Fifteen Seconds

I saw him.

I could feel his presence, but it all felt more so like an augmented reality than it did a heart wrenching actuality.

The sound of the silence was almost deafening. I couldn't hear at first, but I felt my heart beating still.

My eyes felt dry. It was as though a fan was blowing into them at a mild pace.

Fifteen seconds went by like a small walk in the park. Fifteen seconds felt like a long ride in the car.

(Step)

(Step)

I could feel the footsteps in the vibrations coming from the floor. I wanted to move my head to look, but all I could do was give a small twitch of the fingers.

Then the ringing stopped...

"Well, it seems as though you lied when you said you could be-" The man paused.

He looked down at my face; buried into the floor. The blood coming from my nose and mouth was enough of an indicator for him to realize the poor shape I was in.

(Groan)

I could feel my hands start to go numb at the fingertips. It felt as though my hands were being sunk into water, and I was just frozen there, trying to keep still.

"I'm gonna die-"

(Cough)

"Aren't I." I looked up at the ceiling, subtlety telling myself a prayer in my head whilst doing so.

"Yes. It won't be quick. As per their request, I will let you bleed." He gave me a solemn look. It was as though he almost pitied me.

I counted the amount of times I had seen this ceiling in my head. I counted the amount of times I had seen this same image, but with a different scene.

Fifteen seconds went by like a song on repeat. Fifteen seconds felt like the last moments you get with a dying pet.

"Am I allowed to kill myself? " I asked

"No."

"Will they-" I mustered up the energy to turn my head to the man's boots.

"-be happy now?"

"No." The man walked to the other side of the room. He ruined any small chance I might've had at seeing him.

My feet were gone. My hands were gone. My legs were being buried in the endless cold that was, in my head, the abyss. It crept up my arms like a snake, slowly constricring it's prey till it no longer feels air in its lungs.

I subconsiously accepted my circumstances.

"Can I have the picture?" I asked softly.

"What picture?" The man inquired

"The one in my wallet. It's of my daughter. "

Hypnotic. That was the only word to describe it.

Fifteen seconds went by like a snack at school. Fifteen seconds felt like an instant.

"Cheeky Bastards... "

The more I spoke, the less I burdened my body with useless thoughts. None of my questions would be given any proper statements, but I already knew the answer to them anyways.

At some point, I no longer saw the ceiling, and instead I bore the presence of my own new world. It was dark, and there was nothing there but the thoughts I had with myself.

It was so cold. Frost grew around me, but the sight was never there. It was just cold enough to where I could feel it in my skin.

(Bump)

(Bump)

(Bump)

(Bump)

(Bump)

(Bump)

(Bump)

I wanted to ask why I felt nothing.

Why didn't I feel regrets?

Why was it me?

Fifteen seconds went by like some questions that had nobody to answer them. Fifteen seconds felt like an infinite expanse of space, and time.