Time

Tick toc. Tick toc. Tick toc.

I placed the book I was reading down and took a sip in my coffee. It was ninutes to midnight and here I am stifling a yawn, hoping that she'd pass by me tonight. Maybe tonight she'll come... maybe.

I stared at the sky and kept my gaze on Polaris, the brightest star leading to Cassiopeia, the constellation we so selfishly called ours. I can't help but wonder if we were like her that we fell from Grace and made enemies to those we didn't even know existed. Were we like her? I shook my head and forced a laugh. We aren't, aren't we?

Just few years ago, no, several hundred years ago we laid in a field somewhere in Romania watching the stars above us and making up stories about lives that weren't as tragic as ours is. Some were too absurd that we ended up laughing out loud, disturbing the peaceful night of 406 A.D. Despite the hazy night, I remember so clearly how your eyes twinkled brighter than the universe above us, how there was fire in your eyes saying that we could beat this and that was everything for me.

A hug coming from behind brought me back to reality, soft warm hands warming up my soul. I faced her small almond eyes and wavy blonde hair, and gave her pink lips a kiss. "I missed you." She said as she buried her face in my chest. "How was the winter?" I asked her while she stared at me confused "Winter back in 1768." I teased her as I watched her eyes widen in shock. She dropped her gaze and murmured, "I just want to be part of your past." "Aw hey", I placed my hands on her cheeks and tilted her face so her eyes were staring into mine. "You don't have to keep on going back in the past you know. You don't need to go in the past because you're part of something more important. You're part of my present and future. You are my present and future." I hugged her, "You can visit me time and time again, any year, any century you wish to and I will always be here waiting for you. I will always wait for you to come back to me no matter how grave our future may seem like because you're the only one I love." I hugged her even tightly and felt as her strong facade broke down.

"I'm sorry I couldn't stay. I wish I could but I can't." She sobbed. I feel a lump forming in my throat. I just closed my eyes and tried my best to even out my breathing before speaking, "I know, I know. I wish you could stay too..." I sighed. "Please stay, I need you here..." My voice cracked and everything became undone, all the stitches I've been mended came loose. "I'm sorry it has to be this way. I'm sorry."

I wonder if the gods above are having the time of their immortal lives. I wonder if this is the kind of entertainment the succumb to in order to forget their own tragedies. I wonder if the high and mighty king finally learned to laugh after his last fall eons ago caused by fool hardy men. I wonder if he brags in his kingdom of gold the story of the unknowing couple who accidentally turned the world upside-down and how they have to pay dor eons to come. I wonder if they learned to swallow up their guilt as they display their powers to mere mortals.

I wonder if the stars weep whenever they hear the story of the fable star-crossed lovers who falls for anything so they fell for everything, how no matter what time they meet, the fates will always be against them. I wonder if they know how hearts break whenever she has to leave again and he has to live alone, how she travels anytime and every time while he has to learn how to survive each passing day swallowing the fear of her not coming back. I wonder if they remember us. I wonder if they know because this is our curse. This is the life we have to live to pay the debts we didn't know we had. She is a time-traveler and I am an immortal. She travels to gods know when while i cling on hope like a drug that maybe this day, this year, this century she'll pass by me. And while each travel earns a day off her life, I stay here, fixated until the end if time.