Tentacle Hell

As I looked upon the assembled forces of Riser Phenex I felt nothing but pity. There exists an infinite number of worse fates than what I had in store for them, but I doubted the the very British it could have been worse attitude would deliver them from the nightmares of my attack. I could defeat them in any possible way including stripping naked and beating them to death with my fists, but that shit stain in a tacky suit opened his big mouth and here we are.

Our Peerages stood across from each other on an open field, none of the over dramatic settings created for most Rating Games. Riser Phenex and his harem of cosplay fetish whores versus Diodora Astaroth and his power armored, enchanted weapon wielding soldiers. If the vast disparity in equipment didn't clue people into how one sided this fight is, then the power level of the combatants would.

Each member of my peerage hovered around the strength expected of a high class Devil, putting them below Riser himself in power, and above the rest of his peerage including his Queen and his sister, Ravel. Riser actually boasted impressive raw power within the high class range, but my Ultimate Class power meant that I could extinguish him like a candle with raw might alone, not even considering the massive advantages I have within the class itself.

A smart person would have pulled Riser aside and told him that facing me was completely stupid, but for the third time his family impressed me with their apathy.

We'd see if they were so haughty after this.

"I am a very bad man." I told them during the pre fight banter, "I have principles but no sympathy, you see. It brings me great joy to inflict destruction on those dumb enough to go against me. As I look upon the blood, ashes, and wreckage of what were once lives, I think, 'Rad. What will we do next time?' and as cruelty is infinite so too are my options in dealing with fools that cross me. Chief of sinners though I be, even I hesitate to unleash upon you what I have prepared for today's festivities. And I mean unleash, for I will have no control over it once the process begins and no one will be able to save you despite the safeguards included in the Rating Game. Once the process has begun you will all be subjected to three stages of torment and humiliation, so I implore you this: do not make me do this heinous thing to you. Surrender."

Though the members of Riser's Peerage looked completely terrified, likely do the unrestrained presence of my power weighing down on them ensuring the validity of each word spoken, Riser refused to even consider the possibility that what he heard and felt were legitimate.

"What was that, virgin nerd?" He laughed, "Have you entered your edgy bitch phase already. We are so scared of your forbidden power. Please spare us your virgin nerd wrath."

"So be it." I sighed.

When the match started I clapped my armored hands together and before I pressed them to the ground I heard several shouts of 'I retire!' from Riser's side of the field, meaning that at least a few people would not be subjected to the coming horror.

As my hands touched the earth, a massive magic circle appeared under Riser and his Peerage.

"Maximum Fucked Up Magic: Tentacle Hell!" I shouted for good measure and because it actually made the spell stronger by ten percent.

"Tentacles?" Riser gasped.

"Tentacles." I confirmed.

"Ah shit!" He managed to scream before massive kraken tentacles burst through the ground and wrapped themselves around him and his Peerage, each made of alchemical transmutation and bearing my power of Absorption, stealing magic from their victims to fuel the next two stages of transmutations.

"Oh thank everything worthy it is kraken tentacles!" Riser shouted as his magical flames were repeatedly sucked into the tentacle holding him, "I was so worried that this was going to turn into my worst nightmare. Do you know people draw these things raping people? I am so glad you are such a class act Diodora. You've got me, and I obviously cannot escape. The win is yours, release your magic."

"I told you earlier, I do not control this magic. Merely unleash it." I reminded him, "You are in Stage One: Unleash the Kraken. You are about to begin Stage Two: This is not a Penis."

"This is not a penis?" Riser squawked.

"In honor of Toshio Meada." I nodded.

"Oh you sick fuck!" he shouted as phase two began and the kraken tentacles used the stolen devil energy to transmute tentacles along their form similar to a sea anemone.

As one of the tentacles gently caressed Riser's face, he shuddered in horror.

"What is Stage Three?"

"Semen Tsunami." I told him with a grimace.

"GOD, JESUS, HOLY SPIRIT!" Riser shouted, "SLAY ME NOW! KILL MEEEEE!"

I turned away, averting my eyes of what came next. A few servants were sent down to rescue Riser and his Peerage, but all they managed was to raise the number of victims.

During Stage Two, the tentacles would begin transmuting their biomass into semen, my semen. Stage Three ended when the tentacles literally cummed themselves to death, filling and covering my enemies in my baby batter and dissolved oxygen to prevent drowning. Yes, they breathe in my semen to survive.

I quit the field, already having won due to Riser's surrender, and went to the spectator area. I looked upon the genuinely horrified faces of my pregnant girlfriends, family, friends, acquaintances, and peers and took a moment to gather my thoughts.

"This is what you get when you make fun of 40K." I spat.

"Huzzah!" Sirzechs raised his arms and cheered the only one not disturbed by the showing and having taken the Devil's enjoyment out of Riser's fate.

"How does making fun of your hobby equate to… to that!" Rias shouted as she pointed to the tentacle hell playing out below.

"40K is my safety blanky." I began my impassioned speech, "No matter what I do, or what I see, I can sleep peacefully at night because… at least I am not in 40K. That is what Riser insulted, and that is what he gets."

"So he made fun of your fandom and you made a spell to inflict the horrors of your tabletop game on him?" Rias questioned.

"Rias, please." Sirzechs interrupted, "That may be an Underworld eight, but it is a 40K four."

"Wouldn't even be an attraction at an Eldar orgy." I agreed, "Not enough barbs and spikes and too many safety features built in to make sure no one gets fucked to death."

"What kind of tabletop game do you people play?" Seekvaira gasped.

"One about courage and grace during the dying of the light." I answered.

"Note to self." Rias stated, "Read up on 40K and never, ever make fun of it."

"Unless you want to make fun of Lorgar. Cause fuck that guy." I told her.

"Ummm. Lord Diodora." spoke up the nervous voice of Ravel Phenex, horror and gratefulness in her eyes.

"Yes, dear." I bid her to continue.

"Thank you for giving us the warning and opportunity to leave." she nodded her head, "I… I don't think I could have recovered after… that."

The twin drill blond hung her head in shame.

"Thank you for taking me up on it." I grinned, "I was serious about not wanting to use it on anyone, but your brother made his bed."

"He did." she nodded, "Congratulations on your engagement with Miss Gremory and the coming baby."

"Babies." I corrected her, "Seekvaira Agares is also carrying my child."

"WHAT!" I heard Rias shriek.

"Suck it Gremory!" Seekvaira stood up and pointed at her, "I got to him first.".

Words were said, battle lines were drawn, and I made tracks.