Self Portrait

Macki and I got settled in a corner of one of the empty studio rooms taking out our selection of brushes charcoals, pastels, and various types of paints. I stared at my blank canvas I tried to think of things that I could paint but came out with nothing. I thought that I could get a bit of inspiration from the room but that didn't help much since the walls of the white studio were bare there was not one window to let the natural light in and the studio lights were dim leaving this gloomy touch to the room. I guess I did know what I was going to paint after all. Even though I had an idea of what to paint I didn't feel like doing it at that moment. I thought painting could keep my mind off of the events that happened this morning, but I still can't get the image out of my head the hurt and the pain that I felt it wasn't going to go away, in the end I left the canvas alone thinking that this was the best way to show myself as a self portrait just like the walls of the studio room it was a dull white and nothing else. I got up and gathered all my things knowing that even if I stayed I would be doing nothing productive I said bye to Mackie who did not question my awkwardness. It was still bright outside so I decide to walk around and check out the shops trying to avoid going back to the dorms. As I looked around I saw more people walking around now that most of the classes were over so groups of college students were walking into PC cafes and going to the stalls that were selling street food. The sun was finally setting and I could feel the cold chills from the wind as I walked down the street. The moon shined brightly and was reminded of home when my Mom would make us eat outside during the summer and look through her grandfathers telescope. I missed home but knew hI could not go back after all this was my idea so I should see through it. If it was up to my parents they would have me stay home afraid that I wasn't ready to be on my own yet and they might be right but no one is ever actually ready to do things that they've never done you just have to do it. I have to admit that it was not the best reason but it was the only way that my parents would let me go to college. But looking at how the first day went I may have to try a bit harder to stay on the surface.