Chapter 1: We meet Again

'm now sitting in an empty place. I've been here for almost hours; no one is even here. Some have already left the airport. Some already go home after landing. While me? I'm still waiting that someone will show up. But it's okay anyway. It buys me time to think about how to face my life here again.

Yes, you're right! I'm already in the Philippines. After three years, I finally went back to face my pain.

I closed my eyes and felt the air. Don't even think of getting back to your pain, Kathrina! Just enjoy yourself—just you.

"Ma'am? Ma'am Kathrina?" I gently opened my eyes after I heard its voice. Maybe this is my driver.

I stood up emotionless while he was so excited about my arrival. He cheerfully carries the baggage and walks beside me. I don't have the mood to say even a word.

"Ma'am! The rumor is really true! You are really gorgeous! How's your flight, ma'am? Is France good? Do you live near the aifull tower?" I stopped walking and snobbishly answered.

"It's Eiffel Tower, and I'm tired." He just closed his mouth and opened the car's door for me.

WHEN I arrived home, my maids warmly welcomed me.

"Welcome home, Katia," the main maid, Ms. Fe, said.

Since I was a child, Ms. Fe has been my only family, so we are really comfortable with each other. I call her Ms. Fe since she's the oldest in this house. All other maids become used to it. So, they call her that too instead of a nanny or so whatever.

You might also wonder why they call me Katia instead of Kathrina. Katia is my nickname. My real name is too long, and Kath is too formal. That's why I really prefer to call myself by my nickname. But of course, only those close family can call me that.

I just nodded and smiled at her. I'm about to walk into the house when I suddenly remember the new driver that's still getting my baggage off the car.

"By the way, who's that cheerfully annoying driver? Is he new?" I asked Ms. Fe. I looked away when I saw him approaching us while still carrying the baggage.

"Oh! Yes! One moment! Kenji! A word, please." He's still smiling so big while approaching us. Does his jaw never get tired? His smile has never worn off since we were at the airport.

"He is your new personal driver, Katia."

"Hello, ma'am! I'm Mykel Kenji Reagan. Some calls me Kenji." He slightly bows at me as a sign of his respect. I just smile at him, but suddenly his eyes become as big as his smile now.

He whispered, "she smiled at me!" like an idiot. Does Ms. Fe check his background? I really think he's mentally ill.

I just give them a confused face while walking inside the house again. But I remember something again. So, I asked Ms. Fe.

"How about my temporary assistant? Have you found someone yet?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Kenji answered. Why he's the one answering my question? I just glare at him like saying this is when he should shut up. He just turns around from us. I just rolled my eyes and looked at Ms. Fe.

"Ms. Fe?" I asked again.

"Don't Worry, Katia. I already found someone." Good thing Ms. Fe found someone. I just hope my assistant is quiet and not annoying. I don't want to stress myself out.

"Is she here, Ms. Fe?" I asked while walking inside the house.

"No."

"What? Why? She should be here by now. When she will go here? I don't want us to meet outside. I'm avoiding pain." I metaphorically explained.

"I mean no, as in no, your assistant is not a she." I confusedly look at Ms. Fe.

"So, he's a He?" Ms. Fe nodded.

"So where is he—?"

"Present!" A man shouted while having a hard time carrying the baggage. I randomly wiped my whole face using my bare hand. This is not the warm welcome that I thought.

IT'S been a long flight. I just went straight to my bed. I need my beauty sleep. If I get hurt here, I might as well get hurt pretty.

I'm about to close my eyes when someone knocks on my door.

"Ma'am?"

"Ma'am, are you still awake? You have visitors, ma'am. They asked for you." Argh! Give me a break! I'm exhausted.

"Did you ask who?" I closed my eyes again. I won't sell my beauty sleep.

"I've been told that they are your friend, ma'am! Kaye, Arth, Ronel, and Ear—something, ma'am!"

"Earole?" I said tiredly.

"Yes! Earole, ma'am." It took me seconds to reload my brain. Wait a second!

I swiftly get off the bed and run downstairs.

"Katia!" they all shouted in excitement while approaching me. Since high school, Kaye, Arth, Ronel, and Earole have been one of my best friends. They are my shoulders, my family, and my happiness. They never missed on making me feel my worth.

"Oh my! Guys!" We hugged each other so tight. It's really been a long time.

"How are y'all?!" I asked them while they were just smiling at me.

"How did you know I'm here?" I added.

"What do you take us for? Of course, we'll know!" Ronel answered.

"Anyway, what's happening? Why are you all here?"

"Of course, you just arrived. So…" Kaye excitedly responds. They all look intensely at each other.

"Shot!" they added.

"Our treat! Deal?" Earole always bribed me. Regardless, this is the welcome I'm talking about.

"What's with the bribe? You all know that I can't…." They all look disappointed.

"I can't refuse that!"

"That's what I'm talking about! Let's go!" Arth shouted. I laughed! Hilarious! They are really something.

I indubitably went upstairs and changed my clothes. Then, we all ran off my Lambo and rode straight to the bar. They are all excited.

I felt confused when we arrived. So, I asked, "is this new bar?"

Wait! But this bar is really familiar.

"No! Don't you remember? This is the same bar we always go to. They just make it bigger." That's why I feel weird.

Ronel laughed and said, "I remember so many memories here! Oh! And that dance floor. Hilarious! Earole, remember when we were dancing on that floor, and you just puked out of nowhere at 8pm?"

"You even know the time?" I asked confusedly.

"Yah! I remember the time because I can't believe what happened to Earole; we just got here, took a shot, and Earole puked! And Katia, you even shot the whole bottle consecutively, remember?"

"Oh yeah! I remember that! I laughed so hard when I got home! But of course, I feel bad for Earole. I don't know why Katia drank too much, though," Kaye replied.

"Is that the time when the bouncer came and threw us away?" Arth ironically asked.

"Hey! Y'all are exaggerated! I puke because Katia is shaking my head. She keeps on pulling us, remember?" Earole explained.

"Oh! Yeah! And Katia's weren't there when you puked, right? Where were you that time anyway, Katia? You just poof out of nowhere." I think I know where I am at that time.

I know because it's part of the pain…

"KATIA, you drink too much. That's enough," Kaye stopped me from dancing while Earole was dancing with me.

"I'm not drunk! It's okay! Let's dance! Hooo!" I pulled Kaye and Earole onto the dance floor, but suddenly, someone held my hand and pulled me out of the bar.

"Let go," I softly order him, but he keeps pulling me away from the bar.

"I said let me go!" I shouted and pulled my hands off him. He angrily looked at me.

"Fine. I don't have any rights to do this anyway."

"Exactly! Why do you keep bothering me?" I angrily respond.

"You know you can't drink alcohol that much, remember? We drove you to the hospital last time you drank too much." So, he is concerned?

"So what‽"

"Oh! I'm sorry! I remember, there's never an 'us' anymore," he sarcastically explained. Is that so hard to say that he's concerned?

"I'm sorry, Red! I just really can't refuse my friends." Why are you saying that you're sorry? Don't you have any pride, Kathrina? You came here because you just really wanted to free yourself from pain. But why do you keep pushing yourself to feel it more?

"Can you just inform me if you're going anywhere?" For what? Why should I inform him?

"Why would I‽ You've said it, there's never an 'us' anymore. And even though we're still together, why would I tell you where I am? Did you tell me where you were when you were having fun with your friends for a week and didn't even say a word? I'm also worried, Red! Is that so hard to say a word just to make me assure that you are okay..." He's speechless.

"We are partners, Redxan! We are one! But you always make me feel that I'm no one in your life! You always give me pain, but I stayed! And you didn't—"

"I'm not you!" Those three words mean a thousand words. Why does it hurt? Why does it hurt to hear that he can't give you the same amount of love you offered? Why can't I hurt you, Red? Why I can't say out loud how bad you are. Why can't I shout how much hurt I feel?

"I'm sorry! But that is what I can do. I'm sorry you end up with me," he added.

"You're right! I feel sorry too because I ended up with you, and I'm also sorry for myself because I waited this long to finally realize this," I angrily said.

He gently holds my hand.

"Everything exists because of love, Kathrina. But I am not part of everything. That's why my love for you doesn't exist as well."

I'm looking at the thin air. I felt his hands slipping off mine.

"KATIA! Katia!"

"Hey! Are you drunk already?" Kaye snapped me out of it. Don't flashback your pain, Katia.

"Let's go!" Then she holds my hands again. At least they still want to hold my hands.

"Can we just go to the other bar nearby?" Why do I still feel this way? It's been years.

"This is the bar we always go to. It's like our home, you silly! Let's stay here! Waiter!" Arth excitedly replied and call. I just rolled my eyes. We're not starting yet, but these guys are already looked drunk.

"Wait! Wait! Wait! Why exactly we're here? Except for welcoming me, I know something is going on? Spill it out!" They all looked at each other. They all look sad and empty. I give them what's-going-on look. I noticed that they were all looking at my back which made me turn around as well. What is he doing here? I look at my friends again and act normal. Is this the reason why they brought me here?

"It's okay to you, right?" Kaye asked me. I didn't say a word.

"Yeah! Of course! It's fine with her! It's been years anyway. Hey, Red! Over here!" Earole shouted.

I think he's already walking near us.

"What's up, guys!" He sat beside me without hesitation. I think he didn't know I was here.

"Why did you call me to go hear? What's the occasion—" he stopped talking when he realized I'm beside him. I just smile at him. He also simply smiles back and can't even sink in that I'm here.

Just in time, the waiter cut our awkward look to each other. The waiter recognized him and said something.

"Oh! Red! Is that you? Long time!"

"Fred! My man! How have you been?" they talked casually.

"I'm doing well! I finally got a job here. How about you? Are you now married to Nicole—?"

"Shut it!!" Ronel shouts immediately grabs the waiter's mouth and pulls it away from us.

"Let's go here and talk about our other order. You know what? I'll order you a needle and thread. We'll take care of your mouth—" Ronel ironically said to the waiter while pulling him away. So, he had new? Are they already married?

Music plays.

"I love this song, guys! Let's dance!" I was about to stand up, but they stopped me.

"You don't dance! Stay right there! Let's go, guys!" Then they all went to the dance floor.

What the F! What are they pulling?

Suddenly, he ruined the silence. "How are you?"

"I'm fine! Doing fine," I answered while looking at the bottle in my hand. He just nodded while I simply sipped the vodka.

"Red?" I gently call him. He just looked at me. I don't know why I will ask this, but I'm really dead curious right now.

"You are already happy now, right?" Am I crazy? Why would I ask? He's still just looking at me.

"I can see that you are already happy, and I'm glad you are…." I smiled again. He's quiet.

"That's fine. Don't get me wrong, but I am happy to see you smiling like this. It is really much better if we remain our past as memories…" I added. I'm grateful to see him happy even without me. I'm delighted that he made it through. I don't know why I still feel this, but I'm so jealous of him moving on.

"I remember that day when you told me that you felt something inside you? The empty feeling that you want to fill in? Remember that…?" He just smiled and nodded.

"I just remember it. I just thought that maybe you already found it, and I'm very happy for you…"

"I'm really thankful that you found it when you lost me." I smiled; doesn't want to say a word again.

Red was about to talk when everyone approached us with our drinks and other orders.

"Alright! Here's our drink! Whoa, I'm drooling! I miss getting drunk!" Arth shouted.

They just laugh. The night is young, Katia! You're okay!

I'm okay.

I'm already okay.

I hope I'm okay.

Third person's POV

THEY just laugh, chill, and become wasted like nothing is wrong, and no one will care. They ignored their feelings as if they were really happy and done.

"Yow! Let's go! Ronel and Kaye already left us. Let's go," Earole uttered, drunk.

"We will go first, Red! Take care of Katia, okay?" Then they left immediately. Red is just confused while they leave Katia with him. Red is about to carry Katia when her phone vibrates.

From: Driver

Ma'am! I'm just here at the back of the bar. I park the car here. Just text me when you need me, ma'am. Take care!

He just read the preview of the text. He's about to text the driver back, but her phone has a passcode. So, he carries Katia instead and walks to the parking lot.

While they are walking, Katia talks.

"You know what? You are really an asshole!" Red just looked at her confusedly. Katia is so drunk that she even utters while talking.

"We've been through a lot, and you still have a gut to face me?" Katia uttered, so drunk. Wasted. Then, she laughs.

"Nothing! I just thought about it! It just made me laugh!" she cachinnates and then pushed Red away. Katia just walks zigzagged while Red follows her at her back, listening to her rants.

"What in the world happened? I don't even know why you still have guts. What did I do to deserve this? I just do great things, but why the result is as shit like you?" Red keeps calming her down, but she keeps pushing him away. She's still talking.

"Why I'm still hurting?" She keeps laughing sarcastically.

"Katia, let's go home," Red gently said while holding Katia but Katia refrained from holding his hand.

"Why could you just stay away and respect my feeling? If you already have enough about moving-on. Well, I don't!"

"Katia, we are already done three years ago," Red calmly explained. Katia stopped and looked at him. She pointed at him with anger.

"I know! But f*ck! When I saw you, I feel like those three years are just three days."

"When I saw you, all of the pains I forgot for three years came back just in three seconds..." Katia punched Red's body and kept shouting.

"It all came back just in seconds, you know that!" she kept shouting until she ran out of energy and fainted. Red catches her until someone calls.

"Ma'am Kathrina?" A man shouted.

"Ma'am Kathrina! It's me, Kenji! Let's go, ma'am! You are so drunk."