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Different Batman

What if in a strange twist of whatever twists, a soul from Earth gets to choose between one overpowered wish or three templates that don't have any superpowers? Wait ... intelligence doesn't count as a superpower here? What a mistake on the twister's side. The soul will of course rather choose intelligence over a boring OP wish. Because three OP wishes are always better than one. Watch as this is a ... slightly different Batman.

Cedric_7512 · Tranh châm biếm
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73 Chs

Who has done this?

(Bruce POV)

"Hahahahaha", I was laughing after I heard the news. It was truly funny in my opinion. I mean can you imagine going around like I did as Buff Santa and gas the whole world? But this gas was special.

"What did you do, Master Bruce? Did I not tell you not to do something big?", Sebas asked me.

"I'm sorry but I just had to do something big. I wasn't even planning on it until you reminded me not to do something big. It suddenly popped into my head and then there was no going back."

"*Sigh* just what did you do exactly?"

"Well, nothing much really. I just created two new serums and then made them into gases which I then released on the entire world. A short night's work really.", I say like it's not a big deal.

"... What?"

"It was like this..."

.

(Flashback the night before)

"ALFRED open the folder Project: Mother's Soother. We don't have that much time so we should get started soon."

[What does Project. Mother's Soother entail, sir?]

"I'm glad you asked ALFRED. Tomorrow is Mother's Day so I have something grand planned. I will do something that will soothe all of the mother's hearts ... literally. I will create a gas that will allow me to, when inhaled by a mother, soothe her heart and make her calm and content. But I haven't created it yet, so I might have to do that."

[And how would that work sir? This seems like groundbreaking medical and biochemical science. There might be Nobel prize-worthy things happening right now.]

"..."

[...]

"HAHAHAHAHA" [Laughing sound]

"You amuse me ALFRED. But now seriously. I have reason to believe that the sound of a mother's heartbeat has a soothing effect on their babies. Going by this, I have an idea of how to create this gas/serum."

[What would we need for that, sir? Would we need a ... specimen?]

"No, I don't think we need one here. I think 'Perverted Tech' should cover the distance to the Gotham hospital no?"

[Calculating ... Affirmative. Distance within range of 'Perverted Tech']

"Good then get to work on recording the heartbeat of a mother. The best would be a woman who has given birth a few hours ago and is now in contact with her newborn. But make sure not to use the 'Perverted Tech' for perverted things. Contrary to its name, that is not really what it is used for.

Meanwhile, I'll get to work on modifying Serum #01-0024 and make it a little brother. I thought that it was a good idea to punish sex offenders brutally and in the simplest way. Destroy the problem at the root and you will get the best results. Why would I put someone like that in prison? He might even like that. No no no, I take away what they love the most."

[What would that be sir?]

"I will design special nanobots that I'll code to enter the brain and see the memories of a person. After that, they will see whether or not this person is a 'sex offender'. If that is the case they will trigger the effects that the gas has and make the sex of the person dry up like a withered plum."

.

[I don't have a physical body to throw up in my mouth, but that is what I would probably do right now.]

"Then I succeeded at what I wanted to do. Imagine that. Batman of Earth 69, is scary enough to make an AI shiver. Now if that isn't badass, I don't know what is."

[Affirmative. I agree with you, sir. Very commendable. I dread the poor woman that will end up with you. Or are you asexual?]

"Hmm ... No, I do have an interest in women. Sex would also be nice, every once in a while. But I don't need it like some harem protagonist. I have my head to make the decisions. My dick has its place like every other organ in my body. No need to believe yourself to be more than you are."

[Are ... are you talking about your organs in the third person?]

"I am trying to tell you that I don't think with my hormones or penis. I am a f*cking genius and not Issei Hyodou for crying out loud."

[Noted.]

"ALFRED play 'Sweet Little Bumblebee' while we work."

[Is that the appropriate music for such work, sir?]

"Of course. We are doing something good. Well, at least I am. You're fricking spying on mothers, you pervert."

[Affirmative. Adding nickname. Designated: Pervert to my code]

"Haha, now play the song."

[Affirmative]

🎵Sweet Little Bumblebee, I know what you want from me🎵

🎵Dup-I-Dup-I-Do-La-Da 🎵Dup-I-Dup-I-Do-La-Da 🎵

🎵Sweet Little Bumblebee, more than just a fantasy🎵

🎵Dup-I-Dup-I-Do-La-Da 🎵Dup-I-Dup-I-Do-La-Da 🎵

(Flashback end)

.

"..."

"So that's what happened.", I finish my story.

"And you did that in ONE night?"

"I mean ... yeah. The Batwing is very fast so it was possible. I let ALFRED fly the longer distances."

"That is ... what if someone manages to trace the nanobots back to you? What if you will be discovered? There are supernaturals in this world, as you told me, Master Bruce."

"I know. I made sure that it wouldn't be possible to find out where they came from. I added about a dozen different self-destructive measures to them which all activated as soon as their objective was over. Among those are the following: Anti-tracking charm, to keep any magicians or sorcerers off my back, self-destructive codes that make them wither away after they are done with their objective, anti-x-ray technology so that they won't get found in any scans, invisibility functions and so many more.

I was really careful, Sebas. Besides I even used the Universal Programmer on them and made them 'untrackable'. The only way to link them to me is if you are a beyond 5th-dimensional being. And I don't believe that there is any such being that is interested in some sex offenders."

"I guess you are correct, Master Bruce."

.

.

(3rd Person POV)

Just like Bruce predicted there was no being in the Multiverse that was interested in some sex offenders from planet Earth. But there were quite a few beings and people who weren't that powerful. Among them was our resident from a distant planet called Krypton. He is a guest here but acts like a native, at least when he isn't flying around in his underwear.

.

.

(Superman POV)

I am flying around Metropolis, from one hospital to the next and trying to find something. Anything would already be good. This can't be a coincidence. In one night, every person that has been suspected to have in some way, shape or form done some violation sexually, has lost their sexual organs. And this happened all over the world. This is not a coincidence. I have to find out who did this. Someone like that is dangerous and has to be stopped before he does something more violent and lethal.

If this is some form of technology then it has to be destroyed. Not even my father's AI in the Fortress could tell me what might have happened, when I brought him a victim. He said that there was nothing out of the ordinary in the man, I brought him. Except for his ... dried-out sexual organ, everything else was fine. No radiation, technological parts or lingering energies on any of the victims.

"What do you think could be the reason for this happening, father?", I ask Jor-El's AI consciousness.

"It is hard to say. There is nothing that comes close to this in my life. Krypton doesn't have any such technology. It is unlikely that it is a technological cause. I would guess some form of supernatural power is more likely. You would have to find the person or one of those that is responsible. You won't get anything from the victims."

This made me think. How am I supposed to find someone that I have zero information on? I might need help on this. Not even Lois has any idea about this. She doesn't seem to be bothered by it, apart from wanting to find the person who did it, so that she can get an interview.

"There might be a possibility, Kal-El. You told me about some of the other supernatural beings on earth."

"Yes, what are you getting at? Do you think one of them could help with finding whoever did that?", I ask.

"Yes, maybe you could ask them whether they found some information about anything. It would be a good way to get to know your fellow heroes on the planet."

"I guess that could work. But don't you think it would be a bit early? I have barely been Superman for two years."

"There is no hurry. But the longer you wait, the colder the trail will become."

"I'll give it some thought."

.

.

(Green Lantern POV)

I fly into the hospital and find a room with one of these guys. He has been sedated to stop him from screaming or biting his own tongue off. I find this to be very peculiar. Who would have an interest in castrating every sex offender on the planet? And why now? And for what purpose? Wouldn't they want to get acknowledgement? How many were involved in this? And most importantly, how did he or she do it?

I point my ring at the person and begin the scan. If there is anything wrong with him, or if I want to get any sort of information, then the Green Lantern ring is the best way to do it. There is nothing it can't tell me. It makes solving murder cases or any other form of crime a piece of cake.

I wait for a few minutes. 1 minute ... 2 minutes ... 3 ... 4 ... 5 ... 10 ... what is going on?

"Ring what did you find?"

{Analysis complete. Missing sexual organ found. Possible solution, surger-}

"No what about the person who did it? Is there any residual energy or technology?"

{Negative}

"What?! That's ... not possible. What is going on here? There is nothing the ring doesn't know. The ring knows what the Guardians know and the Guardians know everything. So what is this? How can there be something that they don't know? I have to find this person and deal with him or her. This might be bigger than I think."

I need to go, maybe they can tell me more on Oa.

.

.

(Wonder Woman POV)

What a peculiar thing happened last night. Those deemed suspect in matters of carnal transgressions found themselves ensnared in a torment profound, with anguish befalling them grievously. Strangely, they suffered the loss of their intimate parts. 

I approach the place where I hear such screaming and see an old man holding his crotch in pain. He has tears running down his face as he looks at me from his position on the floor. I am here to make sure my suspicion proves correct. I am unsure whether this is a lunatic on the rise, who tries his or her newest technology or if this is the work of a righteous being. I walk to the old man.

"H-h-he-l-p m-me~ ... p-ple--ase...", he says and tries to get a hold of me. I don't act just yet and take my Lasso of Truth from my hips. This is an important step. I wrap the lasso around the man's arm and then activate it.

The Lasso of Truth is a magical artefact. It begins to glow golden and I ask the man my question.

"Tell me, have you ever involved yourself in matters of carnal transgressions? Tell the truth, the lasso compels you to."

"What is that? I don't know what those words mean."

"Have you ever ... r*aped anyone or sexually assaulted or molested someone?", I ask him again using the more modern words. I can see him widen his eyes and he tries to resist for a fraction of a second.

"Y-yes ... what? H-how..."

"This is the Lasso of Truth, it was crafted and enchanted by the gods, you cannot lie when in contact with it.", I say and put the lasso back.

This changes things. I shouldn't hunt this person but thank him. The cruelty in the world of man runs deep. This was a good deed and not the work of an evil mastermind. I should tell Mother about this.

_________________________________________________________

Another rather calm chapter. Finally, we get to see some of the other 'first' heroes and what they think about this matter. I won't hate on any of the heroes as that has been done already. To each their own. I will just show how this Batman will eventually cause things to go differently than they would on Earth-0

Also, check out 'Cursed Sentry' if you like Marvel. My brother and I decided to write a story together since he has joined the simple pleasures of writing fanfiction.