me. "Woah Woah! You saw visions?" I nodded. "Anika, this is it! It might be a sign of your past life!" I'm still confused. Well, yeah this is the first time that I saw visions for the past 5 years. But does that mean it's a sign of my past life?

"Come to think of it, you kept on going to the same places as you wonder. Maybe, you've been there before when you're still alive." I nodded and agreed to what she said. "What if go wonder again and just look for more things that could help you," Kath said. "What should I look for? I don't even know what things to look at." she just shrugged as an answer. I am still lost even if she gave me advice. But fine, I'll take her advice and go wonder again.

I left Kath again and went to the university that is near the park that I just went to. I got an idea to go here since I wear a school uniform, I must be a student here in this school.

As I went through the gate, this university is really big. It has a grass field, huge buildings with multiple classrooms, and more. Students who study here are really lucky, they've got the best university. But I just need to look for the office and see if my name is in their records. It's a good thing for me that I still have my name tag with me when I die, at least I know what's my real name.

When I got to the office, I just waited a little bit because if someone left their computer I could use it to search for my name. Yes, I know that a ghost can tough a little bit of a person's stuff. I just need to haunt it. At first, it's hard to haunt but with a little bit of practice, any ghost can do more than just a little move.

I saw an available computer and I immediately search for my name. But sadly, nothing showed up. I just left the building with a loss of hope. I thought I found where I went to school, but I was wrong. There are so many schools in this place. I stepped on a leaf repeatedly because of my disappointment and anger.

"Oh! Did that leaf just flattened by itself?" a random girl just said. I forgot that I could still touch things. I just acted as nothing happened. "Are you crazy? Just ignore that." the guy that is with her just left.

But someone just caught my attention. A guy is staring at me, look behind me but no one was there. But when I looked at him he's gone and walking away from me. That is really weird, he just stared as he could see me. And he's somehow familiar, I think I saw him but I can't point when or where.

***

I just continue on wandering inside the university until nightfall. I entered a room inside the building of the university and saw a yearbook from 5 years ago. This might be the clue, my name must be in here somewhere. As I look through the pages, I felt something is coming towards me and when I looked around... "Howmyfudge!" it's just a ghost who tried to scare me. "hahaha" he laughed. "Stop that! And whoever you are, don't do that again." I said. "What? I love scaring people." he just laughed and left me without saying anything. Well, let's just ignore that and continue on what I am doing.

And again, I felt someone is near me but before I looked who it was. He suddenly grabbed the book that I'm holding and stared at me like I'm in big trouble. "What are you doing in here?" he asked. But he's looking straight into my eyes. He is the same guy that stared at me before when I left the office building.

Is he a ghost? But he looks alive compare to me, but he can see me. He really can see me!

To be Continued...