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DC: I am Batman

Adam, a regular guy, gets flung not just through time, but through dimensions, and BAM! He's the Caped Crusader himself. Except, he didn't sign up for the genius IQ, the ninja moves, or the whole "saving the world" gig. And the cherry on top? He gets Batman's powers and memories, but they're all from parallel universes. .......... Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the fanfic i was merely translating this.

LIl_wretch · Tranh châm biếm
Không đủ số lượng người đọc
75 Chs

29

Green. Endless green. 

Plant master, Jason Woodrue, opened his eyes wide. He felt as if he were falling onto a dewy meadow in the early morning, the scent of chlorophyll filling his senses. Countless green veins spread from the soles of his feet to the top of his head, making him intoxicated and dizzy.

He murmured in a trance, "Oh... I never realized it before." Dogwelder charged forward. His method of justice was to weld dead dogs to the faces of criminals. But this time, he faced something more than an ordinary villain. With a resounding boom, Dogwelder was sent flying backward. A wooden dragon and a giant plant crab rose beneath the Plant Master, revealing the extent of his transformation. 

Adam frowned. Would he need to intervene? "What did you just eat... was that a yam?" He asked.

"A very special yam," The Plant Master replied. He spread his hands, and the wooden dragon beneath him raised its head, roaring at the onlookers. "It has some unique properties. I extracted six tubers like this from the corpse of the Swamp Thing years ago - you know, you have to do it right after he dies." 

He continued solemnly, "I've been saving them, waiting for an opportunity like this."

With a thud, Poison Ivy was knocked down the hillside by Harley Quinn, landing in front of their wooden house. The lab table nearby was overflowing with chemicals and plant extracts. 

"What's that saying, Ivy?

Poison Ivy sighed. "I don't have that much time." 

She gestured, and instantly, Harley's feet were tied by vines erupting from the ground. Poison Ivy turned, swiftly gathering the bottles of raw materials from the table and stuffing them into her bag. Behind her, Professor Goldblum stood motionless, his eyes glowing an eerie green. 

"That ain't fair!" Harley Quinn whined, sprawled on the ground, reaching out to Poison Ivy with a pleading hum. Poison Ivy ignored her. 

"Is that the stuff for your virus, Ivy?" Harley asked, changing tactics. 

"It's the antidote, actually," Poison Ivy replied. "It can save the world, no matter what." Harley sat up, incredulous. "What are ya talkin' about? You haven't even tested it, have ya? You don't plan on testing it again, do ya?" 

"Batman said if you mess this up, you'll kill everyone on the planet, Pam! People, animals, plants... is that what you want?" Poison Ivy paused, her expression hardening. "Even if I don't do this, the Earth will be destroyed in other ways. All we need is the swamp water from Louisiana, and once we have it, we'll succeed." 

"I'm sorry, Harley," she continued, her voice softening. "Sometimes you have to go all in. Plant Master is right, there's no time for the Green, and there's no time for the Red." 

In the darkened swamp, shrouded by the swaying shadows of the trees, the pale green-skinned woman spoke again. "The forces of darkness are stirring, Harley. The Swamp monster is dead, and no one can wield the Red in its entirety. No one can stop them unless we try."

"So, no matter what I do, you won't give up?" Harley asked, sitting up fully now, her face devoid of its usual cheer. "Okay, fine. When this is all over, just remember."

"I gave you a chance." "You want..." Harley trailed off, her voice thick with emotion. Poison Ivy turned, but before she could finish her sentence, she saw Harley Quinn removing her clown hat. 

"No," Ivy whispered, a note of dread in her voice. 

"That's right, puddin'," Harley said softly, slowly wiping away her exaggerated smoky eye makeup. "Time to play my trump card."

"You promised me you'd never—" Poison Ivy pleaded. Harley Quinn wiped away the rest of her makeup, revealing her face. She lowered her eyelids, her expression as sorrowful as a lost fawn, then opened her sea-blue eyes. The world seemed to still for a moment, caught in Harley Quinn's silent grief.

"Harley, I'm warning you—" Poison Ivy began, but her voice wavered. The first tear welled up in Harley's eyes, a tiny lake of sorrow that could melt even the hardest heart. Harley bit her lower lip, her voice trembling. "I won't let you do this." 

Tears began to fall, one by one. 

"Wah, wah, wah, wah..." Poison Ivy crumpled, throwing the vials of virus ingredients to the ground. She began to cry, pulling Harley into a tight embrace. "Wah, wah, wah... I hate you so much! I really, really hate you!" 

Harley hugged her back, tears streaming down her face. "Wah, wah, wah, it always works," she sobbed. She tried to hold back her tears, blowing her hair out of her face. 

"Shh!" she whispered, comforting Ivy. 

..... 

Meanwhile, the battle raged on. "The first column has fallen." a soldier reported, his voice strained. "This monster isn't even fazed by tanks!" another exclaimed. "Help! Someone help me!" 

Boom! 

Bodies piled up, blood flowed like a river. "No! Help! Help! Don't come any closer! What kind of monster are you? You're not—" The soldier's plea was cut short. Bane grabbed the soldier's shoulder, his expression cold and unyielding.

Crack! 

Blood splattered as the soldier was crushed like a flimsy toy. Bane tossed the lifeless body aside with a sigh of exhaustion. He had slaughtered at least two thousand people. His initial energy had given way to fatigue. 

"Monster! Monster!" The remaining soldiers screamed in terror. Bane vanished in the blink of an eye. With his 90-ton strength, he could easily overturn any tank. His speed allowed him to snatch artillery shells out of the air. No one could stand against him. But as he was about to annihilate everyone, the military finally abandoned its last shred of restraint. 

As Bane threw aside another broken body, he saw missiles streaking through the sky like falling meteors, beautiful yet deadly. "Oh my God! Surely that monster will die now?" Mayor Carlo cried, his initial confidence shattered. He wiped cold sweat from his brow. 

Deploying missiles within the city was a drastic measure, but it was better than the National Guard being defeated and losing face. "Jim Gordon! Go and rally the remaining forces! Have them continue shelling the area! Conventional weapons are useless against this monster!" Mayor Carlo's voice shook with fear. 

Two thousand people. He had planned to capture Bane alive, sending in forces to surround the block. But so many had been killed, one by one, by Bane alone. What kind of monster was he? Bullets couldn't harm him, and he could catch shells with ease. There was no escape, no hope. He was relentless in his murderous rampage. 

"I know, sir. Should we contact Batman—" 

"Don't mention that name to me, Gordon! We can handle this! Just use the artillery—" The mayor's voice was a low, hysterical whisper. "We can take him down with shells!" 

Jim Gordon left, a sense of dread settling over him. Moments later, there was a knock at the door.

Knock, knock, knock!

"Who's there?" Mayor Carlo yanked the door open, ready to bark orders, but the words died in his throat. It wasn't Gordon who entered. The mayor stared in horror at the pale man with the twisted smile. 

"The Joker!"

"Guards! Guards!" 

Mayor Carlo screamed for help, but then he noticed the two bodies behind the Joker, their faces frozen in grotesque smiles. He turned and saw Scarecrow perched in the window, waving cheerily.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Mayor!"

......

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