Chapter 18

The bright lights welcomed my eyes in the hospital room. They were really bright so I squinted for a while until I got used to the brightness.

"How are you feeling, Samantha?" A soothing voice came from my right side. I looked up and found a beautiful doctor cheking my IV.

"I'm good" I mumbled. She pulled a chair next to my bed and sat down. She was truly beautiful. She couldn't be older than thirty.

"I'm doctor Akimoto. You have fainted and your friends brought you here." I was just staring at her without saying a word. "You have a case of malnutrition and it is very dangerous especially in your condition."

"My condition?" I finally spoke.

"Your pregnancy." She stated calmly. I felt a shiver run through my back.

'My what?' My lips couldn't form the right words to ask the doctor.

"You need to eat better, Samantha." Doctor Akimoto resumed. "You also need to avoid stress, it's not good for you nor for the baby."

There it was again. She had said something strange again. 'Baby?' My brain cells were frying one by one trying to fathom the situation I was in. I had tuned the doctor out until she captured my attention again.

"... I also told your guardian."

"My guardian?" I asked.

"Yes, Ichihara Kei."

"Where is he?" I instantly asked.

"He said he had to go, but your friends are outside."

"He had to go." I felt a knot in my stomach but I ignored it.

"Would you like me to call them in?"

"When can I leave doctor?" I asked ignoring her question.

"Actually you can leave anytime you want."

"Like now?" She was a little shocked but then she smiled.

"Sure."

The doctor helped me take the IV out and walked me to the hallway.

"Take care of yourself, Samantha." She said before leaving me all alone in the hallway.

I rushed to the nearest bathroom and washed my face a few times. I looked in the mirror at my reflection.

"What the hell am I going to do?" I asked my scared reflection who seemed to not have an answer either.

When I finally found the courage to get out of the bathroom, I looked for my friends and found them sitting in the waiting area. Yoko saw me first and ran to me taking me in her arms.

"Oh my God Sam, you scared us. Are you feeling ok? What happened? What did the doctor say?"

"Shh..." I said as I hugged her back. "I'm ok, it was just some malnutrition crap. It's not a big deal."

"Well obviously it is since you fainted." Jiro came to stand next to us.

"I promise, I'm fine. Let's go home, shall we?" Jiro pressed his lips together but didn't say anything.

On the way to the house, I made Jiro promise not to tell his parents about my fainting. He accepted reluctantly.

"You've got to take care of your health, Sam."

"I promise I will."

We finally got home. It was nine thirty. Kei's shoes weren't there, so I figured he wasn't home yet. 'He probably ran as far away from me as he could.' What do you do when you find out you're going to have a baby?

"Hello, kids." Amanda greeted us in the living room. "Are you hungry?"

"I'm starving." I heard myself say.

"Great, I made curry."

I sat with Jiro and I ate to my heart's content. I had three plate of curry with rice. In fact, I didn't even remember eating them. All I remember was the satisfaction I felt at some point. I felt full and happy. When I looked up, I saw Jiro staring at me as if he was watching a rare animal.

"What?"

"Nothing." He blurted as he took his half full plate to the kitchen.

'What is his problem?'

"Amanda, dinner was amazing. Thank you."

"Oh dear, you are the only one who appreciates my cooking around this house. Thank you."

"Oh come on mom, I do too." Jiro protested.

"Well if you do, you don't show it. You never say anything about my cooking."

"Yes I do."

"Maybe you say it in your head and you expect me to read your mind, son."

"Mom!" Jiro sighed.

I started laughing so hard at their bickering, my eyes teared up. I felt something I hadn't felt since I moved here. I was homesick.

"I'm going to take a bath before going to bed."

"Oh yeah, your finals start tomorrow. Good luck dear." Amanda said sweetly.

"Thanks."

I walked upstairs and, after a long bath, I entered my room and lied in bed. As my eyes fixed the ceiling, the realization of my situation hit me. I was pregnant, which meant after a few months a baby would come. I sat up immediately. My heart was beating really fast and my breathing was getting really fast. I pushed to my feet and started pacing back and forth in the room.

"Oh my God." I whispered bringing my hand to my mouth. I needed to talk to Kei. Where was he anyway?

I waited for him still pacing in my room. I heard everyone go to bed, but still no sign of Kei. It was already twelve thirty. I thought about calling him, but I refrained from doing so. 'I'm just going to wait for him here.'

At around two, I heard Kei's steps coming up the stairs; I waited until he was in front of my room to open the door.

"Woh, you scared me, Sam." He slurred. He reeked of alcohol.

"Are you drunk?"

"No... maybe."

"Oh my gosh." I couldn't talk to him while he was like that. "Just... go to bed."

"Good night!" He said.

"Good night." I responded. I was about to close my door when he called my name.

"What's up?" He held my gaze with his shot red eyes. I could clearly see sadness in them.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." He apologized which took me by surprise. "I know I'm an asshole but I never meant to hurt you." He added. "You know how much I love you." I wanted to throw my hands around his neck and kiss him. No, I wanted him to take me in his arms and tell me that everything was going to be alright. Neither of those scenarios happened. I just closed my door and went to bed. I felt so tired all of a sudden. I fell asleep right away.

The next morning, I was freaking out. It was the first day of finals. I hadn't revised the day before and I wasn't confident enough to pass all my tests. I washed my face and my teeth, I wore my school uniform, and I put my hair into a ponytail. I was feeling pretty nauseous, so I thought I'd skip breakfast. When I went downstairs, I found Kei waiting for me at the entrance.

"Good morning." He greeted.

"Were you waiting for me?" I asked softly.

"Yes. Come on let's go." My heart leaped and I felt a smile creep into my face.

We walked to the station in silence. Once in the train, I found myself in the corner while Kei shielded me from the waves of crowds. Just like old times. I sighed in bliss at Kei's smell. There was something so right about this situation. Like that was how things were supposed to be.

We walked to school still in silence. I didn't utter a sound afraid that I would ruin the magic of the moment. Kei didn't speak either. We walked into the classroom.

"Good luck today." He whispered before he left my side to go to his seat. My lips curled up at his cute gesture.

"You too."

The tests took a long day, and I was seriously exhausted at the end of it. English and Math were good, but PE took the last of my energy. I was a little nervous about the activities in PE, but it all went well. I found Kei waiting for me at the school gate after we were done.

"Shall we?" He said and I followed him. Silently but ecstatically. I was almost skipping.

"Can we stop for some crepes?" I asked with a small voice. I was expecting him to refuse.

"Sure." Was all he said. He led the way to a crepes shop and we were shown to a table for two. After we ordered, I looked directly at Kei's face for the first time that day. He had dark circles under his eyes. He looked very tired.

"Kei, can we talk about my... condition?" I asked betting on the calmness that I saw in his eyes.

"Let's do that after we're done with our exams. Deal?" His voice had a certain gentleness to it. It sent out a feeling that everything will be alright. I nodded.

For the next two days, Kei had been the perfect gentleman. The exams went by really smoothly. I could finally focus on them.

'Kei must have felt that he needed to take responsibility.' I smiled to myself imagining having a baby with him. We would get married first, of course. We would take turns taking care of our son or daughter while going to college. I might even take a year or two off before starting university. My heart was filled with happiness.

Like the days before, Kei was waiting for me at the school's gate.

"Hey." I greeted him. "How were your exams?"

"They were alright, I think I screwed up in social studies." He said with a grimace.

"Oh you'll be fine." I smiled and patted his shoulder. His body stiffened and I immediately retrieved my hand.

"Let's go." He started walking ahead of me and I followed.

When we got home, no one was there. I felt such a relief that we were done with exams.

"I'm going to change." I told Kei and went upstairs. I put on some shorts and a T-shirt. I barely put my uniform on a hanger, when I heard a soft knock on my door.

"Yes? Come in." Kei opened the door and looked at me. His eyes were intense.

"Can we talk?"

"Yeah, sure." He closed the door after him and moved my desk chair closer the my bed where I sat down. He stared at me for a moment and then he raked his hand through his hair.

"We need to talk about the baby." He finally spoke.

"Yes." I beamed while I rubbed my stomach with both hands. Kei closed his eyes.

"You need to get rid of it." The words slapped me so hard I froze.

"Excuse me?"

"You can't have this baby." My breath hitched and, unconsciously, my hands squeezed my belly.

"What are you talking about?"

"We are seventeen for God's sake."

"Many people have kids when they are our age."

"Well, I don't want to do that." I looked at him dumbfounded. I felt a ball forming in the back of my throat.

"Are you asking me to kill our baby?" I whispered.

"Sam, having a baby at seventeen will ruin our future."

"Then we change that damn future." He held my eyes for a moment. "Oh you mean your future." His jaw tensed.

'What a fool I have been the last three days.'

"Sam, you can never understand where I'm coming from."

"Try me." I challenged him. He stood from his chair abruptly and walked to the window. He was silent for what felt like an eternity. I waited quietly and patiently for him to start speaking.

"You will never experience having a mother who is foreign and witnessing your dad's family talking shit about her and treating her like garbage. It was right in front of her but they didn't give a damn because she didn't speak Japanese." He sighed. "Whatever I did was never enough for my grandpa, he always saw me as only half a person. Especially after... Tanaka"

I walked to Kei and put my arms around his waist.

"Then let's leave. Let's go back to the US, no one will judge you there. Oh Kei, you are perfect to me." I hugged him but I felt his trembling hands pushing mine.

"I can't do that." He put some distance between us. "I will take over the family business. I will make it better than it has ever been."

"And having a baby will prevent you from doing all of that... Or is it just having a baby with me that is going to do that?" Kei's eyes jolted to mine. I couldn't fight my tears anymore.

"Please try to understand, Sam."

"Why don't YOU try to understand." I yelled. "What have I done to deserve this? I only loved you, Kei." I clenched my fists. "It is not my fault that you are so obsessed with proving your worth to a despicable man who makes his grandson feel like shit."

Kei scratched the back of his head and started walking towards the door.

"My decision is final, Sam." I felt a knife cut through my heart. But I wasn't going to give up that easily.

"Well, this baby is growing inside of ME, so it's MY decision." He stopped with his hand on the doorknob and gave me the coldest look anyone had ever given me.

"I will never forgive you if you keep this baby, Samantha." His words dripping with venom, he left me standing in the middle of my lonely room.