I am Not Them

Enough to get here ...

As always, I always wait for Oman when I come home from school. At the school gate I used to stand waiting for Oman on his motorcycle, coming out of the school parking environment. I looked around, nothing caught my attention. I kicked the gravel under my feet, to get rid of the saturation in waiting

"Bruumm ... bruum..bruumm ..."

Suddenly I heard a motorcycle in front of me ... I thought Oman was in front of me ... but, after I saw it ... it turned out he was ...

"Anjani, I'll take you home huh ..."

With a smile on his lips, he offered to drive me home ...

I could only stand still and see his face ... at least I gave him an answer. but this self has just turned away from it, I feel unable. Like my statue in front of him, between wanting and not wanting .... between I want to go with him or leave him. I really don't know what this soul wants ...

"Hoooh .... Hoohss ... Anjani ..!

The breath of Oman, panting, was approaching me.

"How unlucky I must be today! My motorcycle tires went flat! You go home by public transportation ... later if you wait for me, too long!"

I saw the look on Oman's face, panting, talking to me.

For a moment I thought, this is the work of TL5 children, so today he has the intention to take me home from school. Even though he knows that I go home and go every day, always with Oman.

"Hhhmmmm ... OK! Oman, I'll go home first, you can't cry, people here will get damaged ears because of your voice later".

I answered Oman with a joke. actually I feel bad seeing Oman, because when he is difficult I am not with him. But he is a boy, so he must be independent

hehehheheheheh ... let it be called a cruel friend. but to me Oman is my best friend.

"Yes, go ... be careful on the way ..."

Oman also said while leaving me. It seems that Oman doesn't know that on my left is this TL5 child.

Without a word, I walked away this boy because I did not want to go along with him, who had been waiting for me to go home with him.

Unable to resist these eyes seeing him, I continued walking with my eyes turned away from him.

"Anjani ..., just this once, let me take you home ... I want it ... please ... for this time ... Anjani"

I stopped when I heard the request and the accent of changing his words from him. Honestly, I don't think I can refuse it, plus the curiosity I want to ask him.

With a flat look in my eyes ... and reflexively I rode his motorcycle and sat on the pillion.

"Anjani ... thank you ..."

He smiled at me and finally the motor was running with the wind blowing. Along the way I did not understand and did not hear anything he said to me. Because what is most important to me, I have to go home on time.

I don't care what he really wants from me, because I've tried to throw it all away. I do not want myself to enter into a story that is not the time for me to feel everything. I don't want to be like those who end up crying and hurting just because of obscure love.

I am not them, do not compare me with them. even though I know my age is the most beautiful period, to know love. Hmmmm ... teenage love is just a romance ragged love. hahahahahaha ....

I laughed in my reverie. Remembering all the questions and answers raging in my heart.

Suddenly the motor stopped right in front of my house. My eyes bulged, shock enveloped my soul ... How does he know my home address? it felt like during the trip, I didn't talk to him ... and this ... this is the first time he took me home ...

"Anjani, I have arrived ... your arms are too tight ... even though I did not speed up ...!

"Gosh ...!"

My arms hugged involuntarily to his body. This red and embarrassed face is in front of him. Apparently I did one stupid thing to him. I hurried down from the motorbike and didn't forget I thanked him.

Then I ran in. I no longer know what my face is like or how my soul feels. During this time I always tried ...

I have tried to brag about this. I have tried to throw it away from my mind, so that I do not fall. But today, I committed a stupidity that I never thought and planned.

"Anjani ... I'll be home, thanks for now ...!"

The man's voice stopped me when this leg was about to enter my house. I turned my body and I saw it away from my sight. What is the meaning that is raging in this soul. this time I really could not control my emotions.

"Hiks... Hiks ... Hiks ..." suddenly ...

I heard the sound of crying from the direction of mama's room ...

"Why Ma ...? Why are you crying? What's the matter?"

I sat next to my mother and held Mama's hand, I tried to ask.

"Answer Anjani ma, why are you crying?"

Actually I know the reason why you cry, because you are like this, not for the first time. This has happened since 5 years ago, when she saw my father making out with other women.

"Anjani ... Biarksn is just Mama, I hope you never feel what Mama is feeling right now. Hopefully you can see which works best for you. "

Mama hugged me, Mom's words and words are already so familiar to my ears.

I wanted to burn all of my father's clothes, and expel him so that I would not go home again. this house.

But I can't, because mama is always waiting and hoping daddy comes home. in my eyes mama is the best mother, even though she is hurt but she always answers with kindness and gentleness.

"Maa ... never mind, Anjani doesn't want to see mama cry again. Anjani promised ma, graduating from this school, Anjani will take mama from this house.

Let's go to a new place, Ok! Anjani will work for our lives, stay healthy Ma and always pray yes ma ... "

I wiped tears from Mama's cheeks, and for the umpteenth time, I also said to Mama with the same sentence. and also the same situation.

"Ma ... take a break now, Anjani go back to the room first, and prepare lunch for us, ma ..."

I stroked mama's shoulder, and I went to my room.

I left and I left my mother alone in my room, I always hoped that Mama knew what I wanted. I'm actually already fed up with all your behavior, because for the umpteenth time you do this to mama,

I want to shout to God and I ask, why is my mama's life always like this. But it hit me, who am I ....! and finally I will throw myself in my bed. My tears trickle down this cheek, and even this hatred is present again in this soul. This is the main reason why I shut down so that I don't fall like mama.

I closed this soul and eyes for one person in my life.

I hate and I do not care. I try to continue to be cold like ice that does not expect to melt.

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