Chapter 2

I feel my body jolt up instantly, and I gasp for breath. Chills break out across my body, and this tingling sensation begins from my arms down until my body seizes. I can feel myself starting to lose control. I try to control my thoughts by remembering my most cherished memory with Daniel.

The day he got on one knee in front of this beautiful rose arch with lights all around, the sunset looking over all the trees, and the endless grass. He looked into my eyes as he asked if I'd marry him. Of course, I said yes; there is no other person with whom I would want to go on this life journey.

Once I come to, I smile, cherishing those times with him. I look around, blinded by the sun's rays shining through my curtains, and realize I was dreaming about what happened that day. Once the night falls upon me, I have these night terrors reliving Daniel's passing over and over again. I wish I could see him one more time.

I grab my phone off my nightstand and check the time. I have to get ready today for Daniel's funeral. His family wanted a small funeral for all the people he loved and the people who loved him. My heart aches tremendously. I won't be able to receive his hugs or kisses or hear his voice ever again. I wish to have one more moment with him, but that wouldn't be enough. I need him like I need my next breath of air, like water, to survive. 

I stumble out of bed like a drunkard before I fall; I gain my footing. I look around my room and see all the trash, clothes, and bags strewn on the floor. I'll clean that later, but I know I'm not just like yesterday and the day before. I can't bring myself to do anything. I pray for strength to do more than the day before every day. I walk to my bathroom and start to get ready. Once out of the shower, I walk to my closet and grab the last dress he bought me in Paris. It's not black, and I know he would want me to wear something colorful, like the shadow of the person I used to be.

I call an Uber so I don't have to drive, and once I arrive at the funeral, everything becomes unbearable, but I push through. I'm listening to the speeches and waiting for them to end; it's too painful. I decided early on, when planning his funeral, not to say a speech. I wanted to talk to him when it was just me and him, something unique and only between us.

I feel this dripping wetness on my cheeks and realize I can't control my tears now. I feel like I'm being punished and don't deserve it. There is this hollowness in my chest, and nothing can help it. I need to get a grip. I have to for him. The speeches are done, and now all his family and close friends stand in silence, looking at his tombstone. I feel the lightest touch on my hand and look at the hand squeezing my hand. I looked to find its owner and realized it was Ashley's hand. I give her a nod to show my appreciation for her giving me my space.

I know I haven't been her most excellent friend, not only to her but also to my family and other friends. I shut everyone out. I became a shell of the person I used to be. She came today, and that's all that matters. I know she'll always show up when I need her the most. I'm taking this time to feel everything because I will start a new chapter of my life once I leave. I look up from the tombstone and see everyone leaving. It's just me and Ashley now.

"Hey, I'm going to wait in the car for you. I'll give you space to say your peace. I'm here for you," she says.

"Thank you, you're the best!"

"I know I am; that's why you love me."

She looked at me, shocked, and I realized I had just laughed for the first time in a long time. She looked at me and then walked away. I looked up at the sun and felt the sun's rays beam down on me, my skin glistening. I smiled, just thinking it was him hugging me.

"Most people don't get a love like we had. I'm going always to cherish the moments you gave me. You want me to move on with my life, so I will do that. After today, I decided I wouldn't visit you. I'm going to look forward and not backward. It'll be too painful to come back here. I won't be able to move forward coming here, but you'll always be in my heart. I love you, Daniel Prescott."

After saying my peace, I leave feeling lighter than before. I walk to the car, and my best friend immediately gives me a hug that I genuinely need. 

"Hey, do you ever wonder if he's out there somewhere? The police never recovered a body. Even though this is his funeral, I have just a little hope that maybe he's out there somewhere."

"Maybe he is, or maybe he isn't, but you can't let it consume you, or it'll crush you. I wish I had my best friend back—the carefree and free one."

"I know that's why I decided today will be the only day I come here. I must move on with life, or life will pass me by. Thank you for always being here for me when I haven't been the greatest person."

"Stop apologizing. I know you're going through a hard time. How about we go to a club tonight so you can let loose."

"I don't know about that. I have nothing to wear to the club, and I'm not exactly in a clubbing mood."

"Please, just tonight, and I won't drag you anywhere unless you want to go. You can wear that little black dress you always wanted to wear." 

"Okay, fine, we'll just go clubbing tonight. What club are we going to?"

"It's a new club called Club Obsidian, and everyone wants to be here. But I know the security, so we must walk to the front, and they'll let us in."

"Okay, let's go get ready at your place."

We head to Ashley's condo and start to get ready. She decides to do my hair and makeup. I put the dress on and the jewelry she gave me. I walk out, and she starts jumping excitedly.

"Oh my! If I were a man, I would go for you. You look scorching. Did you look at yourself in the mirror? It has been a while since I've seen you dressed up this way. She's back!"

"That's cause you have good taste." I feel my body shaking from laughing. I turn around to the mirror and look at myself. She wasn't lying when she said I look good.

"Tonight, we're going to have fun and get drunk."

"Ashley, I am not getting drunk."

"We'll see; now let's go."

We get to the club, and a line surrounds the building. She told me everybody wanted to get into this club, but I didn't believe it would be like this. She guides us to the front of the line and smiles at the security. I can hear girls grumbling that we're cutting the line. If Ashley heard, she's not paying any mind. She hugged the security and said something to do them. They opened the rope and let us in. 

Once in, we go straight to the bar. She orders eight shots for us. We each down four and go straight to the dance floor. I start swaying my hips, getting lost in the music and dancing with her, our bodies in tune. I let loose, thoroughly enjoying my time with her. Halfway through, I'm exhausted and need to sit. I tell her I'm going to the bar.

I sit at the bar and order another shot. While I'm sitting, I feel this intense staring. I turn toward where I feel it and look at the second floor. I see a mysterious man sitting there with a mask on his face, just looking at me, not taking his eyes off me for one second. I turn back around and get the drink from the bartender. I turn back around, raise my glass to him, and smile.