Chapter 46: Forget

ALEX' POV

The door clacked as Sunny finally leaves.

“Alex.”

I trained my gaze in Bree’s direction. There was a light crease on her forehead, her lips forming a thin line.

“I can’t.” I know how she must be disappointed in me but I can’t talk to Sunny as I promised. I cannot do it just yet.

“Why?”

“I don’t know what to say. Where do I start? Do you think she would ever believe me? After the - the article was posted. I FUCKED UP the first time! Then this happens and you-you got…I-I can’t.”

I exhaled as my shoulders droop low. My head is just messed up right now, I don’t even want to think about all of it.

A smile ghosted Breana’s lips as she cocks an eyebrow.

“You find this amusing?”

“A bit. You were blabbering.” She bits her lip. “You’re really whipped for her, aren’t you?” She teases.

“If you weren’t injured, I’d be kicking your ass now.” I fake-threat. Her mood recovered that fast?

“See! You always sound confident when its someone or something else but when it’s Sunny, you clam up. Gosh, such a simp for Sunny.” Bree giggles.

“Okay, okay. I admit it. Stop it already.” It’s the truth anyway. It was futile to attempt to deny it.

Bree cleared her throat. Her expression changes into seriousness. “You see, we both made the people we really care about misunderstood us because we didn’t tell how we felt.”

She looks melancholic as she stares straight on the ceiling. “That which is not said, does not exist. That’s how it is sometimes so just tell her how you feel. How you truly feel. Okay?” She looks back.

I smile and nod at her.

“Then, what are you still standing there for? Go get your girl!” She encourages.

“You know, for someone who is younger, you are truly insightful more than me. As an exchange for your helpful advice, I’ll tell you mine.”

“Oh. What is it?” She eyes me curiously.

“You should listen to yourself and do exactly as what you say too. I know you also get the shaky knees for a specific girl.” I smirked as she pulls the blanket over the half of her face to hide in embarrassment.

I know it’s not that deep yet, what she feels for Ari but it’s there.

“Hmp. Go already.” She shoos.

It was my cue to leave. I ran outside to look for ‘my girl’ as Bree puts it.

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MITCHELLE/SUNNY'S POV

“Mitchelle.”

The voice behind repeated.

I slowly turned to its source. I didn’t let on that I was eager to know her words, her thoughts, and her feelings. My mind flooding with questions, one after another.

She stood in front of me awkwardly, shifting her wait from one foot to the other. She gulps.

“Uhh…umm…I uh, Mitchelle, I uh…Sunny….” She is stuttering.

“Why?” I asked her. I think is better if I’ll just ask her questions since this seems to be difficult for her to start.

“W-Why what?” She looks at me confused. May be there’s just too much to ask why that I’d need to elaborate my question.

“Why did you kiss me, Alex?”

She fiddles with her fingers. Her eyes alternating between looking at me and at her hands.

Just tell me.

“Because I…I…” She stops. She released a heavy sigh. She can’t tell me.

“Why did you kiss Breana then?” It wasn’t my place to ask. I’m not her girlfriend or anything but this would also answer the first question I asked.

Her eyes snap back to me. “I did n-“

“The pictures tell otherwise.” I cut her off.

She slowly shakes her head. The look of regret evident in her face.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers.

Now we’re back to square one.

“What are you sorry for?!” I snap. I’m so annoyed and frustrated at how she keeps me at a distance like I’m a stranger to her, keeping all to herself.

“I’m sorry…I kissed you. I-I got carried away.” She looks down on the floor.

Lies. I know you enough to know when your eyes are lying.

“Please. Just forget about it.” She added.

I scoffed at her.

How am I supposed to forget it? For days, I haven’t stopped thinking about it. I haven’t been sleeping well, eating well. I was so conflicted on how I felt about it. You made me question myself. I tried denying it but it was of no use. The thought of loving you still invades my thoughts. Aside from the fact of it being out of the society’s norms, I was scared. I’m still scared but I thought if you’ll say you’re in this with me then I’d be willing to risk it.

BUT. You apologized as if it was a mistake. You want me to forget.

“Mitchelle.”

I snapped out from my thoughts to a distressed-looking Alex. She’s eyeing me worriedly.

I am starting to get confused when I realize I am crying. I wasn’t sobbing, only there were tears freeing themselves from my eyes.

Alex steps forward, her hands reaching for me. I took a step back.

“Don’t.” I told her off. She freezes in her spot. Her hand dropping on her side.

I don’t want her to give me an affectionate action only to be told to forget it. I don’t want her to confuse me with her ambiguity only for her to apologize for it. I don’t want to expect from her anymore. I don’t want to be disappointed anymore. So Alex, don’t make me.

“I’ll forgive you but I can’t go back to how we were.” I turned around, leaving her and my hope.

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P.S. Rest assured, I won't abandon this book. Thank you for waiting and staying with this one.