A Dream From The Past

"Okay Carmela, you're the princess so put the dolly up in the tower, and I'm the prince down here. He's gonna save you and carry you from the tower."

"But why are you saving me? Why can't the prince be up here instead?"

"Because that's how you play. The prince comes running to save the princess who's calling for help."

"But why can't the princess come running and save the prince?"

"Because she'll trip on her dress!"

"Why does she have to wear a dress?"

"Carmela! Because she wants to!"

"No she doesn't. I'm the princess and I don't want to wear a dress."

Carmela withdrew the pink beautiful princess from the top of the toy tower and pushed her little fingers against the cloth of the sparkly fabric, trying to tear it off. Jules sat in front of her and slammed the prince down on the ground.

"Carmela! Stop it!"

"No. This is my house and this is my doll!"

"No it's not! Your dad bought them for us together!"

"No he didn't! He's my dad so why would he buy you something?"

"It doesn't matter because he's not even here! NOW GIVE IT!"

"NO! STOP JULES!"

Her friend lunged at her and tried to take the doll but Carmela crawled away and ran out the room.

"I'M TELLING MAMA AND AUNT KASS! MAMAAA?!"

She pit-patted down the hallway and reached her parents' bedroom. What were those strange sounds?

Carmela pushed the door open with her stubby fingers and it creaked wide open. Aunt Kass was on her knees beside her mom's bed with her face in her hands. Why was she crying?

"Mama?"

Aunt Kass turned her flooding face to Carmela's and stood up quickly, stumbling over to the door. Her mouth twitched into something of a smile and she slammed the door shut in Carmela's face.

What? Why was Aunt Kass crying so much? Where was Mama?

"Mama? Mama!" She knocked on the wood again and again but no answer came. After a moment, she turned the door knob, pushing the door open a second time and stepped inside. What were those loud sounds? She looked towards the bathroom in the room and the door was open. Why was Aunt Kass leaning over the toilet? Was she talking to it? Was there something inside? Did she drop something?

Carmela walked to her mom's bed. The covers were completely pulled over her beautiful Mama.

"Mama? Are you sleeping?"

She wanted to see her. And tell her how mean Jules was. She didn't want to be friends with that girl anymore. She spied her mothers fingers from under the rim of the blanket and rushes forward, grabbing them in her tiny hands.

"Mama? Why are you sleeping? It's morning!" She giggled and tugged at her mother's fingers, sliding them out from under the covers. But her mom didn't move. Carmela looked down at the cold fingers in her hands and her vision blackened for a second as she saw the deep, dark red gash on the skin of her wrist.

She staggered back and her numb legs wobbled. Her eyes were veiled with some sort of black fog that engulfed her vision and she swayed on the spot before feeling herself fall. But she didn't stop falling. Her body grew colder and colder as she fell into a pit of blackness. She felt a scream escape her lungs before her entire body became still and the air, silent. Everything had stopped. The weightless fall, her uneven breath, the beating of her heart, her sense of consciousness. Everything was gone.

"Carmela? My little bunny, come and give me a kiss before I go..."

************************************

A pool of sweat had gathered on Carmela's forehead as she awoke with teary eyes. She raked her hair away from her face and squeezed her eyes shut, holding her head in her trembling hands. A sob ached in her body and she shook as she quietly wept in her bed.

Her phone rang beside her on the night stand, but she ignored it. Her breath caught between her sobs and she loudly sighed in an uneven voice as the stupid phone rang again. Fuck. She reached for it and it vibrated in her hand as she looked at the caller.

*Curly Haired Asshole*

What did he want? Shit, she definitely wasn't in the state to talk to him. She had a painful headache, her voice was all cracking and her nose felt stuffed.

"Yeah?" She said in a thin voice and attempted to clear her throat.

"Um, you alright?" Shit.

"What do you want?"

"Well, Roxana wanted me to call you and tell you that it's a day off. For all of us. Our practice room was booked by some other people by accident."

"Okay."

"So we can't go."

"Okay."

"Only for today."

"Taehyung. Okay. Is there anything else?"

She heard no reply and pursed her lips. She quickly wiped the tears that were somehow still streaming down her cheeks. She tried to keep her voice even as she repeated.

"Is there anything else?

"I thought you were calling me Tae now..." The fuck?

"Look, if there's nothing, I'm gonna hang up. I'm not in the mood to talk to you right now."

"Wait! What's wrong? You don't sound okay."

"It's nothing."

"Tell me!"

"No! It's literaly none of your business!" Her stuffy nose caused her voice to ring loudly in her ears as she raised her voice.

"Carmela. Sometimes people feel better if they let it out and talk. Why don't you try it?"

"Fuck off Tae, it's none of your goddamn business."

"Tell me."

"No!" Should she?

"Please."

"No!" Maybe it would help.

"Why not?" But he was an asshole.

"Because!" But maybe it would help.

"Carmela tell me for fucks sakes, I'm really worried- AHEM, curious now!"

"But I-"

"TELL ME!"

"Well, it's-"

"TELL ME RIGHT NOW!"

"Tae, I'm tryin-"

"TELL MEEEEE!"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP? I SAW MY FUCKING MOM IN MY DREAM!"

His deep voice went silent for a moment.

"Your mom? Shit. Wait is she-"

"Yep, she is. Now fuck off. For real."

"Hey, I'm sorry, I just thought you were like in trouble or something..." He mumbled off some more but Carmela didn't care.

She hung up and wiped her wet face. She didn't feel a bit better telling him about anything. But then again she hadn't really told him much. She just couldnt bring herself to say those words out loud so she just shoved them inside and let them eat away at her soul, piece by piece.

Carmela dropped her phone back on the table and moved to exit the room, yawning and rubbing her mild headache.

YES, it was a day off. Thank God. It had been a week or so of work and she had helped teach the boys a couple of different moves, and they even started coming up with the choreography for the song. Jin had become much better at dancing. His confidence improved as well as his skills. Namjoon was pretty good too, but he could figure out the dances just fine with his big brain. They had done a lot the past week. Roxana was a great partner and Carmela couldn't have done shit without her. Her days were looking up. Even Tae, for the most part, had been acting like a normal person with her. Well, almost. He was still a pretty big pain in the ass though.

Her phone chimed behind her and she groaned, clicking it open. It was a text from Jules.

"Wanna go get ice cream?"

"Yeah, be right there."