Chapter Eighteen: Living For Him

If it's for you

I can act like I'm happy even when I'm sad

If it's for you

I can act strong even when it hurts

Hoping love will be perfected with only love

Hoping that all my weaknesses will be hidden

In this dream that won't ever come true

I grew a flower that couldn't be blossomed

_Fake Love

_____________________________________

Taehyung Pov

"Here you go, my handsome boyfriend." I said cheerfully, showing Jungkook his face in the mirror after shaving his beard.

*Silence*

"Ain't you going to compliment me? It took me an hour to shave you. My arm hurts..." I whined with a pout.

*Silence*

"Right.. You haven't forgiven me yet. It's okay, I can wait." I sighed never letting the smile on my face to disappear.

I put the mirror aside and took warm towel to clean his face.

It has been already three months since the accident happened but Jungkook never opened his eyes. Beside some finger movements, there was no sign of consciousness from him.

It was all my fault. If I wouldn't have went to club after Jungkook broke up with me that day and wouldn't have met Miran there, nothing would have happened to him. I still didn't know what happened that night between me and Miran cause I was wasted from drinking. But I was sure that I couldn't cheat Jungkook. Not in hundred lives.

But still I was the reason of the condition he was in. I would have disappeared from his life when Jimin told me about his coma that day. But...

*Flashback*

"He's in coma."

Jimin words hit me like a bullet, piercing my heart brutly.

I couldn't contain my emotions and got up from the wheel chair as adrenaline rushed in my veins. I nearly ran to Jungkook's bed and collapsed on the floor, just beside his bed.

I whimpered with excruciating pain that rose in my ribs. Tears started falling one after another like a stream. I didn't know if I was crying because of the pain I was experiencing physically or because of the person lying nearly lifeless in front of my eyes.

I didn't notice when Jimin came beside me and gave me his shoulder to stand up.

"Kookie..

My Jungkookie..

Wake up..

I'm here Kookie."

I cried his name again and again as tears kept rolling down my cheeks.

My heart was aching at the sight of the only person that I had loved in my life. And now that person was here because of me. I made him like that. I shouldn't be near him. I would only hurt him, if I stayed near him. I would better leave.

"Jimin-ah take me back." I said while looking at Jungkook for the last time.

I had made my decision for Jungkook's sake. I was going to leave BTS as soon as I recovered. I couldn't afford hurting him anymore.

"Taehyung did you see that?" Jimin nearly screamed out.

"What?" I gasped.

I turned my head to him to see a smile appearing on his face and his eyes were sparkling out of excitement or cheerfulness may be.

What happened to him suddenly? I raised an eyebrow.

"Didn't you see Jungkook moved his finger?"

"What? When?" I uttered in shock quickly turning to Jungkook.

But there was nothing, to my disappointment.

"He moved his finger. I'm sure. I saw with my own eyes. I can't believe. He hasn't responded to anyone ever since the incident. And finally, his body responded. I'll call the doctor while you wait here." Jimin muttered to himself barely making any sense to me and after settling me in the wheel chair, he left.

I stared at Jungkook with teary eyes, still trying to accept his state. My cheerful bunny who used to tease me, smile at me was lying silent in the bed.

But then I saw it too. His finger twitched. I surely saw that. I quickly went for his hand and clasped it with mine.

"I'm here Jungkookie. Can you here me?"

*Silence*

"Open your eyes. Please for once. I promise I'll disappear and won't show up. Please just wake up." I continued between sobs.

But all I got was silence.

When doctor came, he told us that Jungkook had chance to gain conciousness. At first, doctor were not sure, if he would ever wake up. But after his hand showed some movement today, doctor said Jungkook was showing his will to come back to life.

But they couldn't tell how long it was gonna take. And the most important thing he said that he could hear us. And the fact that he responded only to my voice meant that I was the only one who could help him back to life.

I had to conversate with him like we used to before accident. And had to stay with him. The more time I would spend with him, the sooner he would wake up.

*Flashback ends*

A tear ran down my cheeks as I remembered the fact that I was responsible for his state.

But quickly wipped it away, putting back a smile on my face. I was doing this for two months. Faking a smile, talking like nothing happened and acting like I was the happiest person in this world. And all this was for sake of my love. I didn't want him to hear or feel any despair from me. I wanted him to wake up sooner.

"What are the two love birds doing?"

I got startled at Jin hyung's sudden voice. I didn't notice when he came. I turned my head to see him walking to us with plastic bags in his hands, that were probably of food.

"It's a secret between me and Jungkook. Why do we tell you? right Jungkookie?" I said while winking to my Kookie.

"Oh come on. I'm your hyung Jungkookie. I raised you for 7 years. How could you treat me like this?" Jin hyung whined with a pout, ruffling Jungkook's hair.

But only got silence in reply.

And the sadness in his eyes couldn't be hidden.

We all had lost our smiles. All we did now was faking smile in front of Jungkook and crying behind his back.

"I got food. Let's eat." Jin hyung said while pointing towards the plastic bags sitting on the table.

I nodded as I got up from the stool, I was sitting in.

"I'll get something to eat. Wait for me. Okay." I said kissing Jungkook's forehead.

"Why Jimin isn't here yet? I told him to get some juice and fruits." Jin hyung wondered while plating the food as I settled beside him.

"Let me call him." I said while dialing Jimin's number but got no answer.

Suddenly, the door of the hospital room creaked open showing the last person I wanted to see in this world standing beside Jimin.

"Miran??"