CH 10: In Dire Straits

Sung Jinwoo lurks around and would occasionally hide behind the rough, red-brick walls; glance around like the shady villains in cartoons. He decided not to go home through the front door but through the window. He quietly walked around the apartment, to the back and found the stairs that lead to his bedroom window. The lights were off and he didn't sense a known or unknown presence in his room (not that he can in his current state). He almost jumped for joy. 'Thank goodness mom isn't awake. It's morning. 12:03 AM. I'm really screwed if mom---or my tattle-tailing sister is up...Oh wait never mind, she's having a sleepover at her friends house. Convenient.' A shiver went up Jinwoo's spine and he sneezed. The wind was unpleasant and disapproving today.

It didn't seem to like Jinwoo very much, so he said 'Hi' to the wind with a very cheeky, mischievous smile, and glittering eyes. The cold air didn't gust again for some time. Must have scared it away. 'Oh. Sometimes your crazy antics really do work, Kim Dokja. But...a wind shouldn't stop bothering me or anyone simply because I greeted it. That's even more suspicious than me. Oh well, I'll think about it tomorrow. I've got more pressing matters at hand now. Sneaking back in...but I have a bad feeling about this one. Should I just head back tomorrow and tell them I was hanging out at a friends house?' he pondered over it for some minutes and decided to just get it over with. The worst thing that would happen is, he gets scolded or grounded.

Jinwoo silently crept up the stairs with minor creaks and clinks from the iron stoop. Arriving he slowly pushed the lower sash up and jumped down. A very, very small thud could be heard. In the dark stillness, he couldn't see much, but the dim glow of the bedside clock and the faint shadow of the lamp next to it. Black figures of his bed, desk, and wardrobe he could vaguely see as well as a figure of a human. Sitting on his chair, far in the corner left of his room.

Jinwoo stared at it. Unsure on what to feel; alarmed or calm. The shadow slowly moved their arm to the right and lightly pulled down the cord. The golden hue of the old, dusted lamp shined on his mothers darkened face. Her features were deadly calm. Her facial features were so soft, just as it was when she had woken up from Eternal Sleep. But her tired eyes that glared angrily at him and worry knot brows gave it away and Jinwoo frowned.

The ceiling fan sliced the wind and spun, around and around. Clinking and clanking its dangling cords. Silence hung over them and it was loud. Very loud. Jinwoo gulped, keeping his steady gaze on his mother. He was regretful and guilty of not informing his mother beforehand that he would be at Starbucks and he might come home late. Or at least, he could've went home at a determined time and continue his research at home. He bit his cheeks, pressed his lips together, and looked away from her disappointed stare.

She tapped her fingers on the arm chair as her legs overlapped one another. Her breathing was even and Jinwoo began to fidget. He wasn't sure if he should sit down, move, speak, or breath. He just glued his eyes onto his feet and floors. Finally, after another minute or two, she sucked in a loud breath and exhaled.

"Where were you?"

"I was at Starbucks..."

"What were you doing at Starbucks?"

"I was doing some school work and personal research..."

"What sort of research?"

"Research about the latest case regarding Kim Dokja..." she remained silent for sometime. Perhaps confused about why he would spend his time doing both homework and researching about Kim Dokja. A pitiful villain or a wronged child as many would say.

"Why were you researching her?"

"Just curious..."

"Was it a project from school?"

"...ye- no. No it wasn't a project from school."

"Individual?"

"Yes..."

"Then could you explain why you went home at 12:03...AM?" her tone raised. Her face scrunched up as she tried to control herself. She didn't want to wake the whole building up but she was beyond furious and she couldn't help it. She wanted to explode. Lash out because she was so worried. Worried that something might have happened to Jinwoo while she was asleep. Her husband was away for work and her daughter was having a sleepover at her friends house. It was just her and Jinwoo. This type of behavior was something that was quite common but Jinwoo wasn't as talkative as now. She's going to use this opportunity to find out why he snuck out. Why he did do that again? Was he getting bullied again? Or is he just bring an ass, like his old self?

"I was searching her up because I got interested in true crime and I was doing homework with a friend of mine...I made a new friend at school and - he's really nice...He may not look like it but he's nice. Kind even. I was surprised at first but you know, you never know someone till you get to know them. Anyways, we went to Starbucks because we wanted some coffee. He had money. I had borrowed money and so we decided to split the order up and paid for the thousands of stacks of coffee's on our tables." he rambled before being abruptly stopped by his mother.

"Thousands?"

"Oh um yeah. It's only a few. No worries!"

"No...how much is 'thousands', Jinwoo?" she inquired with great intensity and watched as Jinwoo hesitated to answer. Afraid that he might make a grave mistake if he doesn't choose his words properly. "10?" he answered with great hesitance.

"10?"

"Yes..."

"10?"

"Yes.."

"10." At this point, he knew she was asking for an explanation. Demanding it. He had to come up with something quick before she explodes.

"Yes, me and my friend Dae-Hyun were splitting it up. I bought 3 and he bought 7. Don't worry I only ordered the small one." Her body that forwarded itself, slowly laid itself back down to the soft, comfy cushions of the chair. Jinwoo felt a sense of relief wash over him. He's never seen his mother looked so angry before and he wasn't sure how to act. This Jinwoo's mother was different from his. She was both lively and reserved and her lively was much different from his mother. Much, much different.

"3 is still a lot. Do you know how much a Starbucks beverage cost?"

"Yes, 4,100 to 10 or 12,000 won"

"That's quite expensive, no?"

"Yes..."

"Well, at least you didn't overspend and even if you did, you still won't receive your allowance till next month."

"Right."

"Jinwoo, this is the - how many times, have you done this?"

Jinwoo paused and tried to recall from this Jinwoo's memories. He couldn't count the exact numbers. He did it so many times and only told her off or stubbornly held his ground against her. No one in the family knew what was going on with him. It was only recently did they know, since the new neighbors are especially chatty.

"Many times," he finally answered.

"Many times right? Many times," she nods her head and bites her lower lips from time to time.

"Okay, if it's many times than why do you still do it? Why do you keep sneaking out or not informing me where the hell you are?" Jinwoo remained silent.

"Do you have any idea how worried I was?! Every time you pull something like this, I go off into a frenzy! I ask my friends, they don't know where you are. Your friends and they don't know either. I call you and you didn't pick up!" Jinwoo winced, 'Right I turned my phone off.' "Jesus Christ Jinwoo! Grow up!" Jinwoo's heart thumped rapidly in his heart. He could hear it. She slammed the table and yelled, "HEY! You're spacing out right now!"

"I'm sorry..." Park Kyung-Hye's messy black hair, hung over her face, covering it as she pressed her fingers on the bridge of her nose. Trying to calm herself down. She's heard this apology of his so many times, she could hear it on replay.

"What are sorry for, Jinwoo?"

"I'm sorry for-" he paused "not communicating with you, not being considerate towards your feelings, not being responsible and not informing you. I promise, this won't happen ever again."

His mother sighed. Jinwoo was different from before. She knew. The moment he woke up that day, he was different, yet she was surprised that his son could change this much overnight. She wasn't sure if she should feel concerned or proud...but she's a mother and she will carry out her duties as one without fail. Even if, it brings even more disappointment and frustration, each and every day. To the point she feels like giving up. 'Oh God, this is frustrating...will he...truly...ever change? I wonder. Do I have to sit here and wait forever for his change? Do I? I can't stand it. He deliberately disobeyed and anger me, every single day. Sucking out my lifespan and energy. Every argument we ever had, has now been blurred. I can't even remember how many times we've argued. How many times, I tirelessly tried to communicate with him and reason with him. Am I just a terrible mother? Ugh! I can't stand it anymore! It's so tiring. It's so tiring.'

"Jinwoo, I know you're a big boy. You're almost an adult now and you're independent. You skipped a grade and you're very smart. Extremely so and I'm very proud of you. Truly I am...and as your mother, I do not want you to end up like those hobo's on the streets who doesn't know what to do with their life. Who doesn't try. Some do and I respect and admire them. I was just like them but me and my family tried. What's important is, your try, have a goal and you reach it. Trying isn't always good enough. Another thing is, not straying away from your values and your beliefs. You must always, always remember that." Jinwoo nodded, feeling a bit more relieved with the sudden change but he also understood those words more than anyone and felt grateful that his mother said those words to him. Words that he desperately wanted to hear as a child during those times.

"You must also understand that being humble, discipline and communication is important. I may be your mother but I can't read your mind. I'm not like those hero's you read on your Webnovels when you were a kid. Maybe you still do read them, but the point is talk to me. Communicate with me. Do you understand? By not informing me and coming home this late at nigh- in the morning is ridiculous?!"

"Yes, I know, and I'm sorry mom..." regret and remorse filled his voice. His mother heaved "Whatever," she got up and left with a "Goodnight. Love you."

The door shut and Jinwoo dropped to his knees. It's been a while since he felt that scared. He's scared of loosing Kim Dokja but that scared is different compared to the fear he felt before. He breaths in and out. His body felt as heavy as his first time running a 100km. He slumped his legs and rest his back against his bed. 'That was terrifying.'

The black-purple skies lights penetrated his window and into his room. Jinwoo arose from the bed, kicked his blanket, turned, sat up and looked at the cushioned chair his mom sat on, and looked away. His clock ticked to 4. He barely slept. The look in his mom's eyes. The disappointed, tired glint in her eyes. It looked like she almost gave up on him...He wanted to tell her that he wasn't Jinwoo. Not her Jinwoo and that he was different but that would raise a lot of questions about his sanity. If he could, he would punch this Jinwoo in the face over and over again till he bleeds.

This Jinwoo was punny and weak. So very weak it was pityful yet at the same time, the bullying had caused him to snap and turned him mad. He became distant and furthered away from his family. He worked part time jobs in secret to support himself so that he could give his own savings to the bullies. He lied to his parents, acted passive agressive towards his mother and father when they scolded him. Tried to communicate and discipline him. It was frustrating watching these memories play in his head as he too was getting scolded. It became difficult to focus on the situation at hand. Fortunately, his guilt helped him focus.

However, what angered Jinwoo the most was when this Jinwoo stood there and watched as the bullies harassed his sister's Insta pictures. Saying that her lips were balloted like a fish, far too thin like a stick, and cheeks too flat like pancakes. However, for the sake of humiliation, they would screw her over and over again, even if she said no. He would try to fight them but he'd fall over and then stay on the ground. Begging them not to hurt him.

Doing whatever they told him to do.

Jinwoo hated him. He was disgusted by him. If it were him, he would never let it slide. Even if he was weak, he'd grab a weapon, a metal pole; stick; shoe, and tackle them over by the waist and hold on tightly. Never letting go. Grit his teeth and bear the pain. Ignoring the blood that splurged from his head, legs, arms, fingers. He wouldn't care because it's his sister their making fun of. Not him but his sister.

He couldn't believe that in an alternate dimension there was a version of him that was this pathetic. He thought that being E—rank was pathetic but this—this was a whole another level pathetic.

'Disgusting'

He hunched over and pressed his head against his finger tips. He was tired. Beyond tired yet he wouldn't allow himself to sleep.

He rose from his bed and decided to do his morning routine. He wouldn't allow himself to sleep. It's not the first time he's sleep deprived. He puts on his running clothes and exits the building with his earbuds on. Listening to ambient Japanese music to calm himself down. He walked to a pole and bent his knees. He imagined himself stuck in that damn desert, bent his knees and ran.

Seconds past and the winds comforting whistling allowed him to drift into his memories. A memory that drives him to run. His mother's expression from this morning and the feeling of weakness. He remembered his time in that desert all too well, where he spent hours on end, running away from insects and beasts, till his mouth became a crusty, old, dried sponge under the blazing heat. Begging for some hydration but couldn't. The feeling of the sticky sweat, pumping up as he continued to run throughout the day. Unable to catch a breath. There were many moments in his time in that place where his chest tightened and he felt suffocated. His throat, shins, thighs burned. The rough, lifeless terrain of gravel and sand, that lacerated his shoeless foots.

Suddenly, Jinwoo felt someone bump into him and that drags him back into reality. All the pain he feels throughout his body crashed onto him in seconds. He decided to take a break and sat on a nearby bench. The streets were beginning to get a bit busy as he noticed a few pedestrians pass by him. Traffic starts building up. Crowds of pedestrians, shoppers and other people can be seen walking along the pavement. Some were even passing by him. He passed by a pungent smell of roasted chicken and loud salesman's and woman's.

Deafening noises are made by passing scooters, automobiles, and cabs honking. Anyone who stops by to take in the spectacle is astounded by the sheer volume of cars speeding by or sluggishly advancing while stopped at the lights.

The crowd waits for a chance to cross the street, mostly female shoppers with small children. The setting is cheery and cheerful. The main draw is the assortment of textile stores, department stores, carpet stores, restaurants, jewelry stores or electrical goods stores, pavement stalls with small items like costume jewelry, toys, and aluminum cooking utensils, and vendors luring customers to buy their wares.

It was clear that Jinwoo has somehow ended up in the city but lucky for him. It's Saturday. It didn't really matter but he should probably head home to say sorry to his mother. In order to express his sincerities.

He got up from the cold, metallic, bumpy bench and felt a sudden, involuntary intense pain in his thighs which caused him to sit back down. His upper and middle thigh in his left leg swelled and his muscles clenched and contracted into a tight knot. Jinwoo slowly lifted up his leg to rest it on the cold, rustic surface. People looked at him weirdly but he was too busy caring about the intense pain to bother (not like he ever cared what people think; as an S-rank).

All was good, excluding the pain, until someone accidently spilled strawberry milkshake on his head. 'God fucking dammit'

He turned his head to take a look at the perpetrator but instead saw someone he wasn't expecting to see.

His mouth gaped open.

The horrible phrase trembled on his lips like the latch on that door; in a second it will escape, in a second he will let it go, and in a second he will speak.

"Kim Dokja?" he whispered. Loud enough for both of them to hear. She jolted. Realizing too late of what he said Jinwoo fumbled around words to say, "You're ugly..." this caused Kim Dokja to scrunch her face but then realized that she did just dump her strawberry milkshake on this man's head. Perfectly reasonable but that didn't mean she wasn't pissed off.

"Sorry for dumping it over your head...I'll try to compensate for the damage done to your beautiful hair and spotlessly clean clothes." she said, not meaning to sound so sarcastic.

An overwhelming surge of emotions crashed over him. Happiness, sadness, desire, possessiveness, frustration, relief. He wanted to jump on her and kiss her but judging by her reaction, she didn't recognize him. Meaning, she doesn't remember him.

'Fuck. Well, whatever. I'll just make her fall for me again. I did it once, I can do it again.'