Love at a discounted price

…Why the hell do I have to do the laundry?

It was the day after Shidou's conversation with Tohka and due to the extensive damage the school went under, it was closed. After Shidou had woken up from his injuries he'd been justly chastised for his recklessness by Kotori, who for some reason looked at him with sadness in her eyes. Before he got sent back home Kotori had ordered Shidou to do the laundry, and thus Shidou now stood inside the laundry room.

Kotori seemed really upset when I said no to her  request… I guess old Shidou was actually responsible. Argh! Why do I have to be the man of the house?! Stupid anime absentee parents…

Shidou sighed, unable to believe a universe where he was responsible existed. He searched his cabinets for laundry detergent, trying to get started on his so-called responsibilities.

And… we're out of detergent… great. Just great. I'll have to go to the store and buy more. Just one problem…

Shidou frantically searched his house, looking for something most people would never even think of losing. A object that is very important for the purposes of contributing to the economy.

 Where the hell is this guy's wallet?!

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Shidou eventually found his alternate self's wallet. He walked through the streets, looking up at the morning sun. It looked like a beautiful day, but that wasn't what was on Shidou's mind.

Still can't believe I'm in an anime…

Anime.

"...dou…"

Not just any anime though, because the universe just hates me for some reason.

"..hi…do…"

But a damn harem anime!

"Hey, Shidou…"

And now I have to romance like five girls who are all capable of killing me as easily as they breathe… Man, life just isn't fair! Why couldn't this anime have just been a standard highschool harem…

"Stop ignoring me!"

Who the fuck?

Shidou was cut out of his musings by a beautiful voice. Shidou looked around for the source of the voice and found the source. Dark hair, purple eyes that shined like crystals. There was no doubt to her identity, no matter how unlikely her presence here was. Before Shidou stood Tohka, the girl he had granted a name at her behest. 

"I said…" She said with barely concealed irritation. "Stop ignoring meeeee!"

Wasn't there supposed to be an alarm to signify her arrival? Plot armor perhaps? Fucking anime…

"SHIDOU!" She screamed at Shidou. She was fuming at this point.

"Oh hey Tohka." Shidou casually replied.

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How dare he ignore me!

"So you finally pay attention to me, stupid dummy!" Tohka said, crossing her arms. She jumped off the pile of debris her arrival here had produced and slowly approached the strange boy.

How rude! You're lucky I don't blast you full of holes for this disrespect!

"So what's up?" Shidou asked. "You need something from me?"

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I really gotta get this laundry done… who knows what Kotori will do to me if I don't.

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Tohka furrowed her brows.

Did he hit his head the last time we met? No. I forgot. He did. He said so himself. And it's the most likely reason as to why he accepts me… it was a foolish question. Now what was it that he invited me to…? I think he called it a date? Oh yes! That. Whatever that is.

"Isn't it obvious?" Tohka said, annoyed at Shidou's behavior. "You invited me to a date? Whatever that is."

"On a date." Shidou corrected, eyebrow raised. "And I'm surprised you even remembered."

What?! Is he insulting me again?!

"Are you calling me an idiot?!" Tohka shouted. 

"No no. Not at all." Shidou said in an attempt to calm her down. 

The nerve of this human…

"Humph! Whatever," Tohka said. "Let's do that date thing already!"

"Right now?!" Shidou asked incredulously. "I'm kinda busy right now…"

You were the one that invited me!

"Come on already." Tohka said, grabbing Shidou by the shoulder and dragging him away. "Date, date, date!"

"Ow fuck that hurts!" Shidou exclaimed. "Do you even know where you're going?!"

Of course I do, human! I'm looking for the date!

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"Why? What's wrong with my clothes?" Tohka asked Shidou, eyes narrowed. "Is there something wrong with my Astral Dress?"

Because you stand out… thank god I was able to get her to let me go before we showed up somewhere full of people…

"They're not human clothes. That's why." Shidou said, irritated he had to point out something so obvious. "They stand out too much. If you attract too much attention then those mech people will show up again."

And ruin any potential shopping trip.

"Fine," Tohka conceded. "What do you suggest I wear then? I can change my outfit into whatever I want." She said with a hint of pride.

"Just wear what I'm wearing." Shidou said dismissively. 

It's just my school uniform. Sure it's male, but it's 2024. Women can wear whatever they want. I don't exactly have any other outfit anyway.

"You're insulting me again!" Tohka shouted, glaring at Shidou. She raised her foot and attempted to kick Shidou in the shin. Fortunately though, Shidou was able to avoid it.

I don't want to know what would have happened if that had hit me… this bitch…

"I'm not insulting you!" Shidou shouted back. "I just thought you'd look cute in my outfit okay?!"

"Well…" Tohka said, looking away with a blush on her face. "You should have just said that from the beginning! You dummy!" She shouted.

*Punches wall mentally.* FUCKING WOMEN!

"Just change your clothes already..." Shidou pleaded. "And modify it so it fits you… you can do it since you're like magic right?"

I don't want an ecchi moment happening to me. God knows if I'd survive a punch from her… if one happens.

"Of course I can! Humph." Tohka said indignantly. She dutifully looked Shidou's outfit over, analyzing each and every detail.

I feel like I'm being scrutinized here…

"Okay, I think I got it." Tohka closed her eyes and snapped her fingers. Suddenly her Astral Dress transformed into particles of darkness, which eventually shifted into the form of a male school uniform. Though it was modified to fit her assets.

Nice.

"I think I recreated it well enough." Tohka said confidently. She gave a twirl, smiling with pride at her handiwork. She turned back towards Shidou and posed, hands on her hips. "What do you think?"

Shidou looked Tohka over from head to toe.

"Looking good!" Shidou exclaimed, holding two thumbs up. "Very cute." 

And tomboyish. I definitely made the right call here.

Tohka beamed. "Alright! Now we can go on our date!" Tohka paused in her excitement as she suddenly came to a realization. "That reminds me… what is a date anyway?"

You agreed to something without knowing what it was? That's pretty dumb. Then again. Given what I've seen of her so far… she certainly isn't the sharpest tool in the shed. Definitely this anime's resident airhead.

"Um… how do I put it?" Shidou mused. "A date is when two people hang out and have fun together."

In an attempt to foster a romantic relationship… Why… why did I omit that detail?

"That's it?" Tohka asked, tilting her head. "You just wanted to spend time with me and have fun?"

"Y-Yeah that's pretty much it." Shidou responded.

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I thought it was going to sort of be a big deal… Now I feel dumb… Muh…

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"Let's go then," Tohka said.

"Wait!" Shidou called out.

"Hm? What is it?" Tohka asked.

"Um… like, earlier before you showed up... I was heading somewhere to get something I need." Shidou said. "It's not the ideal place to spend time on a date… but I kinda need to get there." He silently pleaded.

"Oh." Tohka said blankly. "I apologize if I interrupted you. If it's a place you need to visit, then I suppose it's okay to stop there."

"Thank you, thank you!" Shidou said gratefully, grabbing her hands and causing her to blush slightly. "It'll only be for a bit! Then we'll be able to have our date properly."

Letting go of her hand, Shidou gestured for Tohka to follow him. He pulled out his phone to look at something and started leading Tohka deeper into the city.

"What's that thing in your hand?" Tohka asked, curious.

Oh. I guess it is her first time seeing a phone. What a boomer.

"Oh, this?" Shidou said, holding up his phone. "This is a phone. It's a tool can do a lot of things… too many to list now though. Right now I'm using it as a map."

"A map?" Tohka said, tilting her head slightly. "What's that?"

Oh boy… I gotta explain a lot to this girl.

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Thank god I was able to convince her to go to Japanese Walmart with me… now I can get the detergent to appease Kotori and go on a date to appease Tohka. Two birds with one stone. Truly, I am a genius. 

Shidou and Tohka eventually arrived at the front of the store. Both of them were stunned by one thing, though for entirely different reasons. Tohka because of negative experiences with humans, and Shidou because of his tendency to stay at home.

Sure are a lot of people here. 

"Where did all these people come from?!" Tohka shouted. "Is this an ambush?!"

Oh no.

Small black orbs of darkness appeared from Tohka's fingertip. Before she could fire them though, Shidou spoke up.

"Wait! Hold on!" Shidou shouted as he grabbed her wrist, stopping her from following through on her attack.

I just wanted to do the laundry man… I just wanted to do the laundry…

"These people are just minding their business like us!" Shidou shouted. "No one is going to attack you unless you provoke them! Now, I'd very much appreciate it if you didn't commit mass genocide!"

Tohka stopped to look around, noting how no one around them appeared to be hostile. Eventually she conceded and dispersed her attack. Shidou breathed out a sigh of relief as he let go of her wrist.

Why couldn't I have been taken to a normal anime world?

"Hey Shidou? What's that smell?" Tohka said, twitching her nose as a pleasant smell reached her.

Oh shit, I haven't showered since I got here, have I? Oh fuck.

"Smell?!" Shidou asked, attempting to conceal his panic. "What sme-" He stopped upon seeing a mysterious smoke in front of Tohka.

What the hell…? I can see the smell. Only in an anime world..

"Shidou?" Tohka tilted her head. 

Mad at being ignored again, she preemptively raised her foot to kick Shidou before her stomach growled. She froze. Shidou stared. Tohka blushed. 

You can get hungry?

Shidou looked towards the source of the smell. It was a display case for a bakery, showing various baked goods.

"You want one?" Shidou tentatively asked, reaching into his wallet and checking the amount of cash he had on hand.

I don't know how yen works… but surely this is enough for the detergent and a piece of bread.

"I'll get you one after I get what I need." Shidou said. "But for now we go to Walmart."

"...Very well." Tohka said, attempting to hide her excitement.

I'm not taking any chances. Who knows what the plot will throw at me to manufacture drama. I need to get the detergent before anything happens.

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"Shidou!" Tohka shouted, taking in her surroundings. "What is this place?! There's so many things here!" She shouted, her face full of genuine curiosity.

"It's called a Walmart, or a Seiyu." Shidou answered. "It's a place where people buy things they'll need in daily life."

Can't believe I need to explain what a department store is…

"Ooooooh," Tohka said, amazed. "Humans need so many things?! Hey, hey, Shidou, what's that?" She asked while pointing towards a display holding a certain red fruit.

"They're called strawberries." Shidou answered. "They're a type of fruit."

"What's a fruit?"

"A type of food."

"Food?"

"It's something you eat."

"I see!" Tohka said, seemingly understanding what Shidou tried to convey. She looked at the strawberries longingly. "Strawberries…"

She's looking at those containers like a Genshin Impact player looking at a playground, yearning to get their hands on what's inside.

"You want some?" Shidou said, walking over and picking up a pack of strawberries. "I'll get them for you, but you won't be able to get baked goods. As I won't have enough money for both."

I probably do? But I'm not taking any chances. I'll have to figure out how yen works later… Ugh, now I'm acting like a dad.

"Here," Shidou said, opening the pack and offering a strawberry to Tohka. "Try one."

I think this is okay? I mean I'm going to pay for it so it should be okay right?

Tohka eyed the strawberry with apprehension.

"It's not poisonous." Shidou reassured her, noticing Tohka's apprehension.

Tohka lightly blushed. She took the strawberry into her hand and promptly ate it. But not before letting out a humph.

"Wow!" Tohka shouted.

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Tohka's taste buds exploded with flavor.

Strawberries… are a wonderful thing!

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She clearly likes it.

Suddenly, Shidou's phone rang.

What the? Who could be calling me?

"Everything okay Shidou?" Tohka asked, savoring the aftertaste of the strawberry.

"Yeah, everything is fine." Shidou reassured Tohka. "I just got a phone call."

"A phone call?" Tohka tilted her head. "What's that?"

"Remember how I said that it can do a lot of different things?" Shidou asked, holding up his phone that stopped ringing.

Tohka nodded.

"This is sort of its main feature." Shidou said. "Two people with a phone can use them to communicate from long distances. The ringing you heard was someone asking to talk to me."

I hope she gets what I'm trying to say.

"Whoa…" Tohka looked at the phone in amazement. "So humans use these thingies to talk to each other? Amazing…"

"Yeah pretty much." Shidou said.

Suddenly, Shidou's phone rang again.

They must be someone I know.

"Oh, looks like that person really wants to talk to you." Tohka commented.

I'll have to take this.

"I'll have to take this." Shidou said, moving to a private area. "Just wait here until I'm done. You can have more strawberries."

"Okay!" Tohka nodded energetically, turning her gaze back towards the container of strawberries.

Oh yeah great! Alright… let's see who's calling me.

Shidou answered the call.

"New phone, who dis?" Shidou asked.

"What are you doing?" A familiar voice asked. Although the tone of their voice was monotonous, panic and concern could be easily heard behind it.

Origami? Ah… So this is what the plot is going to use to manufacture conflict.

"Oh hey. Just the Origami I was looking for." Shidou casually said.

How did she even get my phone number?

"What are you doing?" Origami repeated from behind him, hanging up the phone.

…!

"Ah! Molester!" Shidou said, startled.

"What. Are. You. Doing?" Origami repeated once more.

"You… recognized her?" Shidou asked tentatively.

"Yes." She answered.

"Did you tell your uh… little gang of spirit hunters?" Shidou asked.

"Not yet." She replied.

"Good, I'd prefer we keep it that way." Shidou said.

"You still haven't answered my question." Origami said, slowly beginning to approach Shidou. "What are you doing?" She once more repeated the question.

Oh man, she's pissed on the inside for sure.

"Exactly what it looks like." Shidou replied. "Shopping at Walmart with Tohka."

Sorry Origami. That Spiritussy got me acting… unwise.

She paused at that, staring at Shidou in disbelief, so he continued. "Look I get that you're pissed off because a Spirit killed your parents. But Tohka isn't like that, okay? She won't harm anyone unless she's provoked. And I'll prove it to you. So just sit back and watch from a distance. I'll show you just how 'dangerous' she is."

Probably won't change her opinion, but it's a start!

Origami was silent for a few seconds.

"Why?" Origami eventually asked. "Why are you doing this much for that thing?"

Huh, that's actually a good question. I want to say it's because the plot is forcing me to, but obviously I can't. I'll have to come up with something that'll not only satisfy her, but also set up a foundation for her to eventually let go of her whole hatred thing she has going on. Oh! I got it!

"She's kinda like you, Origami." Shidou said, inhaling sharply. "She doesn't have anyone to rely on. No one to comfort her. No one to show her any semblance of kindness during difficult times. Like you when you lost your parents. Though, there is one slight difference."

Wow Shidou, manipulating her by pandering to her emotions regarding her parents. You're really speedrunning being a bastard. 

"It's you." Origami said, her voice tainted with a tinge of sorrow. "The difference between me and Princess is that I had you."

She sniffled lightly. If she were more expressive, one would say she was on the verge of bursting into tears.

"All this time I've had you." Origami said. "Even if you weren't by my side for the majority of it…Because of you, I've found a reason to live beyond just my mission."

No… not me. You're referring to someone else…

"That's right." Shidou said, hiding his inner turmoil. "And I'll save her just as I saved you."

Is this scummy? Yes. But the alternative is her going down a path of destruction. And if I have to lie to her to make sure she's fine, then I'll gladly do become a manipulative bastard. It's not as if I was worth much to begin with.

"But in order to do that, I need your trust." Shidou said. "I know you're concerned for me, but I promise you I'll be fine. I assure you Princess won't hurt me. Please, can you trust me?"

Origami lightly laughed, causing Shidou to do a double take. 

Why is she laughing? Hell, I never thought you could laugh.

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Shidou… how can I give you something you already have?

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"What's got you giggling?" Shidou asked.

"It's… nothing." Origami replied, her laughing subsiding. "I trust you."

Good…

"Alright, thank you." Shidou said. "Now just sit back and watch how a pro handles this."

Origami looked at him quizzically, but didn't comment.

He separated himself from Origami and moved back towards the produce aisle, only to stop in his tracks.

Where the fuck did she go?

Shidou quickly noted the lack of a Tohka, but more so than that, the lack of strawberries. The only thing that laid in Tohka's place were empty plastic containers and a very confused employee.

"You lost her." Origami stated, revealing that she was still behind Shidou.

Slightly startled, Shidou turned around. "I thought you agreed to stay back and watch from a distance!?" He shouted in a hushed tone.

Origami simply replied by raising her hand and pointing towards the spot Tohka had previously occupied. 

"That agreement applies only when Princess is around." She said, monotonously. "Until you find it, I'll be by your side protecting you."

"Protecting me?" Shidou asked incredulously. "From what? We're in a Walmart. What do I need protecting from?"

"Danger." Origami replied succinctly.

"Hah?" Shidou exclaimed?

Maybe if this was an American Walmart… then I could see the danger.

"In any case, I feel finding Princess should be our priority." Origami said.

Yeah, I agree.

"Let's ask that employee over there. They probably know something." Shidou suggested, gesturing in the employee's direction.

Origami nodded, both of them now fully agreeing to question the employee about Tohka's whereabouts. As they slowly approached the employee, Shidou noted her appearance. The employee was a girl, possibly around Shidou's age, with messy white hair that was crudely tied up in a ponytail. She stared at the empty plastic containers that once housed strawberries in what could only be considered confusion.

"Was she even human…?" Shidou heard the employee mumble.

"Hey, excuse me." Shidou said, grabbing the employee's attention. "Can I speak with you for a moment?"

The employee turned around, seemingly appraising Shidou and Origami before putting on her best customer service smile and opening up her minimum wage mouth.

"You don't have to ask to speak." She said, "I will always listen."

Damn… I gotta use that line sometime in the future.

"Um… well you wouldn't happen to know where the girl who ate all those strawberries went?" Shidou asked sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

"Oh, so you know her?" She said, eyes widening briefly. She looked him over. "You must be Shidou then?"

How does she?

Not waiting for Shidou to confirm, she continued. "The girl kept saying that 'Shidou gave me permission' when I asked her what she was doing." She turned to look back at the plastic containers that once contained strawberries. "I tried to stop her… but the way she glared at me made me fear for my life. Frankly, I'm debating whether or not she was even human." She shuddered.

So it's my fault… fuck. How much is this all going to cost…? 

"You made the correct choice in staying back." Origami reassured her.

Not now!

"Where did she go?" Shidou asked, attempting to conceal his panic about the possibility of Tohka eating everything in the store.

"Hm?" She inquired, seemingly registering what Shidou had just asked. "Oh, she went that way." She raised her arm and pointed further down into the food section.

Oh… no… I gotta stop her! She's gonna bankrupt me!

"Okay! Thank you!" Shidou said hurriedly as he grabbed Origami's wrist, causing her to lightly blush. "Come on, let's go!" He beckoned.

Shidou made to go in the direction the employee had pointed them to, only to be abruptly stopped by a hand being placed on his shoulder. Quickly turning around he was met with the employee, who looked at him with an eerie smile.

"Since you so graciously gave her permission to eat all these strawberries, wouldn't you be so kind as to… pay for her meal?" She blinked a couple times for added effect. "It's the gentlemanly thing to do after all." She looked at him slyly.

Well shit.

Shidou gulped. "How much…?" He asked reluctantly.

"Well, let's see…" She pressed a finger to her face as she feigned pondering. She most likely knew the answer and was simply pretending in order to further Shidou's torment. "Adding them all together the price would total out to about 14960 yen give or take."

In this situation? That's a take…

Shidou pulled out his wallet, opening it to see the amount of cash he had. He counted 7509 yen.

Yeah… I'm not getting that detergent…

"I'll pay for it." Origami interjected, likely catching on to Shidou's mental dilemma. She pulled out her own wallet and gave the employee the requested amount, surprising Shidou.

Oh thank god…

"Quite a catch? Isn't she?" The employee said, looking between Shidou and Origami slyly. She pocketed the money before continuing. "Alright, you can go now. This should cover it." She waved her hand to shoo them, turning around to deal with the empty plastic containers.

What's with this girl? Well whatever… let's go.

Shidou grabbed Origami's wrist again and resumed moving in the direction the employee had previously directed them towards. As they walked Shidou whispered to Origami.

"Thanks for that. You really saved my ass."

"It's not a big deal." She replied, monotonously.

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Now Shidou will feel indebted to me.

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Where the hell is she…?

Shidou and Origami had been walking aimlessly in the direction they'd been pointed towards for around twenty minutes. During that span of time, they hadn't encountered a single trace of the illusive Spirit.

Shidou stopped walking abruptly, turning his head around to face Origami.

"Yeah, this isn't going to work." Shidou said bluntly. "We have to come up with a different approach. Otherwise we'll never find her."

Of course I have to be the one to break this… as if she's inclined to find Tohka. 

Origami stared at Shidou blankly, seemingly in deep thought. Eventually, she slowly turned around and crouched near the floor.

What.

"Get on." Origami monotoned.

"What?" Shidou asked, confused.

"I'll carry you on my back." Origami said, monotonously. "You'll be able to spot Princess if you view the store aisles from above."

"Yes I get that…" Shidou said, understanding that looking at the store aisles from above would give him a higher chance of potentially spotting Tohka. "But why do I have to ride on your back? Shouldn't it be the other way around?"

Aren't I the man here? What would Andrew Tate say?

"..." Origami didn't respond.

You never thought of an explanation?!

"...Carrying another person for an extended period of time shouldn't be an issue for me due to my training." Origami said, still crouching down. "If I carry you, you'll be able to conserve your strength for your encounter with Princess."

While that does sound reasonable, why do I feel like you're just taking advantage of the situation?

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Origami was definitely taking advantage of the situation.

Why hasn't he gotten on?

"Get on." Origami repeated.

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Well… Andrew Tate did always preach men taking initiative. I don't think this is what he meant though.

"Fine…" Shidou relented.

He reluctantly made his way over to Origami and positioned carefully himself on her back. Surprisingly, Origami was able to easily get up with Shidou on her back. It wasn't something you'd expect a girl without very noticeable muscles like her to be able to do.

"Okay… now where is she…" Shidou said as he steadied himself utop Origami and began surveying the store, looking for any signs of Princess.

"I'll start moving. Keep your eyes peeled." Origami said as she slowly began walking. "...Also, close your legs harder so you don't fall."

Uh, sure?

Shidou closed his legs, tightening their hold on Origami's torso. The chances of him falling were brought down to 36% thanks to this action.

"Hold me tighter." Origami said, monotonously but demanding somehow.

Um…

"I'm not sure if…" 

"Tighter." Origami reiterated.

"Okay!" Shidou conceded.

Shidou closed his legs further, tightening their hold around Origami's torso. The chances of him falling were brought down to 13% thanks to this action.

"Good." Origami said simply.

*Sniff* *Sniff* I'm such a whore…

Shidou attempted to steady himself by placing one hand on Origami's shoulder. He placed his other hand above his face to block out the light hitting his eyes.

Alright… now I can start looking.

Origami didn't move.

Um… why isn't she moving.

"What's wrong?" Shidou asked, confused.

"Wrap your arms around me." Origami said, monotonously. "You're still at risk of falling."

Oh for fucks sake!

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Shidou and Origami had been walking aimlessly around for fifteen minutes, with Origami carrying Shidou on her back to get a better view of the store. Despite this fact, they'd been unable to spot Tohka.

"So how am I supposed to look for Tohka if I can't even see above the aisles?" Shidou asked.

"..." 

You… you don't have an answer, do you?

Shidou had done as Origami had asked of him. He'd hugged her so tightly that his face was practically pressed against hers. It was as if Shidou was trying to fuse with Origami.

"We'll never find her…" Shidou said, sighing in defeat.

Just then, through an aisle, Shidou caught a glimpse of his outfit.

"Stop." Shidou stated. "Let me down."

Origami complied with his request, allowing Shidou to dismount her.

"I found her." Shidou said. 

Origami's body stiffened at the statement. "You found her?" She asked, her blank demeanor being useless in hiding her worry.

"Yes." Shidou responded.

Shidou looked up to see which aisle he would find his target at. The sign hanging above the aisle in question read: laundry.

Looks like I'll be able to get that detergent after all!

"Alright, stay back and watch." Shidou said, beginning to make his way towards the aisle. "I'll prove to you that the only threat she poses is a financial one."

Shidou was abruptly stopped by Origami placing her hand on his shoulder. He turned around to meet her blank stare, filled with worry but blank nonetheless.

"Please be careful." She said, though her facial features remained otherwise the same as they usually were, it was blatantly obvious that she was deeply concerned about Shidou's safety despite choosing to trust him.

Shidou simply scoffed at her plea.

"What do you think I am?"

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Human.

That was the only word she could use to describe all the wonderful things she had seen in the place Shidou had taken her to. The Welmar, as he called it, was full of many wonderful items, and they were all invented by humans.

Amazing… and they're all common items. At least, I think Shidou said they were? Muh…

And they were all created by humans. This fact stood out to Tohka, who assumed that humans only created weapons to eliminate her from the mortal plane. The stawberrys, as Shidou had informed her, were the most amazing things she'd ever put in her mouth. Even more so than the very air she breathed.

Humans get to experience such a wonderful sensation? No, nevermind that. They were able to create such a wonderful sensation? That must be why that dirty human tried to stop me. They wanted the stawberrys all to themselves!

The strange rectangular portals, which showed glimpses of environments Tohka had never seen before. The crunchy air filled bags, of what their use was was unknown to Tohka, though she surmised that they were some sort of cushion. The clothing jungle, where human clothes hung from metal trees. Tohka was more surprised by the variety of clothing than the fact that they grew on metal trees. These were just a small part of the plethora of strange and amazing human items she'd come across during her tenure in the Walmer.

And it's all because of him…

To say that the mecha mecha squad hated her would not only be stating the obvious, but also be a huge understatement. The AST were the only humans she'd ever encounter, so her impression of humanity was that they all wanted her dead. But apparently that wasn't the case. The dirty girl who tried to protect her from eating the stawberrys for one. She never outwardly displayed aggression. Then there was Shidou, the crazy human who declared he'd never reject her. Her! Her! She, who is hated by all! Rejected by all! Would he accept such a person? To believe such a claim would be absurd, but Tohka found herself unable to dismiss it. After all, if Shidou was like every other human he certainly wouldn't be showing her all these amazing things.

Uh…

Tohka looked around aimlessly, noting the lack of a Shidou. She'd been so engrossed in looking at all of the interesting items that she'd forgotten she was supposed to wait for him during his…

What was it again…? A fone call?

She'd wandered around for a while, ending up in an aisle with strange multicolored containers. She didn't know where Shidou was. And that was very bad, they were supposed to be on a date after all.

Where is Shidou?!

"Tohka." A voice called out to her.

"Eek!"

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Well… I'd laugh but I'd probably get killed if I did.

Suddenly hearing Shidou's voice startled Tohka, causing to let out a loud shriek and stumble backwards. She fell down backwards, hitting the aisle behind her and bringing the entire thing down on her. Naturally, the aisle's contents also came down upon her. She laid there, covered in laundry detergent bottles stunned by what had just happened. Some bottles had opened during the fall, spraying their contents all over Tohka and the floor.

"Muh…" She uttered.

"Um… I'm sorry." Shidou apologized nervously. "Are you okay?" He bent down and held out his hand towards her downed form. Tohka blushed. Tentatively, she reached out her hand and grasped Shidou's.

Ew… sticky.

Shidou hoisted Tohka up, assessing her condition. She had no visible injuries, but parts of her clothes, hair, and lower body were stained in laundry detergent. Though it didn't outright ruin her beauty, it certainly wasn't doing it any favors. 

"Blegh!" Tohka coughed out, likely spitting out some detergent that landed in her mouth. "Ew! What's this sticky stuff on me?! It tastes terrible! Blah!" She whined.

That's what she said.

"It's laundry detergent." Shidou answered. "We use it to clean clothes…. And it's also what I came here for."

Tentatively, carefully, Shidou picked up a bottle of detergent that had somehow managed to survived the disaster.

I'm just gonna… take this.

"Well," Shidou said, "At least your clothes are clean now, huh?" He quipped.

Tohka glared at Shidou.

"You're magic, aren't you?" Shidou asked. "Just change your clothes again, and boom! They're clean!"

"Ah!" Tohka's eyes lit up. "You're right!"

She raised her hand up in the air as darkness particles surrounded her body once again. When they went away they revealed the outfit she had copied from Shidou, now in pristine condition. Though her hair was still stained with laundry detergent.

Okay slightly better. Wait, hold on a minute… she wrecked the entire laundry aisle so… 

"Sorry about your hair and shit." Shidou said abruptly, storming over to Tohka and grabbing her wrist. "But we gotta go before that employee shows up again!" He began dragging her off towards the checkout center.

"What? Why?" Tohka asked.

"Because your fall destroyed a bunch of shit!" Shidou replied.

"Oh."

'Oh' Indeed.

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"I'll just be taking this." Shidou said as he placed the single detergent bottle on the conveyor belt.

"Okay." The male employee replied, taking the bottle in his hands and ringing it up. "That'll be 753.65 Yen."

"Aight." Shidou replied, pulling out his wallet and handing the employee the money.

"Um…" The employee started, having glanced at Tohka and noticed her disheveled state. "Are you okay Miss?"

"She's fine." Shidou answered for Tohka.

"What's that stuff in your hair?" The employee asked, ignoring Shidou and once again addressing Tohka with concern etched on his face.

Oh for fucks sake!

"It's cum!" Shidou shouted impatiently, snatching the detergent, grabbing Tohka's wrist, and storming out of the store.

"Um… Shidou?" Tohka started, a slight blush on her face. "What's cu-"

"Not now!" Shidou shouted.

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"Shidou! Shidou!" Tohka shouted to get Shidou's attention. "What's this place!?" She said, pointing to a rather high end looking restaurant.

"A restaurant." Shidou replied. "It's a place where professional food makers make special food for people who want special food to feel special."

I think I explained the concept of a restaurant pretty well?

"Oh wow…" Tohka looked on in amazement, mouth slightly watering. "I want to feel special too! Let me investigate!"

Woah what?! She's gonna eat me out of house and home!

"Wait hold o-"

"Well, if it isn't Itsuka." A familiar voice called out to Shidou.

No way…

Shidou swiftly turned around, and was met with…

Tonomachi?

Tonomachi raised his hand to wave at Shidou, but abruptly stopped after his eyes set on Tohka. He immediately ran up to Shidou and wrapped his arm around Shidou's head, a smug expression on his face.

"Well, what's going on here?" Tonomachi said, pulling Shidou close. "First the super genius and now this charming…" Tonomachi sniffed the air near Tohka. "Lovely smelling young lady. Now, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were turning into a cassanova."

The worst part is that I can't deny it…

"Well… some things happened and-"

Shidou was cut off by the sound of a door slamming shut. Tohka had gone inside the restaurant, completely ignoring Shidou and Tonomachi's conversation.

"She's quite a needy girl." Tonomachi said.

You don't say…

"Well, my girlfriend isn't very different herself." Tonomachi said, pulling out his phone and showing Shidou the dating sim with his 'girlfriend' on it.

You paid for in-game items?

"My friend needs help." Tonomachi said, a slight edge to his voice. He pulled out two strips of paper and proceeded to hand them to Shidou. "A stranger just so happened to pass these to me, so let them be my help to you!"

Coupons… Wow. That's convenient.

"Good luck! Have a good day!" Tonomachi said as he walked away.

Wow… what a bro.

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Yeah. This place looks way too white.

Shidou surveyed the surroundings of the restaurant, looking around for wherever Tohka may have gone. For the most part, he was correct. The restaurant was indeed too white.

"Welcome."  A monotonous voice grabbed Shidou's attention.

"I didn't know you had a part time job." Shidou replied, immediately noting who had called out to him. 

"I don't." Reine responded, monotonously. "We're aware that Princess somehow managed to slip under the radar and entered this world."

How? Not even the AST could do that. And that's their job.

"She's over there." Reine said as she pointed towards the distance.

Shidou turned to look in the direction he'd been pointed towards and was met with the sight of Tohka excitedly waving at him.

"Hurry up already Shidou! Over here! Over here!" She shouted across the restaurant.

Ugh fine…

Shidou turned back to look at Reine.

"You guys better be paying for this."

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Shidou took a seat across from Tohka. While Tohka busied herself with looking out the window, Shidou busied himself with looking around the restaurant. One thing that stood out to him in particular, was the fact that every other occupant was staring at them.

They must all be in on this but still. Creepy… 

"Have you two decided what to order yet?" A voice caught Shidou and Tohka's attention.

Kotori?!

The waitress was none other than Kotori Itsuka, but Shidou wisely decided not to say anything about it. She handed Shidou and Tohka a menu each, with Tohka eagerly looking through hers.

Can she even read thi- oh it has pictures.

"This looks good, but so does this one." Tohka said pensively, eyes scanning the menu.

"If you've yet to decide. Might I suggest you try our special overkill course?" Kotori asked.

Overkill?

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A myriad of food was placed onto Shidou and Tohka's table. From an elaborate cake, to pasta, to roast chicken, and even steak dinners.

Let me guess… She's going to eat all of it?

Tohka swallowed a plate of spaghetti in one bite, and soon afterwards followed it up by scarfing down an entire steak. One by one, each dish was slowly devoured by the Spirit.

Looks like I've found the resident glutton. She makes Nikocado look like he eats in moderation.

"By the way, I've been meaning to ask…" Kotori whispered to Shidou, taking advantage of the fact that Tohka was currently distracted in doing her CaseOh impression. "Why is Princess's hair covered in laundry detergent?"

Hm?

"You mean you don't know?" Shidou asked, incredulously. "I thought you guys were watching us this entire time."

"We were… for the most part." Kotori said. "But only after you'd both left that Seiyu did we notice that Princess was here. Anything that happened before that is something only you're privy to."

Isn't that pretty dumb? Aren't I like the only reason this operation is even going on? Who would leave their most precious asset unattended?

"Anyway. Care to explain?" Kotori said, gesturing to Tohka.

For the most part, Tohka had rid her skin of laundry detergent when she'd transformed her clothes. Her hair though, was an entirely different story. It was covered in laundry detergent near the ends, which caused it to clump together unpleasantly. It had been dried up for a while, leaving it looking like it was covered in dandruff or some other white powder.

"She fell." Shidou said acerbically.

Kotori looked at him quizzically. "That's it?" She asked.

"Pretty much." Shidou replied succinctly.

"Hmm. I'll take your word for it." Kotori said. "Though, am I curious as to why you thought a department store was a good place to take a girl on a date? It's not exactly a very romantic place, is it? Honestly, how do you expect to win over her heart like that?" She chided.

"Because you ordered me to do the laundry this morning." Shidou said, holding up the bottle of detergent he'd purchased earlier. "But we ran out of this, so I had to go and buy it. Tohka just happened to show up on my way to Walmart."

"Hah?" Kotori said, incredulously. "But why did you insist on buying it even after Princess's appearance? I would have forgiven you for not doing the laundry given the current circumstances. You had a suitable cause to not do it. Two in fact."

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You side lined your mission to buy laundry detergent? What has the blow done to you Onii-chan? Why were you trying so hard to follow my orders? Don't tell me it's because…!

Kotori's face became beet red. Not that Shidou would notice. His gaze was fully locked on Princess, watching her as she devoured an inhuman amount of food.

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"Eh, I wasn't going to take any chances." Shidou brushed Kotori off. "Besides, your view of what is considered 'romantic' or not is irrelevant here."

"Huh? What do you mean?" Kotori asked, confused.

"It's blatantly obvious by this point that Tohka is completely ignorant when it comes to things here." Shidou answered. "I mean she almost attacked a crowd when rush hour started because she'd never seen so many people in one place before." 

Kotori looked taken aback by this news.

"Luckily I was able to stop her though." Shidou said, turning to look at Kotori directly. "Look. She didn't even know what a date was when she first showed up here, and you expect her to know what classifies as romantic? I could take her to a 7/11 and she'd be enthralled. Really, it makes no difference." He dismissively waved his hand.

Kotori sighed. "You're hopeless."

"This is my date." Shidou said resolutely. "I can do whatever the hell I want with it. Now if you don't mind, she's running low on food so be a dear and fetch some more for her." He gestured towards Tohka, who had made her way through a majority of the food over the course of their hushed conversation.

Kotori's eye twitched in mild irritation before she left to comply with Shidou's request.

Is this what it's like to have siblings? I gotta say, I'm enjoying the experience. Though, since this is an anime the possibility of her also being a harem member is still up in the air. Hmm. Perhaps I can test something.

"Hey Tohka." Shidou called out, grabbing Tohka's attention. "That waitress was pretty cute, huh?" He asked loud enough for everyone in his vicinity to hear.

Turning his head to look back at Kotori's retreating form, Shidou immediately noticed the fact that she had stopped walking. He also noted that her skin had become beet red.

Normally if someone's skin instantaneously became red, you'd take them to the hospital. But this is an anime world so this is normal here. Well, that confirms that.

"Hm? Ah waitrussh?" Tohka asked, food still in her mouth. "Whash thaht?"

Shidou sighed.

I'm courting an infant.

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Awawawawawawawawawawawa! Onii-chan! Not in front of everyone!

Kotori ran away to recuperat, leaving the task of procuring more food for Princess to the rest of Ratatoskr.

Don't think I'll forgive you because of this!

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Shidou and Tohka walked down the street after they'd left the restaurant. When they happened to cross a corner, they were bombarded by loud popping sounds and showered in colorful confetti. Tohka's body stiffened at the sound and she readied herself for hostilities. Luckily though, Shidou put his arm around her shoulder and calmed her down.  

Awawawawawawawawa… Sh- Sh- Shidou?!

Tohka felt her insides fill with fire at the action.

What is this feeling?! Are dates supposed to feel this way? Or is it just me?

"Congratulations!" A man holding a microphone exclaimed. "You two are our 100000 visitors!" As such, we'll offer you a special service: all-you-can-eat food, all for free."

All you can eat…? Food…? Awah…

"Wow, Tohka. Looks like we won a totally-not-rigged-in-our-favour prize." Shidou said, oblivious to his effect on her. "Isn't that great?"

"Yeah…" Tohka said dazedly.

The man swept his arm over the crowded street filled with food stands. Seeing all the various foods around her, Tohka decided to put her thoughts on how Shidou made her feel on the back burner and focus on eating all of the delicious looking food.

"Delicious!" She said as she scarfed down a bowl of noodles.

"Mmmmm! Yummy!" She said as she ate an entire sushi roll in one bite.

"Damn, you're like starvin Marvin over here." Shidou commented.

"Mmm?" Tohka asked, food still in her mouth. She swallowed it. "Who?"

"Nevermind." Shidou said.

Tohka put on a pensive expression.

I've been eating all this wonderful food… but Shidou has yet to try anything… Am I the only one enjoying themselves?

"Um… Shidou?" Tohka grabbed his attention. "I've been having a blast so far, but you don't seem to be having such a great time... Why haven't you tried any of this wonderful food?"

"Because you never really gave me a chance to…?" Shidou replied, gesturing to all the empty plates around her.

Oh.

"Ah. Well… You should have just said so!" Tohka exclaimed, grabbing a crepe and shoving it in Shidou's face. "It's not fair if I'm the only one enjoying themselves! Here! Eat! Eat!"

"Okay, okay, sheesh." Shidou said, taking a bite out of the crepe. "Oh damn, that's good."

"It is? Isn't it?" Tohka beamed, immediately taking the crepe back from Shidou and eating it all. "Mmmmm."

"…" Shidou gave her a blank stare. "This is my 14th reason why."

"Ah." Tohka said, blushing profusely in embarrassment. "I'm sorry!"

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"What the fuck." Shidou said, though Tohka didn't know what had gotten such a reaction out of him.

They had both participated in what Shidou called a raffle, which he'd stated was 'totally not rigged' and won tickets to a place called Dream Park. Once they'd finally arrived at the building, Shidou made his displeasure known, though Tohka wasn't sure why Shidou was so bothered.

It looks like a wonderful place. So why?

"Let's go." Tohka said as she moved towards the building. Only to be held back by Shidou grabbing her shoulder. "Huh? What's wrong?" 

"You don't know what this place is, do you?" Shidou said.

"No," Tohka admitted, looking at the building. "Is it a bad place?"

"It's a love hotel." He said. "It's a place where people… expose themselves to each other."

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Can't exactly explain what sex is to someone who's never heard of it.

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Tohka stared at Shidou blankly, before her body promptly overheated.

E-Expose?! Like their bodies?! I have to get naked?! No nevermind that! Is Shidou going to see me naked?!

Her mind crumbled with the weight of these thoughts. Sure she liked Shidou. He was nice and friendly, on top of not trying to kill her. But did that mean she'd have to show herself to him? Surely not… right? 

But wait… Shidou will also be naked… ah… I will… see Shidou… naked too…

"Hey! HEY!" Shidou shouted, snapping Tohka out of her thoughts. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to. I'm just telling you what this place is for. We don't have to go in if you don't want to."

"Thank you…" Tohka looked at Shidou with gratitude. "Okay! Where are we going next!"

"You'll see." Shidou said, holding out his hand to Tohka. "It's much cooler than this shit hole."

Tohka took his hand, and together they began to walk towards their next destination.

Kind indeed…

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WHAT THE FUCK! THEY KNEW! SHE KNEW! EVERYONE FUCKING KNEW! THEY KNEW SHE WAS NAIVE AND INNOCENT! AND THEY STILL WENT AHEAD WITH IT?! 

Shidou silently fumed, but hid it from his date.

They tried to get me to rape her. They directed us here with the intention of us having sex. Me, with Tohka, who's as mature as a child. They wanted me to take advantage of her naivety and have sex with her. Those bastards! I'm not following their damn route if this is how they run things.

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"What's this place Shidou?" Tohka asked, eyes wide as she stared at the LED sign. "So bright…"

"It's called a 7/11. It's a corner store." Shidou said.

"What's a corner store?" Tohka asked.

"It's a small shop that sells things people often need. Hence the name." Shidou said. "If you need something, it's just a corner away."

"Woah." Tohka said, amazed. "Let's go inside then!"

"Yes, let's." Shidou said.

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"Shidou! Shidou! Why is this bucket so cold?" Tohka asked, holding up a tub of ice cream.

"Hm?" Shidou said. "Oh, that's ice cream. It's a type of dessert that's usually eaten cold. It's meant to be cold."

"What's dessert?" Tohka asked.

"Something sweet that you eat after a meal." Shidou said.

"Mmm I don't really get it. Food is food isn't it? Why would order matter?" Tohka asked, confused. "Oh, nevermind that! You said this was food! So I can eat it right?"

Tohka looked at him with pleading eyes.

Eh. I have enough money. And I don't feel like talking to those bastards right now.

"Go ahead." Shidou said.

"Yay!" Tohka exclaimed, ripping open the tub of ice cream and eating the entire thing in one bite.

That's a terrible idea.

"Ah! My head!" Tohka cried out.

Told you.

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"Shidou! Shidou! What's this thingy do?" Tohka asked, pointing at a soda fountain.

"It dispenses soda if you press that lever at the bottom." Shidou answered.

"What's soda?" Tohka asked.

"A sweet tasting beverage." Shidou replied.

"Ooooooh sweet…" Tohka mumbled, mouth watering. "Gimmie! Gimmie!"

She's like a fussy child…

Shidou filled up a cup with soda before handing it to Tohka. "Here." 

"Yay!" Tohka exclaimed, taking the cup away from Shidou and making the mistake of attempting to drink the entire cup in one fell swoop.

"Blah!"

Oh my God… was the detergent not enough?

Tohka had learned the hard way that God never intended for soda to be chugged. Just as soon as she started, she promptly spat out the soda she'd drunk in Shidou's face. Luckily for Shidou's pride though, Tohka didn't get out unscathed herself. In her panic she'd ended up spilling the remainder of the cup all over her clothes, once again dirtying them.

"Wow, you sure do like spilling inconveniently sticky liquids." Shidou quipped. "Your magic clothes wouldn't happen to work on me, would they?"

Tohka numbly shook her head, blushing profusely.

"Let's just continue with our tour…" Shidou said, resignation in his voice.

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Shidou and Tohka were still at the soda fountain.

"Um… I'm sorry…" Tohka said, poking both index fingers together.

"It's fine." Shidou reassured her. "Happens to the best of us."

Even I'll admit I still can't handle the fizziness of soda… can't imagine how it felt to someone who'd never tried it before.

"So… um… why was it… so crunchy?" Tohka whispered.

Crunchy? I guess the word fizzy isn't in her vocabulary.

"It was a carbonated drink." Shidou replied. "They're fizzy because they taste better like that."

"Carbonated?" Tohka asked meekly.

"They put gas in the drink. That's why it's like that." Shidou replied, hoping his explanation was sufficient.

Tohka nodded her head, seemingly understanding what Shidou had said. "Sorry again…"

"It's fine." Shidou said, half exasperated. "Just don't drink it so fast next time. Drink it slowly, and in small amounts."

"Okay…" Tohka said meekly, grabbing the cup and drinking what little soda remained inside of it. "Mmmmm. Sweet."

"Indeed it is." Shidou lightly chuckled at Tohka's antics, only to remember that his shirt was all sticky and gross. "Ew... Guess we match now?"

Tohka laughed. It was an incredibly brief laugh, but she laughed nonetheless.

Let's just move on. I doubt there's much else to explain to her.

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"Shidou! Shidou! What's this?" Tohka asked.

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"Shidou! Shidou! Why are these metal cylinders locked up?" Tohka asked.

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"Shidou! Shidou! Why are these things spinning?" Tohka asked.

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"Shidou! Shidou! What are these crunchy air bags for?" Tohka asked.

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"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

"Shidou! Shidou!"

The questions came, one after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, and after another.

And yet Shidou answered them all.

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Hah… I'm pooped. Who knew going to 7/11 could be so exhausting…

"Shidou! Shidou!" Tohka called out to him, holding a cup of instant noodles to his face.

"You put hot water in it and you instantly have noodles." Shidou answered succinctly.

"Shi-"

"That's a Twinkie"

"And th-"

"Instant curry."

"What abo-"

"Dried squid." Shidou replied tiredly.

I'm on fire today.

Tohka appeared to look mildly guilty at how many questions she'd bombarded Shidou with, nervously scratching the back of her head.

"Sorry if I'm being irritating… I've just never seen these things before… they're all so new." Tohka said.

No. No. I get it. Put a guy from the 1800s in here and you'd probably get the same response.

"It's fine." Shidou said dismissively, yawning. "I'm more than happy to show you the wonders of human consumerism."

"What's consumerism?" Tohka asked, tilting her head.

"I'm gonna be honest with you… I don't know." Shidou admitted. "...But if you pretend that I do, suddenly I sound really smart."

"Really?" Tohka asked.

"Hahahahahaha, no." Shidou replied.

I'm dumb as fuck! I resigned myself to this fate after all.

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Shidou tiredly strolled out of the 7/11 with Tohka in tow.

Well, I'm broke as shit! But hey! At least she's happy! Who would have thought the cure to edginess was retail products?

Together they walked through the empty streets, hands held, not uttering a word to each other. They simply enjoyed basking in each other's presence. Eventually, they had both reached a park that overlooked the city.

"It's so pretty!" Tohka broke the silence, running over to a rail and leaning on it to take in the view. "I can't believe humans were able to build something so beautiful..."

It's honestly… really fucking depressing that I don't really share the same sentiment. And the fact that I'm not alone in this makes it even more depressing.

"It sure is." Shidou said, trying to darndest to seem genuine.

"It's so… peaceful… the human world." Tohka said. "And filled with so many wonderful things."

"It sure is." Shidou said, trying to darndest to seem genuine.

"Now I can understand why the mecha mecha squad hates me so much." Tohka said, turning her eyes toward the scenery once more. "By being here… I will destroy all of this."

Where are you going with this?

"Maybe… it really would be better if I weren't here." Tohka said.

"Your opinion." Shidou said.

"What." Tohka said.

"You heard me." Shidou said, pointing a finger at Tohka. "Your opinion. You're kinda dumb so I'll explain it to you: That's just what you think."

"It… it is…" Tohka said, eyes downcast. "If I stay here, I'll just destroy everything… all the wonderful things I saw… they deserve to exist."

"So our life is worth less than trash we use in everyday life?" Shidou asked.

"Um… uh…" Tohka trailed off.

"As a great man once said: 'facts don't care about your feelings'. So let's say hypothetically, you showed up and you didn't blow shit up like a white girl at Coachella. Then, wouldn't it be reasonable to assume that your continued existence would be justified?"

"Um… yes?" Tohka hesitantly replied.

"Oh really?" Shidou asked knowingly. "Well you're in luck then! Because that wasn't a hypothetical scenario! It's what happened today!"

Tohka's eyes widened.

"Apart from your hair and my shirt. And an entire aisle… You didn't destroy shit!" Shidou exclaimed. "So it's okay. This world will accept you."

"Shidou is… the only one who will accept me…" Tohka said on the verge of tears. "Besides… even if I didn't cause a spacequake today… if I return I might not be able to control what happens."

Damn that's a triiicky problem.. if only there was a solu-

"Then just stay here." Shidou deadpanned. "Your home world probably sucks ass anyway. Bet it doesn't even have WiFi."

"Ah but… I don't know anything." Tohka reasoned. "So even if I wanted to stay here…"

This statement only served to cause Shidou to start moving towards her.

"That's fine." He said, taking slow calculating steps. "You're kinda stupid, so I'll help you study. You don't have a home, so you can live with me. If you get hungry, well then I'll feed you. A lot of people resent you, so I'll stick up for you. If you end up crying, I'll comfort you. If you ever become a bad person, I'll hate you. If you ever happen to get attacked, I'll defend you."

He finally reached Tohka. There he stood, mere inches away from her.

"And if you do bad things, I'll castrate you." Shidou said.

Tohka's resolve began to crack, her eyes widening.

Was it castrate? ...Or chastise? Eh whatever she probably doesn't know the meaning of either.

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"Since you seem to care about what other people think…" Shidou trailed off. "Close your eyes."

Um… okay…

Tohka did as told, closing her eyes shut. She was, unsurprisingly, greeted by nothing but darkness.

"What do you see?" Shidou asked.

"Nothing." Tohka replied.

Why are you doing this…?

"That's my world without you." Shidou said. 

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Bro.

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At Shidou's words, tears began slowly leaving Tohka's eyes.

Ah… Shidou…

"But enough about me, Shidou Itsuka." Let's talk about you, Tohka the Spirit. What do you want?"

"I… I want…" Tohka trailed off, unsure of how to respond.

What do I want? I don't want to be hunted anymore. I want to see more of this world. I want to spend more time with Shidou. But I… more than anything.

Wanted to live.

"I want to live!" Tohka shouted as she cried. "I want to live!"

Right there, right in front of Shidou, without a care in the world if anyone saw her, like a child, like a newborn child, she cried. She wailed. She felt Shidou wrap his arms around her.

"I did say I would comfort you." Shidou said.

Yes… you did…

"I want to live…" Tohka mumbled into his chest.

It's sticky… 

Shidou held her in silence as she cried. After a few minutes, she moved her head to look up at him.

"I'm sorry…" Tohka apologized.

"For what?" Shidou asked.

"I got your clothes dirty… again." She said, embarrassed.

"I told you it was fine." Shidou chuckled.

Still…

Tohka wrapped her hands around the back of Shidou's head. Pulling him closer to the point where their noses were touching.

Why is he so close…? I don't know… but it feels… right.

She closed the distance and their lips touched. This one act caused her heart to be engulfed in flames. She embraced the feeling, just as she embraced Shidou.

So… warm…

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Shidou was a bit surprised when he felt skin instead of clothing, just a little bit though.

Of course… fucking anime…

Tohka and Shidou broke the kiss. And for some reason, Tohka was half naked.

"Shidou?! What's happening?!" Tohka shouted. "Don't look!"

"Well you see. Your clothes are disappearing." Shidou replied.

"Shidou, what's going on?!" Tohka asked.

Anime. That's what happened.

"Oh yeah, I forgot that I had the power to seal your powers." Shidou said casually. "So you activate it with a kiss. How… cliche."

"…" Tohka stared at him blankly.

"What?!"

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"So… what do you think? She's harmless right?" Shidou asked.

"How did you do that?" Origami asked.

"Do what?" Shidou counter asked.

"Seal Princess's power." Origami clarified.

"Oh… that. That's my power as a harem protagonist. And I'm only saying that because I have no fucking clue why I can do that." Shidou replied.

"...Interesting." Origami said.

"So she's harmless right?" Shidou asked.

"That remains to be seen…" Origami said.

"Oh come on… you saw her go through an entire story arc and everything! Would a monster cry like a little bitch? No!" Shidou shouted.

"...I'll leave her be for the time being." Origami replied.

"Progress! Yes! I can work with that!" Shidou said enthusiastically.

"There is something I am curious about." Origami revealed.

"Hmm?" Shidou said. "What is it?"

"Why did you threaten to castrate Princess?" Origami asked.

"..."

Shidou abruptly hung up.

I knew I fucked up!

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Stargazer: Yo.

Stargazer: Listen… I know you're probably not going to see this and this is just a hail Mary.

Stargazer: But on the off chance that you do come back…

Stargazer: I found an obscure harem anime for you to 'critique'.

Stargazer: Personally I thought it was pretty good, but I'd like to hear your thoughts about it.

Stargazer: It's called date a live.