Clock Tower Shenanigans

So, you know how both the English and French go on about there's actual distance between the two countries?

Yeah, no, there isn't.

It cost barely 40 bucks per person for a seat on the Eurostar trains that took us all the way from Paris to London in less than 3 hours. That's a total of 200 bucks give or take for all of us.

The ride was unexpectedly uneventful after Tiamat punched someone in the face at the start.

I will carry this grudge for as long as I live, how dare she deprive me of the opportunity to humiliate someone in over his head?

Though, I'll admit, this place is a welcome change to Fuyuki.

Yeah, I said it.

"Shinjii... look... look. They are stabbiiing someone." Tiamat shook my shoulder, pointed at a random alleyway... and Caren? She's taking pictures of the stabbing with her new phone, a small smile on her face.

I think I took in a murder hobo.

The architecture here is different, the buildings are more tightly packed then they were in Fuyuki and also broader and taller. The people are also much broader and taller... heh.

The weather is cloudy, and there's fresh air carrying the scent of mankind's glorious march forward. The people are open and accepting.

In case you didn't get it, that's sarcasm.

It smells like petrol and motorcars here.

The people are just not interested in our odd little group, the few that approach us are dicks looking to get lucky with my pocket mommy... but, I guess this is better than the 'keep your head down' mentality of Fuyuki's population.

"Caren, stop snapping pictures of active murders. We're standing in front of history from all over the world." I dragged my new sister back to the place we were supposed to be at, "Shirou, we'll find you a teacher here."

I turned to point at Tiamat, "Your job is to make sure Shirou and Caren don't run off while I harass the respectable gentlemen here. Take them to a park or something."

No, Tiamat isn't the caretaker.

Shirou's the actual mom of the group.

Tiamat jerked up before saluting me with a 'serious' look on her face, "They won't get in trouble."

But we let her think she is, or she's going to throw a tantrum.

I tapped Sakura's shoulder, "You're with me."

I need to show you off the Second True Magician.

Honestly, these people are such a handful.

They don't even leave me with time to have my own fun.

"Your first real decision as my caretaker is to pass me to... this." Caren eyed Tiamat like she was a retard, "How inspiring."

"No, my first decision was buying you everything you wanted. Stop being a spoiled brat." I corrected her with a deadpan, "We'll be done here within the day."

Even the frilly, white, one piece dress you're wearing right now is something I paid for.

"Fine."

"How are you going to find a teacher for me without me?" Shirou asked me curiously so I just waved him off.

Dear Shirou, leave my business to me.

"You don't need to know."

I shooed them off like they were children... which they were.

Anyway, for the Clock Tower Lords,

I need to give them a part of my magic crest, meet the real overseer of Fuyuki and see about leaving these people a present for making me hurry with my experiments.

The nanomachines are not a weapon even if they can work as one, they're a means to an end.

What I designed them to do was alter themselves to become different elements and materials not available here for the sci-fi weapons I wanted to put together...

This little 'trip' came at the wrong time.

-

It's been 20 minutes and I'm still standing outside the London Museum with Sakura at my side... people are looking at us all weird and I even had a security guard ask me where my mom was.

So I told him she got raped to death.

Fun way to pass the time.

Anyway, my chauffeur is getting an earful.

How dare they make a once in existence genius like me wait? 

I even sent a message before getting on the plane.

Weren't they supposed to be all punctual like? And graceful and dignified and noble and all that jazz?

A literal shota was better at being on time than them... but that's cool too, none of their fathers were on time too.

Most of the godless freaks in there are born from cucks that got their wives fu-

I put my hands together and inhaled deeply, "I'm not touching on that."

I was just going off randomly but the possibility that one of them did get his significant other smashed by somebody else for 'superior genes' is a little too real with how they are for me to complete my thoughts.

"You must be Shinji Matou." 

I was drawn from my thoughts by a... tall man with long brown hair that fell to his waist wearing a red long coat over a black suit... He was holding a cigar in his right hand and studying me curiously.

"Hm. Don't you look a little too important to be a chauffeur?"

"Perhaps." He looked sour for some reason.

Well, I'm as unhappy about this as he seems to be so I guess I can relate.

"I was just curious about who'd be taking over the Matou family." He spoke calmly, narrowing his eyes, "It's strange how the old family head just... blew up?"

...Magi were cold, heartless, geniuses that were more like scientists with their approach to magecraft.

Coming here may have been a mistake.

He put his cigar to his mouth and inhaled, pursing his lips for a moment before looking to the side and letting out a large puff of smoke, "Well, good riddance."

Dear chauffeur, know thy place.

"The Matou are half a millennium old, you sure a chauffeur should be speaking like that?" The old Matou are gone, an insult to the family now is an insult to me and my sister.

The man shrugged, "Not really. But you don't seem like the type to get angry over that."

"True that." I mimicked his shrug.

He just insulted Zouken and I'm all for shitting on that guy even though he's long dead.

Smiling faintly, he held out his hand, "Waver Velvet. I met your uncle before."

Ooh, no wonder he seemed familiar.

This guy's an OG, and one of the coolest guys in Fate.

A 'no name idiot' who made the highborne magi eat their words about him. Anyone who spits on those 'above' him is cool in my books.

"The dead one? Tell me you killed him."

"Hm, I'm afraid not." He looked at me strangely, "Come along, I'll take you where you need to go. Your chauffeur is... indisposed."

-

"Woah, look at all this stuff." I looked around the London Museum.

With how well kept and paraded all this shit in here is, you'd think it isn't just artifacts stolen from all over the world... My respect for the British has increased this day.

The rest of the world just has a severe skill issue and those still salty about their heritage getting taken just can't 'take' an L.

If they had balls, they'd take it back.

"It's mostly replicas. All the real artifacts are under the monopoly of the Twelve Lords, one way or the other." Waver pointed out as he led me through the London Museum, his back slightly hunched, "Word of advice, steer clear. They'll know things about you before you even speak... and catching their attention isn't as good as it sounds."

What do you mean catching the attention of sick, cruel bastards that have held their positions by kicking down all others for millennia isn't a good idea?

"Who'd you say has the best attitude?" I inquired cautiously.

I know a lot but having more info on who to be wary of is good.

He hummed for a bit, "The Trambelio, if you're good at what you do. Or the Barthomeloi, judging by your family's extensive lineage."

That's right.

The Matou are old old.

The Tohsaka are 200 years old. The Matou are 500 hundred years old... The last of the three families that founded the Holy Grail War, the Einzbern, are over a thousand years old.

"My advice though, stay in Fuyuki till you're older and more sensible."

How dare he imply that I'm childish?

I'll have you know I can eat two pizzas in one sitting, can kids do that? Huh? Huh?

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