The Art of Picking up a Lonely Stalker Victim

I sat in front of Ms. Attu's desk, the woman in question sitting behind said desk. She stared at me with a look I couldn't even describe as it was mixed so well and said, "So Pulchra... if you have been stalking him since last night, you must like him, right?"

When she said this, I jolted in surprise and was forced to confront the question that I had been avoiding since yesterday. Do I like him? I think that I don't dislike him; I know that for sure. But do I like him? Do I like-like him? As in, do I feel the urge to do things with him... like hold his hand... or maybe more?

I could feel my blood pumping while I thought about this. It circulated through my body before finally finding its resting place under my cheeks. It heated up until I could feel its presence, my cheeks taking on a shade of red. I was... blushing? Did this mean I did like-like him? No... it couldn't right? After all, I've had basically no interactions with him, so how could I have developed feelings for him?

But when I think about how I stalked him for the entire night, and today as well... Why did I do that? I told myself that it was to make sure he wasn't doing anything vicious. But if that was true... then why did I listen to his conversation with Ms. Attu so fervently? I couldn't come up with an answer to this that didn't stretch out the blush that was already steadily growing on my face.

Ms. Attu took a look at my face and gave me a cheeky grin before saying to me, "I see, I see. My suspicions were correct. I've been pretty good at guessing at people's hidden secrets for the last couple of days now! Listen, Ms. Stalker Girl, I can't just let the fact that you were stalking one of your fellow students slide... but if can you do just one thing for me... I won't give you a punishment."

I just remembered, stalking people was definitely a crime of some kind. And if everyone else figured out I was a creepy stalker...! A shiver went through my body as I thought about the consequences of such a thing. I nodded my head at an incredible speed before saying to Ms. Attu in a desperate tone, "I-I'll do anything you want me to do!! Just don't tell anyone about this!" I then covered my arms around myself and shivered, "Especially my father... I can't even imagine how he would look at me after something like this."

Ms. Attu, after hearing how desperate I was, looked at me with a shining gaze that said, "I'm going to exploit this as much as I can". It made me shiver more than ever before; just what kind of teacher looked at her student with the eyes of a greed-stricken merchant who had just found a new victim to exploit?!

"Anything, huh? Ok then... I'll make sure to have you understand the weight of those words." Just what did she plan? Did she want me to do her dirty work? Or maybe she would have me do something naughty! "I want you toooooo..." She purposefully extended her words to prolong my suffering. I gave a loud gulp in anticipation while I expectantly waited for her to finish the sentence. I know that I said anything, but she won't make me actually do something shameless... right?

"I want you to ask Quis on a date~!" While saying this she rubbed her cheeks as though she were a pure maiden who had never thought of saying such things until now. Just what was she playing at? Asking him out on a date would ruin my reputation just as much as my stalking him would. Maybe I should just let her tell others about the stalking. I could probably just say that I was keeping checks on him, the suspicious outsider.

Just as I was about to tell her to forget it, she began talking with a flushed voice, "Of course that would be moving things too fast... First, we need Quis to take notice of you. After all, all that goes on in his head is probably something like, "What can I do to make myself better?", he seems to be that kind of person. So we need something normal to happen first... Maybe he saves you from a group of bastardly men. Or perhaps he'll walk into you changing, and then you'll punch him because of it before apologizing? No... those are good but a bit too much for a first meeting... I got it! He'll walk into you crying by yourself and proceed to comfort you. You'll tell him all of your problems and then he'll tell you his. Then you'll slowly get closer... and then-"

"Please don't say any more!" I couldn't handle it anymore. Just what did this teacher think relationships were!? Did she think she could just say that two people were in a relationship and then it was official!? This teacher was getting on my nerves! And that degenerate grin on her face made me even angrier, "I-I haven't even had a single conversation with Quis! How could I l-like him?! I-I refuse to do this. Go ahead and tell everyone about my activities, I couldn't care less anymore!"

Her mouth moved into an "O" formation at my sudden outburst, but then, after she recovered, she gave me a smug grin and said: "Oh yea? But what happens to Quis when he hears this I wonder... Oh no, he would probably become freaked out and make sure to keep his distance from you. Even if you said that you were only doing it to make sure he did do anything suspicious, it wouldn't matter to him. He was the victim of a creepy stalker!"

Arg! She hit with an incredibly scummy blow, but she was right. I know I wouldn't want that to happen. My eyes suddenly looked despaired and, without meeting this witch's eyes, I said "I-I don't want that to happen... But the things you were saying are just so... so cringy."

She took a step back and made a strange noise as though her pride had been hit. But then all of a sudden she took a heavy step toward me and said with confidence oozing out of her, "So you say you wouldn't want Quis to view you negatively huh? I may be wrong but... are you not then applying that you like him? If you truly didn't value him, then why would you care about how he views you? You could even argue that to be an indirect confession..."

Her conversation trailed off as though it were just a passing thought, but her face... oh her despicable, conniving, twisted face. It said all I needed to know.

My shoulders drooped and I sighed a sigh of defeat before saying with empty words, "I give up. Tell me what I must do."

____________________________________________

I sat on my seat while talking to my friends and ate my lunch. My friends would laugh, and then I would laugh. Someone would say something to me, and I would reply. But my thoughts weren't focused on the conversation at all, not in the least bit.

"Pulchra? Is something wrong?" I turned to the person sitting next to me. It was my best friend since childhood, Iusus. She had been near me long enough to tell when something was wrong with me. I turned to her and, with a calm and steady voice said, "Nothing is wrong with me. D-don't w-worry..." Nevermind. I couldn't say this calmly or steadily because something truly was wrong. I was procrastinating.

Iusus looked at me with worried eyes, "If anything is wrong, don't hesitate to tell me. If Spiravit is bothering you again, just tell me. I'll make sure to hammer his brain in, he might even gain some intelligence after a beating like that. In fact, I'll make sure to beat up any boy that views you with the slightest of strange gaz-"

"Please don't!" I stood up and shouted at Iusus with flushed cheeks. Whoops, I just let my emotions get the best of me and blurted out something strange with an even more strange blushing face. Just how did Quis rein in emotions five times this intense?

"Pulchra, did something bad happen!? Your face is more flushed than when your dad-"

"Please stop talking! I-I'm going to another table!" I interrupted her again, but this time she deserved it. Who in their right mind would try to say something like that in public?! I'm starting to feel like I'm the only normal person in this sect. Wait, that isn't right. I'm a stalker now...

Iusus looked at me with flabbergasted eyes as I walked away from her. But I didn't care about Iusus right now. He was here.

I stared at him as he took a bite out of his sandwich. His eyes turned dull, probably an after-effect of eating the also dull sandwich. I got pretty good at observing Quis after those two days of stalking him, so I could tell he was about to get up and go somewhere. This wasn't good, I had to stop him.

But I hesitated. What if he didn't like me? What if I was too pushy and came off as creepy? What if- No! Wake up Pulchra! This is just the stalking incident all over again! I couldn't stand here doing nothing! I had to act.

I swiftly approached him, and under the gaze of all of my friends, put my hand on this outsider's shoulder.

"Do you mind If I sit next to you?" I said these words with some indecisiveness, but I was still resolute.

I would talk to this unknowing stalker victim!

I would talk to this loner!

No... I would talk to Quis!