Gil-kun and the Black Saber

"Mr. Pop Pea ~, swims to the shore ~

Swimming in the waves, swimming some more ~

Mr. Pop Pea, swim through the waves ~

Say hi to your friends and then swim away ~"

"How long are you going to sing this dumb lullaby, mongrel?"

"Well, if I sing, I won't have a chance to say 'umu'."

"That's 6."

"Hey! That's not fair! That doesn't count as an 'umu', Goldie!"

"That's 7. And stop calling me such ridiculous names."

"Ok, fine, do as you wish, Meshy."

"Forget I even asked..."

"Look, Goldie! The hills stop there! There's a huge forest!"

Gilgamesh looked from the top of the last hill of grassland the woods below.

He smiled.

"Finally, I was growing tired of the stillness of this place. This climate definitely is more of my interest. It reminds me of that time I slayed the monster Humbaba together with my friend."

"You're right! The memories that some things evoke are truly spectacular, umu! Nothing beats a nice field trip with a friend."

"Don't call our glorious achievement a field trip, mongrel. Even if I'm in a good mood, my patience has a limit."

"This is you in a good mood? Isn't that kind of scary, Mr. Pop Pea?"

"*answers in penguinese*"

"See? I knew he would agree."

"Don't act like you kn- ... let's just enter these woods and see what they are hiding from us."

"Of course, Captain Goldie!"

"Also..."

"Yeah?"

"That's 8."

"Oh crap, I'm losing really badly. I have to do something. At this rate, Mr. Pop Pea is going to..."

"*expresses a sizable amount of concern in penguinese*"

As the two, or should we say three, went inside the forest, they didn't notice they were being followed from afar...

"These trees never end! How can we know where we are heading?"

"If we follow a straight line, we'll end up somewhere eventually, mongrel."

"But why leave it up to fate? Can't we just knock a few trees down?"

A long, long time ago...

"What? Why the hell can't we just knock down some trees?"

"Because they are part of nature, Gil. This forest was here before us, and if we don't ruin it, it will be here after us. Still, the balance in nature is built on a very fragile order. Unlike humans, trees don't have someone from above guarding them..."

"Yes, they do. They have you, o Grand Guardian of the Sacred Trees and Wonderful Bugs..."

"Really? Getting snarky because of this? If I didn't know you, I would judge you unfit to rule even a house. But I'm no guardian or ruler. I'm merely a vessel of nature. Once I return to being dust, no one will be here anymore to make sure these trees develop. But your humans, humanity will continue to evolve and prosper even after we're both nothing more than a distant memory. And that's because...

Humanity will always try to catch up to you, Gil."

Present

"No, we shouldn't. No one can guard these trees anymore. There's no enjoyment one can find in defiling them now." Gilgamesh said, with a note of sadness.

"Oh, I see... very well, being able to know where you're going is overrated anyway. Let's just head straight! Come on, Mr. Pop Pea!"

They were about to continue on their way, but they suddenly heard a tremor, as if an earthquake of staggering proportions was occurring right at that moment. The trees danced erratically before falling down one by one.

"What the hell is going on?"

"Something must have followed us, I can feel an insolent presence drawing closer to us. I didn't expect the beasts of this land to be so poorly developed they can't tell when a superior being like myself is passing."

"This force... it must be pretty big, umu!" What do you think it is?"

"Bug or not, it matters not. All who defy my rule will be executed. By the way, that's 9."

"Well, I guess you're right, we're going to fight it regardless... huh? 9 already?! Oh no... this... is... really... really... really... bad..."

"Quit losing yourself in thought, mongrel! I've already done more than enough to earn some rest."

"You make it sound as if I haven't done a thing!"

"Fool, in which kingdom a king works as hard as his subordinates?"

"It's coming, Goldie!"

An incredibly powerful gust of wind announced the arrival on the battlefield of a truly gargantuan lizard-like monster, its jaws spread out, saliva flying in all directions, its teeth the size of a human.

Gilgamesh readied his Gate of Babylon, ready to strike down the ferocious foe. However, before he could shred it to pieces, the lizard was decapitated by a burst of mana of a colour between magenta and blood. The leaping body of the beast crashed down, destroying the ground below and the trees all around it. 

Nero picked up Mr. Pop Pea and shielded him from the force of the impact, while Gilgamesh blocked the momentum of the corps through a series of chains, avoiding the rubble thanks to a number of shields from his treasury. 

"What happened? Who killed the lizard?"

"I guess we are about to find out, mongrel."

Gilgamesh couldn't shake off a strange feeling. That attack... where had he seen it before? Just a few seconds later, the slayer of the monster appeared right in front of them.

She sported black armour with what seemed like red ley lines, incredibly pale skin and blonde hair that almost looked like it had been bleached.

Gilgamesh stared and gazed at her. He... he couldn't be right, could he? That face... the hair, the body... that was unmistakenly her... but what about her voice?

"Identify yourself." The figure ordered.

"I can't believe this..."

"Huh, what's the matter, Goldie?"

"... it's really... you... SABER!" He exclaimed joyfully as he rushed towards her.

"Saber! My beloved Saber! You know how much I have been looking forward to meeting you ag-"

He barely had time to dodge her sword swing.

"Who the hell are you?" Saber asked.

"What? What is the meaning of this, Saber? Is this any way to greet your husband?"

"What kind of insane ramblings are you shouting, you mad dog?" The pale girl asked the King of Heroes, her blade still raised.

"I see you are as combative as ever, not even acknowledging that we met, Saber... what happened to your ahoge?"

"Ahoge? Is this your way of mocking me? I won't repeat myself: identify yourself."

"Fine, as you wish, my beloved. I'm the one who is going to marry you, the King of Heroes, Gilgamesh!" He said with pride and with a confident smile.

But instead of her falling in his arms as he had foreseen, all that giving her his name resulted in was another slash aimed against him.

"What the hell? Why are you attacking me, Saber?"

"Not only are you insane, you're a liar too."

"What are you saying, Saber? How can you not recognise me? I am Gilgam-"

"Stop spewing nonsense! You are not that Archer!" 

"What about you? If you are not my Saber, then who are you?"

"I am the great ruler of Camelot, the King of Knights, Artoria Pendragon!"

"So it really is you Saber!"

"That's it, I'm striking you down, you drunk jester!"

"Hold on, just a second, you two!"

Nero shouted, putting herself between them.

"Who are you? Why are you with a penguin?"

"If you really are King Arthur, who was your killer?"

"My killer? Are you this clown's concubine? I was undefeated in my reign, only the passing of time could win over my body and my will!"

"Aha! I found the solution! You are both right! You are Artoria and he is Gilgamesh, but from different timelines!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"... that sounds absurd!"

"Huh?! Is that how you repay me for saving you, Goldie?"

"Normally, if someone said such a remark, I would end his life without hesitation, but given the peculiar state of this world and what Merlin told me when I was alive... it might not be impossible."

"See? I told you it made sense!"

"So... you aren't... my... Saber?"

"I can assure you that, just like I can assure you it won't end well for you if you call me like that one more time, fake King of Heroes."

"F-fake?!" Gilgamesh crouched down in dread and disappointment. 

"This is the worst possible outcome..."

"Anyway, I'll trust your words for now, since you haven't displayed any signs of aggression. But... who are you?"

"Oh right, I forgot to introduce myself. I am the great emperor of Rome, um-" Nero paused with a frozen expression as if she had just realised something critical.

"I... am... the... great... emperor... of... Rome... I am... Nero... Claudius... the... Emperor... Artist... it's... a real... pleasure... to meet... you... great king..."

"Why is she talking like that?"

"To save that penguin's life."

"Why are you traveling with a penguin?"

"It's a long story."

"I can imagine... well, since we have avoided immediate conflict, I'll ask you this question: what are you doing here?"

"Our short-term mission is finding a place where we can leave this creature. But my objective is to find my one equal and my Saber from my timeline."

"I see, so that explains what happened earlier. ... what about-"

"I just tagged along! I thought it would be more fun going around with someone! Oh, and I'm also searching for a new home for Mr. Pop Pea!"

"Who is Mr. Pop Pea?"

"*presents himself in penguinese*"

"... you are both pretty weird!"

"Hey, don't lump me in with this mongrel!"

"Don't compare me to this arrogant prick."

"On second thought, perhaps we should part ways now."

"N-no, please wait! You seem level-headed! Please don't leave me alone with this lunatic!"

"Me? A lunatic? You are willing to kill a poor innocent penguin over a verbal tic! Please, Pendra-chan, don't leave me alone!"

"You don't make a very convincing argument... it's getting pretty late, you can join me for the night, while I'm still in the mood for some social interaction."

"Huh? You stay here?"

"I've built a temporary shed in these woods since they are less troublesome than the grassland over there. We can rest until tomorrow and maybe, if you don't bother me too much, I might join you."

"That's great! She resembles my beloved a lot. Well, naturally, she is my Saber after all... well, technically not my Saber... but still Saber nonetheless... Saber Alter... Salter, yes, Salter... And she also behaves a lot like her... perhaps I can distract my mind for a bit thanks to her... better than being stuck with this foolish emperor and a damn beast..."

"That's great, Pendra-chan! Did we charm you into joining us?"

"Not really, but I suppose it is safer and easier to stay in groups. And more importantly... I'm also looking for someone who might be here."