Blackout 1.2 by ASK80

Part 11

I dreamed of James and Mark. They were out on a bike ride and I was running behind them. I was naked and wearing high heels. Every time I thought that I was close to catching them, they would speed off again. I shouted and cried but to no avail. I woke up before my alarm went off. The first thing that sprung to mind was James's proposal.

'If you want to let this go, then I will too.'

Was it a proposal or perhaps a subtle ultimatum? There was no deadline attached to it. He had not mentioned it since. I was the one doing all the running around. I thought back to the second time. The moment our eyes had met. He must have seen something in me. Something that told him I was hooked. I needed to get off. I couldn't think of anywhere that would be a quiet place for me to do that. I didn't trust myself anymore to even masturbate with a modicum of self-control.

'If you want to let this go, then I will too.'

I hated him. I hated him for what he had reduced me to. He was so smug, confident and...much to my horror...he was right. I did not want to let this go. This...incest. I wanted more. I was going to hell and taking my only child but I wanted more of this feeling. It was unlike anything I had experienced before. It was a thrill, a racing, palpitating shock that I could not let go of.

Just a short while ago I was ready to tell my husband and the police. I was ready to make a criminal complaint. Now, not only had I forgiven, I was looking to reward him. I was looking for further violation.

Yes, James. I want this. I walked to the bathroom and lay down on the bath mat. My breathing was shallow. I felt like I had in James's room when he had pinned me against the door. I unlocked my phone. My fingers trembled over the last messages I had exchanged with my son. A smiley emoji.

I didn't know what to type. He wasn't even awake and here I was trying to draft a message that signalled that I, his mother, agreed to his proposal to explore our budding sexual relationship further. There was no emoji for that. I locked my phone and got up. I felt like I was going out of my mind. I thought about slipping into James's room and waking him up with a blowjob. It was mad and I knew there was no way I could do it. Not with Mark so close by. I summoned every last ounce of self-control I had.

No, if this was going to happen then there needed to be rules. There needed to be a framework for...I could barely bring myself to say it...our incestuous relationship. I felt a spark in my stomach. I didn't hate the word anymore. It was enticing, seductive, dangerous. I suddenly imagined myself and James sat on a couch, holding hands and smiling for the camera. Yes, there was no doubt. I was going quite mad. I walked into my room and watched over my sleeping husband.

I pulled the covers back and stroked at his cock through his briefs. After more coaxing it rose to attention and I pulled off his underwear. He awoke in time to watch me start blowing him. He smiled and let out a contented sigh. Mark was probably average in size. It was not a penis to write home about, but it fulfilled the purpose that it was designed for...most times. I couldn't help but compare it to James. I could fit Mark into my mouth comfortably.

It didn't take long for the telltale twitching of his toes and he came with a sharp grunt. I went to the bathroom to spit it out. As I did, I felt foolish. James was right. This wasn't me being normal. Typically, I would have swallowed without a second thought, but this time I couldn't wait to remove Mark's cum from my mouth. I stalked back into the bedroom hoping he wouldn't question me. He took me in his arms and we kissed.

'What a lovely way to start the morning,' he cooed.

'Well, I just wanted to make up for last night,' I told him.

He grinned and held me close. I felt relieved. He didn't seem to notice anything.

He couldn't tell that I had decided to do this now rather than have to sleep with him later that evening. I had turned our sex life into a chore. Something that had to be done as a dull but necessary maintenance. I was one of those spouses now.

I knew the path that lay ahead. I would come to resent him and become bitter and reproachful. All because I had changed and he had not. I had not bargained for this.

I had not conceived that I would be lying here wrestling with my desires for my own flesh and blood. We lay there holding each other until my alarm went off.

That morning James had a late start so I headed to the office alone. It was a quieter morning than before and I found my mind wandering to places it really shouldn't have. I checked my phone every five minutes for another message from James, but the days old smiley emoji was still there. At lunch I headed out to do some shopping.

I bought Mark's birthday present first. A small concession, made out of guilt. I spent more than I normally would have done. I bought him several gifts, in fact. Including tickets to a horticulture show in London. I bought Friday and Saturday tickets knowing in some small part that I would likely make excuses to try and avoid coming on the Friday.

Once that was out of the way, I could concentrate on the real shopping and planning. I applied for a credit card in my maiden name with just my initial as a first name. It would be delivered to work. All my existing banking was in joint names. I couldn't risk transactions showing up anywhere on those statements that would provoke scrutiny from Mark. I bought two burner phones and walked out of the shop feeling like a drug dealer.

I set them both up with VPNs and covered the camera. I set up a Paypal account, again in an altered version of my name, to pay off the credit card. I would send money to James on a regular basis anyway. Now I would ask him to send some of that back to me via Paypal. It was all illicit tradecraft. Preparation for a journey that could never see the light of day.

I would never be as foolish as the couple that had outed themselves. There was too much at stake. The calculation did not stack up. There was so much to lose on one hand. My husband and wider family. My job. Reputation. Even liberty potentially. All of that was weighed against James. Against the trembling in my stomach and the heat in my loins as I spent the day planning for our eventual consummation. I was shaking as I got back to my desk. I had several bags of shopping, but I kept looking through the same one. It was like checking luggage before embarking on the trip of a lifetime. The thought excited me. I knew this was my answer.

An emphatic, palpitating yes. When I reached home, James was in the garage checking the gears on his bike. My heart leaped when I got out and saw him. He smiled and walked over to help me with my shopping bags.

'Did you leave anything in the shops, Mum?' he asked.

I felt a sliver of pleasure at knowing the contents of the special bag. I felt like I was planning a surprise for him and he was actually helping me facilitate that. I told him they were for his father's birthday and to keep them hidden in the garage. I took my secret bag upstairs with me but then freaked out thinking about how Mark could discover it and ask some very awkward questions.

I had thought I was so clever, like a professional spy pulling the wool over her dozy spouse. I tried to think of where I could keep it that would be out of his purview, but every possibility seemed obvious and blatant. I thought about giving it to James for safe-keeping. But that would mean explaining why I had bought them. It would mean revealing the plan to my co-conspirator.

Mark was late home. I texted to see where he was. He replied saying he was caught up at work and would be at least another hour. I studied his last message intently. It almost felt like the omen I had been waiting for. I would tell James. About what I wanted. About how we could act on the impulses that had brought us together as long as we agreed to be safe and be discreet. I felt a little delirious when I realised I was actually going to do it.

Part 12

He was downstairs in the lounge when I entered with the secret bag. I sat on the lounger opposite him and asked him what he watching.

'Nothing really. Just channel-surfing. Did you want to watch something in particular?'

'No...it's just...this is a strange question...but is there a microphone on the doorbell camera?'

'Uh...I don't know. Why?'

'Oh...for some reason I just wondered if it could hear what we were saying. Or if the TV could hear what were saying.'

James looked at me as though I was undergoing some form of psychotic break.

'Um...I'm not sure. You think people are listening in?'

'Well...could you turn the volume up?'

He tapped on the remote whilst maintaining his air of bemusement. I didn't know why that fear popped into my head. It felt like the whole world was suddenly eavesdropping in on us. The volume was better. I felt like it would drown out what I had to say but we could still speak without shouting. James sat on the sofa looking at me expectantly.

'James. I was thinking about the past week.'

He raised an eyebrow. I felt under pressure. Like I was being auditioning for a part I wanted very badly.

'I accept that things happened. Maybe they shouldn't have. Well, they definitely shouldn't have, but here we are.'

I could sense a disappointment coming over him.

'You're my son. My only child. You know I love you. You know your father and I love you and would never do anything to hurt you.'

He nodded in a rather abject fashion. I tried not to smile. I was enjoying this. I was enjoying teasing him.

'We can't go backwards. We have to carry on as a family. I don't want anything to spoil the life we have all built here. It's special to me. You...are special to me.'

I rustled the bag at my feet.

'I don't want to.' I said.

He looked confused.

'What?'

'I don't want to let this go.'

His jaw dropped. The façade crumbled. All this time I had been convinced he was the master tactician, hiding behind an iron will and poker face, but the sheer astonishment and excitement on his face at that moment was a sight to behold.

'Wow...' he murmured.

'I never...' he started but did not finish.

I grinned and brushed my hair back. I felt underdressed. I was just in an old sweatshirt and trousers. I should have worn a dress, I thought. But that would have been too obvious. I would have missed this wonderful look of joy and anticipation in his eyes.

'I know...it...I can't explain it. It's just...'

'Consumed you,' he finished.

'Yes.'

'That...that's how I felt that night, Mum. It was like nothing else. I still can't describe it.'

We looked at each other, kindred in our lust.

'Wow,' he said again.

I laughed.

'Is that all you're going to say?'

'I..I honestly don't know what else to say, Mum. This is just...incredible. Um...I mean...how does this work?'

'Well...we should...we should put down some ground rules first. I think that's the best place to start. If we can agree on everything then we'll know that we both want this.'

'Jesus.'

'What?'

'Just hearing you say that...it's so hot.'

He fiddled with his shorts.

'Your father won't be long.'

'I know...I'm just...wow.'

'I was thinking we could spend some time together on Friday to prepare.'

'Uh, sure. When were you thinking?'

'I'll be working from home on Friday. Your father is on a late shift so he won't be back till 7 or 8. But...I don't want to push that deadline. Do you think you could leave a little earlier on Friday afternoon?'

'If they say no, then I'll quit!'

We both laughed.

'Ok...I know it's going to be difficult to wait till then, but it's a good test for both of us. If we are going to go ahead with this then we need to be disciplined and discreet.'

He nodded.

'Great. Ok, well...I will leave you to your various channels.'

I walked out clutching the bag. I walked to my car and hid it as best I could in my boot. Mark arrived soon after that. We all had dinner together. It was much more animated than the previous night. James and I laughed and joked and Mark even chipped in with the odd terrible Dad joke.

I hoped he didn't see the glances James and I were exchanging. I noticed my son turning his gaze to my chest and I also spied on his broad shoulders and muscled arms. After dinner, Mark was tired and headed up to bed. I felt awful but I knew this was a guarantee he would not ask for sex that night. James went for a bike ride so I sat in the conservatory nursing a glass of wine and browsing on my phone. I heard the ding of a message from James.

He had forwarded me a message from his boss, Alison. He had requested to leave early on Friday. She had asked why and if there was any way he could re-arrange whatever plans he had that necessitated an early finish. James messaged again asking if I had a resignation template he could use. I sent back a laughing emoji and said I would talk to Alison.

It would just be a couple of hours. It's not like he was an indispensable part of the business. My need was greater than theirs.

I composed the message to Alison. She was the head of the department that James worked in. I was friendly with Ally and indeed, she had helped James get the job based on my recommendation. I sat staring at the screen. I was not normally so reticent. But every message now seemed to take on a different meaning. There was the message itself and then there was the lie it was hiding. If I could have typed the truth, it would have read,

'Hi Ally! Hope you are well, know you guys are mega-busy at the moment. I hate to ask but could you possibly do me a big favour? I was hoping James could leave a couple of hours early on Friday if possible? Not sure if you know, but we have recently commenced an incestuous relationship and I was hoping to spend some time with him on Friday exploring this further while his father is still at work. I would really appreciate it if you could spare him for a couple of hours so we can indulge in our forbidden passion.'

In the end, I tried to use Mark's birthday as the excuse. I knew Ally would accede but only for a couple of hours. That was all I needed. For now. She responded quickly and, as expected, she agreed. I had made her an accomplice to our basest yearnings. I forwarded the message to James who replied with several smiling emojis. I wanted more. I wanted to hand him the burner phone now. I wanted his response to be lewd and crude. I wanted to hear the ding of the message receipt noise and read out his plans for what we were going to do. Smiley emojis did nothing for me.

Part 13

I woke up in the middle of the night. I'd been having another dream about James. He was on death row. His head was being shaved before he was taken to the electric chair. But instead of the chair there was just the garden table. He laid out over it and just started shaking. I checked the time. 4am. Too late to go back to sleep. I looked at the calendar on my phone. No appointments showing until Monday. Mark's birthday. There was an engagement I had planned for tomorrow even if it was not official. What sort of person was I?

I was going to do things with my son tomorrow. Things that no mother should do. Things that set my pulse racing and sent my pussy into a state of electric shock. I thought I would have more doubts than this. I thought that my conscience would take a metaphorical grip of me and slap me around. But nothing. My mind and body had reached a consensus. This was going to happen and to hell with the consequences.

One more day. I was like a child opening up the final door on my advent calendar. Tomorrow would be Christmas. I wondered if James was as nervous and excited as I was. It certainly seemed like it yesterday evening. His confidence was not on display yesterday. He was like a Jekyll and Hyde character with me. The polite and courteous Mr Jekyll when we were with everyone else, but when it was just the two of us...trapped in the same enclosed space...he was Mr Hyde. He took what he wanted and he did as he wanted.

My heart trilled at the prospect even though I had no idea how tomorrow would actually turn out. I could not imagine it being a staid affair even though I had to go through the rules. I showered and got changed. I couldn't stay at home anymore. I didn't want to see James. I wanted our anticipation to be heightened through absence. I drove to the office. It was not even 6am.

I texted Mark to say I had gone to the gym. I sent another text to James apologising for the lack of lift and that I would see him later. It was deserted at work. I locked myself into the disabled toilets and started masturbating. All I could think about was tomorrow. D-day. A million and one things could happen. The boiler could explode. The roof could blow off. There could be a mini-tornado in our back garden. None of those things mattered though.

All that mattered was that I was going to spend the afternoon in the firm hands of my son. I came hard and bucked on the seat. I used half the toilet roll in cleaning up after myself. I only hoped that no-one else was in the office and had heard my screech of passion. I knew it was loud.

I got to my desk at 7am and logged on. My little escapade in the toilet had relaxed me and I actually felt like taking on some work. Soon it was 8am and the customary hubbub of the office started up. Mark texted me to say 'no problem' and James sent through a winking emoji. I wasn't sure if he knew the exact reason I had left the house early.

Sometimes I gave him too much credit, but then at moments like this I marvelled at how well he knew me. I thought of what he said that day in the park. How I had instinctively moved into position to allow him to pound my mouth with his cock. Did he just instinctively read me? I would find out soon, I told myself. My credit card arrived in the post. I was concerned it might not reach me due to being addressed to my maiden name, but I had left specific instructions around the delivery and it arrived without hitch.

Two cards in total. Mine would be the main one and an additional card for James. Our incest expenses. The thought made me dizzy as I looked at the cards. The foreign almost unrecognisable name that few people would know me by. Yes, this person was my alter ego. If James had one then I could have one as well. The name on the card, she was the brazen hussy who plotted to bed her son. It wasn't me. I could understand the thrill of an affair now.

The sex was almost secondary to the sordidness of it. The inescapable feeling that I was doing something so wrong was like an aphrodisiac. I wanted to fill each of my senses with it. Lunch came and went. I messaged James to say we should try and avoid each other today. I started typing out, 'let's save ourselves for tomorrow,' before deleting it. I was at the stage where the burner phones would be safer. I knew Whatsapp was encrypted and it was unlikely anyone would discover us from those messages but I just didn't want to take that chance.

I didn't want even the remotest possibility of either one of us sending the wrong message to the wrong person in error on in the throes of passion. The burner phones were part of my incest toolkit. They would be used for this and only this side of us. They would know only one contact, they would receive no voice mails and they would store no photos. The first transaction on my credit card was loading up the phones with credit.

I fantasised what the other expenditure would be. There were so many possibilities. I put James's burner into a jiffy bag. I enclosed the additional card I had ordered for him as well, then sealed it and dropped it into the internal mail. It would reach him before the end of the day. I sent him a message. 'Please open the mail in a private place. Follow instructions!'. He read it and sent back a thumbs up. I wondered if he thought there was something racy in there. My underwear perhaps. I smiled at the thought of him opening the package and finding something much more prosaic inside.

I turned my burner on and waited. It was almost the end of the day before the message came through. The first message was James apologising. He said it took him a while to get some privacy to open the package. Then he said it took him another half an hour to read all my instructions! I wanted to be as comprehensive as possible. In my note I explained why I had purchased the burners and how they would be operated going forward. He said he felt guilty carrying a second phone and using it as well. It was a fair comment.

It was probably harder for a guy to be discreet with it. I could just hide the burner in the recesses of my bag and use it without anyone noticing. It was more apparent if a guy pulled a different phone from his pocket. I made a note to order four phone covers. We would put them on both phones and make it harder to distinguish the difference. The main thing was using them at home. In my instructions I underlined exactly where and when we could use them.

They were to be hidden in our rooms and only used for emergencies if Mark was at home. It probably sounded antithetical, but I had figured we would use them more at work and if we were out. I was curious about what emergency might trigger their use at home, sexual or otherwise. The past week had felt like an emergency. A blaring alarm sounding in my head and now it was just a faint beep in the background. James said he was staying late to cover for his leaving early tomorrow and it would be tomorrow afternoon when we 'could carry on where we left off'.

I stared at the message with a longing in my pussy. I thought about another trip to the disabled toilets but knew I was unlikely to get away with it a second time that day. I replied with 'can't wait' and turned the burner off.

Mark was home when I got there. He seemed a little downbeat so I asked him about his day and he reeled off a list of grievances from work. I kissed him and unbuckled his trousers. I jerked him off in the conservatory as he buried his face in my breasts. I helped him clean up and we kissed a little more before he went out to work in the garden. It was a guilt handjob. A stalling tactic. I didn't want to give myself to him. I wanted to save everything for James. I wondered how much longer I could continue this charade.

I would have to sleep with Mark soon or he would definitely start inquiring as to my state of mind. It was odd how their roles were reversing. I was almost beginning to view Mark as a lost child now. He had grazed his knee and I had kissed it better. That was my interpretation of his complaining and my accompanying handjob.

It wasn't sexy for me. I wasn't turned on as he licked at my areola through my blouse. It was perfunctory. Nothing else. In contrast, James was my lover-in-waiting. I had butterflies at the very thought of being in his presence. My body and mind thrilled at the anticipation of our next meeting. I was making plans for him.

For what I could do to please him. How I could make him mine.

I had dinner and went up to bed. I shut the door. I didn't want to see hide nor hair of James until our agreed rendezvous. I kept the burner in the boot of my car. It was the safest place for it now. I checked my cupboard and tried to lay out my outfit for tomorrow. I felt so naughty trying to decide what to wear. It was crazy. What did he want from me? The ravenous slut from the first time? The terrified ingenue from the second time? Maybe a professional woman. Or frustrated housewife. Or lady of leisure scouting for toyboys. Or perhaps...just his mother. The woman who had raised him, nurtured him, cared for him.

The last woman on earth he should have been taking as a lover. In the end I settled for a floral summer dress and some emerald lingerie underneath it. Understated but still sexy. Alluring but formal. I had washed my black dress the day before along with the blouse from Sunday. I looked at my outfit and thought it would soon be joining those previous clothes. Tools in the inevitable seduction of my son.

Part 14

My alarm woke me. It had been a dreamless night for once. The day was here. Had

it been a week already? Last Friday I had woken up to the Old World for the last time. Every day since had been this New World. I couldn't wait to start exploring it. I jumped out of bed. Mark was still asleep. I stroked his head and he stirred. He was my anchor to the Old World. The ballast that kept me rooted in some small and necessary way.

I wanted to say something to him. I wanted to announce that James was waiting for me on the shore. We were going to go skinny dipping and hunt for oysters and hold each under a waterfall. Our son, Mark. And I was going to do nasty things with him. I didn't feel sorry for him anymore. Just a dull sadness that we had broken apart. There was no drifting or slow separation.

James had detonated me free and now I was in the air looking down at what had been holding me down. I didn't know what I would do with them. I couldn't hurt him. He still meant so much to me. I was always the one with the plan. Even now I was scheduling mine and James's incest timetable and already thinking ahead to what I should do with Mark. I heard the door slam and pulled the curtain back to look outside. James was wheeling his bike out of the garage and getting ready to cycle to work. He looked back in my direction and waved. I waved back but I couldn't tell if he saw me.

'Was that James?' Mark yawned.

'Yes. Just heading out to work,' I answered.

'Work? Oh yes, I forgot you're working from home today. Alright for some.'

I chuckled and sat on the bed.

'I've always been the lucky one,' I winked at him.

He rolled over and kissed me. I felt his arm on my waist and I felt a sense of panic.

'Maybe I should call in sick today. We can spend the day in bed...'

I coughed loudly. He must have thought I was scandalised by the suggestion, but I was shocked and scared. This was it. The one variable that could upset my best-laid plans.

'You old hound dog,' I grinned at him.

'Haha. Yeah, still life in me,' he responded.

His other hand rested on my thigh. I froze in place, unsure how to respond. I had not planned for this.

'You're off Monday aren't you? Wouldn't you rather save it for then, birthday boy?'

'Mmm. You make a good point. Birthday sex is always better than sick day sex.'

I leaned in and kissed him.

'You don't know the half of it,' I whispered.

His eyes lit up and he laughed.

'Wow. Ok then. I play by your rules, Janey. I'll be the worst Beastie Boy. No sex till Monday!'

We laughed as he got out of bed. As he closed the bathroom door I collapsed on the bed in anxiety. I knew I would have to provide on my promise on Monday but at least the problem had been postponed for a few days. I could not have him here now. Not today. I would do whatever I had to on Monday, but this afternoon, those precious few hours belonged to James and me. No-one else. I waited till Mark had finished and jumped in the shower.

I thought about staying in there for longer than normal. Forcing him to leave without a goodbye. But that would be cruel. On top of the cruelty I had already planned into my rotation. I stepped out of the shower as he just finished dressing. He checked his watch and kissed my cheek. He rushed downstairs whistling and wished me a good day. I changed into something comfortable. James was due to finish at half 2 meaning he would get here for 3.

I then realised that was by car or public transport and he had taken his bike. Silly boy. It could take up to 70 minutes for him to make his way back from work on two wheels. He had just cut 40 minutes off our hallowed time. I wondered if I should go and pick him up. I went down to the car and grabbed my burner. I turned it on and fired a quick message to him. It was several minutes before he responded.

'Sorry,' he said. 'Couldn't talk.'

I realised the conversation we were about to have was quite innocuous. A mother enquiring about her son and offering him a lift back. It didn't really need the burners, but I wanted us to get into good habits. He apologised and said he hadn't even thought about that.

I asked if he wanted me to come and collect him. He replied with a smiling emoji. The bastard. He knew how hungry I was for this. He sent another message saying he could leave his bike at work and get an Uber back. I accepted his proposal. It saved me a trip and meant I had more time to get ready for him. He said he would be home for 3. I sent several kisses back.

It was 10am and I had done no work. I had opened my laptop up but been stuck staring at the flashing screen for longer than I cared to admit. I was one of the trusted ones. Relied on by the company to be responsible and work from home in a professional manner. Now, not only was I not doing that but I had arranged for another employee to bunk off early so we could enjoy some 'quality time' together. I answered a few emails which took me to 11am. Still four hours to go.

I went upstairs to the bathroom to shave. I ran my razor over my pussy and realised I was doing it for my son. I wanted it to be smooth for him. I almost came on the spot just thinking about it. It was going to be a long four hours. I wandered naked around my bedroom. I crossed the hall and into James's room. That smell. I wanted to feel it in my nostrils. I shut the door and looked at the spot where I had been a few days ago.

I knelt down to see what it was like without him. He was like an eclipse. He blotted everything else out from what I remembered. There was nothing beyond him. He occupied the entirety of known space. I stretched my jaw open trying to imagine his engorged cock pushing me back against the door. If he could see me now, I'm not sure he would have waited till half 2.

I put my comfortable clothes back on and tried to do some work. A flurry of important messages and queries came through and I worried that they would take the whole day and overrun into my allotted incest time. I wondered whether it was a sign from above on top of Mark suggesting he call in sick. A friendly, celestial nudge as if to say...'you know what? This is really not a good idea.' I ignored it and worked to resolve every aspect of the problem that had come through.

In the end I was able to work through lunch and finish everything off by quarter to 2. I wandered upstairs in a strangely sombre mood. The moment was approaching. I had arranged it. Prepared for it. And now...what was it, cold feet? No, I wanted this. I knew that. I was just nervous. Nervous about crossing a threshold I could not walk back over. But, in a way...I already had. We hadn't had sex yet but the desires we had expressed were the same. The purity of our passion was the same. I pulled out the lingerie and the summer dress.

I sat at my dressing table and worked on my makeup. Again, the thought of preparing myself for my son sent me into a lather. I slipped on my emerald bra and panties with sliver trim. I zipped myself into my dress and checked my reflection. I worked on my hair again. I wanted it to flow down past my shoulders and frame my straining bosom. Some heels next even, though they would be kicked off fairly quickly I presumed. I wanted to raise myself higher to meet his first kiss. I settled on some sage green ones that matched my lingerie.

I finished it off with my pearl necklace. The mark of respectability. The pearls dipped into my decolletage like the promise of a treasure at the bottom of the sea. I felt sexy but prim at the same time. Unattainable but slutty. I was his mother but I wanted to be his whore as well. I didn't want there to a line separating the two things. They were not mutually exclusive to me.

I inspected myself in the mirror again and again, trying to be as critical as possible. I straightened every crease, patted down any stray hairs and checked my foundation for gaps. I looked good even if I did say so myself. I knew I would not be a disappointment. I traipsed downstairs already in a haze of longing. I checked my watch. 245pm.

I imagined a manic James trying to calm himself in the taxi. Sitting quietly and having to listen to the driver's babbling whilst trying not to scream at him to smash the pedal. There was no message on the burner. I thought maybe he would send one through to advise he had left but nothing. He wanted me to be waiting in anticipation, unaware of his exact arrival time.

I went into the lounge and sat at the coffee table. I looked over the walls at the photos of James. As a baby, a child and now a young man. I wasn't shocked by them. I didn't recoil at the thought of what I was about to engage in. We were adults, I told myself. Yes, I was his mother, but we had both arrived at this point with as much deliberation as was possible. I heard the key turn in the door and almost fell off my chair. The door creaked open and James walked in. My wonderful, strapping young man.

'Hi,' I blushed.

'Hi,' he answered back.

He dropped his bag to the floor and walked over. He was still in his work suit though the tie had been dispensed with.

'You made it then,' I asked wistfully.

'Oh...well, I had to juggle a few things around. You know, shift a few appointments here and there.'

We grinned at each other.

'You look amazing,' he said hoarsely.

'Oh, this old thing?' I twirled around and posed for his benefit.

'It's incredible. Just...wow, Mum. Wow.'

I got up and took his hands in mine.

'I know, sweetie. I know.'

'Do you...do you mind if I just grab a shower first?'

'No, of course not,' I told him.

'Great. I just...I feel rather tawdry stood next to you. I want to get clean.'

I let him go and he hustled up the stairs. He almost tripped up before he reached the top. I settled back into my chair and waited. I felt a warm glow at his compliments. It was gratifying to still be an object of lust and desire. I wasn't that old, but I was of an age where husbands started to lose interest and turn their gaze towards younger and more nubile models.

I was the exception. It was I who had started to lose interest in Mark and turn my attention elsewhere. I heard the bathroom door open and close and the frantic opening and closing of drawers and cupboards above me. I thought of a freshly scrubbed James preparing himself for me and my juices quickened.

He managed to get down the stairs at a relatively sedate pace. By which I mean he didn't fall down them. He had changed into some chinos and a crisp polo shirt. He smelled divine. I was going to have him, I told myself. I was going to have him soon. He came and sat next to me at the coffee table.

'Our first date,' he mused.

'Yes. I suppose it is. I'm sorry to have to start it with the formalities. Just...just so we're ok with everything.'

He shook his head.

'No. You're right, Mum. We should have a plan. There should be rules.'

'I'm glad you agree.'

'How about...the first rule of incest club is you do not talk about incest club?'

I sniggered and rolled my eyes.

'Be serious,' I said.

'I am being serious,' he grinned. 'It's weird...hearing it out loud.'

'What...incest?'

'Yes,' he answered with a look of hunger in his eyes. I tried to stifle myself.

'Well, obviously no-one can know. I mean the rules of engagement. This...this isn't like any other relationship. There can't be public displays of affection. We're not going to take photos or film each other. We can't elope or run off somewhere.'

'Why not?' he asked.

I couldn't tell if he was being serious.

'Maybe not to start with...but in the future...who knows? Maybe a weekend break. Somewhere on the continent. Where no-one knows or cares who we are.'

He had such an earnest look on his face. It sounded heavenly, but that was an aspiration for later. Right now, we had to focus on the present.

'So...I don't think we should do anything while your father is in the house. It's just too risky.'

'What about if he's in the garden?'

'I...I don't know. We were lucky...last week.'

'We need to tag him with some kind of proximity alert that would make it easier.'

I laughed and then continued. I felt like a spoilsport with my suggestions. Like I was putting up roadblocks on our path of incestuous pleasures. But I knew that one false move could cost us everything. James grumbled and tried to think of solutions to circumvent my rules but I shot them down one by one.

'This is just at the start. As things...progress then we can revisit them. Decide on a risk calculation. The important thing to remember is...we have time. Space as well. Maybe not as much as we would like but enough. Let's see how this works for us.'

I felt like I was a coach giving a motivational speech to his wayward superstar. I wanted James to understand the sacrifice I was making. I wasn't a consolation prize. We agreed the house was the best place as long as Mark was not there. That was sacrosanct. The guest room was the most obvious choice.

Mark rarely went in there and it would be easier to clean up after ourselves. Work was also off limits. Other places would be considered as long as they were vetted first. The burners and cards were to be used exclusively for our secret pastime. If one of us wanted to stop then we just had to say so. I implemented that particular rule. It seemed obvious really. I had no idea how long this would last.

Whether it was a momentary infatuation for both of us or something deeper and stronger. We might burn out by September when James headed off to university. We agreed we would stop if necessary and revert to our normal roles without bitterness or rancour. It sounded easy like a contract being exchanged. But I didn't want to swap ink with him. I wanted to exchange my cum for his. On an immediate and ongoing basis. I checked my watch. It was 430pm. We had been talking when we could have been doing something much more interesting. James laughed when I told him the time.

'When is Dad back?'

'Probably 7 or 8. I'll text to ask in a little while.'

'What about...protection?'

I chapped my lips. I had thought of this. Of course I had. Strange as it sounded I did not figure it into my plans. It was like the final acknowledgement of what was about to happen.

'I'm on the pill. We should be ok,' I answered.

He grinned wolfishly and I beamed back at him. Yes, none of those pesky condoms for me. I wanted to naturally feel every last inch of him.

'Ok...so. Are you ready?'

He stood up and offered his hand out. I uncrossed my legs and took it.

'Where to, mother?'

My heart skipped a beat at the way he pronounced, 'mother'.

'You know where,' I said huskily.

Part 15

He led me out of the living room and up the stairs. It was slow, erotic and I felt like every step I took I was treading on a landmine that would set my pussy off. He pushed open the door to the guest room. We sat on the bed and looked at each other. He moved to kiss me and I met his lips. It was clumsy and we both laughed. We tried again and bumped foreheads.

There's an episode of Friends when Joey and Rachel try to pursue a romantic relationship, but as they sit and try to kiss, Rachel keeps slapping Joey. Not because she doesn't want him, but because it felt weird. It felt alien to their normal relationship. It felt a little like that at the start with James. He was more nervous than I had expected. I could feel his hand shaking against my leg. I stopped to ask him if he was alright. He apologised.

'I'm sorry, Mum. It's just...I feel like you're going to clip me round the back of the

head and tell me off or something.'

I smirked and took his hand in mine.

'No, I think we're well past that, son of mine. If there's any spanking to be done then it won't be me dishing it out.'

He went red and gasped. I laughed at his discomfort. It was the polar opposite to the man from the weekend, but I liked this version as well. I felt like I was deflowering him. And that was just as naughty as him taking me roughly.

'I know it's strange. It might go against everything you know, but it feels good. It feels natural. I'm your mother. You know me as your mother. I want you to know me as a woman as well.'

I pulled him in and we kissed. It was harder this time. More urgent. His tongue mashed against mine as we hungrily tasted each other. His hand moved up my leg, past my waist before settling on my breast. I moaned as he squeezed it. My hand reciprocated. It moved across his chest and down to the warm depths of his groin. He moaned into my mouth and sucked on my tongue. I fell backwards as his bulk settled over me.

His cock dug into my thigh, desperate for release. He ran his fingers through my hair. We kissed as if we were old lovers who had been separated unjustly. Eventually I pushed him back.

'Help me out of my clothes,' I croaked.

He stood and pulled me up. He dipped his head. I put my arms around his neck and we kissed. He placed his hands on my hips and drew me into him. Our tongues met and danced slowly together in our mouths. I could feel his raging hard-on poking me in the stomach like a wonderful promise on the cusp of realisation.

'Unzip me,' I asked.

He brushed my hair away and licked the nape of my neck. His hand felt for the zipper and gently pulled it down. I kicked my heels off as the dress fell to the floor.

'Oh God, Mum. You are unreal. The sexiest thing I have laid eyes on.'

My mouth crinkled in pleasure. I pulled my panties up and adjusted my bra while

James stood and admired.

'Now, you.' I told him.

He ripped off his shirt and could not pull his chinos off quickly enough. I laughed at his impatience.

'We have time, James. We have time.'

'That's what you think, Mum.'

He grabbed me by the waist and locked his lips onto mine. His hands were everywhere. Long, sinuous fingers squeezing my buttocks and massaging my breasts. I reached out for his cock. It was down to its final layer. Its wait would soon be over. It felt so thick and tumescent in my hands. We petted ferociously.

We groped, fondled and pawed at every part of our bodies. I unhooked my bra and he buried himself in my breasts. He slurped at the nipples as I pulled him in closer to me. His hand felt at my panties. They were so wet now. I held his wrist as he rubbed against the damp silk. He kissed a trail down to my navel and delicately pulled my panties down. He held them aloft in his hands like a trophy.

'These belong to me now,' he whispered.

I licked the roof of my mouth as I stood before him, his mother, naked save for my pearl necklace and watch. The watch was an anniversary gift from Mark. It was being used for a feral purpose now, to keep time as I copulated with our son. James dropped his briefs and I gasped as his penis greeted me, soaring like a javelin. I took off my necklace and hung it over his penis. The pearls swayed gently as his cock throbbed.

We stopped to savour the moment. Both naked and sweating. Him leaking from his penis and me leaking from my pussy. We were ready. I did not want to wait any longer. I slid onto the bed and took his hand in mine. He took the necklace off and placed it on the bedside table. He shifted my legs and made room for himself. He stroked my pussy with his finger as I bit my tongue.

'Whatever should I do now, mother?' he teased.

I didn't want to take his bait. I didn't want to show him just how desperate I was for this. But it was a moot point. I was here, in the bedroom, next to my marital bedroom. I was naked, on my back, dribbling from my pussy and crying out for him to fuck me.

'Jesus, James. Fuck me. Fuck Mummy. Please.'

That set him off. He moved into position. I watched in wanton excitement as he pushed his cock into me for the first time. My pussy quaked. It quailed in a mixture of fear and ecstasy as James slid himself into me. It wasn't that he was just big but he was so thick at the same time. I was grateful to be so wet otherwise I couldn't be sure I could fit him all in.

'Mum...', he looked down at me in genuine wonderment. As though he could not believe what was happening.

'You're so wet, Mum.'

'Ah...well, I think you're...oh...at least...partly responsible, James. Oh God!'

I cried out as he began to fuck me. The feeling was so intense and it had only just begun. I held onto his arms as he laboured above me. I peered down and watched as his slick cock worked in and out of my pussy. It was wonderful, hypnotic. Each thrust in and out was a chronicle of my pleasure. I looked into his face.

His mouth was still open and his face still a picture of shock at what was transpiring. I wondered how I looked to him. If my features were in a similar state of dumbfoundment. He stooped to kiss me and I welcomed his ravening tongue into my mouth. We muffled each other's moans with our tongues. He increased his rhythm and my pussy squelched in approval.

I felt like the experience was almost wasted on me. I wanted to record it and relive and analyse the parts that I had missed through the heights of our passion. I wanted to taste the mixed juices oozing from my cunt. I wanted to hear our intermingled animal noises. I wanted to hold onto his backside as it shovelled his cock inside me. I wanted to scratch his back with my nails and mark him. It was a glorious tapestry of carnal pleasures and I wanted to see it all.

We touched foreheads and stared into each others eyes and for a moment I forgot we were coupled and lost myself in those endless blue eyes.

'Oh God, Mum. I'm going to cum,' he whimpered.

'Yes, baby! Yes, cum in me! I want it. I want to feel it!'

He shouted and I felt the explosion. It rippled through his penis like a shock wave and flooded my pussy. I came instantly. The instant I felt it. The hot cum of my son roaring into me. I felt like I was having a stroke. As though my orgasm had paralysed all the parts my body that would not recognise or appreciate this unadulterated euphoria.

We lay there shaking. Neither of us spoke. His penis became flaccid and rested in my stunned pussy. We stared at each other, still unable to comprehend the magnitude of what we had done and how it had turned out.

'Wow...' James eventually said.

I tried to mouth a response but was unable to. He lifted himself up and out of me. I looked down at his dangling penis, its glans shiny with my juices.

'That...that was unbelievable,' I murmured. I rolled over and lay my head on his

chest.

'We are definitely doing that again,' he whispered.

I laughed and rested my head on my elbow.

'Well...if you insist,' I pouted.

'Oh my God, Mum. I didn't know...I had no idea that it could be as good as that.'

'Maybe you weren't doing it properly before.'

He laughed and poked me in my ribs. My breasts rested on his stomach, milky white orbs crowned with a red flush.

'So you didn't enjoy it then? You want to stop?'

'Well, I didn't say that...' I stuck my tongue out at him.

'God, Mum. I feel...I feel like I've won the lottery.'

'It was amazing, James. You must know that. I mean...the evidence is still coating your dick if you want to double check.'

'I came in you, Mum.'

Just hearing him say that. Thinking about his reams of cum squirming around my throbbing pussy gave me goosebumps.

'I know. It was...'

'So hot...so incredible. And I'm going to do it again.'

'Yes. Yes, you are.'

He laughed and covered his eyes.

'I had a wank in the shower,' he blurted out.

'You mean after you got home? Haha, I bet you did!'

'Hey! I just...I didn't want to come too soon. I wanted to make it last.'

'Oh, you were doing it for me? How noble. How selfless.'

He flicked my ear and I hooted in protest. We grappled with each other like, well, lovers. He let me pin him down as we nuzzled each other. His cum dribbled out of my pussy and dried on his stomach. We said nothing but stared. A perfect moment of quiet reflection.

'I'm glad,' he said.

'What? That I said I wanted to continue?'

'No. That you're my mother. You're so hot. A bona fide MILF.'

'And you're a bona fide motherfucker.'

He grinned.

'Yes. And I will continue being a motherfucker for a long while yet.'

He pulled at my wrist to look at the watch.

'What time is it?'

'5:30.'

'We should leave half an hour at least to get cleaned up and changed.'

'Why?'

'James!' I clipped him round the head.

'There she is. There's my mother.'

'You mean I haven't been your mother for the past hour?'

'Of course you have. My favourite version of you...my mother-lover.'

'I mean it, James. We both reek of sex. This room needs airing out and we need to have a long shower. Remember the rules.'

'Oh, the rules.' He waved his hand dismissively.

'I'm serious, James.'

He took my hand and placed it on his penis. I cocked my head like a good irritated parent. The heat coming off his dick was incredible. It started to grow hard again. I watched it expand with a barely concealed hunger. He tipped my face towards him and we kissed. I coaxed his penis back to its full glory as we dripped saliva onto the bed sheets.

He cupped my breasts and tweaked at my hard nipples as his tongue fought a losing battle against mine. I had never know such a fervid desire. It was mad, unconscionable, criminal. It was the most delicious passion I had ever felt. The touch of his hands, the feel of his lips on mine, the way his cock stretched me out. I had never been an addict but I was addicted to this. Every moment of doubt, guilt and self-loathing was eclipsed by orgasms so pure I thought they would never end.

He got up off the bed and dragged me to the edge. He hooked my knees over his head as he jacked his cock. I stroked his torso as I prepared to receive him again. He pushed me back a little as though checking the angles to ensure optimal penetration. I gasped as he entered me. It had only been a few minutes but it was like my pussy had forgotten the size of him. I gripped onto the bed cover as he began fucking me again.

It was outrageous. Feeling this good should not be legal. It wasn't legal, I reminded myself. Maybe that's why I was enjoying it so much. I watched in awe as my son steadily fed me his cock. I laid back and let the pleasure wash over me.

'Text Dad.'

'What?'

I lifted my head up unsure if he had said something or it was some delirium-induced noise.

'You heard me. Ask him when he's back.'

I grumbled as he stopped his piledriving motion. His cock was half in and half out of me. I was on my back with my legs in the air. He tossed me my phone. I unlocked it and started the message. He resumed his fucking and I immediately made a series of typos. I didn't care. The feeling of James's cock ploughing in and out of my overwhelmed pussy was just too much. I let out a loud groan as I came.

James took this as incentive and began pounding me harder. He flipped my legs up over his shoulders and renewed his thrusting with even more force.

'Did you send it?' he panted at me.

'Dear God James, I can barely remember how to breathe right now!'

He stopped and took a breath. He pulled his cock out and rubbed the head against my clit. I came again with sharp moan. He handed my phone back to me.

'Send it,' he ordered.

I somehow picked the phone up with my spastic fingers. The textbox was a line of gibberish. The sound of my cries as my son ravished me. I deleted it and wrote a more cogent message. I read out loud an imaginary message.

'Hi darling. When are you back? Shall we order takeaway? Please could you confirm your ETA? I'm having sex with our son and I'd really rather not be interrupted while he is banging my brains out.'

James laughed hoarsely. He grabbed at my breasts and played with the nipples. I shifted my pussy down, eager for him to recommence his fucking. Mark replied back. We both held our breath as I checked the message, the contents of which would determine just how comprehensively we could fuck each other over the next few hours.

'Ah,' I said.

'What? You're teasing me, aren't you?'

'No. I wish...I wish I was. He'll be here at 7.'

There was a deflated look on his face. I laughed at the image he projected just then. His rock hard cock protruding from my inflamed pussy while he stood there with a look of melancholy.

'What's so funny?'

'Nothing, baby. Just fuck me. Fuck Mummy. Fill her with your cum again.'

He pushed my legs back past my head and leaned forward.

'You know best, mother.'

He resumed his rampant penetration and I shouted myself hoarse. These were not my usual noises, my hushed 'oohs' and 'ahs' with Mark. These were the screechings and exhortations of a woman in heat. A woman aflame. Each cry was answered by James. We were in consonance. It was only the second time, but our bodies had achieved a harmony that belied this short time. We were like new initiates discovering a secret altar together.

I lifted my hips to accommodate his flailing cock. It was so hard. It filled me so perfectly. Everything was perfect. The way he pushed down on my legs, pinning them over my head. The sweat dripping off his fevered brow. The tight hold of his hands on my hips. The awe-struck look on his face. Half-concentration, half- astonishment.

It was then that I understood his disappointment. Not just at Mark coming back earlier than advertised, but having to skulk around. Having to clean up and make ourselves presentable. At that moment in time my only desire was to spend the night with James, experiencing orgasm after orgasm after orgasm. He sped up. Our bodies crashed against each other and the slapping sounds of flesh were music to my ears. All of my plans and rules. All the hiding and discretion. It was suddenly meaningless in the face of this blazing passion.

I knew then. Why that couple I had googled had revealed themselves to the world. They were not ashamed of what they had done. They were proud of their love. I was not ashamed either. There was only pride found in such heightened pleasure. James started moaning. I could not be sure if he was close. It was a thrill to have a new lover and learn his lovemaking tics. Was he close or just teasing? Was this his favourite position or did he favour another? How could I get another dose of his beautiful cum? I came at the thought and James joined me.

We reached a crescendo of screams and I'm quite sure the windows rattled and the neighbours heard me. My pussy twitched in delight as his cum shot through me. He collapsed onto me and I licked the sweat from his brow. I pulled his backside into me, not wanting the joy of his hilted cock to be removed from my pussy.

We lay there till 6 just stroking and holding each other. I got up first and groaned. I felt like I had just run a marathon. My legs ached. My arms dangled limply from my shoulders. My mouth felt dry. I felt at my pussy. It was sore but it was a happy soreness. I ran my finger over it and brushed a string of cum from my pussy lips. I looked at it and put it into my mouth, marvelling at the taste and texture of our sex. It was a feast for the senses. This joyous forbidden fruit that we fed to each other. James was still laid out on the bed. He looked like he was dozing.

'James!' I hissed.

He grunted and remained still.

'James. Please jump in the shower. That is all I am asking you to do. I'll clean up here, but please just get yourself ready for when your father gets here.'

He pushed himself up and sighed.

'Please. I don't want to nag you. If you're serious about this then please work with me. I don't want to do this with a reluctant child. I want to do this with a man.'

He got up and nodded. He picked up his clothes and my panties. He twirled them in the air and grinned. I smiled back. We kissed as he walked out of the room. That was smoother than I expected. It was easy for him to ignore the woman who nagged and scolded him, but he was not quite ready to offend the woman whose pussy milked him dry.

I collected my dress, bra and heels and took them to my room. James was in the shower so I took some new linen out and changed the bed in the guest room. I opened the window and sprayed deodorant. After James had cleaned up, it was my turn. I luxuriated in the soapy water as it washed away my afternoon of lovemaking with my son. I realised it was the happiest I had felt in a long time. The rut I had thought I was content to stay in had shattered. I was looking at a new horizon, one which I didn't even know existed.

I dried myself and changed into my normal home apparel. Baggy t-shirt and sweatpants. My afternoon as sex-vamp was over and I needed to just be a homebody again. I dragged the offending articles of our passion downstairs and put them in the wash. James was in the kitchen eating some cereal.

'I don't mind you taking my panties, James but for the love of God please be

careful. I don't want your father stumbling across them and asking questions.'

He chuckled.

'Don't worry, Mum. If he does, I'll just tell him the truth. I have them because I'm a pervert who's hot for you.'

I laughed and threw a towel at him. He ducked and scurried into the conservatory. I started cooking for Mark. Fresh tortilla and salad. It was ready by the time he came home just after 7. I kissed him and asked how his day was. James talked to him about what route to take for their bike ride in the morning. I checked the guest room before joining them to eat.

It was quiet, peaceful. There was no inkling that not so long ago it had hosted the unholy passions of our incestuous union. I closed the window and smoothed the bed sheets one last time. The room which was only used sparingly would now see an influx of action. The mattress springs would creak to the cadence of our sweating bodies. There would be new furrows and grooves created from our mad coupling. The slats would curve and splinter from the pressure of my hips and back as James ploughed into me. I relived the memories of the afternoon and promised myself they would just be the beginning.

I walked back downstairs. We sat at the table and enjoyed a family dinner. Mark sat at the head of the table while I faced James. There were no furtive looks or glances of longing between James and myself. I did not snake out a leg to play footsie and he did not make lewd faces. I think we both knew we had something special. We wanted to follow the rules. We wanted to our clandestine heat to continue.

Yes, we would have both continued that afternoon had time allowed. We would have explored more of each other's bodies and desires. But there was time.

All we had to do was be patient. Perhaps our eventual destination was Hell. A tenth circle created especially for us and the wantonness of our actions. And we would placed either end of the circle. Unable to touch or talk to each other. But the memories would be indelible. And that would be enough.

I brought out bowls of ice cream for them and waited till they finished. James went up to his room first. I sat and talked more with Mark.

I didn't feel any guilt. In my mind, he would never know. He would never find out. I could still try and maintain my normal relationship with him. It might be difficult, it might be a chore but I now had a powerful motivation. The merest thought of James heaving over me as his cock bombarded my pussy was all the stimulant I needed. I would do whatever it took to ensure he would cum in me again and again. I walked up to bed with Mark and we prepared to sleep.

I was relieved it was Friday. I needed a lie-on to recover. Maybe I would have to start working out. In a strange way I felt competitive. In a battle of our stamina I would not be the one to quit first. No, it would be him pleading pause and rest, not me. My heart rose at the thought. The thought of fucking my son.

Not just tomorrow or the day after that but long into the future. Until my pussy was a worn out husk and his cock was a crooked, timid thing. It would be wonderful.

I checked my phone to see there was a message from James. A solitary heart emoji. I smiled and replied back with the same message.