4

MILA, Peeta's employer, medically analyzes Katniss. Being an AI, she won't likely take long to find what's wrong with Peeta's wife.

From another room, Peeta watches. He can't remember the last time he saw his wife sleep. She looks so angelic when she sleeps. And yet, he misses somebody while watching her sleep...

"You should relax, Mr. Mellark," MILA says. "Research suggests that the best of people who go to extremes to protect their loved ones have a 93% chance of becoming any and every threat they toil to protect them against."

"SHUT UP," Peeta shouts. "I'm not giving up on my wife."

Peeta keeps watching her. MILA's still analyzing her.

"Research also says," MILA adds, "that men who spend too much time obsessing over particular women end up becoming emotional clones of them. I recommend..."

"You know what, MILA? I don't care that you're my boss. And I sure as hell don't care that you could fire me for saying this. But please, just do your job, and stop telling me how to love my wife."

"I cannot terminate you because you insult me, Mr. Mellark. I am an AI; insults neither hurt nor influence me."

The janitor slips in. He invites Peeta to play some water polo on the weekend.

"WILL YOU PLEASE JUST GET OUT OF HERE," Peeta shouts. "I'M TRYING TO FIX WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY WIFE!"

The janitor shivers, and leaves. MILA compliments him on his work, to which he only gives a thumbs-up before leaving.

"There was no need to scream at the janitor, Mr. Mellark," MILA reminds him. "He was just trying to encourage..."

"I don't need to have this conversation, MILA. Just fix what's wrong with my wife so I can get back to my ordinary monotonous life-no rhyme intended, FYI."

"I might have to recommend you for psych-eval, Mr. Mellark, with your consent..."

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY WIFE?!"

MILA finishes the analysis. To Peeta, it feels like forever.

"It seems Mrs. Mellark has earned a clean bill of health. Her liver's damaged...but I've seen worse. Her blood pressure's a little high...but then again, she is a married woman in a part-time state of estrus. I prescribe fewer barrels of Kaintuck bourbon, and immediate release."

"What?! No, MILA, you can't release her! I'm telling you, she's crazy! That woman is a threat to District 7 if you let her go!"

"I have a job, Mr. Mellark. I've done it. And as it is protocol forbids me to do work at these hours. I could analyze her again for you, but I'd have to charge you this time-and the charge for each subsequent time would be more than its previous, in accordance with my protocols."

"Fuck your protocols, MILA! Katniss needs a cure! Katlanna Snowdeen needs to die! I NEED MY LIFE BACK!"

"Your free session is over, Mr. Mellark. It's time to go home."

With that, all of the power shuts off in the hospital. The back door unlocks itself, and swings open. Above it, the letters on the EXIT sign vanish, and a timer appears. It starts counting down from fifteen minutes-how long the Mellarks have got before the back door locks itself, and they're locked in for the rest of the night.

Peeta sighs, picks up Katniss, hangs her from his shoulder, and leaves. She may be heavy...but he's just now realizing how convenient a grief pillow her ass makes as it's right up against the side of his face, as he's carrying her.