eight

𝗗𝗘𝗘

𝗝𝘂𝗹𝘆 𝟭𝟰, 𝗦𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗱𝗮𝘆, 𝟮 𝗽.𝗺.

I waited for Gwen and Helen inside Fully Booked in ATC. We decided last night that today would be a good day to hang out together. We had not done so in ages. The last time we went out was when I bought the Naruto manga I brought with me on our first day in Miwako.

I was in the aisle where the shelves in front of me were filled with manga. Tapos ko na yung Volume 51 ng Naruto, so I was searching for 52.

Yesterday, nakausap na namin ang PAD para sa tulong nila sa project namin. I could not help but think na we were still lucky talaga. I got to spend time with a very famous band and mas madali na lang ang lahat. Even Gwen was lucky kasi sabi nga ni Paris, hindi naman papayag si Kuya Warren na mahuli ang kapatid niya. We started calling them 'kuya' na kasi nakakahiyang tawagin sila sa name lang nila when talking to them in person.

Shishi and I never had a proper conversation though. I attempted to have one with him, kasi kailangan talaga dahil I needed his decision kung aling kanta ba talaga yung gusto niya as he had three in his list. When I asked him, he got mad, saying na I should not be atat kasi hindi pa naman daw bukas yung pasahan. Wala siyang point sa sinabi niyang yun kasi kaya kami nandoon ay para i-iron out yung details.

The plan was kapag walang practice or gig ang PAD, that was when they would help us. So kailangang mag-practice din ako nang mag-isa para naman hindi nakakahiya sa kanila. Baka kasi maabala sila nang sobra. Sobrang busy pa naman nila.

And my application form was already submitted. So starting from yesterday's date, I was an official cosplayer na for OT.

"Dee!"

Lumingon ako sa mga tumawag sa akin and napangiti ako when I saw my best friends.

"Okay, kayo na ang laging sabay," sabi ko, faking my pagtatampo.

"Hindi kaya! We just met d'yan sa entrance," Gwen said.

"So kapag may date bukas, kailangan kulot na agad today?" I teased while I caressed a tress of Gwen's hair.

Tumigil si Helen sa pag-browse ng mga manga at nag-smirk sa amin. Napatingin din sa kanya si Gwen but hinampas niya ako agad sa braso.

"Gaga. Wavy talaga hair ko." Gwen turned to the shelves din. "Did they restock or what?"

"Customer service rep ba ako?" Helen asked sarcastically kaya hinampas din siya ni Gwen sa braso.

Hindi rin kami nagtagal sa bookstore kasi we did not find anything interesting to buy. Kaya we went to a café na lang.

"So kailan mo sasakalin yung crush mong salbahe, babe?" Helen asked as she took a bite from her cookie.

"He's not my crush nga," I insisted.

"Kaya pala parang ang happy mo masyado kahapon."

"Kasi full package na siyang maka-partner. Aren't you happy na si Paris ang partner mo? Guaranteed na hindi ka babagsak."

She made a sour face. "I can pass on my own, thank you very much. Nakakainis kasi siyang kausap, alam niyo yun? I don't know. Every time he opens his mouth, naiinis ako."

I almost spat out my drink. "Baka ikaw ang may crush sa kanya!"

"Eww, no. Hindi ko siya type. And magmumukha kaming magtatay."

Biglang tumawa si Gwen. She was on her phone since we sat. I would bet na si Kyo ang kausap niya. I did not mind kasi she looked happy, but Helen had been glaring at Gwen's phone kanina pa. Ayaw kasi ni Helen ng distraction kapag na-focused na kami sa kwentuhan.

"You're so happy rin, ha," Helen said.

"No, sorry." Pinigilan ni Gwen yung tawa niya. "Look kasi, oh. Kyo sent me this. Eto raw yung naiwan natin kagabi."

Muntik na rin masamid si Helen pagkakita niya sa picture. Ako naman, hindi ko alam kung tititigan ko yun o tatawa rin. It was Shishi kasi. Nakaupo siya sa isang steel chair and he was asleep. Pero nakanganga siya. Parang sobrang lalim ng tulog niya. Like yung galing sa sobrang puyat or pagod.

"Your crush is so cute naman pala," sabi ni Helen.

"Again, hindi ko siya crush," I said in a sing-song voice.

"Don't us. You always stare at him."

"Okay lang 'yan, Dee," sabi naman ni Gwen kaya hindi agad ako nakapag-rebut kay Helen. "At least you're focusing on someone else na, right? And you have a guild na rin, so mas marami kang pagtutuunan ng attention mo."

"Yeah, but hindi ko nga siya crush."

"'Wag ka talagang magkakagusto dun." Helen looked me in the eye. "Masama ugali no'n. He doesn't deserve you. Look for someone nice."

"Si Paris lang naman ang kilala nating nice," Gwen said kaya parehas kaming napatingin sa kanya. She put the spoon she used to eat her ice cream down. "What? Totoo naman. Umm, excluding Kyo. Si Paris na lang natitira."

"Babe, oh, binubugaw sa'kin boyfriend mo."

Helen flipped me the bird. "Sa'yong sa'yo na yun. Basta 'wag lang si Shishi. I heard from Amy na he hooks up with his groupies."

"What?" Muntik na akong masamid din. "Seryoso? He didn't strike me that way."

"Yeah, but don't be too disappointed. Halatang halata sa'yo, eh." Helen tapped my cheek lightly. "Kaya nga sabi ko, 'wag kang magkakagusto dun. He won't be worth it."

"Akala ko rumors lang yung mga nasa Kurai Miwako," sabi ko. Tama naman si Helen. Disappointed nga ako. Akala ko kasi may pagka-Dao Ming Si siya. "I mean, ang dami kasi dun na pictures ng girls na naka-collage kasama ng picture niya."

There were a ton of those. Okay, scratch that. I saw at least a dozen yata. I forgot. But the bottom line was totoo nga. It said there that he slept with those girls but none of them were from our school. The conclusion was that he never hooked up with our schoolmates kasi sabi ng mga nasa Kurai Miwako, baka raw masyadong maging clingy sa kanya. Which made sense. But I was doubtful until now. I had read them a long time ago. I got curious but that was it. Kaso iba yung sipa ngayon. Siguro kasi dahil they turned out to be true.

Gwen smiled. "But he always looks at you."

"Ano ba, Gwen, don't add fuel to the fire," saway ni Helen. "Baka lalong ma-fall 'tong isa. We'll keep her away nga, eh."

"Excuse me, nandito pa rin naman ako," sabi ko. Hinawakan ko pa si Gwen sa braso to get her full attention. "Wait. Does he always look at me?"

Helen groaned while Gwen said yes. Napaisip tuloy ako kahit I knew na hindi dapat.

It was past eight in the evening when we decided to call it a day. Pagod na rin kasi kami because of our paggala sa mall. We bought some stuff din. Mainly new clothes lang and things to decorate our own rooms with. It was one thing na pinagkakasunduan naming tatlo, apart from anime. We all loved to show our artistic sides sa pag-aayos ng rooms namin. But of course, walang binatbat yung sa akin sa rooms nilang dalawa. I was not that artistic to begin with. So sometimes tinutulungan din nila ako.

When I got home, I went straight to my room to take a shower. My parents were not home. Mom attended a wedding of one of her friend's daughter sa Vigan. She was a major sponsor. Monday pa ang uwi niya. Dad was in Dasma with Tito Gary naman. After freshening up and drying my hair, I went out to buy snacks because I planned to watch One Piece. I was so behind na.

While I lined up to pay for my purchase, the door opened and nagkatinginan agad kami ng pumasok. His face was quickly pulled by a wide grin and he walked over to me.

"Hey, anong ginagawa mo dito?"

Paris still wore his smile kahit nasa harap ko na siya. I needed to look up kasi mas matangkad pa siya kay Shishi, eh. Ngayon ko lang napansin na sobrang straight pala ng ngipin niya. Nakakainggit. I refused braces kasi kaya may isa akong tooth na sungki.

"Pustahan sa DOTA ulit," sabi niya. "Hindi ako naglalaro, eh. 4v4 lang yung match, kulang kasi players no'ng isang team. Pumusta lang ako. Si Kyo naglalaro."

I was tempted to ask kung nandoon din ba si Shishi but I stopped myself.

No, no, no. He's not always looking at me. Big NO. Nakakainis ka, Gwen.

"Ni-roll ulit pusta, eh. Unang pustahan 10K. Panalo kami. Kaso humingi ng rematch. Wala yatang pamasahe."

We both laughed.

"Bili lang akong beer, ah."

I said okay and paid for my snacks na rin. Pumila na rin siya pagkakuha niya ng anim na cans ng Red Horse and I waited for him. Sabay na kaming lumabas.

"Daming chichirya n'yan, ah," he said. "Movie trip?"

"Anime," medyo nahihiyang sabi ko. "You know naman, yun lang personality ko."

"Hindi, ah. Gusto mong tumambay?"

"Gusto mo lang yata ipulutan yung snacks ko, eh."

Tumawa siya. "Hindi 'no. Tara, tambay tayo."

Umupo kami sa gutter outside Mineski. The night was silent but we could hear the muffled noise from the people inside the internet café. Medyo malamig din, and buti na lang nag-hoodie ako.

"Nagpapatayan na yata sa loob," sabi ni Paris as he popped one can open. He offered it to me kaya kinuha ko. "Dahan dahan, ah. First time mo yata, eh."

"I got this," sabi ko pa. I took a long swig and immediately regretted it. Dapat pala sinunod ko yung warning niya. Hindi talaga masarap ang beer. Muntik ko nang ma-spit. "No, ayoko pala talaga nito."

He laughed again. "Wait, ibibili kita ng mas masarap d'yan."

Before ko pa siya mapigilan, pumasok na ulit siya sa store. Pagbalik niya, may dala siyang dalawang bottle ng San Mig na bukas na parehas.

"Flavored beer," sabi niya at inabot sa akin yung isa. Then he placed the other beside my snacks. "Masarap 'yan. Mas gusto ko lemon, pero binilhan din kita ng apple."

I tasted it and he was right. Mas kaya ko 'to.

"Sarap, 'di ba?"

I nodded. "Thanks."

"Buksan na natin 'tong V-Cut mo, ah," natatawang sabi niya. Hindi niya na nga ako hinintay na pumayag kasi binuksan niya na. Sira ulo talaga. "So anong ginawa mo maghapon?"

"Hmm? Wala, gumala lang kami nila Gwen sa ATC."

"Ah. Kasama niyo si Helen?"

I had no idea why, but napangiti ako. "Yeah. Ikaw, ah. Bakit mo tinatanong?"

He made a face. "Wala lang, masama ba? Nag-text kasi ako sa kanya kanina kung nakaisip na ba siya ng kantang gusto niya kaso hindi nag-reply."

"Ah. Sabi mo, eh."

"Oo nga." Uminom muna siya. Ngayon ko lang napansin na yung can na ininom ko kanina yung iniinom niya ngayon. Wala pang kalahati yung bawas ng bottle ko pero parang nag-iinit na yung mukha ko. "Bakit ba ang init ng ulo lagi sa'kin no'n? Mabait naman ako."

"Hindi kaya."

"Oy, mabait ako. 'Di ba? Mabait naman ako, ah. Ang bait ko kaya sa'yo. Nililibre nga kitang lunch lagi."

"Fine, you win," sabi ko.

"Oks naman kayo ni Gwen sa'kin. I mean, kung panget first impression niya sa'kin no'ng first day of school, dapat wala na yun, eh. Kasi kayo nga, wala na sa inyo agad no'ng araw ring 'yon. 'Di ba? Labo n'yang tropa niyo. May topak yata."

Natawa ako nang mahina. "Ewan ko. I noticed na mas mabilis na siyang ma-annoy since we transferred. Sa totoo lang, I blame myself for it."

Binaba niya yung can niya. "Bakit naman?"

I shrugged. "It was me who insisted that we transfer sa Miwako. Si Gwen lang yung gustong sumama at first kasi ayaw niya sa Fairfield. Medyo hindi kasi maganda experiences niya do'n. Pinilit niya lang din si Helen kaya ayun, eventually Helen agreed. But I know na napilitan lang siya."

"Mabait talaga si Gwen, 'no? Gusto ka niyang samahan, eh."

"Sobra. Kaya bagay sila ni Kyo kasi siya yung totoong mabait."

"Oy, sinungaling ka. Alam mong mabait talaga 'ko."

Natawa ako ulit. "Sige na nga. Pero bagay sila, 'di ba? Do you think Kyo likes my friend?"

"Oo naman," he said without missing a beat. "Iba ngiti ng pinsan ko palagi, eh. Alam mo yun? Parang ganito."

I snorted kasi ngumiti talaga siya. Yung ngiti niya na he labeled 'heartthrob' smile.

"Pero seryoso nga. Gusto no'n si Gwen. Medyo hindi lang masyadong marunong. First time manliligaw, eh. Kaya medyo mabagal pa. Pero hintay lang tayo. Malay mo, bukas sila na. May date daw sila, 'di ba?"

"Yeah! Excited na nga ako para sa kanila. Mas excited pa yata 'ko kay Gwen!"

Ngumiti siya ulit. "Cute mo, para kang bata."

I would admit na natigilan ako, but hindi niya yata napansin kasi nakabawi rin naman ako agad. "Cute lang, pero hindi parang bata."

"Okay." Mahina siya tumawa. Mauubos niya na agad yung pangalawang can niya based sa sound ng beer sa loob when he shook it lightly, while kalahati pa yung sa akin.

We were wrapped in silence, but it was not awkward. Siguro kasi naging ka-close ko na rin talaga si Paris over the last few weeks. Sobrang approachable niya kasi and lagi siyang nakikipagkwentuhan sa amin ni Gwen. Minsan nagkaka-text din kami pero saglit lang kasi nauubusan din kami ng topic. Kumustahan lang kapag weekends, gano'n. But we always hung out together sa school during free periods. Ang dami nga naming selfies, eh. Mahilig kasi siyang mag-selfie.

I just finished my first bottle when Mineski's door opened and the owner came out. I knew him kasi nga tambay kami ni Zach dito dati.

"Uy, Dee. Natambay ka na pala ulit dito?"

I shook my head kaya nagpaalam na rin siya na aalis na siya for the night. May bantay naman daw sa loob.

"Lagi ka ba dito?" Paris asked.

"Dati. I used to hang out here." I sipped on the second bottle and tama na naman si Paris, mas masarap nga yung lemon kanina. "Dito rin kasi naglalaro yung ex ko."

"Ah. DOTA player din?"

"Yeah. Napusta rin siya. I always waited for him d'yan sa lounge," I said, pointing inside. Mainit na talaga yung cheeks ko and there was a silent drumming in my head.

"Tiga-Fairfield 'yon?"

"Yeah. But kapitbahay ko rin siya."

"Baka makita tayo dito. Mapaaway pa 'ko," pabirong sabi niya.

"He's not here." I put down my bottle. Kalahati na lang din. "Iniwan ako no'n. Bigla. As in, parang bula. Gano'n. Gago yun, eh."

Hindi siya kumibo pero nakatingin siya sa akin na parang hinihintay niya yung next na sasabihin ko.

"Childhood best friend ko yun, eh. We met when I was six. I was crying sa playground sa Delta," sabi ko. Natawa pa ako kasi I just realized na ang pathetic at cliché ng pagkakakilala namin. "Ayaw kasi akong kalaro ng ibang kids kasi nasa sandbox lang ako. Takbo-takbo kasi gusto nila. I have asthma kasi."

"Ngayon ko lang nalaman 'yan."

"Yeah, ayoko malaman ng iba. But lasing na yata ako." I chuckled. "Anyway, 'yon. Don't tell anyone. Mas malala dati asthma ko. I had to take a lot of meds and pay a lot of visits sa doctor. Better na 'ko ngayon. Iwas triggers na lang. I was only allowed to play boardgames and seesaw, swing, or slide. Bawal ako sa hide-and-seek, basta yung nakakapagod. I always followed the rule, I still do, so ayun, it cost me my friends."

"Hindi sila true friends 'pag gano'n."

"I know, I know. So yun nga, naiyak ako sa sandbox and bigla siyang lumapit. Inabutan ako ng dirty na Ben-10 shirt. Medyo basa pa ng pawis."

Yumuko siya saglit kasi natawa siya.

"Kadiri, right? He didn't even speak Tagalog kaya we barely understood each other. I mean, I could understand English, but I wasn't that fluent pa that time kasi my parents talked in Russian or Tagalog lang naman. Mas madalas Russian ang naririnig ko sa kanila. But I don't speak Russian, you know? Konti lang. Like, ganito lang," I said and showed him how little it was with my fingers kaya ngumiti siya. "He just got back from Maryland that time. First time niya here sa Pinas. I still remember na parang apples yung cheeks niya kasi sobrang pula."

"Wow."

"Mm-hmm. But I took that shirt, you know? I took it and said thanks. That was the very first time I saw his smile. It was lopsided. It was always lopsided."

Naramdaman ko na ang init na ng eyelids ko. Nahapdi na rin yung throat ko. But I knew na hindi naman ako naiiyak. Mabigat lang yung pakiramdam ko. The same feeling kapag pagod and bad trip ka at the same time. Kaso sumikip bigla yung dibdib ko.

"Okay ka lang ba? Ubos na beer mo."

"Yeah, can I have one can?"

"Sure ka?"

"Yup. Very sure."

Pinagbukas niya ako ng isang can and gave it to me.

"I loved that smile, man. Alam mo yun? For nine years, I adored that smile. Sobra na kapag naiiyak ako, uupo lang siya sa tabi ko tapos okay na 'ko. Did you ever feel like that towards a person?"

Hindi siya nag-nod or sumagot, pero ngumiti lang siya ulit. Although maliit na ngiti lang.

"Inaanak siya nila Mommy. I thought, wow, fate. Alam mo yung FLAMES? Yung kukunin mo yung same letters sa names niyo tapos ibibilang mo yung total sa letters ng word na flames? I did that! L ang result palagi. Lovers."

We laughed so loud lalo noong sinabi niyang ang baduy ko raw.

"Sabay namin nakilala sila Helen," sabi ko when our laughter died.

"Gusto mo ba talaga siya? I mean, noong friends pa lang kayo, gusto mo na siya?"

"Yeah, sobra. Kaya when he confessed to me, it was the best day of my life. Ang special no'ng araw na 'yon. Alam mo kung pa'no siya nag-confess?"

Binuksan niya na yung last can niya. He still looked so normal, parang hindi siya nag-iinom. "Pa'no? Pengeng tips."

"'Wag mong gagayahin 'to kasi malas, okay?" I said kaya natawa siya. "So second year 'yon. Almost two years ago. It was October fourteen. Tandang-tanda ko, 'no?"

Paris nodded multiple times.

"Yeah, so he was missing that day. There was an event sa school. Foundation Day. Napahiwalay kami nila Gwen sa kanya kasi we forgot our bags. Aalis na dapat kami kasi we were going to Zambales kasi nga start na ng break. Sabi niya he'd wait for us sa flagpole. We got there but he wasn't there. He wasn't answering his phone din kaya kinakabahan na 'ko. I remember na nagta-type ako ng text sa kanya no'n when I heard his voice. Muntik ko pa mabitiwan phone ko kasi nagulat ako. Nasa ulunan lang kasi namin yung speakers."

"So may pa-mic pa siya?"

"Yeah! Kinuha niya yung mic from the Student Body president sa stage. You know sa movies na parang slow-mo? Gano'n. Nahawi yung crowd. Ang galing, 'di ba?"

He nodded ulit.

"Nag-cheer lahat no'n kasi naglabas siya ng bouquet ng red tulips."

"Favorite flower mo?"

"Yup! Ganda kaya ng tulips."

"Maganda nga."

"So no'ng nasa harap ko na siya, nakangiti siya. That fucking lopsided smile na naman. Inabot niya sa'kin yung flowers tapos he said, 'Hey. I won't take this any further.' Ang lakas ng cheers that time, sobra. He knelt pa when he asked if I would be his girlfriend. Oh, he told me he loved me pala bago niya itanong yun."

"Sweet, ah. Tipong mapapasagot ka talaga."

Natawa ako sa sinabi niya. Dahil sa pagtawa tawa namin, medyo gumaan ang pakiramdam ko ulit. Although I could feel the dizziness setting in. "Kaya nga I said yes, eh. Tapos when I did that, biglang pinatugtog ng DJ yung chorus ng Jopay."

"Talaga?" He looked amused. "Ayos, ah."

"Ayos talaga. Happiest day of my life nga, 'di ba?"

"So anong nangyari no'ng saddest day?"

I could not answer agad. I was too fucking sad when I found out Zach left, but I died when I found out I was pregnant. Pero hindi ko naman yun pwedeng sabihin kay Paris kahit nakainom ako. Natuwa nga lang akong magkwento ngayon, eh. We ran out of beer na rin kaya inuubos na lang namin yung snacks ko.

"Umm, after graduation no'ng April, right? Wala na siya no'n. Wala rin siya during the ceremony. The whole day before graduation, he wasn't talking to me na. Saglit lang niya ako kinausap, nagpaalam lang siya na may preparations siyang kailangan gawin for our graduation. I mean, medyo malabo na kami no'n kasi... actually, hindi ko alam. Parang we grew apart? Gano'n. I don't know. Parang may wall bigla na nag-grow between us."

Hindi siya kumibo pero bumagal yung pag-chew niya.

"Night fell na but wala pa rin siyang paramdam so I went to his house next street. Walang tao. Kaya wala akong kasama no'ng graduation. Yung lola ko lang saka friends ko. Nasa Russia sila Mommy that day, eh. I waited until sunrise for him with Gwen and Helen but wala, eh. I cried nonstop kasi nag-aalala ako. Tapos I received a call from his ate. Sabi sa'kin, he would be away and wouldn't be back for a long while. Syempre, I asked kung bakit. But sabi ng ate niya, she wasn't in the position to tell me anything. She sounded sad din, eh. So I rested my case at hinayaan ko na lang siya. I've never tried to reach out again. Nasa Maryland siya ulit, sabi nila Mommy. I don't care."

"Sakit."

"Wala nga kaming formal closure, eh. Sabi nga sa'kin ni Helen dati pwedeng ma-consider na kami pa rin."

"Sa'kin, hindi na. Kasi umalis na siya, eh. July na ngayon. Kung April 'yon, three months na nakalipas. Para sa'kin, wala na yung gano'n."

"Yeah, I agree. Bahala siya sa buhay niya. Wait niya na lang karma. But that was the reason kaya gusto ko mag-transfer. Start anew. Parang yung iba na nagpapagupit ng buhok after a break-up. Kaso ayokong i-cut yung hair ko. I like it kapag mahaba."

"Maganda nga buhok mo," nakangiting sabi niya then he stood up. "Bibili pa 'kong beer. Gusto mo pa ba?"

"One lemon, okay lang ba?"

"Naman. Wait ka lang d'yan."

Napa-facepalm ako noong nakaalis na si Paris. Bigla akong nabalot ng embarrassment. Shit, nakakahiya ang ginawa ko. Ang dami kong nakwento. He was the first to know about what happened to Zach and me outside of my best friends and family. Nakakahiya talaga.

Bukas na rin yung bottle ng beer na inabot niya sa akin. Stallion na bottle ng Red Horse na rin yung dala niya. Mga one minute siguro na tahimik kami. Inom lang siya nang inom pero nakakaisang sip pa lang ako. Nakatingin kami sa street kahit walang dumadaan. Malakas pa rin yung sigawan sa loob, pero wala pang lumalabas.

"Yung ex ko nasa States din, eh."

Napatingin ako sa kanya kasi hindi ko ine-expect na magkukwento rin siya. "What happened naman sa inyo?"

He shrugged. "Hindi kasing mysterious ng sa inyo, pero nakakabwisit din. Kailangan nilang bumalik dun ng family niya, eh. Tiga-Miwako rin 'yon. Fil-Am. Na-maintain naman namin yung LDR ng halos isang buwan. Gabi-gabi usap, tawag, chat. Yung gabi sa kanila ang ibig kong sabihin. Tang ina, napadalas cutting ko no'n kasi umaga sa'tin yun, eh."

"Naks. Dakila."

Natawa siya ulit. He shook his head pa. "Tapos nalaman ko na lang, may bago na siya dun."

I did not say anything kasi parang mas masakit yung gano'n. Parang ang sakit kasi na malaman mo nang diretso na niloko ka at pinagpalit.

"Gwapings yung lalake, eh. Blue eyes, blond. Pero mas pogi ako, syempre." Kinindatan niya pa ako. "Nalaman ko lang din sa tropa niya."

"Nag-usap kayo?"

"Yeah, may formal break-up naman kami. Umamin naman siya no'ng nag-usap kami. Nakakaurat lang kasi yun yung time na inaayos ko sched ko. Nagsabi na ako kila Kuya Warren. Gusto ko kasi siyang puntahan kahit ilang weeks lang. Eh wala. Hindi kami pinayagan ng tadhana."

"Lalim."

Mas malakas yung tawa niya ngayon. "Anong silbi ng lalim kung niloko naman."

Hinampas ko siya sa braso. "Drama mo! Cheers na lang tayo."

Itinaas niya yung bottle niya.

"Cheers sa shitty relationships natin."

Ngumiti siya nang malapad, like yung ngiti niya no'ng nagkita kami sa store kanina. "Cheers."

We clinked bottles. Pagkaubos namin, nagsabi ako na medyo inaantok na ako. The truth was lasing na ako and sobrang dizzy. Nasusuka nga ako, eh. Ayokong masuka sa harap niya. It was almost eleven na rin and hindi ako pwedeng abutin ng midnight sa labas kasi baka isumbong ako ng mga kasama ko sa bahay sa parents ko.

"Hatid na kita," sabi ni Paris pagkalagay niya ng mga basura namin sa plastic bag. "Gabi na, eh. Nakainom ka pa. Malapit lang ba kayo dito?"

"Yeah. Okay lang ba?"

"Oo naman. Tara na."

"Thanks, Paris."

He offered me a fist bump na tinanggap ko. "Wala yun."