Chapter Four

Noveli

I'm not sure how long I stayed there in Kelly's arms on the edge of a panic attack. Marco had helped me. He had seen me at the start of crumbling. Shame consumed me for being weak. For not being strong enough to just deal with my own problems.

"Hey. Don't do that." Marco says, sitting next to Kelly where we sat on the floor.

"You know when I lost my first Wife. I was lost in grief. I didn't know what to do with Three boys. I was way in over my head. But Thomas was there. He helped me a lot by being there. It took a long time for me to live." Taking hold of my hand he squeezes lightly.

"It might be hitting you hard now, but it gets better. And I'm glad you feel safe enough to allow yourself to feel here." He whispers, His eyes staring into mine. My eyes were heavy, my energy drained from the emotions and the long drive here.

"Rest." Kelly whispers as she helps me up and helps me to my bed. It was something a mother would do. Something I've grown accustomed to doing for Theo. Asson as my head hit the pillow darkness consumed me.

"Veli, wake up." Kelly said, causing me to stir.

I looked out a huge window to the forest. Rain tapping against the roof. Glancing over my room I took in our new home.

"Get ready for dinner. The Boys aren't here. They went to the lake house." Kelly assured me. Good I didn't need to feel even more uncomfortable my first night. Today was already overwhelming as it is.

"I will be down in an hour." I said watching Kelly go down the stairs, the faint clicks of my door closing behind her.

Opening my suitcase, I took out some comfortable lounge clothes rushing to my shower. A giddy feeling washing over me. This bathroom was truly gorgeous. Turning the water on scolding hot I lathered my hair and body with shampoo and body wash. I imagined the water washing off all the disgusting memories. I concentrated on conditioning my hair, taking in the lightness of being here.

When I know longer felt the need to wash away the memories I dried off and changed into a black lounge set and put on my pink Nike sliders.

I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't a feast. There were only four of us here. Sara placed down my plate of Salmon and white rice with grilled asparagus on the side.

"How long did I sleep?" I asked. Marco sat at the head of the table Kelly right next to him. I was across from her, Theo Right next to me. Started cutting his fish into smaller bites for him. Making sure to check for bones. It might just be in my head, but I was paranoid. I wonder if this was how every mother felt for their child. I had been the one to raise Theo with the help of two adults but here I would get more help.

"Nine hours. Please let Sara feed him. Eat Veli." Marco grumbled.

Moving away I ate in silence as I watched Sara like a hawk feeding Theo. He giggled at her when she made the train noises before feeding him some food. I smiled at the sound of hearing him happy, content.

"Marco had all your classes set up like we discussed." I glanced at Marco as he nodded her head.

"Thanks. That must have been hard. The dean was being a hard ass when I got on the phone with him last month."

"No. He's a Friend. Also, I made several donations to that school, so it was no problem." he assured me. Ahh. That makes a lot more sense.

"When will the boys be back?" I ask, a little nervous. It's not necessarily them, it's just meeting new people. I like to keep to myself better, yet I like staying in my room like a hermit.

"Well classes start next week So I assume it's Sunday night. They throw a big party at our lake house to start off the new year." He looks at me as I eat some rice and salmon. The lemon juice makes my mouth pucker at the sour taste.

"You should make those purchases I suggested and go to the party. Meet some people your age that go to the same school." He suggests. Kelly shakes her head in acknowledgment.

"I agree. You need to learn how to have fun. I don't think you have ever asked me to go out anywhere the whole time you've lived with me." She was right I hadn't, but I did that on purpose. It was safer inside where he couldn't see me. Now we are no near him. There was no excuse. I had to go. To try and live.

"I'll try." I acknowledged and everyone at the table smiled at me. Thomas and Sara included. I guess they could tell or maybe Kelly had confided in them because of my reluctance to have someone help me with Theo. Either way I was grateful.