Distant Memories - Part 2

("I wasn't sure where to start, what to say or how to act. However, one thing was clear to me the whole time: even if I were to fail, the effort was more important than my failure. Numbness, hopelessness, despair, sorrow - it was all visible on her face. The emptiness gave her a kind of safety, a strange comfort in giving up the hope of rescue and understanding, for without dreams she could never be disappointed any more...")

After Noxus released him from his teachings, Leo immediately set out to check the answers of his instructor. As he was about to open her door, he hesitated. One more time he reflected, as what was to follow would change his life completely...

While he was about to open the door, Syra left her room. She stepped out, dressed all in white, and made her way to Alastor's workplace once again. Upon noticing him, she glared into his face with her cold sky-blue eyes. Beneath the seemingly malicious farce lay a face far from such feelings. Leo immediately noticed that she was putting on a fake mask.

Without a word, she brushed past him, her attitude showing that she regarded everyone here as complete strangers. People who saw her ceased to talk, they didn't even look in her direction and kept a distance to her. This scene had nothing to do with her former self.

("Noxus was right, every single person has given up on her...").

Despite doubts, Leo just sneaked into her domain. When he entered, he was met by a shocking image. Back when he was here with Argo, it had been a completely white room, but now there was barely a trace of that. The walls were covered with fierce dark red color strokes, there was neither a clear pattern nor a proper starting point. Upon closer inspection, he knew it was blood. The floor as well was clearly stained with blood, making the whole room look like a murder scene. One large table had been stuffed with paints and brushes, along with large pieces of paper.

("Why is it so clean there? What's with the blood? Is she using it in her work, too? I don't know, it just doesn't fit.")

"I'll give you one moment to get out of here ! It seems that they didn't tell you that no one is allowed to enter this place."

Looking at her face he realized that she looked as old as he was. Still, Leo was clearly able to see her inner scars.

"I can help you."

For a moment her eyes lit up. It was words long past that no longer had any meaning to her. Nevertheless, that one moment made Leo feel some hope for success.

"Help? I don't need help from someone like you, now get the hell out of here."

"Your creations, I've been living with them. I could tell you about them, perhaps that would make you feel a little better-"

"SHUT UP AND LEAVE THIS PLACE BEFORE I MAKE YOU! THOSE TWO MAY BE INTERESTED IN YOU, BUT TO ME YOU'RE NOTHING!"

("Crap, I can't get through to her like this, what else can I try?")

Before he could think further, she put one of her brushes to his neck. It was sharp as a blade and started piercing Leo's skin. He left her room with a slightly bleeding cut, forced to admit defeat. Taking a deep breath, he concluded his first attempt to get through to her. After this incident, he tried to get more knowledge about her from Alastor.

"And that' s how you were trying to talk to her? Hahaha, well, that was doomed for failure. I admit, it's the first time someone has tried to talk to her so directly, but it is probably the dumbest idea you could have had. You don't just stare a caged bird in the eye and say that you can suddenly teach it to fly. Even if you think it's important to do something to help her, you should stay calm."

"Stay calm?! If you saw what I have seen in there you would have a different opinion! The walls and floor were smeared with blood! I don't think she's using that, is she?! She was hurting herself, wasn't she?!"

"No, blood is not one of her tools. That means it wasn't an accident last time after all. The fact that it happened again...Hm, that doesn't make it any easier. Say Leo, did you see any trace of blood on her body or any wound?"

"...No...there was nothing visible..."

" To be honest, even if she wanted to, she couldn't do anything to herself. Let me demonstrate it to you."

Alastor took a knife and cut his arm. After a short moment the wound closed. He cut himself several more times but the result remained the same: the wounds disappeared and he looked perfectly healthy.

" We can' t suffer any kind of wounds, neither by ourselves nor by anyone else in Evos. Even if I were to place a bomb next to me, I would come out harmless. This is both a blessing or a curse in her case. As I said before, if I were her, I would have given up a long time ago and probably done something like that. Despite knowing full well what will come out of it she keeps going...Tsk, in other words it's even worse. Leo, while I appreciate your intentions, your thinking won't get you very far and in the worst case will make things far worse. I know it sounds presumptuous of me not to have a solution myself, but you won't get anywhere this way and in the end you'll even destroy yourself.

""Self-destruct" Yeah yeah, I know but that can't be the reason to do absolutely nothing. Also, you underestimate my determination. I will come up with something better, just try not to stand in my way..."

"Such naivety...as you wish..."

After they spoke, Leo became more and more lost in thought. Ceaselessly, he searched for a way to reach Syra. Noxus still hadn't summoned his apprentice to return, and he was only able to give Alastor a fleeting hand. Meanwhile, he was learning of the new experiments that Alastor was showing his students and what it would do for them. Actually, it was a way to escape the constant headache.

("So they are really just his assistants. Still, he presents them with a way to "reach higher." Do you really want to watch them grow or is it just a facade to keep them on a leash? I am extremely curious Alastor...")

Following the lesson, he overheard a small group talking about Syra.

"What the heck happened to her? Is she sick?"

"I don't have a clue. Alastor hardly mentions her anymore either, she doesn't visit him much."

" I mean, even Noxus ignores her. She probably messed up somehow and they're mad at her. I mean why is she acting so strangely and ignores everybody? Does she think she's that much better than us? Her creations are always the same, so what's the point? "

("Of course, you guys have no idea what youre talking about, so you go off on a tangent. Any expectations of you people are wasted. Man, this whole thing is really pissing me off.")

"You guys will never understand."

"What do you want outsider?! Stop eavesdropping on us!"

"I don't have to eavesdrop the way you guys talk. You want to have this kind of conversation, do it in your own room."

"Ha, quite impudent for a lowly creature."

"Lowly creature? So that' s how you think of them huh? You're not a damn bit better than even one of them. All this cheap talk is going to bite you in the foot eventually."

"You dare to threatening us?! You shut your mouth, idiot!"

Leo wasn't well liked by any of the students, even now he was a thorn in their side. His harsh words sparked the anger in one of the students. What this one didn't realize, however, was that he was facing a person with years of fighting experience. He made the first move and charged Leo.

("Such a short temper, reminds me a little of Blade.")

Leo decided to play with him by avoiding the attacks. The boy was played by him, he stood no chance whatsoever.

"So you plan to make a fool of me in front of everyone?! You're gonna regret that in a moment! Oh flames, I beseech you!"

The student made use of fire magic and shot a beam of flame at Leo. Before he even finished creating it Leo realized the flame was unstable, a mistake that could cost the user their life in the worst case scenario. His group was standing next to him, even more people who were in danger.

("Tsk, it is always about pride. Why do you use this if you can't do it right, damn it?!")

His counterpart suddenly realized that his plan was about to backfire as the fire accumulated and grew in one spot.

"IT'S ABOUT TO EXPLODE, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO END UP IN IT! LEAVE NOW!"

Everyone heeded his warning out of fear except for his challenger. He stood rooted to the spot, watching his demise. Leo rushed toward him and threw him backward at the last moment. Within the blink of an eye, a loud bang echoed through the air. This time, fortunately, Leo was mistaken; the lacking potency of the magic triggered only a small explosion. Still, he felt pain in his back, the flames had burned through his clothes and left a wound.

("Ugh, so this is what fire magic feels like.")

The boy contemplated him standing still until his friends dragged him away from the spot and walked back to their hall. All that remained now was Leo, who brushed himself off the soot while checking himself for more wounds.

"You're an even bigger moron than I thought. Hasn't Alastor told you that we can't suffer any actual injuries in this place?"

When he turned around, Syra was standing right in front of him. She glared at him in annoyance.

"I didn't know if it would apply to everyone here, plus no one should be dying because of recklessness."

"You're the last person to lecture others about recklessness. Even if he had been hit, the wound would have been a warning to be more cautious. In the instant it persists, he will realize his mistake."

" No wound may remain but the pain does exist for the short time until it heals. I've seen it on his face, it' s not quite so harmless after all."

" That is the punishment for the stupidity that has been done."

"You're not wrong there. All this is unreal to me, the way things work here. Ouch, it hurts more than I thought. Guess I'm being punished for my good deeds."

" Well, let this be a lesson to you. We don't care about those good intentions of yours."

"Haha, such a tragic conclusion ouch-"

" Stay still before I change my mind!"

Syra did him the favor and healed the burn. As she used the healing magic she noticed the many scars on his back. It dawned on her just what he had been through there.

"If you like, I can explain them all to you. You just have to go with it, there's nothing to lose for you."

"Be more careful in the future if you don't want to end up like this again."

She then left the man alone again. Leo frowned and got back to his feet.

("Still not any interest about it huh? Too bad, it was worth a shot. Aw, where am I going to get some new clothes now. Hopefully Argo has some stuff for me.")

While he tried to stay out of trouble he nearly forgot about what was happening in his world.

("I wonder how much time has passed? How long have I been here? Months? Years? How can I ever reach them?")

It was not to be long before an answer would be given to him. After taking part in Alastor's research again, he was suddenly summoned by Noxus. The latter showed him a seemingly empty room. All of a sudden, a portal opened in the middle of it right in front of Leo's eyes.

"This is my gateway, the passage to your world. Both I and Alastor use it to deal with special cases or to give training courses for his students.

"For his students? He takes them to our world to observe it?"

"Correct, though somewhat differently than you think. Just like me, they are not allowed direct influence and they may only stay in certain areas for a short period of time. To prevent them from aging, Alastor creates a boundary for all of them, a shape-shift to minimize other dangers as well. Once they pass through here, they begin a transformation into an animal since it's the easiest to handle. If for some reason the shape-shifting does fail, they will be lost. At that point, there is no way back for them."

"Has anything like this ever happened before?"

"Unfortunately yes, there was a big accident. At the time the portal was unstable due to external forces. It was my fault, I didn't verify beforehand whether all the world' processes were running normally. Remember you asked me why no one in this place is able to help me. The answer is that I tried, but it ended up in this tragic accident. You need to know that in the past not only students were allowed to go on such expeditions. In order to simplify things for me, I founded my own squad that was supposed to report to me about special incidents. This gave them much more independence and less restrictions. The goal was to increase our efficiency, but I ended up doing the opposite. Due to an anomaly of unidentified organisms, which I misjudged, half of the squad was wiped out. Ever since that incident, I will never start such operations again."

"And what happened to the rest of the squad? I haven't seen anyone in Evos who might resemble someone like that."

Noxus remained silent for a moment.

"The problem with them returning was the condition they returned in. Every single one of us, including me, contains mana within ourselves. Rather, it is something like our life energy which constantly persists. However, if the mana inside you runs out, the life energy disappears along with it. Thus, even though they were able to return in the seemingly safe form of a creature from that world, they had to use the main portion of their mana to pass through the unstable portal. Unbeknownst to me at the time, these types of anomalies drain mana from the environment. As soon as they arrived here, the aging process kicked in anyway, causing them to fade away moments later. While at first everyone was glad to see them return, the punishment for my failure soon ensued..."

Noxus felt sad at these thoughts, a sight Leo thought he would never see. Unfortunately, this realization would later befall the one who was seen as dead.

"So you take care of these things by yourself now. Was there any other "anomalies" as you call them?"

"There certainly would have been others had I not removed them before they surfaced. Anomalies not only include the arrival of new unknown creatures or monsters, but also changes in the parameters of known beings. They are, ultimately, irregularities or aberrations of the world or of its inhabitants. Let's take an example: a sudden ability to control multiple magics or physical excess of power, an ultimately an unexpected surge of strength that could decisively affect the cycle. These are flaws in the system."

"And Yrasil is one of those flaws?"

"Correct however his case is very special as well as dangerous. The powers he uses exceed the limit of his world tremendously, beyond anything I've ever seen."

"And where is it that something like this can happen? I mean just how many more horrible things could he have done in the future?"

"The reason for the anomalies is elusive to me as it is. So far, even the analysis of the trouble cases hasn't shed any light on its cause. Nevertheless, Yrasil is the first case whose cause could be identified, which is a huge issue and may even be a key to all past cases. These forces, their compositions, functioning and display all indicate an origin in Evos."

"How can that be possible?! Has Alastor been involved, by any chance? Has he designed them?"

"Oh, I'm sure he would have loved to, however, he is not responsible for it. Rather, these powers are too potent and stable for him to ever approve. It is his rule that nothing is ever even attempted without his permission or verification, let alone, if it succeeds, utilized. While this flaw causes the most headaches for myself, for him it is the origin and the components. You saw how absorbed he was in his work, he no doubt already has you marked as a lab rat."

"What about Syra then? Why can't she access the portal? I mean, what's the problem with that? Her aging process? Getting the transformation? The time period?"

"None of these things. The problem is at the source of this phenomenon. She doesn't sense a portal, you can see it right in front of you, yet to her there' s just a plain wall. Basically, she's not able to even interact with those things let alone fulfill the conditions for a passage in the first place."

"This can't be true...you guys have the ability to do this and she's the only one left to remain here?"

" Trust me, we've tried it all but nothing has been working. She's just not capable of leaving this place."

" We are done for now. I'll take care of other things, think carefully about your next actions. Keep in mind, the best of intentions may lead to the worst of outcomes. I do hope you don't fall into that category."

Noxus treated it like a challenge, he wanted to let the inner drive in Leo grow even stronger. But as he was soon to find out, this was not necessary.

Following their conversation, Leo headed straight for Syra. He was aware of her stance towards him yet her cursed fate caused his restlessness to take over. When he opened the door he saw the horror he so desperately wanted to get rid of. She was sitting on the floor holding a brush in her hand, however, the tool had become the weapon that was a part of her despair. Blood ran down her arm, the skin covered in red glowing from an emotionless expression, absorbed in her inner prison. Before she could notice him at all, he approached her. Eyes wide open, she watched him rip the brush out of her hand and throw it away.

"Stop, don't do that. I beg you!"

"Why are you here! Didn't I make it clear what happens next?!"

"I don't give a damn what's about to happen, but at least this will be over! Punch me in the face, grab me by the neck or throw me out of here but you can be sure of one thing: Whenever you try to do this, I'll be there to put a stop to it! These other two need me in one piece, hell even if I leave this room on the verge of death they won't just let me go!"

"Who do you think you are huh?! A savior who can solve all problems?! Don't make yourself more important than you-"

"No, I will and yes, that's who I think I am. I realize that it's a lie right now, but it won't stay that way. It doesn't matter what you do now, you won't get rid of me."

Syra became angry, she detested Leo's attitude.

"Those are empty words spoken by a foolish person! Making ignorant statements about saving when you have absolutely no idea!"

" That's right, I can't know what's going on in your mind, but I too experienced similar feelings. It could be a thousand years difference, but that wouldn't change a thing! The choice is yours: either this whole situation will happen again and again, or you can listen to what I have to say. Like I said before, you have nothing to lose in this so think about it!"

"I hate idiots like you, posing as a friend yet in the end all you ever are is a total stranger!"

"No, I don't know your story but I do know one thing for sure. All those times I've seen you, your eyes and your face, showed me what's really underneath. Your hatred is not towards me, a loud-mouthed outsider who claims to be of great help, but towards all the insanity that has made you the way you are today. Your anger is not towards me but towards all those who abandoned you without ever trying to comprehend your situation. Your despair only grew stronger with the realization that all of them here are actually strangers to you and will always be!"

"SHUT UP!"

Using wind magic, she hurled him against the wall. Leo crashed hard to the ground and spat blood out of his mouth.

"You know that I'm right, you just don't want to acknowledge this, because it would bring up those horrible feelings again, causing inner fears to return."

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, YOU BASTARD!"

She punched him hard in the face however Leo held his ground. Even after several blows he kept looking into her eyes determinedly up until he grabbed her arm and blocked the blow. Blood started dripping down his nose.

"Look, your bloody wounds are all gone, but that's not the point, it never has been. You already realize that this is useless, and yet you hope to find some kind of salvation through it. But nothing will change this way, it's a waste of time and an incentive for despair."

Suddenly she took one of the brushes and held it to Leo's neck.

"Do it and see what happens! Is the view of death going to save you or will it just make you drown deeper huh?! I've witnessed it for a long time: Hundreds of lives perish every dayd, in many areas it's become a part of everyday life to struggle and die in the end. I took hundreds of lives, ended the existences of your creations and had their blood stained on my body. Right now, you don't care about the consequences. Get it over with and rid the world of a killer, but be prepared to get comfortable around death. If you do, it will be my blood that covers the ground and my wounds that will be displayed forever. DO IT!"

Syra hesitated, her hand shaking until she dropped the brush. Leo coughed up blood and took a deep breath.

"You bear deep inner hatred but that is not the real truth: You...you don't hate yourself, you hate this entire world! For what it has done to you, to what it has cursed you and left you alone..."

Wordlessly, she sat on the floor and gazed at her bloody arms. Before she was able to use magic, Leo grabbed a vial of water he had received from Alastor and poured it over her arms. Using his hands, he rubbed the blood off until her skin was clean.

"Why did you do that? Beings like you are dependent on it."

Grinning, he reflected her words.

("Ha, she doesn't care about herself, yet she cares about others...")

"Well, I'm just not thirsty right now."

Blood dripped from his nose again, even his hand was covered with blood as he coughed. Once again, he realized that he was an ordinary human being.

"I gotta say, you' re not someone anyone should be messing with."

"That was the idea, and yet you chose to ignore it."

Syra held her hand on his cheek and healed his wounds. Leo stared deep into her eyes; despite their missing brightness, to him they were beautiful.

"So, are you ready to listen to me now?"

"No but you won't give up either way."

"That's right. Where do I even begin? The creator of my friends must have an endless amount of questions about them and their lives, perhaps even beyond that. There are many answers I could give, however, there is a better way: I shall tell you my story, about the experiences and encounters with others and the development leading up to this point. Who knows, maybe in the end you won't see me as much a stranger anymore."

Once Leo started sharing his story with her, he realised a very important truth, one he never had neither choice nor chance to realize.