Thoughts

After your emotional talk with Sam, you watched him walk away, making no attempt to follow him. The tears that you hardly ever let fall, dropped down your cheeks, and you hastily brushed them away just as Bobby's voice boomed from behind you. "You're a Reaper." He started but it didn't sound like an insult. "Can't you figure out a way to stop him, to make all of this work without him sacrificing himself. Talk to Death maybe?"

You turned to face the older man, your pain filled eyes answering him when your voice wouldn't work.

"Didn't think so, but it was worth a shot." He said, pulling a bottle of whiskey from a cabinet.

"Bobby..." You started, and he gathered you in his arms, holding you tight, knowing what you needed.

"Shh, girl." He said, rubbing your back before holding you at arm's length. "Dry those tears. We need to put a strong front on, for Sam. And I didn't think Reapers cried, anyways."

You sniffed back your tears, cracking a small smile. "I'm not like most Reapers."

"Yeah, I think I've figured that out." He said, handing you a glass of whiskey.

Taking a sip, you choked at the heat sliding down your throat before settling in your belly. "Wow." You coughed, taking a much smaller sip this time.

"You'll get used to it." Bobby said, as Sam and Dean came back through the door, with equal looks of sadness, but acceptance.

Sam went over and grabbed the keys to Bobby's van. "I'm going to run into town for supplies. Want anything?"

After Bobby had given Sam a list, you went into his study, grabbing a random book, before settling down on the window seat, your legs tucked underneath you.

It was only moments later Dean joined you in the study, grabbing a chair and turning it backwards before sitting down. He didn't say anything, so you concentrated on the book in your hands. It was written in an old forgotten language, but you could still read it. It was something about the apocalypse, but so far hadn't given any new information out.

"Did he tell you his plans?" Dean finally said, making you jump.

Sitting the book down, you turned your full attention on Dean. "Yeah, he just did."

He ran a hand through his hair, making it stand up on end. His lips were puckered and you could sense the unease and frustration rolling off of him in waves. "And, you agreed with it?"

You could tell he was itching for a fight, needing some sort of release, someone else to blame it on. "Not really. I said I would support his decision, but truthfully? It's killing me inside. I don't want him to get locked into the pit for all eternity."

Your words took the fight right out of Dean, you watched his shoulders slump. "Is there anything you can do to stop him?"

You shook your head. "I wish there was. But I can't think of anything, and I know Death would have said something."

He nodded, before standing up and pacing the room. "I told him that I didn't like it, but that I would support his decision. But, I don't know if I will be able to stand by and watch him throw himself in there."

"You can, and you will. Because you will be there, to support him. Because no matter what, you are his big brother."

He nodded, showing you eyes filled with tears. Tears that only brought out the green in them. "Is there any way, once he's gone, to bring him back? To go to hell? You're a Reaper, maybe you have connections? Or maybe you can take me with you, and we can bust him out?"

You hated this, the fact that you would have to break his hope, to let him know that you had made a promise. A promise that you didn't want to keep, but that you knew you had to. "Dean, I want to. In the worst way. You need to know that. I even already talked to Sam about it, telling him I would find a way. But he...he made me..."

Dean nodded, brushing away the tear that slipped down his cheek. "He made you promise you wouldn't do it. That you wouldn't risk yourself for trying to save him. That's Sammy for ya."

You nodded, feeling the tears clogging your throat as the both of you felt the pain of knowing you were going to lose him. "When is this going down?" You asked him, hoping you had at least a little bit of time before you had to say goodbye.

"I don't know. Soon I guess." Dean shrugged. 

"I want to be there, through everything. I hope you will let me." You said, wanting him to understand that you weren't just there for the good days. You wanted them, plus anything else you could get, with Sam.

He gave you a tired, half baked smile, before pressing his hand on your shoulder. "I didn't expect anything different. And that's why I feel bad that I kicked you out. You didn't deserve that, and Sammy deserves to be happy. For as long as he has left on Earth."

He left you alone then, and you sat there, chewing on your bottom lip,wishing you would have more time with Sam, wishing he was a Reaper so you didn't have to worry about things like this. But you knew everything always came to and end, after all it was your job to be there in the end.

Hugging your knees to your chest, you wondered what would happen when Sam was gone. Would Dean survive, and if he did would he want to have anything to do with you? Could you even be around him after losing Sam? In reality, you thought if everything went through as planned, then the two of you would want nothing to do with each other.

"Penny for your thoughts?" You heard Sam say from the door frame. He was leaning against the faded trim, his arms crossed against his red and blue flannel. His shoulders bulged, almost bursting through the seams, his jeans faded and worn. He had a tired smile on his face, his hazel eyes unreadable in the darkened room. 

"Not even worth a penny." You answered, still hugging your knees to your chest, not wanting to move from your spot on the window seat. He moved forward, and it was then you noticed a bag in his hand. Raising an eyebrow, you waited for his move.

He sat down next to you, taking up the rest of the room of the small seat. He handed you the bag, and you opened it up, laughing when you noticed the chocolate cupcake. "I thought you might like a treat. I'm not sure if you've ever had cake before."

"I haven't." You said, looking at the sugary confection. It was chocolate on the bottom, with chocolate icing, and an icing heart piped on top. It was larger than those you had seen, in it's own special container.

Opening it, you pulled off the paper wrapper, before looking Sam's way. "Can we split it?" You asked him, and he nodded. Holding it up to his lips, he opened his mouth, taking a bite. Pulling it back, you laughed at the chocolate crumbs coating his bottom lip. You took your thumb, wiping them from his mouth, but he caught your hand, holding your thumb to his lip. His mouth still open, he sucked your thumb into his mouth, licking the crumbs from it. You sat there motionless, the movement of his tongue against your thumb, giving you a weird, tingling sensation low in your belly.

He let go, and you dropped your hand, the cupcake almost completely forgotten in your other. "Aren't you going to try it?" He asked you, and you looked down at it. He took it from you, putting it up to your mouth. "Bite." He ordered, and you did, the chocolate exploding on your taste buds. 

"Wow!" You mumbled through a mouth full of cake. "It's really sweet, and rich, and wow." You tried explaining.

He nodded, taking another small bite for himself, before handing you the rest. "I don't do sweets very often. But if I do, chocolate is my favorite."

"Dude, where's the pie?" You heard Dean yelling from the kitchen, breaking the spell that Sam had seemed to have woven around you with the cupcake. 

"In the fridge!" Sam yelled back, as you finished off the cupcake. "Do you mind if we head up to my room? I'm beat, but I would like to talk to you, in private."

"Sure." You answered, letting him guide you out of the room, and up the stairs. You made your way into the spare room, where Sam's stuff was sprawled across the dresser. You stood there awkwardly, waiting for more direction from Sam.

"I hope you don't mind, but I was hoping you could sleep here, with me tonight. We don't have much time left together, and I want to spend as much of it with you as possible." He said, handing you one of his t-shirts. Without thinking, you pulled your shirt over your head, just standing there in your plain bra as you started to unbutton your pants. You looked up to see Sam standing there, his mouth hanging open, and it was then you realized that maybe you should be a little more reserved. But as a Reaper, modesty wasn't part of the equation.

"Sorry." You muttered, blushing a little.

"Don't stop on my account." He said, his voice deeper than normal, his hazel eyes darkening. 

Pulling your pants down, you stood there in your cotton bra and panties, grabbing his shirt to pull it on, but he grabbed you, pulling you tight to his chest, pressing his lips tight to yours. You grasped his shirt, letting him ravish your mouth. 

"Are you okay with this? If we do this, and more?" He asked, rubbing his hands up and down your smooth skin. 

You nodded, wrapping your arms around his chest, loving the feel of his hands on you, feeling something pool deep in your belly, a deep yearning for more.

"Have you done anything like this?" He asked, as he nibbled on your lips.

You shook your head, as he gently guided you back to the bed, laying you down softly on it, pressing his body tightly to yours, and you moaned at the new sensations.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you." He promised, and fulfilled that promise amazingly well.