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Warning: This work contains elements of mature content featuring sex, violence, and gore. Follow the journey of a wandering drunk swordsman who will punch immortals, kick demons, and cut down gods as he ascends the heavens in search of better women and wine.... hic... Women, Wine, and Wager The three most terrible vices a man could possess. Luckily, Duncan was only afflicted with two - women & wine. As an ordinary spirit stone miner, Duncan only cared about earning money to indulge in his two vices. However, Duncan's fate had a twist in the form of a cantankerous old man who wanted to both reward and punish him in good measure. It leaves Duncan with a rather poor opinion of cultivators in general. Pulled into the world of cultivation unwittingly, Duncan only cares for three things. His sword, his wine, and his women.
"You are joking, right?" Duncan asked in a disbelieving tone.
The old man with a gap-toothed smile looked at him with amusement, causing Duncan to snort. He knew that he may not be the sharpest pickaxe in the mine but even he was not that stupid to buy into the old fool's bullshit.
"Look, you old fart, I am not that stupid. Even a hillbilly like me knows that cultivation is not like what you said," Duncan snorted as he started to dig into his lunch.
Duncan knew that it was his mistake to indulge the old fool's tall tales while they worked together in the spirit mine. For weeks the old fool has been telling him tales that were too far-fetched to believe.
Cultivators being strong enough to level cities and even kingdoms! Cultivators with powers to even control nature! Cultivators starting a war over some inane treasures! Don't even get him started about treasures. Really! Did the old fool really think him stupid enough to believe that there were treasures that could freeze land and even change the very climate?
As if!
Duncan snorted inwardly as he ate with gusto. Initially, he had indulged the old man because he had found his tales amusing. While others looked at the old man as if he was mad, he simply thought that the old man was inventing outrageous tales so that he wouldn't feel bored while doing the monotonous job of mining spirit stones.
And really, being a miner was monotonous work apart from the occasional danger due to the cave-in. So, he hadn't thought much of the old fool's tall tales. And also the tales were at least interesting to listen to as they worked side by side. It also helped him take his mind off the pathetic life he was living.
So, he hadn't bothered much to discourage the old fool's ramblings. But, there was a limit to everything.
It was a while after they once more began to work that the old man broke the silence.
"So, why do you think I was joking?" the old man asked as they started chipping away the earth around the spirit stones.
"Really, do you even need to ask?" Duncan snorted as he hefted his pickaxe and slammed it on a stubborn patch of dirt. "According to you, cultivation is nothing but stealing. Do you think anyone would believe you?"
"What's wrong with what I said?" the old man spoke agitatedly. "Don't the cultivators steal the spirit qi from heaven and earth and store it inside them?"
Duncan leveled the old fart with an unimpressed stare.
"Even I know that there is more to cultivation than storing spirit qi. And I am just a miner. And cultivators don't steal; they absorb and cultivate the spirit qi inside their bodies. That's why they are called cultivators," Duncan said snidely.
"Bah, that's just semantics. No matter how much they spout it doesn't negate them stealing qi from heaven and earth, does it?" the old man waved his hands angrily.
"Look, old man," Duncan said pausing in his activity, "if we go by what you say, then eating food will come under stealing too. And I work hard to earn money to eat. I don't like what you are hinting at here."
"Exactly!" the old man crowed excitedly, "so you understand right? I mean everything comes under stealing. Whether knowingly or unknowingly we all steal, whether it is from the mere plants or it is from the almighty heavens we steal things to sustain ourselves. That is why the Dao of Stealing is the one true Dao!"
The old fool rambled on as if he hadn't heard Duncan's later sentences. Duncan looked at the old man dumbfounded unable to interject as the old fool rambled on.
"I mean, apart from the obvious stealing aspect while no one notices you, there are aspects like people robbing you in the streets. Don't you think it is similar to cultivators fighting each other over treasures? Whoever is the mightiest gets the treasure, just like who has the bigger fist will rob the weak one…"
The old man rambled on and on about something called Dao of Stealing until they both finished their job and walked outside of the spirit mine. Duncan didn't pay much attention to what the old fool was rambling about. And he sure as hell didn't know what this Dao meant. So, he just nodded at the right intervals as if he understood what the old man was rambling about.
At last, the time came for them to split up and head back home and Duncan let out a relieved breath. He sneakily looked at the old man and found the old man was brimming with energy oddly. Usually, the old man would look listless as if he was weighed down by something. But today, something was different about him.
Just as they were about to part, the old man stopped him and held his hand. Duncan wondered inwardly what the old fool wanted to do now. He dreaded the mere thought of accompanying the old man and listening to his rambles into the night. All he wanted now was to head back and have some wine, before resting his body to ensure he was in shape to work tomorrow.
"Duncan, I am immensely grateful to you. You have unlocked the knot in my heart. Your words have enlightened me immensely and have led me on the correct path of my Dao of Stealing," the old man said emotionally as he held his hands.
Duncan blinked unable to comprehend what the old fool was rambling about now.
"Old man, don't take this the wrong way, are you feeling unwell? Did the afternoon food do something to you? I know Granny Jiao who lives two streets down. Why don't we go there? She can fix you up in an hour. Her remedies may be vile to drink, but they work. I assure you," Duncan said as he looked at the old man.
The old man in turn laughed uproariously causing the passersby to look at the duo.
