Chapter Fourteen

Whitney's pov

I looked at myself in the mirror staring at the reflection of the person staring back at me. I had dyed my hair black with some strands of blue just like Rica liked her hair done. I sadly smiled at the reflection in the mirror trying to cheer myself up. Any doubt I had of Rica's death would be confirmed since it was her funeral today. I had convinced myself that Rica wasn't dead she was just playing some sick prank on me to get back at me for faking my death. I was feeling rather confident that she was faking it but something deep down kept nagging me and telling me that I was lying to myself. I pushed away the thoughts in my mind and looked at the black dress I was to wear. It was a short strapless dress that was fitting at the top and when it reached at my waist it was loose. It reached just below my knees, I was to pair it with black ankle boots that sparkled with some bit of silver. I had never worn a dress before but since I had grown my hair long and decided to keep it that way. I admired the way Rica had walked with elegance putting her chin up and showing the world who was boss. Maybe it was because of her blue black hair or because she was a multi-billionaires daughter or her pragmatic personality I could never tell. She was one of those rich kids who never bragged about having so much money that you would not know what to do with it. It felt right for me to dye my hair like her's and just maybe wherever she was if she was dead she would know that I was really sorry for faking my death to get away from her. I never loved her and I hope she could forgive me for not saying it while it counted. At the beach where I had shamelessly said I was in love with her it was just because I was high and drunk but how could I tell her that I didn't truly love her when all she thought about was me. Her unrequited love had begun that night when I got to satisfy my lust and test my experiment of how it will feel to be intimate with a girl. I'm sure if she found out the real reason why I had slept with her that night at the beach she would be truly angry with me but she was no longer there probably maybe dead but I was find out in two hours. I looked myself in the mirror one last time and decided it was time for me to rest assured if my doubt will be confirmed or not and if not then may Rica forgive me for thinking she would stoop to low like I did for faking my own death. It was unfair for an honest person like Rica to fall in love with a sly and cunning person like me who cared about no one else's happiness except mine. I had grown up knowing that nobody would ever love me like I would love myself my parents were always so busy with their work to even look after me. But when I met Rica all of those things changed she was so kind to me loved me when all my family members never gave a crap about me that's why I was afraid that if I opened my heart to her and loved her she would probably leave me and I would be alone with no one to care for me anymore and no one to worry about me. Amidst all the fear deep in my heart I knew I craved to see her smile to look at her honey brown eyes and to feel her say the words I never felt in my life but she always showed me they existed that she loved me and she would never leave me. I took my car keys and walked out of the house letting the thoughts fleet in my mind and my heart to to be prepared for the worst. As she always told me that be prepared for the best and expect the worst and for now I had to prepare my heart for the worst and hoping to expect the best. I got into my car and drove down the street into the busy highway finding my way to the Delion's mansion. I kept going back to the memories that we shared together as if time would stop and I would go back to the past and amend my mistakes. If I did go back I would say yes to her when she asked me to go out with her. I would say yes that indeed I loved her that our relationship was not a fake that I enjoyed her touch that I enjoyed her kisses that I will give in to her love and I would touch her to kiss her to and if given the chance I would do something I never did before make the first move and make love to her because I loved her but she never knew that I said it once just because it was in the spur of the moment but deep down I loved her from day one and I would till the end. If not for May seducing me all the time I wouldn't have given in and had sex with her. I regretted ever being in a relationship with that girl where she just ruined everything and every single chance I had at loving Rica. Everything I thought was a lie and I knew no matter what I said to myself my heart was never hers. I hadn't realized the tears rolling down my face until they fell on my dress and sparkled in the light.The drive to the house took longer than expected because I cried until I couldn't do it anymore. I had lost the love of my life forever if her death was fake then she wouldn't want to be with me after what I did but if she was truly gone then I lost her for life.