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DC: I am Batman

Adam, a regular guy, gets flung not just through time, but through dimensions, and BAM! He's the Caped Crusader himself. Except... he didn't sign up for the genius IQ, the ninja moves, or the whole "saving the world" gig. And the cherry on top? He gets Batman's powers and memories, but they're all from parallel universes. Talk about a batty situation! .......... Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the fanfic i was merely translating this. ---This is a Translation--- Original Author: Mr. Bone Frame

LIl_wretch · Tranh châm biếm
Không đủ số lượng người đọc
39 Chs

Robin's Suspicion

Third-generation Robin, Tim Drake, sat sullenly in Batman's chair before the Batcomputer, shackled at wrists and ankles like a scorned lover."Alfred, something's off with Batman lately. Definitely, definitely off."He mimicked a stern voice: "Ignoring Batman's orders is almost a traditional skill of every generation of Robin, so I'm sorry, dear Tim, I'm afraid I have to lock you up."Tim wanted to kick himself for foolishly extending his hands when Batman asked."Hahaha."Alfred arrived with a plate of pastries. "Occasional taking a break is part of being Robin, Master Tim. Care for a treat? Taffy or chocolate?""Both!"Tim grabbed the pastries, his voice muffled through a mouthful of taffy."Mm... thanks! But seriously, Alfred, I think something's wrong with Bruce."He swallowed a large bite."Maybe it's mind control, maybe a magical soul swap, maybe another Mad Hatter scheme – but I beat him for two hours and he refused to tell me. In fact, no matter who the soul living in Batman's body is now, at least... I think he is definitely not Bruce."The young Robin set the empty plate down, his expression turning grave."I gotta say, he's the best actor I've ever seen. Even Basil Karlo would be impressed."Tim paused, then continued:"But even the greatest actor can't imitate something he doesn't fundamentally understand. His grasp of Batman is flawed – Bruce is just a man, Alfred.""No matter how intimidating Bruce seems to others, we both know he's mortal. But this imposter plays Batman like a god! A god walking among men!""The spirit, the presence, the sheer force – I've seen Bruce angry, but this fake is a hundred times more terrifying. I feel my heart stop when he looks at me!"He spoke with growing frustration. "I've secretly run over forty tests these past three days. Iris scans, fingerprints, DNA, bio-AI logic analysis, gait recognition... It all points to him being the genuine Bruce Wayne!"He met Alfred's gaze, deadly serious. "But then, why? Hiring mercenaries to fight Arkham's crazies, abandoning Robin to work alone. Sure, ditching Robin's a classic Batman move, but this feels different."His eyes darkened. "And that retirement nonsense... He's not Bruce. Maybe we should capture him, pry the truth out of him with a crowbar and a whip."........."This is bad."Adam, still maintaining his Batman-esque facade, felt his heart pounding.Thankfully, the Batman facade scared off the real Bane, giving him a relief.Things were playing out exactly as he'd predicted. Bane wasn't just a brute, but a cunning predator.He would never confront Batman head-on until he was certain of victory. In the comics, he'd waited over three months, letting Batman wear himself out rounding up the Arkham escapees, before launching a sneak attack. Such a cautious foe wouldn't risk a final showdown here.Adam still had time - before his own weaknesses were exposed.He descended the debris pile, approaching Deadshot and the others.[Warning! Anchor prop " Javelin's Broken Javelin" detected][...Anchor prop "Slipknot's Broken Rope"][...Anchor prop "Tattooed Man's Severed Hand"]Adam paused, staring at the silvery instructions flashing across his vision, deep in thought.What did this mean? Seriously, what was this?Why could he loot anchor props from his fallen teammates?He was outraged, trembling with righteous fury. Was he, the Dark Knight, the Caped Crusader, Gotham's protector, the world's greatest detective, Batman himself, reduced to scavenging the remains of his comrades for scraps?Looking at the relics, Adam felt a lump in his throat, a profound sadness welling up within him.No! Never!A hero had principles!He would never stoop so low, not even in death!"..."Half a second later, Adam tearfully caress the bag. Forget it, anyway, Batman beating up his teammates was a Justice League tradition anyway. A few more wouldn't hurt.[The Javelins's Broken Javelin: Once used by Digger Harkness to win many Olympic gold medals. Though headless now, the remaining materials are just enough to make a flagpole.]["This Javelin is my wife!"]Adam realized that Javelin not only lacked a house, but also had a Javelin for a wife. He should've seen it coming. How could a man like Javelin have a normal wife? DC villains were often a bit... eccentric.[Slipknot's Broken Rope: Christopher Weiss doubted everything, except his rope. In the lonely hours of the night, he even used it for... pleasure. Whenever he tied someone up, a confident smile would grace his lips.]["Oh, yes, yes, yes! The rope answers me... I trust its judgment."]This one was even worse.Adam vowed never to hire such a pervert again. Especially one who got himself killed while drunk.[Tattooed Man's Severed Hand: John Oakes was once an ordinary sailor, until a prison brawl introduced him to the original Tattooed Man, Abel Tarrant. He kept the anchor tattoo from his sailor days as a reminder of his youth.]["Slippery, I tell ya, the deck was real slippery!"][Converted Crisis Energy Units: 10]Adam was dumbfounded. Three weaklings, and they only yielded a measly 10 crisis energy units between them. The same amount as Ventriloquist alone.But how was this crisis energy calculated, anyway? Any of these three could hold their own against Ventriloquist, so why so little?[Warning! None of the three anchored objects have located the target Batman! You will be randomly matched with three weak and low-level Batmen...][Matched: Bat-Baby][Do you wish to consume 1 unit of crisis energy to synchronize?]Adam noticed a small, silvery description beneath the matched Batman:[A Batman from a dark multiverse, reincarnated with his memories into a baby's body. Later died from falling down the stairs while attempting to walk due to his heavy head.][Threat level: unranked]Adam's face darkened. What use was a top-heavy baby? Would villains surrender to his cuteness?No way![Immediate synchronization aborted, data saved. You may synchronize with this Batman at any time by consuming 1 unit of crisis energy.][Matching again... Success][Matched: Batman][A Batman from a dark multiverse who purchased Gotham City and turned it into his medieval fiefdom, then was killed by Superman for his villainy.]"..."Adam was speechless. Superman resorting to murder? What a grim and twisted reality.No synchronization![Matching again... Success][Matched: Mayor Batman][Bruce Wayne from a dark multiverse, who never became Batman but instead became mayor of Gotham. He was assassinated, his head displayed on a Wayne Tower gargoyle as a warning against defying the gangs.]"..."Another useless ability. Adam sighed, then turned his gaze to the three wounded figures sprawled on the ground.Stare~