Jokes

------Start of this chapter is just jokes, just some of my favorite jokes I want to share.-----

I finally made it to king kai's planet and dropped to my knees rubbing my head.

"Heyo! You are one of the fighters sent from Earth?"

"Yeah, Fuck that bridge by the way!"

"Hohoho! It is pretty long isn't it."

"FUCK THAT BRIDGE! IT IS NOT THE LENGTH!" Snake way was difficult for people in different ways. The checkpoints were to distract some, The length would push the lazy, and the goddamn ending is for the focused! It was a literal test of the mind body and soul.

King Kai just rubbed his chin. "Are you done?"

"I am never done..."

"I'm just gonna move on then, I heard there was 5 of you."

I shrugged, "Aren't you able to watch them?"

King Kai gave me the side eye and shrugged. "Weeeeeell! Tell me some jokes to pass the time then."

I stared at him. "Eh, sure. What do you call a Snowman who contracted Vampirism."

King Kai clapped, "oh it's Frostbite!"

"Really? Okay, What makes your day?"

King Kai scratched his chin, "Hmmmm, I don't know what makes my day?"

"The rotation of the planet!" I gave jazz hands as I delivered the punchline.

"My planet doesn't rotate."

...

...

"Fuck you."

"No need to be rude, how about I tell a joke."

"Sure, what do you have."

"What do you call a snake in a knot."

"Princess snake or a Sknot."

King Kai froze and looked down. "Sknot, I like that. How did you know Princess Snake was tangled up?"

Well I figured it was how they would escape Princess Snake. That's how Goku did it in... "I got a joke! Okay so a rope walks into a bar, and the bartender says we don't serve ropes here. So the

rope goes outside and tangles himself all up and does his hair all funny, and walks back inside. And the bartender says, Aren't you the rope I just kicked out a moment ago? And the rope says, No I'm a frayed knot. Then he got raped because rope jokes aren't funny."

King Kai was stunned by my greatness. "D-Don't feel good about that one. The beginning was good, but... I feel like there is missing context."

"Is there?" I was pretty sure that was the whole joke. Maybe I was missing something.

"I once tried starting a hermits association club in my neighborhood"

Piccolo landed on the planet and joined into the jokes. "What?"

"It was really nice. No one turned up, but think I'm on to something."

That one was pretty good actually. It also was fitting of both Piccolo's lifestyle.

"I am not a hermit! I live here with my monkey, Spirit Cricket, and a pirate sealed inside of my planet."

"YRRRR! Do not mention me! I am trying to sleep."

It seemed King Kai took Piccolo's joke as personal. it made sense though, "Hey wait a fucking moment Bojack can hear us?"

"Are you deaf young lad. ye can clearly hear me can't you?"

King Kai stopped on his planet, "Shut up Bojack!"

"ARRR, Hold on how did the lad know my name? Am I still famous?"

I shrugged, "Fuck if I know."

"Haha! I beat Goku and Krillin! Woooah!"

Yamcha showed up right at the perfect time. he landed on the planet and immediatly collapsed do to the gravity. "A little help?"

I gave him look of do it yourself. He was completely ignored by Piccolo and King Kai just looked at him pitifully. Yamcha began a short struggle to get up and wobbled slightly. "You know you could've mentioned something about this wicked pressure."

I motioned to King Kai, "He had approximately 10 godly ki, if you turn 1 god ki into normal ki that's about a forth of a million. How much ki do you have Yamcha?"

Yamcha was about to rebuke me, but he put his finger down. "What's god ki?"

King Kai also side eyed me, "I don't mean to be pretentious, but its nothing a mortal can achieve normally." King Kai moved his glasses up and explained some more. "However Kais are born with about 10 god ki normally. To obtain god ki one has to achieve a certain mortal level. Mortal Level is complicated and I don't really need to explain it. Finally before you ask, having god ki does not make one strong. In a fight I would lose 70/100 times against you."

That was something I didn't know, well I mean it made a lot of sense. Kais had god ki however The Cardinal Kais would lose in a fight. Although it would mean that the there expertise in training and ki techniques would come from their innate god ki.

"So could I become a god?"

I almost laughed, if Yamcha became a god I would make him a girlfriend. King Kai responded pretty calmly though. "A mortal can become a god under certain circumstances however as you are now. At most you could achieve an individual mortal level of 8 and be able to temporarily condense your normal ki into god ki. It wouldn't boost your strength, but you would most certainly become more skilled."

That took me again, that kind of sounded like Ultra instinct, but like shitter and more achievable. Now that I think about it... "Is that a technique created by a kai?"

King Kai smiled, "A technique created by Grand Kai for the Dead heroes in the afterlife."

He was probing me... I couldn't just fake knowing about the Grand Kai. However, I suppose that might be a technique hold close to the dead. Since if someone learned it and got wished back by the dragon balls they could become a problem.

I shrugged, "We should start training."

I knew Piccolo was likely engaging in mental combat for his training. As a being with magic that shit was like a cheat skill. King Kai sighed, "The first training will be catching bubbles."

The monkey started to run and I created a force field around him bubbling, bubbles. "Ha, I bubbled Bubbles, I'm hilarious."

"Incredible! Ki mental formation! Color me surprised, I have a different training for you. Yamcha Catch bubbles."

Yamcha looked at the monkey and took a slow step. "mother fucker..."

King Kai pointed at me and pointed to the clouds. "Create a mental formation around those clouds. Doing that will strength your ki formations."

"I call them force fields." "Fine create a forcefield around the clouds."

That seemed pretty simple, I created a bubble around a cloud and my forcefield broke. The cloud then rolled out of where I caught it. I sighed as I saw where this was going.

"WE MADE IT GUYS!"

"Wow check this gravity out! Yamcha this is crazy!"

Krillin and Goku made it, Krillin looked fine handling the Gravity. He still struggled, but compared to Yamcha. Krillin could likely sprint.