Chapter 79

~Kamari~

I wonder what Ignis is experiencing as I look at the blue skies. The freedom that comes from flying is unlike any other. You get to travel to places no one else could reach. Ryuu is right for wanting to leave and seek out his adventure. But would Ignis do the same? After thinking about it, I decided not to place a title on my whelps. Of course, there would be a Dragonborn to rule over Nivillia someday, but for now, it's me.

As I got to turn from the window, I heard a couple of familiar voices. I look over the balcony and see Aneth and Nye. My heart spikes at seeing Aneth and Nye. Goddess knows I haven't seen him in a while. I wanted to go down there, hug him, and feel his touch, but I couldn't do that for multiple reasons, and looking at their body language didn't seem like a good idea either. Nye's chest heaved up and down, and his closed fists looked tight. Aneth had his arms crossed, but I could see his nails digging into his skin as they spoke. My stomach knots up, wondering what they might be talking about. Maybe it's a good idea for all of us to go to the forests for a day. With my mind made up I search for Ryuu and Calea, I find them at the fountain and herd them along with me.

"Wait," Calea says, her footsteps are hurried, trying to keep up, while Ryuu slows down his gate, "We're going now?" I give her a sharp nod, "Yes. It will be good for everyone." I march outside, where Nye and Aneth are, I walk up to them, there eyes lock on me, and I look to Aneth, "I'm happy to see your feeling better." The tension in Aneth's body disappears, and he gives me a meek smile. Then I turn my attention to Nye, close the distance, and stroke my cheek, "Is there a reason you brought the witch with you?"

I roll my eyes, "You all need to start calling her Calea." Nye glances at Calea and then back to me, but before he parted his lips to say something, I gently kiss him. I indulge in the hum of his approval, and my forehead stays on him as I part, "Should I always have to silence you with my lips?" I whisper. His eyes lock with mine, a sliver of that half smirk that makes me weak in the knee shows, and his hand snaking its way around my waist makes my resolves start to melt. "Perhaps, Darling. Perhaps," the huskiness of his voice makes me want to act up in the worst ways. 

Oh, Good Goddess, help me…

Nye lifts my chin and claims another soft, tender kiss. My eyes closed for a moment longer before fluttering open up and death gripped by those frozen eyes, and it's not until Calea clears her throat that the hypnotic state breaks. I turn towards her and shake my head, "Um-We need to find Koa." I quickly focus on something else. "Father is in the water," Ryuu says, concentrating on braiding Calea's hair. I find myself remembering the first time I braided Ryuu's hair. I couldn't help but want those moments here and now. But all I could do was receive them in memory. I guess old habits die hard. However, going to the forest where Ryuu was born gave me a flicker of warmth. I wanted to go back. I look to Nye, "Can Koa find us by himself."

Nye shrugs one shoulder, "I suppose the serpent has enough brains." My eyes widen, and I mean to give Nye a disapproving look but end up snorting laughter. "Damn it," I curse under my breath. Sometimes I didn't know if I wanted to slap Nye or screw his brains out.

Both. Says the inner Harlot.

Ryuu stops mid-braid, leering at Nye, "Do you always speak this way of serpents? Do you not approve of me?"

I look from Nye and Ryuu and intervene, "No, Ryuu, Nye is–"

"You earned my respect the day you tore off the head of your kind," Nye says with a dead cold face, but I knew the meaning behind his words. Ryuu's leer turns into a smirk, and he continues to braid Calea's hair, but Calea contorts in confusion, "He what?" I smiled meekly, realizing Calea had a lot to learn, and before they left, I wanted to teach her all I could about Pride dynamics. Ryuu may have told her some things, but not all of them. "Then I guess we will be on our way. I don't know where Mael is, but he could find us if he wanted to." I grab Calea's hands, "Are you ready to go into my world?"

Calea's eyes brighten, and she nods, "Yes." To see Calea so accepting of what my world has become makes me unbelievably joyful. For a long time, I thought I was crazy for what I felt or did. Some of them were scary, and in dark moments, I wondered if my life was worth keeping. Even thinking about it now made my eyes burn. It made me realize that I hadn't told my Kingdom the darkest secret I had. That I killed the King, my father. My hands fall away from Calea momentarily, and a rush of dread comes over me. My body is suddenly clammy. What if I told them? Would it make me less worthy of being on the throne? I try to calm myself with deep breaths as I turn away and start walking, trying to get my head out of a darker place.

"Kamari?" I hear Calea speed walk to my side, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." I lie. My body is shaking.

Calea grabs my hand, bringing me to a halt. "I've known you for a long time, Kamari. And I know when you are lying." Calea cups my head between her hands and then places her forehead. My eyes start to burn, and it only increases, it suddenly feels hard to breath, my body feels frozen like i'm looking in the void of darkness. I grip Calea's forearms, "I don't want to fail, Calea." I choke out. I don't know, but I suddenly started feeling this way. I was fine a minute ago. "What's wrong with me?" Tears flood my cheeks; Calea holds me close, "It's okay, Kamari. It's a panic attack; this won't last." Calea's touch made me miss my mother. I suddenly felt heavier than I am, like my body was full of lead, and I dropped to my knees, and Calea kneeled with me.

I hear shuffling of feet, "Back off!" I hear Calea shout in a roughness I never knew she was capable of. Her grip around me tightens, "There are things you cannot deal with so easily with strength and fire." In Calea's arms, I felt different, like I could break, and maybe she could put me back together. I desperately wanted to believe it because I had no idea why I was like this. "I'm so scared of fucking this up. I feel like such a monster. I wish I were like you, Calea; I wish I had your pureness."

I feel Calea lay her chin on mine, "Pure doesn't mean innocent, Kamari. We all have our demons. I have them, too." She pauses, stroking my hair. "You have such duality, Kamari. You're not alone in this struggle. Even the strongest break and that's okay." I feel my breath coming back to me slowly; a warmth from nowhere starts to calm me. Maybe it was Calea's presence, but whatever it is, I'm thankful for it. I lift my head and wipe my eyes, sniffling. Calea wipes my tears with thumb, "Now, why don't you take me to where Ryuu was born." Her smile makes my heart feel lighter. But it's then that It starts to sink in. Calea would leave with Ryuu when they decided to. I just prayed it wasn't soon, and it might be pitiful to feel, but I still needed her. It's the people you have a solid attachment to that make you feel like a piece of you has gone with them when they leave, and she hasn't even left yet.