Chapter 12 - Jay

Slowly I open my eyes, let them get used to the light. A smile immediately appears on my face when I realize where I am.

The past few weeks have been the same. At the weekend I was with the boys, one time it was at Jake's house, the other time it was at Andrew's and last week we went to a party, so things changed a bit. What remained the same is that I would sleep over at Charlie's and Keith's. I used a team bonding excuse for my dad, he fell for it.

The best part of the night was when everyone went to bed. I would sneak up to Charlie an hour later, nine times out of ten she would press me against the door and press her lips to mine, then we would land on her bed and kiss until we couldn't breathe. Every time we go a little further, but we haven't really touched each other yet. I really want to, I wanted nothing more, but I somehow can't make that step, if it gets to close to that barrier I panic, so we just talk. Or we lie in each other's arms until we fall asleep, which really takes only 5 seconds.

And maybe the best thing is to wake up like this, she's always awake first. Caresses my hip with her fingers, kisses my shoulder. I don't know, I always turn in my sleep, so we always end up spooning in the morning.

"Good morning, babygirl." I grin and feel her press her lips against my neck. I turn in her arms and stare into her bright blue eyes.

"Good morning." My smile widens as she caresses my cheek. I turn around again and pull her towards me. Charlie puts her arm around me from behind and lays her head back against my neck.

"I have a question," she whispers, closing her fingers in mine.

"Mm-hm," I mumble, I have closed my eyes again, I love it when we lie down like this.

I gasp as her lips travel from my ear to my neck, I've known for a long time she's going to leave a love bite, but I don't care.

"Charlie..." She laughs against my skin and snuggles closer to me. "Just say it."

"Are you sure?"

"Well if you ask me to rob a bank, the answer is no." She laughs again, man I love when she laughs and it's getting easier to make her laugh.

"Go on a date with me," she interrupts our laughter. What?

"Okay," I reply dryly.

"No Jay, I mean it, a real date, not lying in bed and eating pizza with a movie." I turn to her.

"But I love those evenings."

Charlie grins. "Me too, but you still have to go on a first date."

As much as I want it, we can't, or better said I can't. "You know we can't do that, Charlie."

She lifts my chin. "Well in my way, it can. Please say yes." She's persuades me with her smile and her eyes, how can I ever say no to her?

I sigh. "Okay, I'll go on a date with you, but if I don't like it, I'll go."

Charlie is already kissing me, we roll over, now she's hanging above me. I have to suppress a moan as her hand slides over my body, touching me in the right places.

We roll over again, now I'm hanging above her. I like the control I have now, I set the pace, even though it's difficult with Charlie since she just does what she likes. She giggles on my lips when she realizes I didn't want to go that way. Still she just keeps going, I feel her hand between my legs. For the first time there is no panic, or fear or a tight feeling.

"Is this ok?" She asks when I don't tell her to stop like I used to do, her hand has slipped away for a moment. If I didn't want her so badly now I would smile, I think it's cute and sweet when she asks if I'm okay with it.

"Charlie." I groan in frustration. With a grin, she slips her hand back and kisses me again, with more lust this time. Fuck. Everything feels so good, maybe because I know she's serious about her feelings, maybe it's because we've slowly build up tot this moment or maybe I'm just ready.

I break away from her for a moment, let her know with a few kisses that I'm not done yet and then really break away from her to pull my shirt over my head. Watch her breath catch in her throat and press her lips back to mine. It won't take us long for her shirt is on the floor too.

We're sit up now, but we don't care. My head tilts back as she kisses me on the neck and her hands run down my back.

A frustrated groan rolls over our lips when we hear her alarm clock ring. I laugh as she knocks her phone off her nightstand and picks up where she left off. I love every moment, her hands, her lips, her tongue.

"Charlie!" My voice is hoarse, I tilt my head back and press my lips to hers. I whine when she comes forward with a grunt and that force makes me land on my back. Our lips never break.

My back arches when she pulls my soccer shorts over my butt. Now I'm in my sports bra and thong laying under her and honestly it feels like I'm still wearing too much. Charlie grins on my lips when I pull her shorts down a few inches. She breaks away from me for a moment to kick her shorts off her legs. She almost throws herself on top of me, making me laugh.

"Shut up." Her lips interrupt my smile. I groan as her hand slides down my stomach. Please, she has to go further. But she waits. I groan in frustration when she breaks the kiss.

"Charlie..."

She kisses my cheek and caresses my stomach. "Are you sure?" Her voice is as hoarse and breathless as mine. "We don't have to."

My eyes find hers, with my elbows I push myself up so that I'm at the same level with my lips as hers. "I want to." Charlie glances at me for a moment. Jesus, it takes her way too long.

I pull her face towards mine and kiss her. Get the hint. Finally her hands slide over my body again.

"Charlie!" I almost scream when someone pulls hard on the handle of her door.

Charlie grunts in frustration and rolls off me. "What?" She almost falls out of bed when she gets up and I have to try my best to hold back my laugh. I quickly roll under the covers. I'm 100 percent sure that Camilla knows what's going on between us.

"Mom what?" She growls again as she quickly pulls a shirt over her head. When Camilla doesn't respond again, Charlie grumpily unlocks her door and swings it open.

Camilla wanders is with a smile and a laundry basket with clean laundry. "Good morning girls." She rushes past Charlie and throws open her closet. I try to hold back my laugh and disappear under the covers.

"Do you have to do this now, I can do this too, huh." I hear the curtains being pulled open. "Mom." Charlie really is just as stubborn as Camilla.

"If you are the one doing this, it still isn't done in 2 weeks." I hear a smack. "This is what I ment Charlie, you literally threw your baseball bat in your closet."

I feel Charlie drop down next to me. "What's the point of tidying up if I literally use it again the day after." I have to suppress another scream when I feel her hand on my leg out of nowhere. I knock it away as it slides to the inside of my thigh. I hear her chuckle next to me as she takes my hand.

"You've turned it into a pig again and you stink."

"Excuse me." Now I can't help it and I laugh. I also hear how Camilla starts to laugh.

"Jay stop laughing." Charlie nudges me, but I can't help it. I roll away from her, although I had forgotten that I was already lying on the edge of the bed. So I fall with blanket and all. I hear how Camilla and Charlie both gasp.

"Jay!" How quickly Charlie pokes her head over the edge of her bed only makes me laugh even harder. "Are you okay?" She asks, trying to hold back her laugh.

I turn on my stomach so I don't have to look at her face. "I'm peeing my pants." Now Camilla is laughing again. "Oh no, for real." I fold the blankets around me and run to Charlie's bathroom. I leave the now-crying from laughter Charlie and Camilla and make my way to the toilet. I can't handle this.

Somehow I feel the same frustration that Charlie feels, we had never gone this far and for the first time I didn't mind, it just felt perfect.

I stagger back to Charlie's bedroom with the blankets wrapped around me again and let myself fall back on her bed. Camilla has disappeared again and Charlie is standing by her closet.

"Have you gotten her to leave?" I mutter.

"She left 10 seconds before you came back, I told her to make breakfast." Charlie crawls into bed with me. "I wasn't really looking forward to her nagging, I was busy." I bite my lip and let her come closer. Kiss Me!

"Charlie!" Camilla interrupts us once again. "Take a shower, right now!" Charlie sighs.

"It's okay." I press a kiss on her lips. "Go take a shower before she comes bursting in again."

Charlie sighs again and nods. "Maybe we can finish this afterwards." She puts her forehead against mine.

"I'd like that, but I have to be home by 3:00." Now she groans again. "See you at school on Monday."

"Do I have to wait so long?" she sighs.

"Can you?" I tease.

Charlie looks at me with the same playful eyes as I do. "I have my manners." I scream as she grabs my hips out of nowhere and pulls me closer. "Shhh, Keith will hear you." Before I can think about it she kisses me.

"Take a shower," I say in between kisses.

"Only if you come along."

I roll my eyes and push her back. "Go!"

She gets up with a sigh. "Don't leave without saying goodbye!"

"I won't." She finally lets go of my hand and makes her way to the bathroom. She expressly takes off her shirt, so I look away. She smiles and disappears behind the wooden door.

It takes a lot of effort to drag myself out of bed and get dressed. I don't want to go home at all.

-------

The ball hurtles through the air. Homerun. I grin as I walk to the field and see Andrew running across the bases. Someone comes running to me from behind and puts his arm around me. It's Jake.

"How was your weekend? Survived the Davis house?" He looks at me with a grin. It's already Wednesday, but Jake has been sick. "Sick."

"It was fine, how was your girlfriend?" He shakes his head with a grin.

"It was cozy."

I grin. "Wow you kidding right?" I tease.

"Shush, you were having fun with Char, didn't you?" I push him away and put my foot out so that he stumbles over it. Jerk. I don't know how he did it, but he knew that Charlie and I had feelings for each other before we knew it ourselves.

"First of all, ouch," Jake says as he scrambles to his feet. "Second, why did you miss this training?"

"Dentist." He nods and my shoulder hurts, so I had to rest from coach. "You really look like you could fall down any minute."

"It's too hot." We chuckle and stop at the dugout. Make use of the shade. "You are going to like the lake."

"Mmm, we'll see." We agreed on Monday to go swimming today, it is as if a heat wave has struck, everyone is dying from the sun. I don't really know if it's really smart that I'm going to see Charlie in a bikini and vice versa but I don't really have a choice here.

"Water," Keith gasps. I throw a bottle at him and throw one at Andrew as well. He looks at me gratefully.

"Where's Charlie?" I ask when the boys stand next to us.

"Strike training." As soon as Keith says it I hear a loud smack, I look past the boys and just see how the bat hits the sand and Charlie sprints to first base. She's getting faster, her strikes are better and damn she looks good.

"How was the dentist?" Andrew stares at me.

I chuckle. "Awesome." The boys grin. "Yeah, right, real nice getting a hook in your mouth."

"Sounds great." Jake grins at me.

I feel it immediately when her eyes land on me and look up again. Charlie walks up to us with Coach Lewis. Drops of sweat bead over her forehead and her shirt sticks to her body, but she doesn't seem to care much, at least not when she sees me.

"Keep it up, Davis." Coach eyes land on us. "Jake, a word." Jake takes a deep breath and then walks away with coach Lewis. He's fucked.

"Nice ball, Char." Andrew pats her shoulder. "You're almost getting better than Nolan."

"Did you see how bad his strikes were?" She snorts. "Coach is disappointed in him."

"We know that." Keith snorts too. "But that boy does a lot for this team."

"You have to prioritize, Keith, Nolan has to choose, baseball or football." Charlie glares at her brother for a moment. "Everyone knows that." I know that Keith also played basketball, but their dad kept Keith from playing basketball, so he had to give it up. Don't get me wrong, Keith is good, very good, but I know he would play basketball if he got the change.

"We are going to take a shower." Keith packs his things, just like Andrew. "We'll see you in fifteen minutes." The boys walk away, leaving us here together.

Charlie looks at me straight away, she tries to suppress her smile, but fails. So I take her hand, her bag is in front of our hands so no one can see it, but my heart beat still quickens. "I've missed you," she says calmly.

Now I can't help it anymore and I smile too. "I missed you too." God how I would love to kiss her right now.

"Wait for me in the locker room, I want to talk about something." I nod and follow her to the girls' dressing room. I sit on a bench and keep busy with my phone for a while until Charlie has undressed and walked around the corner to take a shower.

"What did you want to talk about?" I ask when the music is playing in the background. I push my back against the cold tiles and sigh. It's really too hot today.

"How was therapy?" I bite my lip. Charlie knows I didn't went to the dentist, but to my psychologist, after I told her about my father, she convinced me to talk to someone. At first I kind of closed about it and I didn't know what to do with all my feelings, but now I'm opening up more towards her. Therapy helps.

"It went better than last time," I admit. "It was still difficult."

"I get it." I sigh softly. "It gets better, it really does, Jay."

"Does it get better for you too?"

Charlie pauses for a moment. "It's different with me, you know that."

"Well I don't know because you're not talking to me about it." Shit, I don't want to act like that, but it is true. It hurts that I open up to her, but she is still closed off. She is still very hidden behind her walls.

"Jay..."

"How am I supposed to help you if I don't know what's going on." The shower turns off and after a few seconds she comes around the corner, clutches a towel against her body.

I can see the pain in her eyes. "It's not what you think it is Jay, I..." She sighs. "I'm not good at talking, especially not about this." She bites her lip. "I suck at feelings and this is just hard."

"But if you just—"

"Believe me, it isn't." I put my head against the wall with a sigh and wait for her to wear some clothes.

"Are you ever going to tell me?" She turns and walks over to me. She bends down in front of me and takes my hands.

"I just need some time, okay, I'm just not ready." Her voice breaks a little in the end, so I squeeze her hands.

"Okay." I let go of a hand and wipe some wet strands of hair from her face, man she smells good. I can't help but dive forward to kiss her. Her hands land on my cheeks and pull me closer to her. Everything is raging inside me as always.

"Please have a little patience, it's quite a bit." I nod and put my forehead against hers. Charlie gives me a small smile, kisses me, then gets up to get dressed again. I can only look at her, keep asking myself the same thing over and over again. Who hurt her so much?