The Beginning

I must be a fool.

I thought even before I felt the floor underneath my hands as my knees collapsed under me and onto the cold floor in front of the throne.

A throne of thorns.

Even with the bundles of layers of my glamorous dress the sudden coldness from the marble floor seemed to seep through my clothing like water.

Unwelcoming. Cold. Merciless.

A resemblance to him.

Icy eyes that only see the dirt that hides underneath one's mask. As quickly as I looked up I looked away from those eyes. Only daring to stare at the white polished floor. To him, I'm no different to those who dared to approach.

Expect. Expect—her.

Then he spoke with a voice that could shatter glass. A voice that determined my fate once again. Yes, once again, for I have fallen onto this road so many times in my past lives. And it always ended in a familiar way.

"Celaena Amin Ashryver" And I knew the next words that would flow out of his pretty mouth that I mouthed when he said, "will be sentenced to death."

Cold. Not because of the marble floors but because of his cold and uncaring voice. What did I expect? I stared dimly at the floor, refusing to cry.

I thought since I was chosen to know what would happen then maybe, just maybe, I could change the way he looked at me. I closed my eyes in defeat. In the end, it didn't matter since it didn't change a thing.

"Take her away." His voice commanded the room.

The guards tried to lift me up to my feet but I had no strength left in them and I tumbled back to the floor. My already messy hair tumbled down in waves and over my face. Someone snickered next to him.

It could only be her. The one who managed to snake her way into his heart. "Celaena!" The doors bursted behind me. Father? I turned to see where my mother and father rushed in. Mother? What was she doing here?

"Your Majesty!" My father kneeled to his knees. The only person who seemed to give me the tiniest bit of recognition now tried to save his dignity.

"This must be false--" He had begun. What a fool. Nothing you say would get to him. The cold-hearted king.

"Silence, marquess." He said coldly. "Or would you like to join your daughter for attempted murder?"

"I have had no part in--" My foolish and lying father tried again but was interrupted.

"Take them away along with that." He had given me a final cold glance and waved his hand to dismiss. "Marquess, I won't hear a word of your excuse."

Ah.

The rejection wasn't new. Hands grabbed me once more and dragged me on the marble floor. But I couldn't get up nor did I care anymore. The doors closed that day from the throne room where my father tried to plead his innocence.

And I… I waited for my ending once again the next day. Just as the story had predicted.

"Celaena Amin Ashryver will be deposed of her title as a lady and hereby sentenced to death by immolation for attempted murder."

What a fool I must have been. What did I expect?

Even if I lived another life again and tried again with the help of a simple book…It would all end the same, won't it?

"Any last words?" A different man said. I didn't say anything at the time. There was nothing to say to them.

Nothing.

"Ignite." I heard him say the word of death. And the wood around me burned. My hands were bound to the crossed wood.

What a fool I was. I felt a bubble of laughter in the back of my throat. I smiled grimly at this situation. What a joke this was. I was abandoned for being a villainess.

I lifted my head to meet his cold stare. Well, it's true I was the villain of this story.

Once a villain, always a villain don't they always say? A play of a cruel God that no one would know but me. And who would bury it in ashes.

I closed my eyes and lifted my head to the sky as I accepted the flames that engulfed me. This time…this time...I'm done loving you.

So please...whoever you are. I opened my eyes a little one last time to the beautiful blue sky of my world as embers flared. I closed them again without tears.

Please...

Please, just let me sleep in eternal darkness.