Chapter 7: This

Jane had such a soft hand, but they were so flippen cold. Holy flip, why are her hands so cold? She just held my hand to pull me along as we walked out of the school gates. Bunking was so easy. Damn. Jane let my hand go as we crossed the street; she had grabbed her school bag on the way out, so it was strapped onto her back. She carried her bag with both straps on her shoulders while I only hung my bag on one of my shoulders.

"So, uh… where were you yesterday?" Jane asked as we walked.

"I was hungover." I shrugged. It was better to use the same cover story so people didn't figure out I was lying.

"Your parents let you drink?"

"No. My Dad doesn't really care what I do, and my mom will never know. Are you sure we can go over to your place? Won't your folks freak that you bunked school?" I questioned. According to Jane, I didn't know anything about her, so I had to play the part.

"Oh, yeah. I stay alone."

"You, a 14-year-old, stay by yourself? Sure, whatever you say."

"I'm 13, my birthday is only in April, and why would I lie?"

"I don't know. To impress me." I smirked. Jane rolled her eyes and grabbed my hand to pull me towards her apartment.

It was nice, you know. Mowed lawn, small garden with a rose bush and a welcome mat by the front door. Jane dug in her school bag then pulled out a set of keys which she used to open the door. Inside there were quite a few boxes unpacked, but her place seemed like just a spot to sleep. There was nothing on the walls and no furniture to make the area feel like a home. She had a couch facing a television, which was on a box with a tv cabinet inside.

"I haven't unpacked yet, as you can see. It's my parent's stuff… I just haven't gotten around to it yet. They… uhm, they passed when I was 12. So, yeah… that's why I stay alone." Jane explained and shoved her hands into her jean pockets.

"Who's the lady that picks you up? In the red Ferarri."

"That's my aunt. She technically takes care of me, but I like my personal space. I kind of live off the money my parents left for me."

"I find it cool that you live alone." I smiled.

"Sorry, I haven't had someone come to visit yet. So, you're the first. Uhm, would you like something to drink or eat?" Jane offered.

"Can I get those bandages?" I laughed. Jane was nervous, and I found it adorable.

"Oh, right!" She gasped and ran off. She returned with a whole first aid kit. I thanked her and dropped my jacket onto my school bag. "Let me wash this for you," Jane added and picked up the jacket.

"Thanks. Can't spend the day in clothes full of blood. Take this as well." I smiled and pulled my shirt over my head. Jane blushed and nodded. There was a bit of blood on the waistline of my pants, but I doubt she had anything that would fit me. I fumbled through my pencil case and took out the stapler; it would work better than the thread. I pinched my skin together where the stitch snapped and stapled the skin together. There was a slight pinch, but I was dozed with painkillers. At this point, I couldn't feel any pain.

"That's a bullet wound," Jane mumbled. I quickly looked up; I hadn't heard her walk back to the lounge. She stood near the open kitchen and froze.

"Uhm, yeah. The party I went to got a bit wild." I chuckled awkwardly. I grabbed the elastic bandage and was about to stick it over the wound when Jane stepped me.

"You haven't even cleaned the wound or anything. Let me help you." Jane remarked and walked closer to me.

"I got it." I shook my head and turned away to finish up. She grabbed the elastic bandage from me and dared me to take it back.

"I won't ask any questions. I'll just help you." She snapped. Jane fetched some warm water with disinfectant and cleaned the wound. She constantly asked if it hurt and was super gentle. Jane covered both the front and back wound with medical gauze and then the elastic bandage. She also wrapped my torso with cotton bandages. I put my hand over hers while it was on my chest.

"Thank you." I smiled.

"You should probably go to a hospital, but this will stop the blood," Jane stated and quickly met my gaze, then pulled away.

Jane quickly cleaned up the supplies from the first aid kit and then poured us each a glass of coke. I relaxed on her couch and just watched her fiddle around in the kitchen.

"Why didn't you just take the T.V. cabinet out of the box?" I asked.

"To be honest, I don't know how to assemble it." She laughed. I smiled at her and shook my head. Jane had a beautiful smile, and my heart started beating faster whenever I saw her happy. I knew she was just part of the mission, but I was glad I got to know her. She was just the type of person you remember, even after 10 years. She was kind and adorably awkward and also didn't take crap from guys.

I spent the first 10 years of my life wishing I could be one of those people that were lucky enough to find their person at a young age. To just feel overwhelmed and happy that someone else loved them entirely and without any exceptions. To have someone just accept you completely. To, without doubt, know they loved you. Then I went to D.T.A. and learnt that humans are awful. We are selfish and just take whatever we want. Believing in love was for children. People will judge you or want to leave as soon as something goes wrong or you finally express your darkest secrets. Everything wants to have this perfect relationship, but the matter of fact is that we are only human. We make mistakes and think unimaginable things. Some of us even act on these thoughts.

Don't get me wrong, some of the things I do… are awful. I torture people to get information, play around with emotions and make them live through their worst fears, constantly break trust, deceive everyone that meets me and kill. I guess worst of all, I enjoy it. I love to be able to twist a person's mind and know exactly how to break their hope. It's what gets me through the day. Knowing that I will always be one step ahead of everyone. I will always take before I get stolen from. You can't trust anyone. So I hurt others before they hurt me. Call me evil… but all I do is survive.

I continued to watch Jane. She had the whole innocent, good girl act perfectly set out. I wanted to break that. To show her the excitement that comes from doing something wrong. I wanted to teach her not to trust anyone. I wanted to show her how to hurt people before they hurt her. I wanted Jane to protect herself from all the selfish ways in the world. I wanted to break her so that she could survive.

Yet, the other half of me just wanted to take and not care whether it taught her the ways of the world or not. I wanted to be selfish with her and keep her all to myself. To say fuck D.T.A. and keep her heart even when the mission comes to an end.

"Taine? Hello, anyone home?" Jane called. She sat down next to me and waved her hand in front of my face.

"Yeah, sorry. The painkillers make me drowsy. What's wrong, sweetheart?" I responded.

"Your phone. It's going crazy." She stated. It had been ringing and beeping the whole time. It was just Cameron wondering where I was and asking what happened. I quickly replied and said I bunked with Jane.

"Just Cameron. I swear he acts like he's my Dad sometimes."

"Rocksyn is also overprotective."

"I just want to do something without anyone questioning me, you know?" I asked.

"Not really. I like to know I'm safe and let at least someone know my whereabouts." Jane replied. Urgh, she was so good.

"Do you feel safe with me?"

"I, uhm… barely know you." She stated. I shifted closer to her and interlocked her fingers in mine.

"How do you feel around me then?" I inquired and ran my fingers lightly up her arm with my free hand.

"Cautious," Jane whispered. I moved her hand to my warm chest and ran my finger down her neck. "Excited." She added. I leaned in closer to her and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "Wanted." She said, and her hands caressed over my muscles. I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her body closer to mine.

Why did this girl make me so crazy about her? I was so close that I could feel her warm breath on my lips. "Free." Was the last word she muttered before I kissed her. I started off soft and let her release a breath after each kiss. Jane then climbed onto my lap and put her knees on either side of me. I moved my hands to her back and over her breasts; I wanted to remember how she felt.

"Jane… wait," I mumbled against her lips and pulled away.

"What's wrong?" She asked, worried.

"I… I want to take things slowly." I responded. What was wrong with me? Why did I just say that? "I really like you, and I want you to like me too. I want to try to be with you."

Was this just the mission talking? No. I did like her. Something inside of me begged to let her fall for me as well. I really did want to try to see where things would go.

"I don't date," Jane stated. Uhm, I'm sorry. What? I'm vulnerable here, and you decided to tell me now that you don't date.

"Neither do I, sweetheart. If you agree to this… then I will be loyal to you until you tell me to leave."

"What is this? What are we?"

"Don't label us. I don't believe in titles." I stated.

"Okay. I agree to… this." Jane smiled and gestured to the two of us. We kissed a little more then she went to fetch my shirt and jacket out of the tumble drier. I assembled the T.V. cabinet while she made us lunch, then we chatted and watched a movie together.

I learnt some of her favourite things and what she wants out of life. I also discovered that not only did she lose both her parents but her siblings as well. Jane had the cutest pet peeves and got annoyed when I changed the volume on the T.V. to anything else besides a number ending in 5 or 0. She hated the sound of me cracking my knuckles and was obsessed with space. We joked around about aliens a lot.

"Why don't I ever see you at Cameron's parties?" I asked as she rested her head on my chest. We were cuddling while watching T.V.

"I feel like I wouldn't like it," Jane replied.

"Would you come if I asked you to?"

"I don't know. Rocksyn has tried, but I didn't feel comfortable."

"What if I promise not to leave your side? If you don't like it, we can come chill here by your place."

"I'll see what Rocksyn is doing and let you know." She remarked. I put my number on her phone and sent myself a message. We then also took a bunch of photos using the snap chat filters.

I thought back to Peanuts words. To make her fall for you, make her laugh, but every time Jane laughed, I was the one that fell.