Chapter 23 - Jay

The air is knocked out of me when I hit the water. I'm pulled down and although I fight as hard as I can to keep my head above the water. The pull on my body is too strong.

It stops, there is enough time for me to swim up, but before I get the change I feel a hand on my head, keeping me in place. No! The last bubbles of air leave my mouth as I scream.

When I look up I see a blurry shade, my eyes widen when I recognize the person. I try to fight the hand, I swing my arms at it, but it doesn't do anything.

I can't help it anymore. I open my mouth and let the water in. I scream again when the pain starts to settle in. And then I see another person who's thrown in the water. No, no, no.

Charlie's blue eyes found mine, but I'm already gone...

"Jay!" Everything shakes. "Jay, wake up!"

I shoot right up, my clothes stick to my body and I feel sweat dripping down my back and face. I feel two warm hands on my cheeks and look up. I want to move away, I want to scream and kick but then I see those blue eyes and the panic start to settle in.

"It's okay, I'm here." Charlie pulls me into her. "She can't hurt you anymore."

I break down, I cling to her wishing I wouldn't see that bitch's face anymore.

The nightmares started after I got released from the hospital a few weeks back. They are never the same scenery but they always end with me choking to dead, an helpless Charlie who tries to save me and the devil herself AJ.

After 3 days in a cell the police let her go, because nobody saw that she run me over. She did get a community service for hindering Charlie.

When Charlie heard that AJ was set free, she almost lost her shit. Me and Camilla had to hold her down before she could do anything stupid. We thought that we calmed her down but when there was an opening she almost left to beat up AJ, but I made her promise that she wouldn't because I need her.

Next to nightmares, I'm jumpy, when someone coughs, says my name out of nowhere, or touches me without a warning I panic. I'm working on it with my shrink, but it's still hard. That's why I still haven't told my dad about me being gay.

"Jay, look at me." I do what she says. She rests her forehead against mine. "Breathe." She caresses my cheek. "You're okay, you're safe."

"Thank you." I lay down with her again. I snuggle up against her, laying my head in the crook of her neck. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it isn't your fault." She strokes my back. "But what your fault is is that we are going to be late for school again if we don't jump in the shower."

I smirk and kiss her jaw. "I don't want to."

"You're smelly."

I hit her. "I am not."

"Fine, but I do." She kisses the top of my head and gets up. "Are you coming." She teases me by pulling off her shirt, revealing her naked torso.

"Right behind you." I really hope my dad is out for a run.

Still a bit shaky I follow her to the bathroom. She still makes me smile although I feel terrible. She hums a song I don't recognize and gets a hold of my hands. I chuckle when she dances with me through the bathroom.

"I thought we were in a hurry." I ask when she wraps her arms around my body and kisses my cheek.

"We are." Her hands slide towards my ass. "But there is always time to dance." I laugh and wrap my arms around her neck to move closer to her. "I will always make time for you."

A blush creeps up my face and I pull back a little so I can look at her. But instead of saying anything, I pull her towards the shower with me. "I want you." Those 3 words seem to awaken something in her and before I know it I'm lifted off the ground.

I giggle when I see the hunger in her eyes. "I have my clothes on." I shriek when the water falls on my head.

Well they are off now. "Do you?"

"Such a dork." She chuckles and kisses my lips. I moan when she presses my back to the cold wall tiles and her hand disappears between my legs. Fuck.

"I want you to forget everything and feel amazing." She moans in my ear. Oh god.

Before I know it her lips are between my legs and I have to hold myself up against the walls. I really try, but because I have to focus on holding myself up so much I don't enjoy it. Charlie moves us to the ground she only stop kissing my lips when I lay flat on my back.

I slap my hand over my mouth, her hands and tongue make it hard for me to keep quiet. Fucking... shit... "Charlie..." My head falls back and my back arches the closer I get to that barrier.

"Let go." She whispers against my skin. I squirm underneath her when she speeds up. I don't think I can hold on much longer. And with a few more flicks of her tongue I unravel under her. I call out her name coming down from that ecstasy.

Charlie kisses her way up, her lips brush lightly against mine.

"Char..." I kiss her back, she grins when I'm on top. "Your turn."

-----

A bit shaky I sit down at the table. Charlie walks out of the kitchen and shoves a plate towards me. "I'm waiting in the car."

"Can you wait inside?" I look at her, getting more nervous with the seconds.

She nods. "Of course, whatever you want, baby." She strokes my cheek and stands back up before my dad walks in.

"Hi girls."

"Good morning, sir." Charlie smiles with her lips pressed together.

"Please call me Gerald. Don't you want anything to eat?" He asks looking at the empty plate in front of her.

"I'm good, if you don't mind I'll use the toilet." Charlie swallows, she's nervous too.

Dad hold up his hands. "Of course, you know where it is."

"Be right back." Charlie gives me a reassuring look and moves towards the hallway. This is the moment I'm going to tell my dad and I'm scared to dead.

I don't want Charlie with me because I don't know how he will react. But if it explodes I want her near so he can't hurt me.

I swallow hard and try to stop my hands from shaking. I look up at him, he looks better. Well groomed, not as if he don't sleeps anymore. He looks peaceful.

"Dad." I carefully say. He stops eating and looks at me.

"What's up, kid?" He lays down his fork and knife when he realizes that I want to tell him something important.

I look down at my hands. "I have to tell you something." I can't. He keeps quiet. "It's something I have struggled with for a long time, I...."

"It's okay, take your time." He smiles softly at me.

"I need to tell you because it's important and I can't keep this a secret anymore."

"You can tell me, I'm not getting mad." Is it strange that I don't believe that? I look at him, he knows I don't trust him and I see the hurt in his eyes. But he knows why too. "Go on."

"I.... I don't think I like boys, dad." I look at him, he want me to say it. I look down. "I'm gay." When he doesn't say anything I close my eyes and let my head hang. He's disgusted of me.

That hurts more than I thought it would. "I'm sorry." I fight the tears. "I'm really sorry."

"Jayden." He says, he stands up and walks over to me. For a few moments I'm scared he's going to hit me. But he just pulls back the chair next to me and hold my hands in his. "It's okay." Tears roll down my cheeks and I can't hold back the sob. "It's fine, it's who you are."

He pulls me towards him, until we hug. "You don't ever have to apologize for who you are, I'm so proud of you Jayden." I let go for the first time in a really long time. I hug him back, find safety in his arms and I didn't think I would say that. "So proud." I hear him say again.

I sob in his arms, let every emotion out, every tear that I had bottled up. He just holds me and let me cry.

"Jay, listen to me." He pulls back so he can grab my face between his hands. "I'm the one who has to be sorry and I want you to never be ashamed of who you are." He wipes away my tears. "I'm sorry that I didn't got help sooner." He kisses my forehead.

He sighs. "The reason why I was late when you were in the hospital was because I got help, you didn't know that because you are not much home anymore." We chuckle. "And I will make it up to you until the day I die." He wipes away tehe last of my tears.

"I'm still sorry." I whisper.

"Don't be. You being gay changes nothing, you're still my little girl." He pulls me in his arms again. I sigh a sigh of relief.

When we pull back, dad looks at me. "I saw your mother." He begins, it takes me off guard. He never went to her. "It gave me the closure I needed and I'm really sorry Jayden." My eyes begin to water again but I don't let myself cry. His eyes water too. "I wish I could take it all back and start over."

I grab his hand. "It's okay." My voices is nothing more than a whisper.

He shakes his head. "Not it's not, I should have never laid a finger on you and say all of those things to you, you're my daughter for christ's sake." He squeezes my hand. "But I changed, I met someone who made me realize what's important."

Dad smiles. "You and your mom are important, what happened should have never happened." He looks at me. "I know Charlie is important to you." I roll my eyes and laugh when he gives me a soft push.

I smile and wipe at my eyes. "That's another thing I want to tell you, she's my girlfriend."

"Aaah, that's why you two look at each other all the time." Dad chuckles when he sees my face. "You don't think I'm stupid right?" He grins. "She made you smile after a really long and hard time."

"Yeah, she did." I try to get the smile of my face but I can't.

"Do you like her?" Dad cuts me of before I can answer. "You do if you keep smiling like that." He looks at me with a smile. "Are you going to introduce me properly to her?"

I see movement in the corner of my eyes. Charlie stands in the doorway, she seems a bit worried but when she sees the smiles on our faces she relaxes. "Are you ready to go?" She puts her hands in her pockets.

I look at her and then at my dad. "Dad, I want you to meet my girlfriend." I stand up and hold my hand out to her. Charlie seems uncertain, but when my dad also stand up, she walks up to me. Why is she acting so strange?

"So, you are the one that has my daughters heart?" My dad says when she stand next to me. I know Charlie feels intimidated when she moves closer to me almost as if she wants to protect me. Charlie forcefully laughs when my dad gets a grip on her shoulder with a laugh. "Come over for dinner, I want to know everything."

I feel how tense she is, she can't even relax when I slide my hand in hers. "Yeah, of course, sir." Her eyes find mine. "We should go, we are going to be late for school." She gives my dad a small smile before walking towards the front door.

"Is she okay?" Dad asks.

I put on a smile. "Yeah, she's just nervous for her math test."

Dad nods. "Alright, I want to know more tonight."

I smile softly at him. "Bye dad." I don't wait for an answer and follow Charlie to her truck. Only when we sit I open my mouth. "What was that?"

Charlie sighs, she hoped that I would drop it. "Jay, please." She looks at me. "Just let's go."

I shake my head. "No."

"Alright, fine." She slides her hand in mine. "I don't trust him, is that what you want to hear. I'm fucking scared that he will hurt you again." Although I want to be angry with her I can't, not when I see how tears start to form in her eyes. "I really can't see you hurt again, I won't let it happen."

"Baby." I move towards her so I can place my forehead against hers.

Her fingers caresses my cheek. "I really can't." She whispers. "And I'm so glad that he took you being gay well and that he seems changed, but I can't take the risk. Better safe than sorry."

"I'm still scared, scared that he will turn back into that awful person, but he seems better, he really got help and I need you to try, I need you to give him a change." Charlie is still quiet. "Please, promise me."

She blows out a shaky breath. "I promise, but if he touches you with one finger I will take you with me." I kiss her. "I will not let him hurt you anymore, ever." My lips shut her up, she has me.

------

The rest of the week happened in a blur. Same goes for the week after. I'm slowly doing better, the nightmares are still there but not as bad anymore, my dad is still doing okay. He's still going to therapy. Me and Charlie are in a good place and we made a plan to tell Keith.

Baseball is great, although Charlie has to play very careful now her hand is out of the cast. Coach was not happy she couldn't play for a few weeks. But she's slowly getting back. She needs to be, there are scouts from colleges looking at her.

Our relationship is doing great. She's very protective lately, dinner with my dad was less horrible then I thought it would be. Charlie even laughed with him, she just had to warm up to him. I know she still doesn't trust him and that's fine as long as she trusts me.

Now she knows that my dad's cool with her she comes over more, it's easier that way. We don't have to hide for Keith and my dad is a lot gone for work or therapy so we have the house for ourselves.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts as I almost trip over the stairs and make my way over the parking lot. I doesn't take me long to find my dads car. Charlie is already waiting against it.

She smiles when se sees me. "Hey babygirl."

I look behind me to see if somebody is there but nobody is at the parking lot. It isn't strange it's right before our baseball practise on a Wednesday so most kids still have class.

"Hey, babe." I let her pull me towards her, a smile creeps up my face.

"I missed you." She caresses my cheek.

"You saw me this morning." I say, wrapping my arms around her waist.

She kisses the tip of my nose. "That's a long time ago."

I chuckle and let her kiss me again. "How are your finals going?"

She sighs. "I hope good, I would like to go to college after this year." A few months back she signed a lot of forms for different kinds of colleges and now she hopes she can get a scholarship. I know she can get one, she's amazing.

"Mmm, my mom asked if you wanted to have dinner tomorrow morning. Keith will be there so we have to act like we're friends, but..."

"Yeah of course, your mom is an amazing cook." Charlie grins. She lets our fingers intertwine.

"How was your english test, do you think you rocked it?" I nod.

"Yeah, It was easy." Charlie grins.

"That's because you have a really good teacher."

"Is that so?" Her grin becomes bigger when I punch her in the side. "What did you teach me again?"

She rolls her eyes at me. "Don't be a smart ass."

"What are you going to do about it?" Oh god, the look in her eyes is not a good sign. She grabs my keys and unlocks the car.

"Get in." She holds open the back door. I smirk and climb in the car. She's right behind me and I have to hide my grin.

Her lips are on mine within seconds. God, I'm glad the car is parked between cars so nobody can see our make-out session. Because this is getting heated.

Charlie pulls me onto her lap, I feel her warm hands under my shirt and I have to hold back a moan. She plays with my sports bra for some time before her fingers glide to my back, where she tracks circles until her hands land on my ass.

"I can't wait until we are at your house." She whispers. Oh god, me neither.

I press my lips against hers, I wrap my arms tightly around her neck and pull her closer. I don't want this feeling to stop.

A loud thud on the back window make us jump apart. When we look through the window we see Jake and Andrew. Are you fucking kidding me!

"Ey suckers!" Andrew yells. "Quit making out!"

Charlie looks at me. "I will end them." Before I can hold her back she jumps out of the car and races after Andrew.

Laughing I get my stuff together and step out of the car. "Charlie!"

Jake grins at me. "Looked like you two had fun."

I roll my eyes at him. "We didn't get caught having sex in the back seat." I say. A blush creeps up his face.

"It was worth it." He says, waving at his girlfriend, Amelia. She comes once in a while to watch him practise. It's the cutest thing ever and she's fun to be around. "But shut up about it before she's here."

"Where's Keith?" I ask, my eyes land on Andrew and Charlie who are walking back towards us.

"He said he needed to get some stuff done, I think he is already at the field." I nod.

I grin. "Get a room." I tease when the two of them almost start eye fucking each other.

"Shut up, bitch, we haven't seen each other in a week." I gag.

I grin when I feel Charlie's arms around me. "I got you a puke bag."

"Ah, you're a lifesaver." I turn my head towards her.

"Mmm, I know." She quickly kisses me.

We look at the others when we hear an 'awww' from Amelia. "You two are so cute." Gag.

"If you keep it up, you don't even need to tell Keith." And there they go again. Andrew screams when Charlie almost gets a hold on him. He isn't wrong tho.