You Don't Know What Love Is

The sun's warmth penetrating through the large floor-to-ceiling windows did nothing to dispel to chills Evelyn felt run through her body. She looked at the woman in front of her in a new light and fear gnawed at her heart.

"You've known all this time?"

Calandra walked past her and elegantly sat herself again in the plush green single-seating couch. Evelyn's eyes trailed her the entire way as if she were wary that something important would slip her by.

"Sweetheart, I've ruled over this palace for longer than you've had the ability to think. There isn't a single occurrence that could happen without my knowledge."

It made sense.

As the most powerful woman in the world, what corner of this palace was free from her eyes and ears? Markos may be the Emperor now but his mother had not only been the Empress of the former Emperor, but she also hailed from the Tor Empire's ducal family. It was no secret that her roots in the political realm ran deep and her influence was inescapable.

This is what made her such a force to be reckoned with.

"You knew about Lady Freya and Emperor Markos being in love this entire time and yet you forced him into a loveless marriage with me." She slowly began to put the pieces together and stared at the older woman in anger. "You took advantage of me."

The Grand Empress rolled her eyes in annoyance, "Love? What could my son possibly know about love, especially with that vulgar and arrogant woman? You were more than happy to pretend to love him because of his power but now it's me taking advantage of you? Don't make me laugh."

"I did love him!"

"You thought you loved him," Calandra corrected. "Child, you don't even know what love is. Love a not a thing that diminishes quickly. It does not evaporate into thin air because your little fairytale has been ruined."

"He slept with another woman on our wedding night. He wanted to do it in front of me!" Hot tears rushed down Evelyn's cheeks. All the tears she was holding back, all the tears she forced herself to keep inside came gushing out like a broken dam and there was no way to get it inside.

It seemed her true feelings were now floating to the surface as she finally allowed herself to feel, something she had been long depriving herself of doing.

When her father died half a year ago, she did everything she could just to survive her vicious relatives clamoring for the throne that belonged to her. She devoid herself of emotions and became a lifeless doll that only had to follow her uncle's instructions of 'sit still, look pretty'. She didn't even dare to covet the throne that was rightfully hers - she just wanted to live.

Live away from the bloodshed, the palace schemes, and the hateful and greedy relatives that would stab each other in the back at any given moment.

So call her a fool, call her naive and foolish. She truthfully believed a man that she had never met would be her knight in shining armor. She believed that a man whose public image was of the most perfect bachelor in the world would be good to her. Somehow, she tricked herself into loving this fantasy idea of a man that never truly even belonged to her.

It was her mistake. The Grand Empress was right.

Calandra watched as the young woman before she went through a series of differing emotions. She was mostly indifferent and simply allowed her to feel whatever she needed to just to get it out of her system.

It wasn't as if she had never been in her shoes before. She was also once a young, freshly married woman with a husband who had more than his fair share of women.

She went many nights without even seeing her husband and despite his experienced reputation outside the palace, he would only touch her when he absolutely had to for sake of creating an heir.

Back then, it was hell.

She was constantly mocked behind her back and to her face. Nothing ever got easier. She may have come from a strong ducal family but they cared nothing for the women in their family, she was on her own from the very beginning.

Calandra was tired of this. But her son was the only thing she had and so she would do anything to ensure his reign was stable, even if that meant forcefully forging a path for him.

Evelyn was now sitting in her original seat across from Calandra. Her nose was slightly red and her eyes stung but she had finally stopped crying. She felt a bit embarrassed but was unwilling to let it show.

"Are you done now?" Calandra asked.

Evelyn countered with another question, forcing herself to keep her voice calm and steady, "Why me? You had hundreds of other women to choose from and even if you desire Lady Freya for some reason she would still be a viable choice. I have nothing compared to them."

It was true. Though she was a Princess, Lady Freya had an incredibly strong background and her family was the closest to the Emperor. It really seemed like an obvious choice to make.

"You're correct. You would be a terrible choice if all I wanted was an Empress to stand by my son's side."

It was annoying to agree. "So why did you choose me?"

The Grand Empress hummed in thought for a moment and then spoke slowly, "Do you remember what I told you about this palace having pesky bugs? I think you'll do well in drawing one out for me."

Evelyn had no idea what that meant. She wanted to ask more but the Grand Empress suddenly pretended to have a headache and advised her to visit her again on another day.

Shamefully kicked out, Evelyn took Jinx and as promised before, Merle to move her luggage into the bridal chamber.

The bridal chamber seemed clean but just in case, she forced them to change the sheets again and re-clean every inch of it before she was satisfied.

She then change into some men's trousers and a casual blouse and instructed Jinx to follow her out once again. It had just been a day of marriage but it was the most exhausting situation she had ever experienced before in her life. She wanted to surround herself with something more familiar before she yanked her hair out in frustration.

"Have you ever held a sword before?" Evelyn asked as they reached the training ground of the palace.

The training ground was currently deserted since the sun was now beginning to set. The sky was washed in colors of orange and red and it was no longer as hot out as it was before.

There was nothing but high-quality gold and silver weapons, and a large green area that stationed an archery station. In front of that was an even larger area with rough ground that varied in color from grey to brown to blood. Some of it seemed to be dried blood. There was a chest of weaponry near and Evelyn picked up a sword, tossing it around in her hand and then putting it back to find one better suited to her tastes.

Jinx shook her head. "I wasn't aware that Your Majesty had experience in training. My father was a commoner knight before he was a criminal but he believed that women had no business wielding a sword."

Evelyn rummaged through the bin a bit longer and then tossed a sword that was dark in color but extremely light. It seemed to be a sword for beginners.

"Your father was a moron." Her tone was teasing, "Don't you want to prove him wrong? I bet you could even surpass him."

The sword nearly clattered to the ground if the girl hadn't caught it in time, almost hurting herself. She had never held a sword before in her life. "I'm not sure about this, Your Majesty, wouldn't it be quite difficult to learn any type of physical training at such a big age?"

The Empress just waved it off, "Nonsense, you're only sixteen. Besides, I need a sparring partner and I would rather my life-or-death servant actually know how to prevent their death."

When Jinx still hesitated Evelyn rolled her eyes in impatience. "Come on, I'll teach you. I promise to not go too hard since it's only your first time, alright?"

"…Alright."

With that, the daylight faded away behind the distant sounds of clashing swords and late-night training.

It seemed the both of them were completely unaware of a pair of eyes watching them at that moment.