This requires a broad, high-level review without zeroing in too closely on individual details, as this is only a preliminary evaluation. Set aside feedback that lacks a clear objective or critical insight, since many comments will address minor points that aren't currently relevant.
A general suggestion: try using AI-supported grammar tools like Grammarly to enhance clarity and cohesion in your writing. Such tools are widely accepted for improving grammar, style, and flow, and they’re valuable for refining your text.
In English classes, you may have been taught the importance of planning for creative writing assignments. Outlining a clear Beginning, Middle, and End can significantly streamline the writing process. By defining these main sections, the story’s development often unfolds more smoothly, with other elements fitting together naturally.
Writers generally fall into three categories: those who plan extensively, those who write spontaneously, and those who use a mix of both. Planners organize every detail in advance, setting up a structured outline that makes the actual writing more straightforward. Spontaneous writers, or “pantsers,” follow their instincts, shaping the narrative as ideas come to them. My approach combines planning with spontaneity. Some well-known writers who favor a spontaneous style are Stephen King and George R.R. Martin, who need little introduction. My method involves setting up a Beginning, Middle, and End but improvising many parts of the story along the way.
Writing Quality: There’s room for growth. Writing styles vary; some are complex and detailed, while others are more straightforward. Don’t let this discourage you. Keep writing and focus on honing your craft.
Update Frequency: Not particularly relevant here. This is fanfiction—there’s no payment or strict requirement to follow a rigid update schedule. Readers who follow your work do so because they enjoy it, so you should feel free to update at a pace that suits you.
Story Development: At this point, a comprehensive assessment may be premature, though the story is engaging so far. I’m interested to see how it progresses.
Character Design: Based on the protagonist’s current presentation, I expect their character to develop as the story goes on. Many readers on this platform come with specific expectations for protagonists, but they also appreciate variety. Still, they often react negatively if a character changes too much, so consider ignoring feedback that pressures you into forced consistency.
For example, some readers expect a character to be clever or stand out from the beginning, and if these traits aren’t immediately obvious, they may give the story a low rating. This can sometimes make these readers come across as picky or demanding. Crafting a unique character with quirks, however unusual or surprising, is a strength. Whether the character is overly fixated on something, behaves unpredictably, or reacts in a quirky way, I see these as positive traits that add originality.
In short, character development matters, but with refined writing, you can sometimes make a character engaging even without extensive development, though this takes skill.
World Background: This story is set in the Danmachi universe, so much of the world-building is already in place. However, adding your own lore or expanding the setting would be a great touch. Many writers, particularly beginners, find world-building challenging, so don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t turn out perfect. Experimentation is part of the learning process, so feel free to explore new ideas.
Good luck, and for uploading your work, you get an automatic 3/5 stars for putting yourself out there.
