Will never look the same

*hello* *hello* *hello*. this happened back in May, but finally sitting down to write it. *let me set the scene*. i don't know if other states have these types of areas, but where i live there are park-like areas on residential streets. so they are like parking through a park, but there are house. they are somewhat private because, ya know, people live there, but you can like walk/run on the road.

So one day i decided to run to one of these parks that was 4 miles away, so in total my run was gonna be 8 miles. Run was meh, but once i got to the park i was just in awe how pretty, quiet, and secluded it was. i took a few pics, run a bit, stop, take more pics, and make sure cars driving by didn't hit me. I was a bit on edge as i continued down the road because i began to realize that i am in a very secluded place and if i need a friend, i am 4 miles away and will have to wait. but i was like *nahhh*, you're good but let's finish this run to get back.

So as i mentioned, there were a few cars that drove past me. and i'd move into a driveway or well-off on the side of the road so they could pass. it was a one-way street so wasn't super wide, but wasn't narrow either. There was a postal car doing his job and cars were easily able to pass around him. I noticed this one car stopped behind me and i thought i recognized it earlier on when i started down this road. i thought maybe he wanted to make sure he had room around the postal car and me, so moved into a driveway. but the car didn't move. *well*. it was moving, but at a pace that was so friggin slow that it looked like he was just stopped. my adrenaline kicked into high gear, but i just waited patiently as the post man was getting mail out from his car, because i immediately felt that i needed witnesses and couldn't be alone. love that those are my immediate thoughts as a female..

So finally, the car pulls up to me and all i can think is *please dont talk to me*. and then i realized oh he definitely is because he rolled his window down as he was approaching. then i told myself *for once, for the love of god,* **dont** *be your overly polite self*. the car pulls up and stops by me and he says in a calm voice "dont worry.. i wasn't gonna hit ya." he kinda chuckles to himself and smiles (probably waiting for me to respond or smile back), and i just stand there and look down at my phone gripping it ready to call the police just in case. then he speeds away down the road and i dont see him through the trees.

I begin to panic. do i continue down the road and potentially see him again. do i tell the post man im scared risking covid potentially. do i run back the opposite way i came (which would've been difficult). i couldn't call my boyfriend at the time because he didnt have his phone on him and he's the only person i wanted to get me. so, i decided i was going to slowly jog down the road and if i saw the car or him i was going to haul ass back to the post man or up someone's driveway. i jogged down the winding road and didn't see him. t god. *maybe i just am overthinking and assuming*. i ran almost another mile enjoying nature again and then what do i see. his car- parked and truck open. he is then pacing around his car. I asked myself again do i continue down th- *NOPE.* my body didnt let me even ask and hauled assed back to where there i remembered a fork in the road and ran down that street to finding find a more populated, less secluded residential neighborhood. i probably looked insane to these ladies trying to gossip and walk their dogs because i was exhausted from this long ass run (that isn't over) and just sprinting. now all i could think about was *hell no, he is NOT hurting me, my commencement is this week i worked too damn hard for this old man to potentially do something and ruin this for me*. so finally my boyfriend calls me back and i explain everything and he's telling me if i take this one road i can get to a main street and run that back. i decided i was going to run back because i felt more comfortable on a busy, main street and even if i saw him, i knew his car and i can just call the police at that point.

i was running fairly fast back considering i just ran 6 miles and had 2 miles still. but i was angry. angry that this guy ruined my run that was so peaceful, ruined my sense of safety, ruined my sense of independence as a female. i think if i would've saw his car or him, id fight the shit out of him. as i ran, i kept looking around for his car, and i stopped every so often and let myself cry a bit.

i got back to my boyfriend's house and he comforted me and was just shocked by all of this and felt bad i went through it all. but i was still fueled with rage. i never called the police, and wish i did. i felt like i wouldn't know what to tell them or if they would do much about my situation because i wasn't attacked but i would have wanted someone to patrol that area or something to protect future girls like me.