NINETY FIVE

Recap

I just couldn't make any sense of it. I kept wondering if I was broken or just not who I was supposed to be. Do you think I'm ugly? How fat am I? Is it because I don't believe in myself? Is it because I have a hard time keeping my nerve? Some words someone else spoke had the opposite effect on me once. "Ew, you're getting fatter; do some weight-loss exercises and kill yourself," Dami added. I allowed her and the others to break me down. Why can't I just love myself? Can I please just try to live my own life for once? I say it's difficult because I find it so. I long for the day when there will be no more pain or restrictions on my freedom. When my dad dies, I'll go back to being the person I was before. contentment, love, and independence. Freedom is an illusion, yet I long for it.

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