Chapter 16 - Jay

Charlie is not herself, she's not been herself for a week already. After what happened in the hospital, she's different. She's jumpy. I notices that she has panic attacks even at school. I see her leave the baseball field, knowing she has an attack. I shouldn't have said those things to her. But I'm so tired of her closing off on me. Of her shutting me out.

Everyone knows that something is up with her. But she blows everyone of and when she does that she's herself for some time again. Towards me, her walls are almost all down. She's so different when she's with me. She's so vulnerable, so soft. Especially after she told me she loves me.

We spent almost every night together, that's mostly because she doesn't sleep when I'm not there. I noticed the first day we spend separated. She looked like she hadn't slept. And I heard her and her mother talking. Camilla is worried about her.

I just want her to trust me, 'cause then I can trust her. So I will take her to my mom today and I haven't told her yet. I hope when she sees my mom she knows that it's okay. That she can tell me. She doesn't have to hide herself from me.

I smile when she looks at me from the other side of the hallway. She has to do a science project with some girl, I already see from this distance that the girl is flirting with her. But Charlie doesn't give a shit. She keeps looking at me, asking for help with her eyes.

Grinning I close my locker and look at Jake who was talking to me. "So her parents were very mad." He sighs. "Her dad yelled at me, it was horrible."

"I told you not to sneak into her house, you said it yourself, her dad doesn't like you." Jake groans.

"I know, I just want a change to proof that I love her." He pouts.

"Awww, Jake." A wrap my arm around his shoulders. "Than maybe you should stop banging her while her parents are home."

"Shut the fuck up, you're not helping." He pushes me off him. Laughing I walk in front of him. I ignore some looks. I can't help it and look at Charlie again.

"I think she needs our help." Jake says when we see how the girl almost throws herself at Charlie. "Look at Charlie's face." I almost burst out laughing when I see the disgust on her face. "God, she hates this."

Laughing we walk up to her, I see how she sighs in relief. "Training?" She asks straight away. The girl, named Olivia turns her head to us and rolls her eyes.

"Nah, but coach want to talk to us, so I hope we won't get killed." Jake winks at Olivia, making her roll her eyes again.

I chuckle. "You... will get killed, dork, you missed like 5 workouts and 1 game." He hold up his middle finger.

"It's not my fault that I'm bad and that my girlfriend is just amazing." Both Charlie and I gag. She playfully pushes me.

"We don't want to hear how she sucked -" Jake pushes Charlie, making her laugh and stumble over her own feet. "I'm joking!" In a feint she turns, locking Jake in her arms.

"Let go of me!" They hit some lockers and that's the point that Charlie let go of Jake. "I hate you sometimes." Charlie chuckles.

We hear the bell, shit, we are running late. Again. "Guys, we have to hurry." We all look at the clock.

"Shit." Charlie pushes some papers in Olivia's hands and grabs her bag out of her locker. "We have to run." She grins when she sees my face. "Olivia, send me a message about the assignment, decide what you wanna do and I do my part." She doesn't even look at Olivia.

"Let's go." I drag Jake along. We run through the school halls, almost running some freshmen's over.

"Out of our way!" Jake yells. "Look out."

Charlie and I move out of the way of two freshman boys, when we look back we see how Jake's body collides with them and how they crash to the ground. Sliding across the sleek floor. This is very bad.

We both try to hold back our laughter when we help the boys up. Jake is the only one who looks like he is in pain, because he tried to catch the boys when he fell. "You're such an ass head."

When Jake walks away with red stained cheeks, Charlie and I burst out laughing and try to catch up with him. But that's hard when you laugh as hard as we do. O god.

-------

Next to the running water and some music you hear nothing at all. Once in a while one of us sings along, coach let us do a heavy work-out because we were late. I'm exhausted.

"Did you saw his face?" I hear Charlie say. Her water stops and I hear how she walks to the benches. "He was so ashamed."

I laugh again. "It was the best thing ever." Jake couldn't look at us, the whole training. "He is such a dump ass." I step out of the shower too and wrap a towel around myself.

Charlie is almost fully dressed. "For the first time ever he trained really hard."

I grin. "He really did."

"Maybe he needs to fall over some freshman's more." We laugh.

"I think he will jump off of a bridge if it happens again." I sit down on a bench to get dressed. Charlie walks back to the showers, to wash her shoes probably.

"Should we go to my house, I was thinking about watching a movie and order a pizza." I hear Charlie ask. "Keith is out working, I mean I hope that he still goes now his arm is broken." He is such a moron.

"Well, I wanted to take you somewhere." I say.

"Mmm, so you are taking me out on a date." I grin.

"I don't know if this will be a very romantic date then." I say, I stamp my shoes on my feet, too tired to actually put them on properly.

Charlie looks at me when she comes back. "It can't get shittier than your first date."

"It was fine," I say.

"The first part of it, sure." Although she didn't want to let it show, I still saw hurt flashing trough her eyes. So I stand up and walk over to her.

"I'm sorry." I say quietly.

"Jay..." She tilt my chin up so I look at her. "How many times do I have to tell you that you don't need to apologize. You were totally right to call me out." It's a lie.

I shake my head at her. "It was not."

"Baby." She whispers, caressing my cheek. "It was, I needed to hear that." She looks me gay, well, straight in the eye. "And I'm sorry that first of all, your first date sucked and second of all it took me so long to see how much of an asshole I was."

"My first date didn't suck, it was great, until Keith had to interrupt us with his drama." And I almost let her go, that would have been the biggest mistake I could make. "And you're not an asshole, a jerk maybe, but I know you mean it well." I laugh when she punches my sides.

"God, you're so beautiful and mine." I blush and feel how her lips caresses mine. "I love you." God it feels great to hear that. I deepen the kiss, pulling her closer.

"I love you." I say against her lips, not wanting to break away. But eventually we do to catch our breath. "So what do you say, are you coming with me."

"This isn't a trick to just drive in my truck, right?" Her hands travel down my back, making me shiver.

"Char, babe." She bites her lip after I kiss her. "Do you trust me?"

She sighs. "Yeah, I do."

"Well, give me your keys then." With another sigh she hands them over, but before I can take them she pulls her hand away.

"If the boys are coming tho, I will never let you drive in my car again." I kiss her so she forgets about her keys and grab them out of her hand. "Damn it." She hisses.

"I promise, the boys are not coming." I step away from her to walk to my bag. "Get your stuff together or I'll leave you here."

"Yes ma'am." Still she grabs my hips and presses her body against mine. "Just 2 more seconds." She says right before kissing my neck. My head rolls to the side, giving her more access. It feel so fucking perfect when she holds me, kisses me.

"I will fucking punch you in the cross if you leave a hickey." She chuckles against my skin and bites in my jaw.

"I won't I promise." She kisses me again, but I still feel how she softly sucks at my skin, making me giggle.

"Charlie!" She laughs too, pulling away and embraces me.

"Okay sorry, I will stop." She kisses me on the cheek before she lets go. "Do I need to change into some other clothes for the surprise."

"It isn't a surprise and no, you don't have to change."

Charlie grins. "If I don't know where we are going, it's a surprise."

"You're a dork."

"Thank you." She says while she holds open the door for me. I roll my eyes. "It's my hobby." She laughs when I punch her. "Tell me where we are going." She pouts.

"No!" She laughs when I hold up my middle finger and step in her car. "Get in!"

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I'm so fucking tense and I know that Charlie knows that. But she doesn't say a thing. I never took anyone to my mom. Even my dad never comes here, although not that I know of.

The closer we get to it, the more I want to turn around. But I won't. I'm going to show her, I'm going to show her what caused all of this, what caused my misery.

"Jay." It's the only thing she says when I park the car in front of the hospital. I take a deep breath and look at her.

"You don't have to come, if you don't want to, but I want you to meet my mom." My voice cracks at the end and I hate it. I don't want pity, I don't want to feel like shit every time I talk about my mom. "I want you to trust me."

She seems to be in doubt. "Do you really want me to see your mom?" She stares in my eyes, looking for any doubts or anxiety.

"I want you to see for your self who she is." I say, I step out of the car and wait for Charlie. Knowing she will step out of the truck.

After 2 minutes I hear her door open and close and then I feel her hand in mine. "Let's go see your mom." I smile at her.

"When we go inside, just keep looking forward." I say pulling her behind me. The woman behind the desk greets us when we step inside.

"Hello ladies, Jay, visiting your mother?" Candice slides my name card over her desk.

"Yeah I am, I took Charlie with me, if that's okay."

Candice nods. "Just say your full name sweetheart." She says looking at Charlie.

"I'm Charlie Davis."

Candice types something on her computer and after some time she gives Charlie a sticker with her Name written on it. "Stay together and I will see you two within the hour." I nod.

I pull Charlie behind me, I make my way through the hospital. It's quiet today. No screaming. no yelling, just silence. "C. Davis, how are you feeling?"

"R. J. Miller I'm doing okay, what about you." She gently squeezes my hand.

"Couldn't be better." Before I can open my moms door Charlie pulls me back, she caresses my cheek.

"Just breath, I won't go anywhere. But maybe that's because I'm scared." I laugh and lay my forehead against hers. "It's okay." She says.

"I want you to know that my mom doesn't response to anything you will say, but she hears it."

"Jay, breath." Charlie holds my eyes.

"Thank you." I look at her. "May I open the door now?"

Charlie nods and steps away. "Go ahead."

Here goes nothing. I open the door, like always it's dark inside. So when Charlie and I make our way to my mom I put some lights on. Mom sits at her usual spot, near the window, looking at the cars. Today she looks better than the last time.

Charlie looks at me when I walk up to my mom. "Hi mum." I look at Charlie before nodding to a chair. Uncertain she walks up to me. "I brought Charlie with me." God I hate the fact that she doesn't response.

Charlie looks at my mom for some time, sympathy filling her eyes. "Hi, Mrs. Miller."

"I think you would've likes her." I say softly. I let Charlie's fingers and mine intertwine. "There's something I want to tell you."

Charlie looks at me, knowingly. She nods at me. "Take your time." I don't want to, I just want to say it, I'm scared that when I take my time, I chicken out.

"I'm gay." I blurt out, making Charlie chuckle. "I've known for a while and I've met her." I say looking at Charlie. "And I really like her."

"She loves me." Charlie whispers making me blush.

"She means a lot to me, so I wanted that you two met each other." I continue. "I hope you will still love me." Charlie squeezes my hand again. "And no, dad doesn't know yet." I relax a bit when Charlie lets her thumb slide across the back of my hand.

"Mrs. Miller, I just want to say that your daughter is the most amazing and caring person I know. She's different than the others. She turns your world upside down and I would give everything to know her longer." Charlie looks at me. "After everything she's been through, she stays true to herself and her family and that's why I love her." I almost start crying.

"I know -" Her sentence is cut short because Mary comes barging in.

"Hi Jay, just bringing your mothers laundry." She looks surprised when she sees Charlie. "And who's the lovely dear next to you?" Here we go.

"This is Charlie, my uhm, my girlfriend." Mary seems surprised and for a second I'm afraid she will talk about god and that this is a sin, but she smiles.

"The Charlie you talked about a few months back?" I ignore Charlie's stare, she's grinning. "Well, well, well." Mary chuckles. "She's indeed very pretty." I close my eyes when I see how Charlie's grin widens. "I'm almost out of your hair." She says making her way to my mother bedroom.

"A few months back?" Teases Charlie.

"Shut up!"

"You called me pretty?"

"I will kill you."

"Here I thought I was the only one crushing on you." I roll my eyes at her and chuckle when she hits me in the side.

"I'm sorry mom, maybe it was a bad idea bringing her."

"He, that's not fair." Charlie says. "I know for sure that your mom loves me."

"And how would you know that?" I cock my eyebrow.

She grins. "Because you love me too." Oh dear god.