Gratitude and Doubts

Flipping the cotton sheets from himself, Chi Cheng carefully laid down his injured leg first off the bed. Avoiding excessive strain while he lowered the other leg, he breathed a sigh of relief; craning his neck slightly to loosen the knots.

"I still can't move it very well…" He shifted his injured leg a bit, tapping it gently on the wooden floor to test whether he could manage walking by himself. "He said the bone is broken but should heal within a few days."

Placing a hand on the bed to support himself as he attempted to lift his weight off the bed, Chi Cheng was alerted to the sound of footsteps outside the room.

"Ah-Ran?" He looked at the door questioningly, awaiting his younger brother's arrival. Listening a little more attentively, he heard the crystal chiming sound; immediately recognising the owner of it.

Startled by the figure who entered the room as he had anticipated, Chi Cheng lost his balance and plopped back down on the bed.

"Where are you going?" The Grandmaster asked, his brows furrowing. Balancing the food tray in one hand, he closed the door behind him with the other and approached Chi Cheng.

"I was trying to walk… '' Looking solemnly defeated by his failed attempts, Chi Cheng sighed again and remained seated. "Why… are you here?" Meeting the Grandmaster's gaze as the older man seated himself on the cushioned stool beside the bed, Chi Cheng fiddled with his fingers on his lap.

"You haven't eaten anything." Han Xuelian laid down the tray of food on the bedside stand, sitting a few inches away from Chi Cheng while he faced him directly. "How are you feeling?"

The sweet sincerity in the Grandmaster's words was enough to place a pleasant smile on Chi Cheng's lips, but remembering that Han Xuelian was staring at him, he quickly concealed his smile behind pressed lips.

"I'm doing much better than I should be." Chi Cheng threaded his hands together. "I have the esteemed healer of the Han clan to thank after all."

Han Xuelian subtly clicked his tongue out of irritation at the mention of his brother. The reaction caught Chi Cheng by surprise, witnessing the Grandmaster brood while he turned his head away.

"But more than that, I owe all my gratitude to you, Grandmaster." Closing his eyes and bowing his head, Chi Cheng expressed his gratitude. "And I also owe you many apologies for the troubles I've caused you."

Curiously observing the guilt evident on Chi Cheng's face, the Grandmaster reached out a hand to run his fingers through the younger male's hair. Shying away from the gesture, Chi Cheng awkwardly looked away.

"I won't hurt you, Chi Cheng." The Grandmaster reassured him with a smile. "Or do you not like being touched by me?"

Leaning into the Grandmaster's touch, Chi Cheng hesitantly averted his gaze.

'Are you still afraid of me?' Han Xuelian combed through the knotted strands of Chi Cheng's hair. 'I really don't understand you, Chi Cheng. You were so bold and confident during the archery test, but you shy away from me now?'

Han Xuelian's fingertips were icy, but the slow, deliberate movements made Chi Cheng relaxed. It made him feel comforted, almost as if he was being lulled to sleep.

'His hair is a mess…' Han Xuelian frowned at the unkempt state of his Cheng's long red, chestnut hair. 'I'll take care of it after he eats.'

Removing his hand from Chi Cheng's hair, the Grandmaster retrieved the food tray which he set on his own lap. Taking the pair of chopsticks, he picked up a slice of fried lotus root that was laid beside a bowl of soup and brought it near Chi Cheng's lips.

Feeling bashful by the sudden gesture, Chi Cheng pressed his lips together tightly. "I… I can eat by myself…"

"Moving your arm will only strain your shoulder."

Chi Cheng didn't understand the nature behind the Grandmaster's gestures, nor the reasons for his considerate actions. He stirred nothing but troubles that were piling over the burdensome tasks of the Grandmaster, so how did Han Xuelian find the time to worry about him?

Or was his kindness simply a facade over the pity he felt for Chi Cheng? Was he so weak and worthless that he needed to be cared for constantly? Did Han Xuelian think he was compensating him for Han Yijun's betrayal and painful actions?

"I'm sure you have more important tasks to take care of," Chi Cheng said bitterly, almost as if he wanted to spite the Grandmaster. "If you're doing this out of guilt for what Han Yijun did, then I don't need it. I don't want your pity; you don't need to worry about that incident. I'll stay out of trouble and out of your way from now on."

'There's that boldness I've been looking for…' Han Xuelian set the chopsticks down. Although he clearly understood the nature behind Chi Cheng's words and the bitterness in his heart, somehow it still irked him to the core that his actions were considered insincere right from the beginning.

It didn't occur to him that his overly fond demeanour around Chi Cheng would come off as uncomfortable to the younger male. Although his actions were purely out of the need to understand Chi Cheng better, he might have been careless with how he did it.

Or did Chi Cheng secretly despise him for being his ex-lover's uncle?

'He's too wary…normally others would figure out much later that there's a motive behind another person's overly kind gestures but you're already questioning the things I do…' Han Xuelian felt a brewing headache at the back of his head, his fingers gripping the food tray more firmly until a dent formed in the iron.

'Have you ever trusted anyone in your life before, Chi Cheng? I'll have to tell him sooner or later that his father sent him here for a different purpose.'

"My nephew's business is his own," Han Xuelian stated firmly, cautioning himself to keep a rein on his anger. "I don't deny that what he did was shameful and despicable, but I never once thought that you were pitiful."

Chi Cheng lifted his head to meet with the Grandmaster's gaze, intensely looking for confirmation in his eyes.

"Whatever I do is out of my own will." Han Xuelian clarified. "I am responsible for all the guest disciples in this sect and you are no different. If it was any other of those juniors, I would have done the same."

Chi Cheng classified the Grandmaster's explanation as logical. It would only make sense for a Grandmaster to undertake the responsibility of his disciples' wellbeing. He thought himself foolish and presumptuous for thinking the Grandmaster had pitied him at all.

"Forgive me." Chi Cheng somberly lowered his head, but a moment later Han Xuelian cupped his face unexpectedly; prompting him to look up.

"You think too much, Chi Cheng." Han Xuelian gave him a comforting smile. "Now, will you please let me feed you?"