I Don´t Want to Feel

He was sitting against the door hands on his chest he was gasping for air he tried to breath in deep breaths but they were always cut short his head was pounding the sound of blood flowing and tears coming out of his eyes. The image of a boy no younger than 12 with a chord around his neck started to form in his mind he was falling to the ground and as the boy lied there Orion's breath started to even out. He started to calm down as he got more air but it didn't last long, he was pissed, something in him wanted to yell and scream like a lunatic, He started running his hands trough his hair and hid his face in his knees.

Hot tears started running down his face again and then he started to angrily mumble to himself,¨See this is why I don´t like getting to close to people, I don´t want to feel what they feel, I don´t want to know all of that.¨

Ever since Orion was little he was not fond of his gift the gift to feel everyone's feelings. He had to admit at first it was really cool, but then that started to change as he got older, things started to get more serious, more real. Some of his friends come to school acting like the happiest people ever, but inside they were tired and felt like life was a drag without meaning, longing for a sense of belonging. Orion tried to make all of his friends feel appreciated and give them reasons to live. It was hard because he then to became tired and felt useless. It hurt because he felt like he couldn't do anything to help his friends and the guilt would eat up at him. By the time he reached middle school he had closed off everyone and kept his feelings and everyone else´s to himself.

Orion started calming down again, he put his hands on his face and felt the dry smooth skin that was caused by his tears that have dried up. He finally got himself up on his feet and looked in the mirror he looked like he had been through a hurricane his hair was a frizzy mess and his eyes looked swollen. He turned on the faucet and cupped both of his hands under the cold running water and splashed his face numbing it as soon as it contacted his skin he was now trying to find a towel to dry his face. He looked in the mirror once again, with his hands he tried to come his hair a bit.

He left the bathroom more refreshed he got changed into clothes since he hadn't even bothered to get changed out of his pj´s. He skipped breakfast because he had no time to spare, it was almost class time.