Losing Sense

Playlist for This Chapter: Miracle by the Score, The Great War by Taylor Swift.

* NICHOLAS *

When my eyes opened, I wasn't in the hospital. I stared at the ceiling a bit before getting up. That's when the weight of it all crashed on me.

She might be gone tomorrow. Forever.

It was night and I walked to the small refrigerator in the room and pulled out all the bottles of alcohol I could find. I crashed on the floor, leaning against the side of the bed and took a long swig from the bottle.

I drank, and drank, and drank until I didn't remember my own name. But I still remembered her. I remember her name. Her face. Her touches, her kisses, her scent, everything.

I closed my eyes as the hot tears fell down my cheeks and threw the bottle on the wall and saw it shatter and fall to the floor. Her blood was still on my hands.

Her scent still lingered in the air. I could still feel her soft lips on mine. Her fragile fingers running down my chest, her hands in my hair, her smile as she kissed me. Every fucking thing was branded into my brain.

I went to the bathroom, standing in the shower with my clothes still on as the water dripped down my body. Red water pooled around my feet as her blood washed away from my hands and my clothes.

I cried, more than I ever have in my life. I didn't cry at my father's funeral. Or at my mother's funeral. Or at my sister's funeral. But I couldn't stop now.

It was like all the emotions over the years released now. A dam had been broken, and it wasn't stopping any time soon.

I changed, wore my grey suit and lit a cigarette, inhaling deeply till my eyes watered and I started a coughing fit and fell to the floor, coughing wildly.

I screamed, grabbing her things and throwing them across the room. Her perfumes shattered, her clothes torn, her phone broken.

I fell to the floor with my head in hands when the door to my room opened and someone came rushing in.

"Oh my boy... It'll be alright. Everything will be fine.. Don't worry... She'll be back in no time." I heard Richard's voice but ignored him, getting up from the floor with the little strength I had in me, picking up my keys and driving off into the night.

I had no idea where I was going, but I stopped in front of my club. The same one I came with Dove and the others a few days ago. I got out, giving my keys to the valet and walked inside.

I sat in the same booth I sat with her when I watched her drink with Jake, then dance with everyone else... And then me. I clutched my glass tighter, drowning my drink in one go, burning my throat.

Girls flocked around me but I didn't say anything to them. But when they touched me, tried to kiss me, or sit in my lap, I pushed them off.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" I shouted at the two girls who were trying to get their way with me.

"We-we were only giving you a good time.." One of them stuttered and I glared at them.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" I shouted and they both paled and ran off.

No one can touch my body except her. No one can kiss me except her. I was hers. No one else's. I kept drinking until I could see two of everything.

Jake and Matteo suddenly appeared and from the looks on their faces, I could tell they were pissed.

"The fuck are you doing here Nicholas?!" Jake shouted and I glared at him.

"Don't fucking use that tone on me." I hissed at him and he rolled his eyes.

"Ace I didn't expect this from you man. Come on, everyone's waiting for you at the hospital. You need to be there." Matteo said and I scoffed.

"Why am I needed there? So someone else can die on me again?" I said sarcastically and they both looked at each other for a brief second before coming over to me and picking me up.

I struggled a bit in their hold and pushed them off.

"I can fucking walk. No need to fucking carry me." I gritted out and they let go of me.

We went to my car and Jake drove with me to the hospital while Matteo followed behind. I leaned my head on the headrest and closed my eyes to focus on anything but her. Any fucking thing but her.

"We have a rat on the inside." Jake said after a while and my eyes shot open. I looked at him carefully.

"Spit it out." I gritted and he sighed.

"Someone's been tipping off Giovanni. They knew Adrianna and Dove were going out today." He said and I frowned.

"But they didn't plan on eating at that specific restaurant." I said and Jake nodded.

"Adrianna posted a photo on her socials... It gave away the location." He said and I clenched my fists.

"It's either that they were already following them but security around them was tight. Or someone following Adrianna on her socials is the rat." I said and Jake nodded.

"Check her socials. I want every person investigated. I don't care who is it is or how loyal they are, I want every fucking person investigated." I said and Jake nodded.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes.

"We'll find the tipper Ace. I'll do it if it's the last thing I do." Jake said with determination and I hummed in response.

Jake's phone ringed and he picked it up. He sat straighter and accelerated suddenly.

"We're on our way." He said and hung up, looking at me.

"It was Stuart. The surgery's done. But the doctors won't say anything because they're not family relations." He said.

"Then who the fuck will they talk to?" I hissed and he looked at me.

"Her name was entered as Dove King... as your wife, so they'll speak to you only." He said and I nodded, telling him to go faster.

My heartbeat quickened as the car screeched to a stop in front of the hospital and I saw the security outside, all our men standing and guarding.

"I called maximum security for her protection. For all we know the rat could be from our family." Jake said.

"Good." I told him and got out of the car, running inside the hospital and saw my men standing in every place, every floor, and the floor which Dove was on had been evacuated so it was only our family here.

I ran to the others, my heart drumming in my ears as I composed myself and walked over to the doctors in their surgery uniforms.

"Mr. King? Are you Dove King's husband?" The senior doctor looked up from his clipboard and I nodded and shook his hand.

"Doctor Gabriel." I said and he nodded. "How is she?" I asked.

"We have successfully removed the bullets, all three of them. But the damage is quite severe and a lot of blood was lost. We have shifted her to the ICU for now, are still keeping check on her vitals which are, I'm sorry to say, not steady. Although there is chance for survival, it is very less." He said and my blood grew cold.

No.

"Will she... will she live?" I asked him and he sighed.

"We're not sure. She is in a coma right now, and now it's up to her to fight for her life. She has done remarkably well up till now, let's hope it stays that way."

"H-how long till she wakes up?" I asked and he thought for moment before answering.

"If she doesn't wake till the end f this month, which is in three weeks from now, I'm afraid she won't be able to survive. It is ample time to heal so hopefully she'll wake up." He said and I deflated, a forlorn look on my face as Stuart thanked the doctor and they walked away.

I tuned everyone out, sitting on the benches automatically while people patted my shoulder and told me comforting words, but I didn't hear any of it.

She has three weeks to live. Three fucking weeks.

"Ace." Jake came to sit beside me and I looked at him briefly.

"I know this isn't the best time but... we have to tell her family." He said and I realized we still had to do that.

Shit.

"Yes... Prepare first class tickets for all of them and arrange hotel rooms and everything. Call them and tell them the situation, but don't tell them she has three weeks... Tell them the doctors said she's fine and she'll wake up when she's fully healed, and it may take some time." I told Jake who nodded and left.

"Ace, you can see her now." Stuart said and I nodded and shot out of my seat and ran to her private room. I took a deep breath before opening her door and went in.

There she lay, all types of tubes attached to her, bruises on her face, a bandage around her forehead and an oxygen mask on her face. I.V drips were attached to her and she was sickly pale.

The monitors beside her beeped and I watched her heartbeat line hitch every now and then.

She could die any second. No, she'll live. I know it.

Her hair looked dead and her nails were partially blue. I took her soft hands and caressed her skin gently and saw the tear drop that fell on her hands from my eyes.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and kissed her forehead, settling on the seat beside her bed. I kept her hand in mine, her cold skin with my warm one as I lay my head on the bed as I watched her struggle take labored breaths and fight to live.

I'll make it all right my love. I refuse to let you go.