Chapter 16

I can't do this, Katie thought wildly as Roman tugged her forward while he walked backward, their feet whispering against the deck. His dark eyes held her captive. As if sensing her mood, his long fingers slipped from her hands to encircle her delicate wrists, holding her more firmly.

"Roman, I don't need the pain anymore," she tried pleading with him, fearful of his intentions. "I haven't for a long time."

His lips twisted in a grim smile. She shuddered under the shadow of that look. It didn't promise good things for her. They continued to move across the deck together, then down a set of short steps. She followed him, helpless against his extremely dominant personality and sheer strength. They moved as though in some kind of twisted dance. He led while she followed, their eyes locked, their bodies in fluid motion.

He stopped. She stepped into him before she realized he was done moving. She would have moved away from him, but he brought his arms up, trapping her loosely against him. "You need the rush like you need to breath, hermosa."

"Okay, yes," she admitted breathlessly, "but I get my rush in other ways now. I don't hurt myself any longer. I got over that."

He pulled her against his chest, his eyes locked on hers, drawing her in like the big, bad wolf. "Maybe I didn't, baby. Maybe I need to punish you for all those years of putting mi mujer at risk, of marking her up like you had any kind of fucking right to scar such perfection."

His voice rose with each word until he was nearly shouting toward the end. Katie flinched in his arms, but she raised her chin and glared up at the tall man that held her. She crossed her arms and rubbed at the sudden chill in her bare arms where her sleeveless sun dress didn't cover.

"That makes no sense at all, Roman," she snapped up at him. "You intend to what? Punish me and make me feel pain for hurting myself? Isn't that a little ass backwards?"

He froze, his eyes flickering in remembrance for just a second. "Dexter used to say that."

"I know," she murmured. "All of us Pullmans say it."

He heaved a sigh and tightened his arms around her, drawing her against his broad chest. He hugged her tightly for a long time. She relaxed into the feeling, savouring the sensation of Roman just holding her. She drew his warmth and strength into her body and breathed deeply, taking in his scent. He smelled like hard male. A little like masculine deodorant, sweat and something indefinable but utterly mouth-watering.

"You still need the pain I can give you, Katie," he murmured against the top of her head. "Can see the numbness in your eyes. The need for an adrenaline spike. You get it from somewhere else these days. And unless you want to tell me where you're getting it and let me judge the safety of it, you'll be getting what you need from me."

Katie stiffened in his arms. How dare he ruin her perfectly wonderful hug with such arrogance! She wasn't going to be able to tell him where she was getting her fix from because that would lead to a whole barrage of questions that she wasn't ready to answer. And he most certainly wasn't going to deem her time spent leaping around the tops of tall buildings safe.

So, she did something she didn't usually do. She got mad and swore, struggling in his arms in a futile attempt to dislodge his iron hold. "You know what, Roman? Fuck you, you don't get to tell me what to do!"

He chuckled and continued to hold her tight. "Actually, sweetheart, that's exactly that I am doing. Right now, I'm your judge, jury and executioner."

She froze in his arms, her eyes wide with apprehension. She hadn't considered that possibility. Her voice cracked as she forced herself to ask, "Are you going to kill me too, Roman?"

He took her by to shoulders and forced her back so quickly she stumbled, he looked her in the eyes, his filled with so much anger and disgust she knew right away that she'd said the wrong thing.

"Why the fuck would you say that, Katerina?" he thundered down into her face.

She flinched, blinking at his vehemence. She'd seen more emotion from him in less than a day together than she'd seen in seventeen years of knowing him. "Be-because you said about being my ex executioner," she stammered. "And you kill people. Roman, you killed Colin. God, I know I'm a huge pain in your ass, why wouldn't you just get rid of me once and for all."

"Fuck," he growled, taking a hand off her arm to shove it over his head in frustration. "She said you'd have low self esteem, but this is loca, mujer."

"Who said that?" Katie snapped. "Who have you been talking to about me?!"

"Never mind," he growled, dropping his other hand from her arm. "Take your dress off, Katie. Time to get some things straight between us. Only one way to do that."

Katie took a quick step away, eyeing him warily. She clutched at the front of her dress, not wanting to take it off while he was in this mood, but not really knowing how to get out of doing what he wanted. Roman was more than twice her size, leagues more vicious and street smart than she was and adept at pretty much any weapon he could get his hands on. Even if she managed to get hold of something to hit him over the head with, which she was seriously considering at the moment, she was pretty certain all she would do is piss him off and accomplish exactly nothing.

"Sh-shouldn't we put the food away before we do anything else?" she asked in a hopeful voice. "I mean, that's a lot of food you have sitting up there in the sun. What a terrible waste if it was to spoil while we while we"

Her face flared bright red and she cursed her fair complexion as her words ground to an embarrassed halt. She studied the deck with renewed interest, noting the pretty grey texture underneath the even prettier sandals she chose to go with the sun dress. They were slip-ons with blue and gold hearts stitched into the strappy material.

"Take the fucking dress off. Now," Roman growled, making Katie nearly jump out of her skin.

Holy crap! Could he be a little more impatient?

Her hands flew to the buttons between her breasts and, with a deep breath, she began unbuttoning the white material with agonizing slowness. She could feel his eyes holding her in place, urging her on, but also caressing every inch she revealed. Somehow, he gave her the strength to continue, even though it was him forcing her to get naked. Something she'd never done in front of anyone except Colin. She didn't count what had happened earlier, below deck, because Roman had torn the clothes from her body. This time he was forcing her to bare her own body. This was different, and infinitely harder.

When she'd unbuttoned the dress to her navel, she shrugged the straps off her shoulders and allowed the material to fall down her arms until the top of the dress pooled at her hips. He exhaled sharply. She shivered, partly under the onslaught of his relentless perusal and partly from the shadows where he had pulled her. They were standing in a covered section of the lower deck next to a wide lounge couch with a shaded canopy. This is where the hot tub was located along with a bar and an even lower veranda. The view would have been spectacular except Katie was preoccupied with not choking on her heart, which was currently clawing its way up her throat.

Her hands fell to her hips and she glanced up to finally look at her tormentor. His arms were crossed over his incredible chest, his dark, watchful eyes taking in every move she made like a hunting predator after a frightened rabbit. A tremor trickled down her spine, loosening the dress even more. The breath caught in her chest was becoming so painful she was forced to release it. At the same time, she pushed the material off of her hips and allowed it to fall at her feet.

She watched helplessly as his fists clenched against his biceps. He nodded toward her, indicating that she should remove the bikini she had put back on from their earlier encounter. She bit down hard on her lip to distract herself and reached behind her neck to untie the top before reaching behind her narrow ribcage and releasing the clip that held the top together. It fell away from her pale body to land on top of the abandoned dress. Without bothering to look up, she pulled the bikini bottoms down her thighs quickly and stepped out of both them and the sandals. Like ripping a band-aid off. Maybe not ultra-sexy, but at least she was finished.

She kept her eyes averted and waited for Roman to say or do something. She waited. And waited. Nothing happened. She started to cover herself with her hands but his voice reached out to lash her harshly from the shadows. "Don't!"

Her eyes jerked up in surprise. She thought maybe he was keeping her in suspense on purpose. Another game or something, but she could tell from the way he held himself that he was practically vibrating with tension. His big body was a mass of seething energy. He was holding himself back and she didn't understand why. The innocent question must have leapt into her eyes, because suddenly he uncoiled his long limbs and stalked toward her. Frozen to the spot, Katie was helpless as his legs ate up the space between them.

He circled around her, his low voice an intense growl as he answered her unspoken question. "Because I will truly hurt you if I touch you the way I want to right now, Katerina. I will take you and I will break you. We both need to see if what I have in mind of you will work, and for that I will have to control myself."

The breath hitched in and out of her lungs as she processed his words. "You you will?" she whispered. She didn't understand what he meant, but she wasn't brave enough to ask.

"Don't get me wrong, baby." He stood right behind her. She felt every move he made, the whisper of his hands and the sudden heat of his chest against her back as he reached for the hem of his shirt and peeled it off his body. He leaned into her until the front of his jeans barely grazed the curve of her bare ass. He whispered in her ear, "Want to fuck you like I want to take my next breath."

He trailed the blunt tips of his fingers over her waist as he stepped around her body to stand in front of her. He lifted her chin so she was forced to look up at him, showing him every vulnerable flicker that passed through her eyes.

"So, why don't you?" she asked, her words still a whisper on the breeze.

His dark eyes bore into hers as he confessed. "Haven't touched a woman in thirteen years. Not since before you asked me to walk away. Knew I would be back for you eventually. Knew no one else would be good enough to take the place of mi mujer, so I didn't bother looking."

Her lips parted in surprise. His thumb moved from her chin to gently rub against her lip. A tear trickled from the corner of her eye, but before it could make its way across her cheek, he captured it, as though telling her he was there now to intercept all of her tears. He lifted the wetness to his lips and licked away the evidence.

"I don't deserve you," she whispered, bringing her hand up in between them to touch his chest. She traced her fingers over the cross and then further, brushing her fingers over the large scrolling outline of her name across his left pectoral for the first time, as if finally admitting it was there. She'd known he had it, but touching it made it real.

He captured her fingers and brought them to his lips before murmuring, "You deserve everything and more, that's why I'll do anything to help you."

They stood that way, locked together in a bubble of their past and present. Finally, Roman asked, "Can you be brave for me?"

She thought about all he had done for her and all he had risked to finally be with her. She knew she couldn't stay with him long, but she could give him this.

She nodded, "Yes, Roman. I'll do whatever you want."