Omake 1

===

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[[OMAKE!!! 1]]

The Chaldea Security Organization was established to counter a bored king who decided he had enough and aimed to obliterate humanity. I mean, seriously, f*ck humans! Who wouldn't want to exterminate them? Ultron took a mere few hours browsing the internet before concluding that humanity was a lost cause.

Moving on, my boy King Solomon, or rather Goetia, met his end, and peace— Peace? Please, we're talking about the Nasuverse here. The notion of peace, the whole "And so they lived happily ever after," is nothing more than a fairy tale in this context.

Luckily, we've got this clichéd concept known as Plot Armor. It doesn't matter how world-ending, young master-slapping, or powerful in cultivation an enemy might be; they're no match for the unbeatable plot armor.

Beasts? Nah, they're all tucked away in the backroom, only there to be violated occasionally whenever new servants arrive at Chaldea.

And wielding this mighty power is the protagonist of this universe, the bane of every foe and the secret ace of FGO, Ritsuka Fujimaru. Yet, in a twist, this character is female, known as Gudako. She boasts a slender figure, a cute face, and red hair. Despite being around 22, she looks more like she's 16—thanks to plot armor, of course.

So, it's another bright day for our girl. Sleeping in a serene room, she seems to be resting peacefully—

Gudako: Oh Mash, rock my genitals~❤

Scratch that.

Typically, her days are filled with waking up late, (harassing) flirting with her demi-servant friend Mash Kyrielight, casually overpowering world-destroying, reality-bending servants, and farming materials.

However, today, she decides to wake up...

And chooses violence.

Gudako: IMMA FUCKIN' SUMMON A SERVANT!!

She wakes up, freshens up a bit, and dons her signature outfit that slightly accentuates her chest. Then, she leaves her room and heads all the way to the storage room. There, she encounters numerous Elizabeths.

Elizabeth: M-master, is it another singularity? Can we go farming again?!

Elizabeth looks fanatic. Actually, Gudako has already maxed out all the bonds with Elizabeth, but since more useful servants have joined her team, Elizabeth isn't needed anymore. So, she simply left her once-valued servant in storage, hoping that one day she might have a reason to pick her up again.

Gudako: Etto… no.

Elizabeth: *Sniff* why…? How long do I have to wait?

And Elizabeth starts crying. Gudako wants to be honest with Elizabeth, to tell her that she will never be needed again because there are more effective servants now, but she can't bring herself to say it. If it weren't for reaching Bond Level 10 and for the sake of collection, Gudako would have dismissed Elizabeth long ago. After all, Elizabeth has spooked Gudako more than any other servant.

But Gudako knows how to manage her servants. She takes Elizabeth into her arms and gently strokes her face.

Gudako: Oh, Elizabeth, I wish I could take you along to soar through the skies, explore the universe, and battle evil, but I need to save your strength for a more dire catastrophe.

Elizabeth: *Blushes* I-is that so? Well, if there's no other choice...

So easy~!

Gudako: Anyway, I'm here to take all the Saint Quartz.

Elizabeth: Oh, okay. I'll gather them for you.

And so, Elizabeth assists, actually, she alone collects all the Quartz while Gudako stands back, watching, until Elizabeth hands over a sack of 120 SQs to her master.

Elizabeth: Here you go, master. Please consider—

Gudako just slams the door and walks away. Carrying the sack, she heads to the summoning room.

At that moment, Mash spots Gudako.

Mash: Senpai, where are you going with all those SQs?

Gudako: I'm gonna shove them in my ass and get high on delusions—what else are SQs for, Mash? Stop asking the obvious.

Gudako continues on her way, but Mash jumps and grabs her.

Mash: Senpai, you were saving them for the Anniversary and Summer events! Please don't just waste SQs on a regular banner like this!!

Mash does her best to hold Gudako back, but seems to forget she's dealing with someone who's faced down all the Beasts of Humanity. Gudako keeps walking as if nothing happened.

Gudako: Mash, it's inevitable. I can feel it; today is the day I summon an Irregular servant.

Mash: Like Sir Einer?

Gudako: Yup~! Today, when I was trying to have a bit of alone time thinking of you, Mash, it just didn't happen. That means it's a sign!

Mash: I... really didn't need to know about your... uh, personal fantasies, senpai. And how does that have anything to do with summoning a new servant?

Gudako: You wouldn't understand, Mash. It's a Grand Order.

Mash: Now you're not making any sense!

Anyway, Gudako heads to the summoning room with Mash unable to stop her senpai.

Gudako: And there go 30 SQs! Please, lords of Gacha, have mercy!!

With that, she does one multi-summon.

Gudako and Mash wait in anticipation, but for the first time in Gudako's life, she summons

…. 10 straight Mapo Tofu and a Cu Chulainn whom Gudako burns on the spot.

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So this is abridged version and I have full on my paywall. It is free.

I will post Omake to paywall, not regularly, and once a randomly with one random chapter, probably with bonus. People usually complains for cringe comedy and besides I dont want to ruin the flow of mood. Cia0~!