She is Such a B*tch

Hi I am Hassan. She does not even believe that it is my name. Agatha. You must text each other. I will give your number to her, okay?

P.S. Your silly little brother.

That's it?! Hahaha

I laughed through the phone at my boyfriend, Hassan. He said he wants me to text her sister. He is always so innovative. And I was never serious about him. I mean, this man maybe thinking I am his future wife or something. But we're in a long distance situationship for 4 months. I know. I never get the gist of dating. I have always believed on kiss and tell. You really are a dumb pear to fall from a tree that is giving you life because you want to feel freedom and be eaten. But he kept me company so it's all cool. He does know I am pansexual.

I love you.

I love you too.

Goodnight.

Go to sleep. Ta ta!

I sigh. I don't know what I want. And will I stay like this? I am so tired already and I just turned 18 last December. It's 2024 now, everything is new, but not really.

I am going out.

-------------------------------------------------------

Being outside makes me feel something else, I just stare at people randomly, I watch their lives, and compare it to mine.

I am so lucky I am alive.

Ouch...

I whisper from the bathroom wall of the only mall here in our city. It's the only place I go to to entertain myself. By looking at things I can never afford.

My vagina hurts. If only my boyfriend is here, maybe then he could help. I lost my virginity 10 days after my 18th birthday. From running away from home, I approached a stranger and had sex with him when he took me to his home to help. I was really feeling sad, and no strings were attached. I let go things easily. I never seen of him again. Same as the girls I used to fuck with before. I always leave people because I feel like they do not deserve me.

I gawked at the toilet's water. There are no tissues. I waited and thought for awhile about the advances I could have had in life if I am not in a random bathroom inside the mall, maybe then, maybe, I am graduating senior year.

I cut my hair again, I like it short. I love feeling masculine. I like to stare at my self in the mirror, because my reflection is more beautiful than my real self. I am too complex for this world to understand and take serious. I could never take things serious.

Besides, it's my life.

Not yours.