Online date gone wrong

So, to start, I'm a transgender woman. I'm single and I make my status as trans very clear on all my dating profiles... except PlentyOfFish, because they consider that to be 'talking about sex', and they will straight up ban you... so I state instead that I'm a huge proponent of trans rights.

So this guy messages me, he lives about an hour away. Kinda cute in a mildly creepy way, like... something seems a little off about him but people can't help how they look, so I give him a chance, just like I would want.

I discover he's a smoker, but he says he's trying hard to quit and only does when he's really stressed or upset.

We have a nice conversation and finally he asks for my number, and without thinking about it, I give him the number but tell him I'm getting ready for my evening classes so I'll be slow to respond.

A few minutes go by and I get.

"Hi! It's (username) from PoF."

Now, usually, I send - standard quick message, "Hi, it's Allie, so... just to be clear since my profile might be a little vague, I'm a transgender woman. I know that's not everyone's cup of tea so if you're not interested I completely understand."

About 20% of the time the guy isn't interested and gets rude and needs to be blocked and the other 80% is split between immediate inappropriate questions and dick pics, casual acceptance, or dead silence.

But like I said, I was getting ready to go to class, so I hadn't sent the message yet.

A few minutes go by and I'm about to text him my standard when I get another text:

"Who the fuck is (full deadname), why is he paying your cellphone bill?"

Me: "Where did you even get that name?"

Him: "Answer the question, who is he?"

I'm honestly stunned at this point, and I realize he's must have paid one of those shady websites that offer personal info for a fee.

"Well if you must know, I'm transgender and that used to be my name. I was about to tell you when you pulled that stunt. Please do us both a favor and lose my number, that's incredibly invasive and I don't want to talk to you anymore."

"Do you still live at (my address at the time) in (hometown)? I'm coming to see you so we can talk about this in person."

Me, lying: "No, I moved a few months ago, and I'm getting ready to head out like I said, you need to leave me alone. Don't contact me again."

Him: "Since you have something to hide I'm going to run a full background check on you. You lied to me and I don't appreciate that."

Me: "I'm sending screencaps of this conversation, your PoF profile and your photos to my two best friends who work in law enforcement in your town and my ex boyfriend who I'm still on good terms with who works for the local sheriffs office. Don't text me again."

I didn't hear anything else from him for a few weeks. I made sure my doors and windows were locked, and the aforementioned friends and ex would check up on me from time to time. Eventually it just became one of those weird things that makes you laugh uneasily.

And then one day I thought I saw him at the local grocery store. Same dark hair, thick glasses frames, and just... creepy guy, staring at me, watching me as I shopped.

I texted my ex about it, and as an upswing on things, my ex and I got back together in a casual sort of way, and he stayed the night a few times a month off and on.

One night when I was alone though, I just kept getting this weird feeling, and smelling smoke. I lived in a little apartment complex that were three separate apartments that shared walls, but no plumbing or air ducts. I don't smoke and I'm very sensitive to the smell thanks to asthma. The apartment had a wall unit AC, so I turned it off since it was apparently pulling air in from a neighbor's guest who must have been chain smoking, I thought.

I had an ASL video due the next morning, so I was up all night practicing and recording the video, signing the same story over and over again until it was almost a dance rather than narration. A couple of times I had to restart the video because my cat was going nuts.

Finally around 7am I had the video finished and sent in, and was ready for bed, so I double checked all the doors and windows were locked, set an alarm and went to sleep.

I woke up and got ready for school, was running a bit late and had to hurry out the door, but I noticed something weird but didn't have time to stop and register it.

Classes went smoothly, I got an A on my ASL video, and I stopped for groceries on my way home from class.

As I got home I saw what had been bugging me. Each apartment had a small garden on each side of the porch. Mine was nothing but gravel and pavers the previous tenant had put in, but it was tidy... except for a pile of cigarette butts that looked like someone had dumped their car ashtray in my garden.

There was no other trash, just that pile... right in front of my bedroom window.

I don't think anything about it at first, and just get a broom and dust pan and sweep it up. As I'm doing it my neighbor, an old man, comes out and asks if my boyfriend ever got ahold of me. I ask him what he means, he tells me there was a young man waiting for me on my front porch off and on for a few hours last night, that he'd seen the guy around before and thought he was my boyfriend.

I ask what he looked like. Dark hair, thick glasses, chain smoking.

I text the on again off again ex, cops take statements and I give them the screenshots. I moved out of state a few weeks later, for unrelated reasons, and have legally changed my name since, with closed records.

I don't give guys my number anymore. Ladies and my fellow queer family, use a texting app until you get to know someone, because for like 5$ creeps can get everything from your number.