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Flowery Bastard Winning at Life

Man reincarnated in DxD as Merlin's descendent. "What do you mean original Merlin was a respectable wizard?!" Merlin said as he took a puff out of his Divine Blunt. Infrequent Updates since I am writing as inspiration comes. 7(?) Girls Harem(One for each day!), Non-Violent MC, OP Powers, Essence CYOA, What Romance?.

TurkishJesus · Tranh châm biếm
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47 Chs

Chapter 11

"So, I am guessing that there's more to it than just meeting Serafall?" I ask Tiamat.

We are traveling to Satan's office in the capital city of Devils. I didn't even bother with its name I bet it starts with Luci or something.

I insisted on walking there, no doubt that Devils are watching from street cameras or something similar, I would expect something like that from Ajuka.

This will show them waking me up in the middle of the night and how petty I can be, also I can take my time with Tiamat's hand.

Yes, we're holding hands in public! How shameless!

"Well, Grayfia might be there as well just in case something happens, I am not trusted by Satans as much as people think." She giggles at the thought.

"Pfft like Grayfia can take you on." I join her in laughter.

"It is all about implication my dear, they're actually being pretty patient since they don't know you were high as a kite when the incident happened."

"I am quite cognizant even after smoking that thank you very much." I defend my only salvation against the enemy called migraine.

It has been getting worse since my senses get sharper as I get stronger.

""Sure..."" I shoot a betrayed look at Angelica who didn't mind it and kept moving behind us.

"So dear, are you planning on hitting on a Satan and a wife of another Satan?"

"I hate NTR so no." I frown at the idea, I have Anti-NTR protection from the essence it is only fair that I don't steal anyone's wife.

[Harem Protagonist:

-Achievement Unlocked: Hardest Decision. (Give up on Grayfia)

+Due to your Anti-NTR views, your charms won't work on a married woman instead they will see you as a brother figure or will try to adopt you into their family. (Ghosts are not included *wink*)]

WTF!

"I see, what about Serafall?"

"Unlike the contrary belief, I don't sleep with every woman I meet."

I declare with a straight face while trying to ignore that is exactly what happened so far.

""Sure...""

"Who's side are you on Angelica?" I can't help but ask.

"Master's side of course." I would have believed her if not for her grin.

...

We finally arrived and got escorted to Serafall's room. Getting inside I can see her going through papers with a forced smile on her face.

I guess she decided to do other work while waiting on us. Grayfia is on the other hand is standing (looming) behind her without any emotions on her face.

I can kinda guess that Grayfia has been making Serafall work while waiting.

Seeing us come in Grayfia received us and served some tea with Angelica helping her while Serafall finished the paper in her hand.

Well, she's not wearing her Magical Girl costume. So this is serious for them.

"First of all, I would like to welcome you to underworld Merlin." Serafall beams a smile at me.

"It would have been better if it was at a proper hour instead of the middle of the night." I answer making her brows twitch.

While she's a waifu, it takes me hours before I can sleep due to my migraine and I was woken up from my sweet sleep.

"Moving on, I am sure Lady Tiamat informed you about what this is about but I will repeat. We are here to talk about the poisoning of an ultimate class devil."

"He was the one that ignored the obvious warning signs I placed for people."

"Lord Mephisto Pheles was hospitalized, doctors said it was a vicious poison that attacked both mind and body." Serafall's smile vanishes.

"That doesn't matter to me, if he had followed some simple rules he would be fine." I argue.

"He keeps talking about evil Gundam gods!" Serafall snaps looking frustrated.

"Damn, are you sure he's not getting visions from the future?" I ask since that pretty much explains ExE antagonists.

There might be more to that drug than I thought or he is just delusional.

"Merlin, that is not the problem here. After the test results, we came to conclusions that..."

"That I like my weed to be holy attributed and twice blessed." I finished for her.

"Sorry, but what does that have to do with this?"

"He must have come by while I was smoking and got hit by the smoke, I guess my supplier wasn't lying when he said that stuff kills."

"That thing nearly killed a powerful devil it can't just be the weed."

"There!" I slam the last blunt on my person, devils visibly recoil from the holy power packed in that thing.

"Great devil!" Serafall exclaims, I can see a twitch on Grayfia's lips.

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a pure-hearted saint to bless joints?"

There was a pregnant silence before it was broken by a shutter noise.

Turning my head I see Tiamat taking photos of Serafall and Grayfia.

"So, Tiamat wasn't lying when she said, Holy Blunt?" Serafall asks herself.

"Hhmp! When did you see me lie little girl."

"Sorry, but where did you get this?"

"Never heard of snitches get stitches?" I grin.

"Urghh! Was it Heaven?"

"I literally ran from their facility."

"Grigori?"

"I hate NTR."

"So it's not them either... Fine! Keep it secret!"

...

I don't know when but we suddenly solved the whole mystery about the Holy Blunt deal.

Currently, I am arguing with Tiamat and Serafall about the superiority of thighs over breasts and asses.

Tiamat is defending breasts due to being a mother goddess but I didn't expect Serafall to be an ass type of girl.

I turn to see two maids fondly speaking to each other. It seems Angelica has been asking for advice(maidvice?) from the more experienced maid.

No doubt Grayfia is fishing for information but that's fine, Angelica knows how much she can reveal.

I raised an eyebrow to her but she just nodded with a serious expression making me shot a dirty look at Grayfia for tainting my expressive maid.

At least she refused to look me in the eye and I could see some redness on her cheeks.

...

We finally left Satan's office, I can finally go back home and try to knock myself back to sleep...

"Merlin? Do you have time after this?" Tiamat asks she is fidgeting.

"Yes, what happened?"

"It's been a year since I became your familiar, I was thinking how you never took me out on a date..." What does that have to do with being familiar wasn't said of course.

"You have limited time due to your job as a referee and whenever you came you end up passing out while trying to outlast me. It's not that I didn't want to take you out." I reply and sigh seeing her turn her head to the side with a guilty expression.

"I have never been defeated at bed you can't blame me for keep trying!" She did that intentionally.

Serafall can hear us from here...

"Well, if you want a date then I'll take you."

"Well, then let's go on a date!" She grabs my hand and starts dragging me.

Luckily we are right in the capital, we spend some time buying clothes for me after Angelica sold me out and said I only own PJs and no other clothes.

I have self-cleaning magic clothes why do I need more?

We went to a movie then promptly left after the first 30 minutes of it.

I can understand why did Oppai Dragon became popular, they don't have anything better!

After some walking around the park and some quickies in a love hotel with both girls Tiamat left with a satisfied smile and I finally got home (workshop) and slept.