Chapter 29
Alex very clearly feels Daniel's hand on his back. He feels so self-conscious. Especially, since he didn't stop to shower or even change after working all day. He starts to feel uncomfortable. But glancing sideways at Daniel he notices, that Daniel is totally unperturbed by his inner struggle and just smiling happily.
"I am glad you seem content now. I was worried this morning.", Alex can't help but observe. He notices a guilty expression on Daniel's face.
"I am sorry. Despite talking with you and all my big promises I was really anxious about the whole business with Shao Shen. I already wanted to back out." He admits the last part with a small voice.
"I know. I noticed how you tried to distance yourself from me. I was afraid you would break up with me." Seeing another guilty expression, Alex feels his heart clench. So he was right, Daniel already resolved to call it off.
Sensing Alex flinch at his reaction, Daniel stops, grabbing Alex' arms and positioning him in front of him, making sure he has to meet his gaze.
"I am sorry. I am really sorry. I was a coward and I was worried about you. But now, that the issue with Shao Shen is resolved, I can finally let myself be happy with you." Hearing himself say it like that, he realizes how shallow his feelings are sounding. So he adds "But I admit, if anything like this happens again, my first priority will be to keep you and my family safe. I will do anything I have to do to achieve that, even if it means distancing me from you."
Alex flinches. It suddenly seemed like a very high possibility.
"No." He looks straight into Daniel's eyes, meeting his boyfriend's surprised gaze head on. "No", he repeats, "I know, it might be dangerous, but I won't have you distancing yourself from me. I don't want a relationship with a back door. I will go along with everything to keep myself and you save, with everything. But you have to agree to not break up with me over that issue."
He lets his words linger between them. Satisfied, he notices how Daniel seriously thinks about it. Finally, he permits "Okay, but if I tell you, you have to get out of town for a few weeks, you have to do it." Alex readily nods at this, but Daniel adds "It might cause you trouble with work and be inconvenient, but if it gets dangerous here, you have to get out."
Sensing the seriousness in the other's words, Alex breathes in deeply, steadying his voice before he replies "Yes." Daniel watches him, making sure he understands what this might entail.
He sighs in defeat. "Okay. Then we will make this work." He smiles, and in a less serious tone he adds "It is not like what happened with Shao Shen is a frequent occurrence here in the small town. We are only a little company with no real rivals." He sighs again, thinking about the last years "In all the years I lead the company, it was only this incident with Shao Shen that made everything turn into a mess, involving the family members, making it personal. Even the death of my parents was a normal car accident without anything fishy, despite being in the business for thirty years."
He looks at Alex, who listened to him attentively, these blue eyes capturing him.
Quickly, he grabs Alex, pulling him into a shadowy alley, which shields them from the public's eye. "Thank you for believing in me." He touches his hand to Alex' cheek. Alex looks up, smiling warmly, "You are very welcome."
Daniel leans in and kisses Alex like he didn't dare yesterday. Yesterday, he was in a daze, letting the mood get the better of him. He was merely swept along by Alex, only doing what the other allowed him to do, only gently holding something so easily breakable, what could be out of grasp in the blink of an eye.
Today was different. Daniel's desires are roaring inside him, rejoicing at the sight of Alex standing in front of him, expecting a kiss. He just wants to devour the beautiful man in front of him, wants to push him against the wall and take him right here and now. Ravage him, like the beast he feels himself to be.
He feels Alex deepen the kiss, answering his hidden desires. He feels his body stir at the thought of going further.
He quickly shoves Alex away. "Love, don't tempt me like that. We have the whole night and weekend ahead of us. I don't want to take you here in a dirty alley." Alex' eyes widen, when he sees the desire clearly mirrored in the other's eyes, sensing that - even if said jokingly - the described scenario nearly would have been a real possibility.
He blushes and turns his head away. "First, we have to walk Zero." Both look down to their feet, where the poor dog switches his gaze from one to another, not sure what to make out of the antics of the two-legged-persons.
"You are right." Daniel smiles and places his hand again on the small of Alex back, planning to leave it there for the whole of the walk. They head out towards the park, both mulling over what Alex just said.
If walking the dog was 'first', then what would be 'second'?